Chapter 11
11
GAGE
“Steady, Ari. Steady.”
Ari gripped my forearm and pulled herself up to sit, ignoring the four or five times I’d told her already that she needed to lie down. But I knew why she couldn’t. The moment she was up, she opened her arms.
“Can I hold her?” she asked. “Is it safe? How much time do I have to hold her? Because I’m sick, right? I got whatever it is, and I’m going to turn into one of those things walking around.”
Tayler walked to the other side of Ari’s bed and said, as gently as if talking to Thandie, “No, sweetie. You had pneumonia. I’m Tayler. I’m a doctor. My group found you in the camper and brought you here to be treated.”
Ari’s eyes filled. “So, I’m gonna live?”
Thandie, drifting in and out of sleep, finally caught wind that her mother was lucid and lurched forward. I had to hold onto her like a loaf of bread to prevent her from falling while placing her in Ari’s arms.
Ari held Thandie as close as the little strength she had allowed. Then, I noticed Tayler send Carolyn a look. Carolyn nodded and left the room, promising to come back later.
“I’ll give you two some privacy,” Tayler said, moving toward the door. “Ari, I’ll be back soon to examine you, okay?”
Ari, eyes wide, searched the small room. “What about Julien? Gage, please tell me you found him. Or heard from him. You know Julien wouldn’t go out easily. Isn’t that right, Thandie, sweetheart?” She kissed Thandie’s cheek. “Daddy would fight Hades himself to get back to us.”
I looked over my shoulder and caught Tayler’s frown as she left.
“He’s not here,” I said, finding a spot on the edge of the bed. “We ended up here out of luck, basically. The doc’s group was at the clinic at the same time I was. She told me about the camp and left food and medicine. It wasn’t until I got back to the camper that I found out they took you.”
She reached for my hand and squeezed. “Gage, I’m sorry I?—”
“Nothing to apologize for, love. Had a tough go of it, but I’m doing better now.”
“Still, I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”
“You’re here now. I missed you, ankle-biter.”
“I missed you too, Gagey. “She released my hand and searched the room a second time. “So, how do you feel about this place? You know we’ve seen our fair share of ‘decent on the outside but hell on the inside.’”
I shrugged. “They have walls, warm food, and access to medical care. That’s more than we had at the last place. Plus, Thandie’s fighting a fever. It’s probably the same bug you caught, but it might not be as bad. Tayler’s keeping an eye on her.”
“I owe her my life.”
“I owe her your life, too.”
She glanced at the doorway. “You want her, don’t you?”
“Ari, you’ve been fully conscious for less than an hour.”
“And still picked up on it.”
“Yeah, well...” I scratched the back of my head and took another quick look over my shoulder. “She thinks me and you are married and that Thandie’s ours.”
“Eww.”
“Oh, fuck off, mate.”
She smiled, and I couldn’t describe the relief I felt at seeing that smile. Ari pulling through gave me just enough hope that we would eventually run into Julien. Knowing him, I wouldn’t be surprised if he ran into us. We’d left a note in Virginia saying that we were headed south. With any luck, he would show up, I could end the husband charade, and then I’d be free to let down my guard with Tayler—a little. Beauty was one thing, but I didn’t know much about her.
Ari swatted in my direction with a limp hand. “Look, I understand why we have to do that, put on that whole ‘husband and wife’ act, but I’m not kissing you. I’d rather go get bit.”
I laughed. “Fuck off. I won’t go easy on you just because you were on the verge of death. You know that, right?”
She continued to snuggle Thandie, her laughter matching mine until the fleeting moment of joy gave way to concern.
“But she’ll be okay, right?” she asked. “You’ll be okay, right, sweet pea? Mommy missed you so much. She dreamed about you. In my dreams, you were crawling all over the place.”
“She hasn’t crawled yet, but she’s still rolling about,” I said. “By the way, are you hungry?”
“Not really. The other woman...Carolyn, I think she said her name was...brought me some water when I woke up.”
“You need to eat something. Don’t forget all the other times we didn’t have the option.”
Some of her playfulness disappeared.
She held Thandie tighter, as tight as she could, and slowly rocked, her eyes unfocused as she stared at the far wall. I knew what was on her mind. It had gone through my mind several times since the collapse. The difference was that I was thinking about more than Julien. I was thinking about how worse things would get. Technically, this was still the beginning.
“What about the rest of the guys?” she asked, as if reading my thoughts.
“Only a freak accident could take them out,” I reminded her. “And not even that could take out Giorgio.”
She huffed a laugh.
“But, for now, we’re staying in one place,” I added. “It’s safe here, and we don’t have the luxury of thinking ahead more than one day at a time. That doesn’t mean we’re giving up trying to find the kid.”
“Stop calling my husband ‘the kid,’ especially when he has a kid now.”
“No, don’t think I will.”
Her smile returned. “And what about the doctor?”
“What about her?”
