Chapter 49 Kashton #2
It’s not a warm day, but it’s also not cold. I’m wearing one of his hoodies while drinking a bottle of water. I’m craving a fucking drink. Jessie keeps me fed, and Kash—well, he hasn’t left my side.
He’s hovering, and it’s obvious he doesn’t trust me. He made that very clear when he had Devin knock me out to stitch up my leg for the second time.
We haven’t fucked. He hasn’t even touched me, really. He gives me baths but doesn’t join me. We sleep in the same bed, but he doesn’t make any advances.
I’ve either scared him, or he no longer finds me attractive. I’ve become the useless trash that no one wants. Not someone like him anyway. Just the ones who pay to fuck you when they’re in the mood.
I wish he’d just kick me out of Carnage. Send me away. That would be easier to accept than this.
He’s also fighting with Haidyn. I’ve heard their hushed conversations in the hallway while they think I’m asleep. Haidyn wants me on medication. He thinks I’m suicidal. I was at one point, but I don’t want to die today.
I refuse to take medication. It’s why I don’t do drugs. They would probably make things easier. Help blur the memories. But that’s what the Lords did to me at Dollhouse, which is why I refuse to take anything. For so long, I’ve tried to convince myself I’m not the same woman, but maybe I am.
Kashton thinks I’m broken. Haidyn thinks I’m a danger to myself. I think I’m fine. We can’t all three be wrong. Someone has to be right. The question is, which one of us is it?
“I have to leave, Eve,” Kashton announces, stepping out onto his balcony.
I look up at him. “Where are you going?” Finally.
I’ll get a second to breathe. Think for myself.
He places my food orders with Jessie, and he decides when he bathes me.
Kash also brushes my hair. The only thing I do myself is brush my teeth and wipe my own ass. I’ve allowed him to take over my life.
He sits across from me, and I look away from him to focus on the woods.
His stare is too intense. He’s always looking for something, and I don’t want to give him a reason to think he’s found whatever it is.
If Haidyn can ever convince Kashton to join his side, I’m fucked.
As much as I hate that he knows the real me, I’ve grown accustomed to being with him.
To knowing what it’s like to not be alone and forgotten. Even if it is tied to a bed.
“We’ll only be gone a couple of hours,” he assures me but ignores my question. It also tells me he’s going with his brothers. “If you need anything, Devin is here, and Jessie will be by to check on you.”
“Okay.” I nod.
He stands, leans over, and kisses my forehead before he steps back into his room.
I sit silently until I hear his bedroom door shut and lock. Getting up, I go to my nightstand. My phone is charging. I let it die days ago. Who the fuck do I need to talk to?
Ashtyn added me to the girls’ group chat. I know it was to just piss me off. Blakely and Elli kept posting pictures of the babies, and everyone is planning Laikyn’s baby shower.
I just couldn’t handle it. But since Kashton is gone, I might as well see what I’ve missed.
Turning it on, my cell beeps, and I see an incoming text. It’s a name and a number.
Adam came through with a job. He doesn’t see me as weak. Or damaged. He knows what I need and is willing to give it to me. Adam doesn’t hover around me when I’m working.
I bite my bottom lip as I read over it. It’s for tonight. A couple of hours from now.
Deciding that’s what I need—to get out, to feel like the old me—I quickly throw my hair in a high pony, brush my teeth, slap on bare minimum makeup, and get dressed. What’s Kashton going to do? Punish me? He won’t even fuck me.
The most he’ll do is tie me to the bed while I throw a fit. Possibly sedate me.
I’m not one of those women who is going to quit her job for a man. I have things I have to do, and I’ve been slacking by letting him coddle me like I’m a sick child needing care.
I’m ready in twenty minutes and walk right out the front door. I’m not a prisoner here. He said we, so that means Haidyn and Saint are with him, and I’m not even sure the girls are here. They get to come and go as they please, so why can’t I? I didn’t see Jessie or Devin, so it was easy to leave.
