Chapter 58
FIFTY-EIGHT
KASHTON
She’s in the restroom when I step out on the balcony in the living room and dial up a number. He answers on the second ring.
“Hey, man, what’s up?”
“I need a favor.” I cut to the chase.
We don’t have a lot of time. Adam sent me the information for his jet, but I have to decide where it takes us. I finally turned my cell back on now that I’ve seen Haidyn and Saint. They won’t be blowing me up right now. They’ll be busy helping Adam, and they know I’m going to be hiding.
“Anything,” he states.
“I need a place to stay. Eve and I need to get out of Pennsylvania. Now. Still have your summer home?” The Lord has property all over the place.
“Yep. You’re more than welcome to stay there,” he offers without thought. “I’m actually in Las Vegas right now.”
I frown. “You’re still in Vegas?”
“Yes. Well…no. I was home but returned yesterday.” He doesn’t offer up any reason as to why, and I don’t pry.
“Thanks for letting us stay. It should only be a day or two.”
“Stay as long as you like. I’ll let the staff know you’re coming and to help you with whatever you need.”
We hang up just as my wife enters the living room. I exit the balcony, shut the sliding glass door, and walk over to her. “Ready?”
She nods, looking around aimlessly.
“Eve?” I say sternly and her green eyes find mine. “Ready to leave, angel?” I soften my voice.
“Yes, I’m ready,” she answers.
I send a quick text and then take her hand, pulling her out the door.
The flight alone isn’t quite two hours. We could have driven, but instead we chose to fly.
I didn’t want to use Adam’s plane since he can still track us with it, and I’d like to go under the radar as much as possible.
I don’t put it past Haidyn to threaten to kill Adam if he doesn’t reveal where we’re at.
I pull up to the tarmac and come to a stop. I get out and open Eve’s door. Taking her hand, we walk up and onto the waiting jet.
“Good afternoon, Mr. and Mrs. Pierce.” The flight attendant greets me and then nods at Eve.
I guide Eve over to the couch and sit down next to her.
“May I get you two something before takeoff?”
“No thank you,” Eve answers softly.
“I’m good. Thank you.” Turning to my wife, I see she’s got her chin up, head held high. “Angel.” I cup her cheek and turn her to face me.
Placing her hand on my chest, she leans into me and parts her lips. I kiss her, sliding my hand into her hair, and she shifts on the seat to turn her body more toward me.
Fuck, I’m so horny. I want to strip her naked and bury my face between her thighs right now. I need to taste her. Hear her scream my name in pleasure and not in pain.
“Starting the honeymoon early?”
She pulls away at the sound of a visitor, and I look up to see Sin. “Hey, man.” I stand and pull him in for a handshake hug. Slapping his back, I say, “What are you doing here?”
“You’re getting married. Someone has to be your best man.”
I chuckle. “Thanks for letting us borrow your jet.”
He shrugs. “Anytime.”
“You didn’t have to come,” I add, wondering why he isn’t at home with Elli and the kids. He looks more awake now than he was an hour ago at Blackout.
He smiles and pulls his cell out of his pocket. “Elli is spending the day with my mom. I’m going to fly back tonight.” His cell rings and his smile widens. Patting my shoulder, he walks toward the back bedroom, answering his video call. “There are my girls…where’s my boy?”
“He’s still sleeping,” Elli answers before he shuts the bedroom door.
EVERETT
We landed in New York two hours ago. A car was sent to pick us up, and we were taken to a house in the Hamptons. A nice older man gave us a tour of the grounds and showed us our bedroom. I tried to act interested, and any other time, I would have been, but Kashton could tell I was distracted.
I’m married.
I’m nervous. I hate how much I doubt myself. How weak I’ve made myself look over the past month. That isn’t who I want to be.
Kashton’s Lady? Absolutely.
The woman who jumps when her husband touches her? No.
That’s not who he fell in love with. I’ve gone from broken to psycho to pathetic over the course of my lifetime. How do I get back to the woman I want to be?
I’m standing in the bathroom, finishing up my makeup while my phone sits on the counter. “Never Leave” by Seether fills the room to help take my mind off everything. I need noise. Silence makes me uncomfortable. I need something louder than my own thoughts.
He rushes into my room, like always, and I sit on the bed. “Get up,” Cyrus orders.
I stay where I’m at, my arms crossed over my naked chest. I’ve been free to roam my room for the past few days, but I knew it was too good to be true. No ropes, no chains, no visitors. It’s been heavenly.