“Hulk…want…smash.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Gage, I know you. You think she’s a right fine, sheila.”
“Said no Aussie ever.”
She snorted.
“And nothing can come of that,” I said, hoping my body was paying attention. “Me and you, we have our...facade, and she’s somehow attached to the head guy here. It’s not clear how, or where, they’re attached, but there’s something.”
“You can steal her from him.”
“And then do what with her? I’m married, remember? With a kid.”
“If you’re discreet, I don’t mind if you cheat.”
Laughing again, I eased up off the bed. “Let me go find her. I think you’re slipping back into delirium.”
I left the room and went searching for Tayler, and it was like I’d unloaded an elephant from my shoulders. Ari wasn’t exactly out of the woods, but Tayler had made it so she could see the edge of the forest.
I found the physician in question standing in the middle of a supply closet, her back partially facing me, looking through an assortment of vials. From where I stood, she didn’t look as if she was reading the labels; she looked as if she needed to keep her hands and mind occupied.
I empathized with her, though for a different reason. Personally, I needed to find a way to keep my hands occupied and away from her. Comfort was so rare now that I regretted taking it for granted when it was more readily available. A simple touch, a hug, a gentle stroke along my jaw from a fingertip—comfort was so rare that I regretted taking it for granted when it was more readily available.
I’d always seen relationships—virtually any companionship outside of family and close friends—as something I could worry about “later.” But later had arrived, and it didn’t look at all like trips overseas and torrid nights, our naked bodies soaked in sweat while making love in front of a roaring fire. It didn’t look like stops at flower shops and dinners at restaurants on the top floor of a historic building. Also, I’d used what I could buy to seduce a woman in the past. At the moment, I was reaching into a bag of tricks with a giant hole at the bottom.
“Ari’s ready,” I announced.
Tayler set down a vial and faced me. I tensed the muscles in my legs to keep myself planted. Even a couple of steps closer was hazardous territory. She’d mentioned other women in the camp being more “available.” Initially, I’d chalked it up to her making small talk. Now, I wondered whether I needed to see if someone else would be open to helping me quell whatever was surging my body toward boiling point.
“Does she seem like herself?” she asked. “Seem okay?”
“More than okay. She’s already teasing me, getting on my nerves.”
“Teasing you about what?”
“Being worried about her,” I lied.
I didn’t know what it was about this woman that made me want to be near her as badly as I did, but it was starting to drive me a little crazy. I’d encountered pretty faces in the last several months, but a few more days with Dr. Tayler would send me out of my mind.
I didn’t even want to make love to her. At least, not immediately. I wanted to touch her, have her touch me. I wanted her to run her fingers through my hair again like she did on the way back from the camper.
“I do have bad news,” I continued. “Not about Ari, though.”
Her shoulders stiffened. “Is it Thandie?”
“No. It’s me.”
“A fever?” She scanned me from the top down, assessing me the way she constantly claimed to be doing. When our eyes met again, I sensed a different emotion. “Please don’t tell me you were bitten.”
“I wasn’t.”
The stiffness in her shoulders disappeared. “Thank God. That’s not something I’d wish on anyone.”
“Was that your only reason for being worried?”
“Maybe. Why?”
I shook my head. “No reason.”
“Well, what’s your bad news?”
My thoughts answered first:
I’m not married.
I’m not a father.
I’m available.
And I want you.
“We’re planning to stay for a while,” I said.
“Why is that bad news? This camp is for survivors. The more we get, the stronger we can be.”
She walked up to me, stopped, and then passed me through the narrow doorway, her body brushing mine. For her, the contact was incidental; however, she wasn’t privy to all that had been plaguing me when it came to her. She had no idea that, to me, she was kindling.
I started after her, unsure of what I intended to do. But I stopped short when I noticed her leave Ari’s room, her head snapping around as if searching for something.
“She’s not in there,” she said.
My attention shifted.
Ari could barely walk, never mind disappear.
Tayler walked past me again, this time toward the back doors that led to the area where we’d had lunch. Something about the determination in her steps made me follow, but I went from trailing her to several paces ahead when I spotted Ari facing the fence—empty-handed.
Allen was crouched behind her, running his palms along her legs. Next to him, asleep in the fucking dirt, was Thandie.
Ari tried to fight him as best as she could, but it would be days before she regained her strength. Under our current circumstances, it could take weeks.
That wasn’t the case for me.
I scooped Thandie up with one hand and shoved Allen aside with the other, knocking him off balance and to the ground. He tried to scramble to his feet, but I pushed him back down. It wouldn’t matter how much he fought. I was the stronger one. When it came to the people I loved, I would never be anything but the stronger one.
“You don’t look at her,” I warned. “You don’t touch her.”
He tried to stand.
I sent him sprawling.
“Repeat after me, ‘I won’t touch her. I won’t look at her.’”
He coughed, spraying dirt into the air. “You’ve got to be out of your fucking mind.”
“Not yet, but if you touch Ari again, I’ll get there, and you don’t want me as an enemy.”
