60. Ozzy
SIXTY
ozzy
“You’ve been hiding from me.”
My whole body goes rigid at her voice.
The soft texture, the way it used to soothe my anxiety as a kid who knew nothing of a female’s vices and what they could do to turn you into doing the unthinkable.
Once upon a time, I believed myself to have feelings for a bright blonde-haired girl who gave me the attention I lacked since my parents passed away when I was eight.
She brought me sandwiches and sat with me at lunch.
She danced with me in eighth grade when Cairo dragged me to a school dance and softly kissed my cheek.
I bought her a handful of tulips once, yellow ones, with the roots still fully attached to the bottoms because they were her favorites and she was having a bad day.
I beat a kid up in ninth grade when he called her a slut and made all the kids in the hallway laugh at her. Later earning the nickname psycho because one minute I was fine, but when it came to her, I’d lost it.
But Vivian saw past all that.
She saw past a lot of things.
When I believed she was a safe haven, a small portion of the love I’d never had, I didn’t know she was setting me up to be her scapegoat.
Her killer.
“I didn’t know you got out of prison.” My eyes flick to the white French doors that lead outside, but they’re currently being blocked by a bunch of people mingling and talking nonsense. “I just want to talk.”
I can’t.
I don’t want to.
Cairo told me to stay away from her. Reeve advised me to punch her in the vagina if she ever dared step up and attempted to start a conversation with me. While Torin flat-out suggested stabbing her where she stood.
The latter would cause a lot of screams and blood, and while I wouldn’t mind that, I’m not sure I could bear seeing Vivian bleed by my hands.
“Ozzy…” A small hand lands on my bicep, and I flinch away, bumping into a table filled with food I can’t pronounce and margarita glasses in a tower for people to grab. “Don’t be like that.”
“Go,” I order, but it’s barely audible. It holds no power behind how much I want her to go and leave me alone.
She’s not supposed to be here, but she is.
“We need to talk.” She steps out in front of me, blocking my view of the exit and my need to move. Her olive-green eyes appear so sad and slightly lonely when she looks back at me. Her high cheekbones are still there, those slightly rosy cheeks I remember are hidden by makeup and heavy eyeliner. “I think there’s been a huge misunderstanding.”
I rock my head back and forth because there isn’t.
I didn’t understand it before, but I do now.
Especially after my brothers sat me down and explained to me that Vivian used me to kill the guy she had an affair with behind Cairo’s back so he wouldn’t talk. That she allowed me to take the fall and manipulated the situation because of how I felt for her.
It wasn’t like I would ever steal her from Cairo, I wouldn’t. My relationship with him superseded all else, but I cared deeply for Vivian. I enjoyed how she looked at me and smiled. I became fond of the way she’d hold my hand sometimes and tell me how special I was.
That there was no one in the world like me.
But then things became weird, and I felt as though I was betraying Cairo with the things she was doing. How she’d lean in and hover her lips over mine, taunting me to kiss her. How she spoke of a future as though I’d always be with her and Cairo.
Forever.
“You know I’d never have you do something and get you in trouble, right?” I don’t respond because I don’t know that. Cairo says she’s a liar. He wouldn’t tell me that just to tell me that. It’s why he’s not with her anymore, despite her efforts to change that. “I told you we’d go away together.”
“No.” The word isn’t hard to say at all. Things have changed, and the years in prison pried me away from her clutches.
Those days have to remain dead.
“They turned you against me,” she mutters, frowning with a flood of tears brimming around her eyes. “Cairo doesn’t understand. He wouldn’t listen to me, Oz. How much I love you and him.”
Like Bay.
I stare at her, observing the way she averts her gaze as if she can’t stand to talk about this any more than I want to listen to it. How downcast and hopeless she appears.
“I’ve tried for years,” she continues on. “Why would I do that if I did what I did? I would’ve just let it go and moved on.” She purses her red-painted lips together. “He replaced me…” Her eyes flick back to me. “With your wife. He won’t admit it out loud because he doesn’t want to hurt my feelings, but I’m frightened for him. I’m afraid she’ll get him killed.”
