Chapter 53 Everett
FIFTY-THREE
EVERETT
Ifeel drowsy. High on drugs. The kind they fed me at Dollhouse.
Everything hurts and my skin itches. To the point it burns. It’s the cuts. The feeling has returned. I liked it better when I was numb.
I groan, hoping the drugs take me under once again. I can’t handle any more of this. Maybe someone will cut me deep enough that I’ll bleed to death. That’s the thing about the Lords; they know enough about the body to hurt you but keep you alive.
“Eve?”
I hear Kashton’s voice. The soft and sweet one that I loved so much. It’s a trap. My mind is playing tricks on me.
“Eve, wake up.”
No. I want to stay here. In this drug-induced high where he loves me. Where he didn’t turn my body over in hopes of getting something he wants.
“Come on, Eve. Open your eyes. Look at me.” He sounds desperate. Scared, almost. It’s just another lie. A way to humiliate me.
“Please…no.” My voice cracks. At least the damn rag is gone. Now I can breathe a little easier.
“You’re okay. I’m right here with you.”
I hate you, I want to say, but the words don’t come out because it’s not him I really hate. It’s me. He just showed me who he really is—like every other man in my life. I was the dumb one to believe he would be any different.
A hand touches my face, and my eyes open. It takes a second for them to focus, but when they do, I see his face inches from mine—and he’s smiling.
Panic bubbles up, and I scream. He pulls back, and I scramble away, falling onto the floor, and push my back against a wall.
A sob of relief escapes now that I can fight back.
I’ve got some kind of chance. The rope is gone, my arms are free, and I can speak.
I’m weak, but I’ll fight until there’s nothing left.
I just need a weapon. My hands frantically touch my neck to see that it’s also free.
“Everett. It’s me, Kash—”
“Stay away from me.” I reach out and grab the nearest thing, which is a blanket, and cover my naked body up. It’ll give me some time to look for something to use.
He holds both hands up and sighs. “I’m sorry, angel. I’m so sorry—”
“Fuck you!” I shout, pulling my knees to my chest. “I hate you.” My lips start to tremble. “Stay away from me. Stay away from me, you sick bastard.”
KASHTON
My chest aches seeing her like this. I’ve officially broken her. I got the girl, but at what cost? Her sanity? No. I don’t accept that. She’s stronger than that.
My love for her hasn’t changed. If anything, I love her even more now. It’ll just take some time to get her back. “It’s over, Eve. It’s over, and you did so good.”
She whimpers, pulling her arms tighter around herself.
“I’m so proud of you.” It’s probably the first time she’s ever heard those words in a nonsexual way.
Shaking her head, she cries softly, holding on to herself.
I look over her disheveled hair and tear-streaked face.
She didn’t look this defeated after Evan attacked her in her home.
I’ve done this to her. She trusted me and I hurt her.
With Evan, she knew what she was getting, knew she couldn’t trust him.
I’m supposed to be her protector, her Lord, and I had to treat her like every other bastard in her life.
I have to prove to her that I’m not who she now sees me as. “Would you like a water?”
Eve nods and I back out of the room and down the hallway to grab one out of the fridge.
Walking back into the room, my jaw clenches when she trembles at the sight of me. I only have myself to blame. I sit down on the floor, keeping a safe distance away. I don’t want to scare her more than she already is. “I’ll roll it to you. Okay?”
She nods once more.
Rolling the bottle across the floor, it stops when it hits the wall she’s got herself plastered to. Her watery eyes stare down at it for a second. “It’s okay, Eve,” I assure her.
“Did…did you drug it?” she asks and her teeth chatter.
I frown at her question. “No. It’s brand new. The seal hasn’t even been broken.”
With shaking hands, she unscrews the lid and spills the water as she turns it up and drinks.
I sigh in relief. Baby steps. She gasps in a breath, pulling it away.
“Talk to me, Eve.” I need to keep her mind here with me.
“Where are we?” she whispers, scanning the disheveled bed and door behind me. She’s not familiar with this room.
“Blackout. We’re in Tyson’s apartment.”
She frowns, not remembering leaving Dollhouse. She was unconscious when I carried her out of there.
“How…how long have we been here?”
“Two days. You needed time to recover.”
She flinches at my words, and I fucking hate how she won’t let me near her. I just want to pull her into my arms and hold her. Tell her how much I love her. She did it. She beat them. Just like I knew she would. I’m so fucking proud of her.
“Talk to me, Eve. How do you feel?” Silence isn’t good for her.