“Seriously, who the hell do you think you are?” He moved just out of the reach of my limbs before rising to his feet. “You just got here.”
“Don’t touch her, don’t look at her. Trust me, I’ll kill you. These two are the reason I keep going in this fucked up world, and nobody, especially not a fuckwit like you, is going to hurt them. You must be out of your fucking mind, putting your hands on her. You don’t know shit about me, and you decided to put your hands on my family?”
He flung a hand in Tayler’s direction. “You’re not acting like you have a family. You haven’t been here two days yet, and you’re all over my girlfriend.”
“You fucking wish,” I growled. “God, I would love to be all over Tayler.”
Ari snickered.
Allen looked in her direction.
“We’re swingers,” Ari said. “We’ve been looking for a third, and the doc here is gorgeous.”
I started to silence her with a glare—or attempt to—but then I caught Tayler looking from me to Ari, no doubt trying to put together the pieces of our strange ass relationship.
Allen, visibly deflated, shook his head and tossed up his hands. “Look, what the fuck ever. I won’t touch her, but the minute your wife’s stabilized, all three of you need to leave.”
Tayler’s confusion disappeared. “You don’t get to make that decision,” she said. “I’ve already told them they can stay.”
“You don’t get to make that decision,” he argued. “Look, if you keep stepping out of line, I might have to start enforcing some rules around here. You’re a doctor. That’s it. Take care of your patients, and I’ll take care of this camp.”
Ari snickered again. “How, by watching Gage? I mean, it’s not a bad idea. You’ll get to see what a real leader looks like.”
“Ari,” I snapped.
While I knew this was who she was, and I was more than grateful that she was returning to her “normal” self much quicker than expected, she wasn’t making the situation any better. Then, we weren’t yet in a position to break the facade, and as much as I wanted Tayler, Ari’s safety took precedence. One opening was all I needed, and I would make love to Tayler all over the camp, to the point that it would be impossible to hide.
“Allen,” Tayler pointed at the doors, “just let it rest. You’re in the wrong. Own up to this.”
“I’m in the wrong?” he hissed. “I was checking her for bites.”
“Which I already did. I’m the doctor, remember?”
He headed for the doors. “A failed fucking doctor.”
“What did you just say?” She grabbed his forearm. “No, don’t mumble. Speak from your diaphragm. I’m a what?”
“You heard me. You’re supposed to be a medical wunderkind, and yet, look at where we are.”
She tapped her chin. “Hmm, you’re right. We should have left everything up to you. Maybe you could have cured us from your cubicle.”
He dragged himself from her hold and stormed off.
A sheen caused the whites of her eyes to glisten, but I could tell from the set of her chin that neither me nor Ari would see those tears fall.
“Fuck him,” she said, her voice unsteady. “You can stay.”
She walked off, following Allen’s path.
I handed Thandie to Ari, lifted Ari off her feet, and carried them both inside. Rather than return to the hospital room, I took them upstairs to the room designated as ours until further notice.
“How long do you think it’ll take?” Ari asked as I set her on the bed.
I sat next to her. “How long will what take?”
“You going to check on Tayler.”
“You’re my priority right now, Ari. You and Thandie.”
“And we appreciate it. I will always appreciate you, Gage, but how many more chances do you think we’ll get to feel something good in a world like this? Even for a little while?”
“Ari, I can’t ask her out.”
“But you can ask her what’s wrong, what happened. Why that shitbag called her a failed doctor when clearly,” she motioned to herself, “it’s bullshit.”
“Recovery Ari has a potty mouth.”
“I’m your sister from another mother…and father. And we grew up in Australia.”
“Yeah, you’re right.”
“I know I am. I know you, Gage.”
“Okay, then, since you know me so well, my pest of a younger sister,” I began, “can you tell me why I’m so interested in her? I can’t figure it out. Do you know how many women we’ve come across since we started out? She’s the only one who’s…affecting me like this.”
It had to be the kindness she showed me and Thandie at the clinic. Possibly, it was the fact that she clearly knew her way around a firearm. I liked talking to her and thoroughly enjoyed the banter, and the way she treated Ari and Thandie was the cherry on top of the sundae I’d never eat again.
“For one, you’re dealing with some serious celibacy issues,” Ari said. “How long has it been now, about fifty or so years?”
“I can’t believe I missed you.”
She grinned. “I love you too, Gagey. Now, fate’s also a possibility. You know, for me, fate’s always a possibility. Then, the woman is very pretty. Imagine what she looked like when we had regular access to stuff like vitamins and nutrients.”
I chuckled.
She bumped my shoulder.
Our laughter died at the same time, leaving our bodies on a humming sigh.
“I miss him, Gage.”
I nodded, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “I know.”
“God…” Her head fell, and she kissed Thandie’s hair. “I miss him so much. Gage, what if Julien never gets a chance to meet her? We were so nervous about being parents for the first time. So nervous…”