How?
He has me. And Reeve and Torin.
Nothing will happen to Cairo when he takes the Titan seat, and we’ll remain at his side to make sure things happen the way we’ve always wanted them to.
“Levi Wallace…he doesn’t like Cairo. He and Bay are going to team up and take him down.”
That’s not true.
“I know he’s your cousin,” she fills in. “I know you don’t have any family, and it feels nice…but he’s using you. Why would he allow Bay to marry you if he wasn’t planning on getting on the inside? It’d be stupid not to.”
“No.”
Vivian’s eyes tighten a tad. “Oz, I know you want to see the best in people.” She takes a step forward, seizing my next inhale. “You saw it in me. You agreed to always be at my side, didn’t you?”
I absentmindedly bob my head because I did.
And she promised to always take care of me.
“I’m following through with what I said. And I see a snake. I’m a female, too, Oz. The best way to get inside is?—”
“To keep lying your fucking ass inside,” Cairo leers, snatching my full attention to my right and easing some of my nerves with his presence. His dark brown eyes lock onto mine, and he jerks his head. “Go upstairs.”
“ Wait .” Vivian’s body bumps into mine. The smell of roses and honey filling my nose and the nostalgia that fills my head shoves me back in time.
She was the first thing I thought about in the morning and the last thing before I fell asleep. Her declarations of how a better and happier future were on the horizon, filled my world with hope and excitement that I’ve never felt before.
“You know how much I care about you,” she implores, clasping onto my wrist and squeezing it tight. “You know, Oz. Please tell me that you do.”
“Vivian,” Cairo leers darkly. “I swear to fuck, I will rip your arm off your body in the middle of this party if you don’t let him go.”
“He’s gonna keep us apart,” she whimpers, the pad of her thumb rubbing a soft trail up and down my arm, causing violent goosebumps to prick up my skin. “He won’t let me be around you, and I need to be. You don’t know what it’s been like?—”
“ Vivian .”
“I’ve tried to contact you, but they had me on a list at the prison you were staying at. I couldn’t contact you.”
“One more word out of you and you’re dead. I swear to God.”
“See what I’m dealing with,” she sobs, a tear hitting her cheek and falling aimlessly to the floor. “I can’t keep dealing with this. I’m so lonely.”
“Ozzy,” Cairo grinds out. “Upstairs.”
His hand appears between us, ripping her grip away, and I immediately take advantage of the reprieve.
It doesn’t take long for me to amble up the stairs and find a familiar bedroom that hasn’t been touched in forever.
It’s Rosalie’s.
Her loss is still felt across the board between us. It’s been years since she took her own life and used to pull my hair. She was the staple that made sure we stayed humble. Rosalie was firm with me about not being so soft or people were going to walk all over me. That, over time, I’d lose my power and stand behind everyone, never taking a stand and always being a doormat.
She was right.
Except now, I have no problem killing someone for hurting one of mine.
The pink comforter on her bed is the same one that lay there before she died. Even the posters on the wall, the dollhouse in the corner that’s still missing the small chimney because I broke it off when she pissed me off one night and called me a bitch.
That fire is gone—unless provoked.
And even then…
My chest tightens as I continue to look around the room. So many good memories are lost. A plethora of watching Rosalie and Reeve fight or just tease each other.
They were close.
He loved her so much, and then his mother made him do awful things to her. I envy how happy-go-lucky he is through all his pain and darkness. How he was able to bottle it up and shove it to the side and not allow it to run him.
I didn’t adopt that.
Maybe because my sister, Ellie, was so much younger than me and we never had a history together that I could make memories with. When Rosalie committed suicide, the anguish was too great to bear, and that’s when I fell upon Vivian and her affection.
Affection.
I’m not sure if that’s the right word to use. Vivian isn’t wrong when she said Cairo would keep her away because he’s tried his best through the years. He warned me about what she may do and how speaking to her may make me slightly confused.