“Fucking bitch.” He comes to the bed, grabs my ankle, and yanks me off.
I try to get a hold of the comforter, but I’m too slow, and before I know it, I’ve landed face down on the floor. “Get off me,” I shout, trying to roll over. It’s easier to fight face to face.
He grips my hair, yanks my head back, and then slams it into the floor. The first time, I see stars; the second time, I taste blood; and the third, I’m gasping to breathe as the pain sets in.
Grabbing my arms, he brings them behind my back and ties them in place. He wants an easy fuck. He’s never into the fight.
“You’re a whore, Eve. Born for one thing and one thing only.
” He huffs and unzips his jeans. “If you can’t give us what we want…
well, then you’re worthless. And you know what we do with worthless whores?
” His chuckle fills my room as his knees shove mine open, forcing my ass up in the air. “We sell them off.”
Blinking, I see a set of blue eyes in the bathroom mirror, and I turn to face Kashton.
He’s not his father. Kashton is as good of a Lord as I’ll find. He has feelings and he cares about the ones he loves.
My chest hurts. I feel like I’m robbing him of a future. I’m in love with this man, but it’s going to cost him everything to love me. I won’t do that to him.
He slides his tatted hands into the pockets of his dress slacks.
The man is gorgeous. He’s got his dark hair slicked back and is dressed in an all-black tux. He looks mouthwateringly good. His blue eyes roam my body, looking over the white silk robe I’m wearing. I’ve done my hair and makeup, but I haven’t gotten dressed yet.
My heart races at what he expects from me. The life that he deserves to have. “I saw you that night,” I tell him.
His gaze meets mine, and he tilts his head in thought. It’s the smirk on his face that makes my palms sweaty. “On the Isabella?” He chuckles. “I remember, angel.”
I swallow the knot in my throat and square my shoulders. “No. At Hooke’s show.”
He frowns. “I don’t…” Trailing off, the recognition dawns on his face, his features hardening. “You were here recently? In New York?”
My only response is to stare at him. This is for your own good, Kash. I’m not worth it.
“Why… If you saw me, why didn’t you say something to me?” he asks, rubbing the back of his neck, confused.
“You were busy.”
“Busy?” He snorts. “I’d never be too busy for you.”
“You were practically fucking Jasmine by the bathroom.” I hated watching him with her, but it was better than the alternative.
I knew they had dragged Ashtyn from Vegas.
Adam put me on a plane and sent me here to follow them for him.
I knew if Kashton saw me, it’d be over, and the guys would drag me back with them to Carnage. I couldn’t let that happen.
His frown deepens. “You were at Hooke’s show?
I don’t…understand. What were you doing there?
” His jaw sharpens, and he looks away from me.
He snorts and answers his own question. “You were following Ashtyn.” Running a hand through his hair, he growls.
“Fucking Adam.” When he gives me his back, I swallow nervously.
Having to give him up will be the hardest thing I’ll ever do.
“Why didn’t you say something to me?” he growls.
“Jasmine—”
“I would have dropped anyone or anything for you,” he shouts, spinning around to face me. “I told you she meant nothing.”
I snort. “We’re not going to pretend like you were pining away for me. Let me guess…you’re a man with needs, and she fulfilled them.”
“No.” He shakes his head, glaring at me. “We’re not doing that.” Kashton points a finger at me.
“Doing what?” I feign innocence. “Pretending that we were each other’s first?”
“Pretending that you’re not trying to sabotage us,” he snaps.
My throat closes up, and I look away from him.
“It’s not going to work, Eve. I won’t let it—”
“Maybe I’ve changed my mind. What if Bill hasn’t filed the license yet?” I glance back at him, shrugging carelessly. “I no longer want—”
“Stop, Eve,” he barks, interrupting me. “We’re fucking married. This is just a formality.” Stepping into me, he runs his warm hands up and down my shaking arms, his eyes intently staring into mine. “You haven’t changed your mind. You’re doubting yourself.”
Tears sting my eyes. How does he know me so well? It’s not fair.
“You’re doubting your worth.”
I step back and look away, but he grips my face in both of his hands. “You are more than enough. You’re my angel.” His eyes soften, and I blink rapidly. “My beautiful, angry angel.” Letting go, he steps away to leave the bathroom.
“You don’t regret me?”
His eyes meet mine. “No.”
