Chapter 35 Kashton
THIRTY-FIVE
KASHTON
It has to be after midnight by the time I bring my bike to a stop in the circle drive and run up the stairs. I went to Eve’s house, and she wasn’t there. I tracked her phone, and it told me she was here.
Why the fuck would she be at Carnage? Have my brothers taken her in and thrown her in a cell? If so, why didn’t they fucking call me?
I’ve called them and neither one answered me. Eve’s cell is turned on Do Not Disturb, so every call goes unanswered, but I’m still able to track her.
As I rush through the door, Jessie spots me. “Sir—”
“Is Eve here?” I interrupt him in a panic.
“Yes. I parked her car in the garage.”
“Where the fuck is she?” I snap. If my brothers kidnapped her, why would they bring her car?
He frowns. “Miss Sinclair is in your room…”
I run to the elevator and enter my room in a hurry to see the bed unmade, the TV on, and her bag on the round table by the French doors that lead out to the balcony.
The bathroom door is slightly open, and I can see the light on.
I enter to find her in my bathtub, her head back on the porcelain, eyes closed, hair up in a messy bun and the tub filled with bubbles while “Sorry” by Halsey plays softly from her cell.
I pick up her phone, turn it off, and place it on the counter before turning back to her in the tub.
“Eve?” I ask and her eyes pop open. “Everything okay?” This is either a good sign or something bad has happened to her.
My mind instantly goes to Evan, and I scan her face, neck, and shoulders to look for bruises but don’t see any.
I’ve got cameras on her house so I can see when she’s coming and going, and I haven’t seen him there.
She slowly sits up, the water sloshing around, and her eyes meet mine. “I hope it’s okay that I came over.”
“Of course.” I let out a deep breath to see that she’s not injured. She’s always welcome here. Anywhere I am, for that matter.
She runs her hand through the bubbles, dropping her gaze. “Thank you.”
“May I join you?” I ask.
She nods, and I quickly get undressed and sink into the hot water, hissing in a breath as I sit facing her. I look over her makeup-free face. Her eyes are sad, her face worried.
I wanted to go for a ride. To try and free my mind, but it was on her the entire time. What she’s seen. What she’s been through. I wish I could help her, but she’s not going to let me in easily.
“Talk to me,” I urge. She needs to know I’m here for her. That she can tell me anything. My hands run up and down her legs under the water as I let her gather her thoughts and decide what she wants me to know.
“I’ve been thinking about what you said the other night after the meeting at Blackout… Evan didn’t fuck me.”
“That you know of or that you remember?”
She frowns, tilting her head to the side at my question.
After how I’ve seen her react to things and what I’ve been told, I feel like there are times of her life that are missing.
That she either chose to block out or just can’t remember.
I’ve seen her dissociate and I’ve witnessed how she feels afterward.
“I…” She licks her lips. “I know for a fact that we’ve never had sex.”
“How?” I push.
She pulls away and rests her back against the tub, looking up at the ceiling. My eyes drop to her delicate neck, and she swallows before she says, “He just wouldn’t.”
I run a wet hand through my hair. I’ve seen it before. Even those outside of the Lords’ world will rape members of their families. Sex is sex to them. Blood relation doesn’t matter. In most cases, it’s about power. To keep the bloodline going. “You can’t be sure, Eve…”
She sits up and takes my hands in hers. Big green eyes search mine, and I’ve never seen her look more unsure when she says, “It didn’t happen.”
The way her voice softens tells me she’s convincing herself more than me. Maybe the thought of a half brother raping her is too much for her to accept. Maybe I’m the one who has put that thought in her head and now she can’t get past it.
“I believe you,” I tell her, hoping she doesn’t hear the lie. She has no clue what happened to her. And honestly, I hope it stays that way.
She leans forward, and her soft lips gently touch mine. It’s a test to see how I feel about her. If I’m still in love with her.
I slide my hand around the back of her neck, holding her in place, and her lips part for me to deepen the kiss. I take advantage of it, wanting to taste her. It’s only been two days, but I’ve missed her like crazy.
Pulling away, I run my knuckles over her racing pulse, and her lashes slowly open. “Marry me.”
She bursts into laughter, and the sound makes me smile. There’s the woman I’ve fallen in love with. I will hand her a gun and a stapler. She can patch me up after she shoots me.
“I’m serious.” I take her bubble-covered hands in mine.
“Kash—”
“We can elope and be married by tomorrow morning.” One call, and the private jet will be fueled and ready to go within the hour.