She’ll fall back into her own mind, and that is a hell I need to keep her out of.
I’ve never hated the Lords more than I do now.
They knew she was doing better, had moved on, and they wanted to send her back.
Trap her inside her own mind. It’s the one thing we can’t escape. I know. I’ve been there.
“I want you to leave,” she whispers, unable to make eye contact.
Never. “I can’t do that.”
She sniffs and closes her eyes tightly. Still whispering, she says, “I thought you loved me.”
My chest tightens, and I scoot closer to her. “I do, angel. I love you so much.” I’m going to spend the rest of my life proving it to her.
She shakes her head, refusing to believe me. “You don’t hurt someone you love.”
Sometimes you have to hurt the one you love comes to mind. “I’ll never hurt you again,” I promise her.
“But you did…” Tears fall from her pretty eyes. “That’s not love.”
“It’s not what you think.”
Her glare snaps to mine and there’s the glimpse of that fire that I fell in love with. A piece of the anger this gorgeous blonde showed me that night in the cemetery. I already knew then that I was going to marry her. Maybe she’s not as far away as I thought.
“Not what I think?” she repeats softly. “You drugged me.”
I didn’t have a choice when I chased her in the woods outside of the motel. It was the only way I could get her to Dollhouse. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”
Her face tightens. “But you did.” I can see her body trembling under the blanket. “You let them rape me.” I run my hands through my hair at her words, wanting to hold her. “You let them cut me.”
I look away, swallowing the knot in my throat at what she remembers. When my eyes meet hers once again, they’re swimming in fresh tears. “Angel…”
“Don’t call me that,” she screams. Lowering her voice, she drops her gaze to the floor. “You stood there and watched while I begged them to kill me.” She’s trembling, pushed up against the wall, trying to make herself small. Needing to get as far away from me as possible.
I won’t let her do this to herself. She didn’t come this far to give up. My girl wants to fight.
I stand, and her eyes go wide with panic. “Nooo. Don’t you dare. Stay away from me.” She throws the water bottle at me, and I duck, hearing it hit the floor behind me.
Walking over to her, she begins to scream. I pull the blanket off her, and she tries to crawl away, but I grab her arm and yank her to her feet. She kicks and screams while I drag her to the bathroom. I shove the door closed with my boot so she can’t get away.
I position myself behind her and grab a handful of her matted hair, forcing her to face the mirror. “Look at yourself,” I command.
“No,” she sobs, eyes tightly shut. “Just stop…please. Stop.” Her body thrashes against mine as she shoves herself away from the counter.
“Open your eyes,” I shout, needing a reaction from her. One that helps her see what I see.
Her eyes open, and she stops screaming when she looks at her reflection in front of us.
I let out a long breath and soften my voice. “Look at yourself, Eve. All of you.”
“What?” She breathes. “I don’t understand.” Frantically groping at her naked body, she works to comprehend what she thinks she knows and what she sees. “You said we’ve only been here for two days.”
“We have.” I undo her tangled hair from my fist.
She turns to face me and looks over her shoulder at her back. “Where were we before we came here?”
“Dollhouse.”
Her watery eyes glance up at me. “But you…” She looks down at her arms and hands. “You let them… I was bleeding.”
“It was a hallucination, Eve.”
She bows her head, and all you can hear is both of us trying to catch our breath. After a moment, she says, “No.” Her eyes meet mine and fresh tears fill them. “No. It was real.”
“It wasn’t,” I assure her.
“I don’t understand.” She wraps her arms around herself.
“I had to make you think it was real,” I say honestly, and she sniffs. “I had to threaten you, chase you from the motel, sedate you in the woods. I had to plant doubt in your mind, Eve. I had to make you think I was going to hurt you, knowing that I was taking you to Dollhouse.”
“What happened when we got there?”
Sin and I silently follow Bill through Dollhouse. He comes to a door and holds it open for us to enter.
Stepping inside, I take in the cold, sterile room. Reminds me of a hospital, but it’s nothing like that. There’s an elevated metal table in the center. Restraints hang over both sides from one end to the other.
It makes me wonder if she’s been here before, in this very room, back when she was a doll. If so, what did they do to her?
“Place her on the table,” Bill orders.
I lay her down, and she shifts onto her side, curling into a ball. I have to readjust her because it’s not wide enough. She’s going to roll right off the side. “Kash-ton?” she whispers, her voice rough with sleep.
“Strip her down first. Everything but her underwear and bra.” Bill speaks as he keeps his back to me and Sin.