Those butterflies I always get when he speaks take flight in my stomach. “It’s never too late to change your mind,” I add.
I’m really trying not to lose my shit, but I’m afraid I don’t have high hopes.
He steps back into the bathroom, removes his hands from his pockets, and cups my face. They’re warm and feel like home. I feel safe when I’m with him, and I refuse to let the Lords ruin that because I know they’ll try again.
“Angel, I would have married you that day I saw you on the yacht if you had not run from me,” he admits, his eyes searching mine.
Kashton leans in and kisses my forehead before he steps away, giving me his back.
I step forward with a knot in my throat, but he deserves to know what he’s getting into.
“I can’t give you a family, Kash.” He turns back to face me.
“Do you understand that? The Lords will want you to have children.” I’ve told him this several times, but he just keeps brushing it off.
He needs to understand that all I’m bringing to the table is anger issues and crazy mood swings.
He’s a Spade brother. I’ve seen them try to rip everyone I know apart to get what they want.
We won’t be any different. We’re not special.
“Everett”—he takes my left hand, running his thumb over my ring finger—“we’ve talked about this. You’re going to be my family. You’re all I need.”
“You don’t want kids?” I spilled my past to him the other night but never asked what he wanted. Honestly, we should have had this conversation long before now. Lords are required to reproduce. I can’t give him that.
“I want you.” He brings my hand to his lips and kisses my knuckles.
Letting it go, he places both hands on my face.
I love when he touches me. Kashton is a hands-on person, and that’s something I love about him.
He can never get enough, and I swallow it up as much as I drink alcohol.
“As long as I have you, I have everything.”
“But they will force you to have children.”
“No—”
“Will you fuck other women?” I arch a brow.
He chuckles like my question was a joke. “Are you asking if I’m going to cheat on you? Of course not.”
I lick my lips. “What if they force you to?” He frowns, and I go on to explain. “What if they put a gun to my head and say in order for me to live, you have to fuck—”
“Eve,” he interrupts my hypothetical situation. “We’re going to have a lot of issues in our marriage. Me fucking another woman isn’t going to be one of them.”
I yank my hands from his, crossing my arms over my chest. “What the hell does that mean?”
The smirk on his face tells me he thinks this is funny, which just pisses me off more.
“It means you’re hardheaded, argumentative, and sometimes flat-out crazy, but the qualities that make me want to strangle you are also what make me love you.
” He cups my face once more, that annoying smile still on his lips.
“The Lords gave you an assignment, you completed your initiation. It’s over. Now it’s just you and me. Forever.”
I refuse to accept that I get to spend the rest of my life with this amazing man. Nothing good ever happens to me. “But you’re a Spade—”
“So are you.”
I flinch at his words. I never have and never will claim that I came from a Spade brother—one of them. “For you, that means something. Not to me. I’m useless—”
He wraps his hand around my throat, cutting off my words. His blue eyes darken, glaring down at me while he pushes my back against the wall. “Don’t ever say that,” Kashton orders. “You’re not useless, Eve. Do you understand me?”
I can’t answer him because it’ll be a lie, and we both know it.
I can’t change how I feel. I’ve felt it all my life.
“I…” I lick my lips. He holds my neck, patiently waiting for me to agree.
“I have no purpose. Nothing to give you.” The words hurt worse than anything else I’ve ever been through.
The pain I feel can’t be fixed by a doctor, alcohol, or medication.
It’s an open wound that will never heal.
Lords are meant to serve, and I’m betraying them by killing their own. One day, I will be the confessional that they strip down and tie to their altar.
“You want a purpose?” he demands, and I swallow nervously against his hand still gripping my throat. “Huh? Is that what this is about, angel?”
I don’t answer because he won’t understand.
“I’ll give you purpose.”
My breath hitches as he pushes his body farther into mine, pinning me against the wall. I can feel him shaking with anger. I’ve never seen him this worked up before.
“I’m your purpose. You’ll serve me…your Lord.” He loosens his hold on my neck, but he doesn’t release it. His eyes soften as he goes on. “I’m going to vow my life to you, and you will vow yours to me. I’m going to take care of you. Do you understand that?”
“I understand,” I whisper.
Letting go of my neck, his eyes search my face when he continues. “I’ll make sure to remind you every day for the rest of our lives.” With that, he turns and exits the room.
I slump against the wall and bow my head. He’s my purpose. I can do that. I will be the best wife and devote my life to him.