“The Lords would never allow it.”
She didn’t say no. “They can’t stop us.”
“But they can punish you,” she whispers.
I let go of her hands and place mine on her face. “Don’t worry about me, angel. I spent six months in training; I can take whatever punishment they throw my way.” It wouldn’t matter, as long as I got to be her husband.
“They’ll take what you love the most,” she says.
Her. “I’ll build you a castle. One with a moat.”
She laughs again, softer this time.
“I’m serious. I’ve always wanted to own alligators. We’ll get seven and name them after the days of the week. And we’ll feed them nothing but human remains from Carnage prisoners. I can protect you, Eve. I promise.”
Lowering her gaze to the bubbles, she sighs. “You’re not untouchable, Kashton.” She looks up at me through her lashes. “Your family isn’t untouchable. This isn’t a game that we can win.”
“I won’t let us lose,” I promise her. Placing my hands on her face, I bring her to me and gently kiss her lips again, needing more.
EVERETT
I want to remember this moment. How good it feels to know for this second that I’m safe. That what woke me up back at my house was just a nightmare. It might have happened in the past, but that’s over. This is now. This is my future. Even if it’s for a short time.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
He frowns, wondering why I’m sorry; but honestly, it’s a long list. “You don’t have to apologize to me, Eve. Ever. Okay?”
But I do. When he finds out who I really am, he will run as far away from me as he can. He’ll realize how broken I truly am and that I’m not worth it.
His knuckles run down my chest, over my stomach, and softly touch my hip. I flinch when they linger on my butterfly tattoo. I know he wants to ask about it. He saw the marks on me that night on the Isabella.
I just can’t seem to say the words. To tell him what I’ve been through.
I’m ashamed of who I allowed them to turn me into.
The me Kashton knows now isn’t who I was.
And if I tell him anything about my past, he’ll see me differently.
He won’t want me anymore. I can’t take that chance. I’m not ready to let him go.
We finish up in the bathtub and dry off before crawling into his bed.
“Why is the TV on?” I ask softly.
“I can’t sleep without it,” he answers with a yawn.
“I can’t sleep without music playing,” I tell him.
He shifts to roll over and grab his phone. “I can turn on some music—”
“No,” I interrupt him, placing my hand on his chest to stop him. “I just meant I can’t sleep without some sort of noise either.” When a person’s forced to live in silence, they begin to crave chaos. Their mind needs something to distract them, otherwise they’ll go crazy.
He rolls back and gently kisses my forehead. “I’m right here, Eve, and I’ll be here when you wake up.”
I snuggle into him, and he turns onto his side. I place my leg over his hip, and he slides his hand under the covers to grip my bruised thigh, holding it in place.
I crave his touch between my legs, so I move my hips back and forth.
He opens his eyes, and I search them as my hand runs over the back of his head, feeling his soft hair.
I want to be his wife, but I’ll never tell him that. Because it’s not fair to him. He deserves a woman he can be proud of. Who can give him a family. I’m not that woman.
“Horny, angel?” he asks as his tatted hand runs up my thigh and dips between my legs.
I moan when he gently plays with my pussy. Teasing me. “Yes.” He hasn’t touched me since he played with me a couple of days before the reception. I had a little meltdown afterward, but I’ve wanted him ever since.
“Want me to fuck you until you fall asleep?”
“Please,” I beg.
The corner of his lips turn up slightly. He repositions his hand and starts to finger me. My breathing picks up when he slides two into me. It’s crazy how often my body begs for him.
A part of me questions if it’s natural or because of my past. Would I be this way with another man? No. I trust Kashton. He’s not like the others. I’ve never felt safer in my life, and that alone should terrify me.
Kash removes his fingers and I pout. He chuckles, getting out of bed, and I wait impatiently while he goes back into the bathroom to his closet. When he returns, he commands, “Stand up.”
I can’t get to my feet fast enough. I have no shame in wanting to be his toy tonight.
“Bend over the bed. Hands behind your back.”
Kneeling next to his bed, I place my stomach and chest on the mattress with my arms crossed behind my back.
I bite my inner cheek to keep from moaning when I hear the metal clanking before he places my wrists in the unforgiving handcuffs. My body loves the sting. It has been trained to crave pain. It’s why I’ve never let anyone touch me. Until now.
How far will I let him go? The answer is as far as he wants because I know he’ll make it feel good.
“Spread your legs.” His hand slaps my ass, and I yelp at the sting.
Doing as he says, I spread my knees as much as I can in the awkward position.