I am.
Seeing her is home—well, was home until I was sentenced to prison. Having her visit me was something I looked forward to, and I felt special that she went out of her way to do so.
We’ve never got to talk about what happened. Yet, my brothers have communicated all too well it wasn’t because she wanted to look after me.
“Hey, Oz.” My spoken name gets me to whip around, finding Bay frozen in the doorframe.
I don’t know how long I’ve been in here. I can’t get out of my own head and the possibilities of what’s right and wrong. I’m scared I’m never going to be able to make that judgment on my own.
“You good?” Her voice is tender and quiet, contrasting against those loud sky-blue eyes that only scream her worry and trepidation for being here.
If I want her here.
Her inky black hair isn’t the only thing that’s strikingly different from Vivian. It’s the fact she keeps her space between us. That she never tells me what to do, but what she’s not going to do.
She’s scrappy and smart, and so beautiful.
It’s almost unreal how pretty she is. How does someone like her exist in reality? It makes warning bells ring in my head and makes me cautious of her at all times.
Even though, when I wasn’t someone in her life, she was still the same. Nothing has changed.
Bay takes two steps into the room before slowly descending to the floor and onto her knees. She’s careful to keep herself covered in the tight dress that sparkles under the light, and peers up at me as if she’s expecting something.
An answer.
It doesn’t come easy or at all.
I can’t extract my focus from her because she’s quickly becoming a grounding spot for my heart to beat at a steadier rhythm and my lungs to accept air.
We linger in silence together, as if it’s nothing at all. A mixture of unease fills my chest a bit, but I still welcome her.
And I don’t want her to leave this room.
I’d rather her be here than be alone.
Bay raises her hand, palm extended at me for me to come closer and mimic her actions. I hesitate, not really wanting to move, but it seems to please her, and I like to see her features soften when our skin touches.
It seems as though it’s something she desperately needs as much as I need to protect her.
Ambling forward, I stop within two feet and lower myself to the gray carpet and steadily raise my palm to hers.
Bay continues to look at me with those blues as the smooth touch of her skin makes me flinch.
She’s quick to drop her hand, and mindlessly, I wrap my fingers around hers and release them just as quickly in surprise that I had done that.
That I had purposely touched her without thought or stalling.
Bay raises her palm again as I attempt to get my mind straight. Closing the distance again as my fingers glide flush against hers.
A shudder shoots up my upper body as I demand myself to keep my hand where it is.
Against hers and not to detach away.
“You look as though you saw a ghost,” Bay mutters gently, and I welcome her distraction immensely.
I don’t want to fuck this up.
I don’t want her to get upset that I can’t do one simple thing and touch her. That I’m weak and so messed up that a simple brush of skin freaks me the fuck out.
“What do you need?” she solicits. “Do you want to go home?”
I do, but not right now.
I’m good with where I am.
How, even though my hand trembles a little, I like Bay’s skin against mine for longer than a split second.
“I’m never going to be her.” Bay’s lips are set in a flat line as if she’s mad. “I saw her and…whatever the hell she did, you stop me before I do it, okay?” Her hand presses a little more firmly into mine to get her point across. “Do you understand me?”
I give her a curt nod, and a small smile graces Bay’s face. I expect her to drop her arm, but she doesn’t.
Not until I do.
Maybe she feels the same way I do. Maybe that slight electrical current runs through her veins, and she’s intrigued by me.
I don’t give her much to go by. So maybe that’s what sparks her curiosity.
“This party sucks.”
A small smile tugs at my lips, but I keep it down. Elaine was always into overly extravagant bullshit, so this is no surprise.
“How about pizza and a movie?”
I stare at her because she’s never really invited me over. I just show up.
“I’d kill her for you,” she says out of nowhere. “Just say the word.”
My brows clash together, and when I want more answers, Torin comes busting through the room like a bat out of hell.
“Oz, we need you. Now .”