I send a quick text to make sure my date will be there, and my cell rings through the speakers in my car as I pull out of the gates of Carnage.
Kashton lights up the screen on my dash.
I debate answering it, but I feel good at the moment. More like myself than I have since they returned from Dollhouse. “Hello, baby.” I’ve never used a pet name before, but it just feels right in a good, condescending way.
“Eve,” he growls in warning.
“Yes?” I ask innocently, quickly checking the rearview mirror to make sure he’s not on my ass.
“Where the fuck are you going?” he snaps.
Of course the bastard has a tracker on me. It’s either on my cell or my car. He might have had Devin insert one into my body when he sedated me. “I’m just running out for a minute. I’ll be back soon.”
“Return home. Now.”
Home? Has Carnage become my home? I hate to admit that it has. I’m not sure how to feel about that, but I’m not going to let it sour my good mood. “I will be back later.”
“Fucking now, Eve,” he shouts.
I don’t know why, but I like this side of him. I’m not the kind of girl to obey. He’ll have to make me, but I still like it. “Can’t do that.” I smile.
Fuck, freedom feels good. The air blowing in from my cracked windows, the ability to drive wherever.
We’ve both been on eggshells for the past week.
He stares at me like I’m broken. He watched one of my training videos, and it’s no longer the same.
He doesn’t know what to do or how to act.
Why doesn’t he just kick me out and tell me goodbye?
I was fucking spiraling while I was trapped in his room, and now I feel better.
“I’m not running, Kash,” I assure him. “I’ll be back—”
“Turn around,” he barks. “Now.”
My teeth grind and my mood starts to fade. I shift in my seat. “No.”
“I’ve gone too easy on you.” He huffs.
My laughter fills the car, that careless attitude returning quickly. “Too easy on me? That’s a joke, right?” I bait him. All I’ve done the past week is rot away in his room while he coddled me.
“Everett, if you don’t turn around right fucking now, I will hunt you down, strip you naked, and chain you up in the basement.”
“Don’t threaten me with a good time,” I quip.
He takes in a calming breath, and I tighten my thighs, images rising of his gorgeous face while he has me gagged and unable to beg him to come. I need him to fuck me.
“I promise you, Eve, you’ll have anything but a ‘good time.’”
I feel like he’s recently had another conversation with Haidyn about me, and I don’t like it. Maybe I won’t return tonight after all. I’m about to tell him to go fuck himself when I get a text. I glance at it quickly.
See you soon, gorgeous.
I smile at myself and tell Kashton, “Do what you have to do, Kash.”
“Eve—”
I hang up on him.
I’m walking into the biker bar, glancing around to make sure Kashton didn’t somehow beat me here. It’s packed for this time of night. The petite brunette is working behind the bar, and she smiles when she sees me.
“I’ll take a vodka tonic,” I tell her.
“Okay.” Walking away, I watch her get it ready, and she comes back to set it in front of me.
I place a twenty down and see a guy enter.
I give him my flirtatious I want you to fuck me smile.
I’m not in the mood for small talk or role play.
I have to get the job done before Kashton shows up.
Maybe if I can beat him back, he won’t lock me in a cell.
I don’t know, though. That sounds fun. I haven’t been touched in a week.
Right now, I’d take anything he wants to give me.
Maybe that’s why he doesn’t want to fuck me.
Because he knows the reason as to why I like to be fucked. Why I get so desperate for him.
I flinch at that thought and quickly push it out of my mind.
I don’t even take a sip of my drink before I’m leading the guy over to my motel room.
I allow him to open the door for me, and I step inside. He shuts the door and then removes his jacket before placing it on the bed.
Reaching into my purse, I pull out my gun and fire, shooting him right in the head. “Disgusting bastard,” I spit out.
The sound of Kashton’s car pulling into the parking spot in front of the motel room has a smile growing across my face. “Let’s see what you got, big boy.”