Chapter 18 Bennett
BENNETT
Forrester Sibling Group Chat
Bennett
Houston, we have a problem.
Jules
Get arrested again?
Bennett
No. Worse.
Haydn
What’s worse than that?
Bennett
I may be slightly attracted to my wife.
Jules
Just slightly?
Bennett
In an all-consuming kind of way.
Haydn
That’s a good thing, Ben.
Bennett
Not when the marriage is fake.
Jules
Just treat her like a buddy. Like she’s one of the bros. And all that attraction stuff will work itself out when you haven’t showered for a month out there.
Haydn
Good idea. Listen to Jules.
Bennett
Okay. It’s a plan. Oh, she’s up. We’re going to head for the cabin for a few days, then go straight to the Wild set. Love you!
Three hours later
Rosie
YOU GUYS, I WAS ASLEEP. BENNETT, DO NOT LISTEN TO JULES. DO NOT TREAT HER LIKE A brO. CHARLIE IS AMAZING. LEAN INTO FALLING IN LOVE WITH HER. KISS HER AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS.
Bennett
[auto-responder] I am embarking on the adventure of a lifetime on Wilderness Network’s Wild (with no cell service). Thank you for your patience. I will contact you … eventually.
It was too loud to talk on the boat to the island where our family cabin was, but it was nice to be out on the water with the wind blowing in our faces. It was almost enough to pull me out of the weird mood I’d been in all morning.
The problem was this: I couldn’t remember how to be normal.
When Charlie had stumbled into the kitchen this morning, looking like she’d just lost every dream she’d ever had, I didn’t know if I should pull her into a hug, make her breakfast, or flee the scene.
What would Bennett of old do?
Not what I’d done, which was a weird combination of all three. I’d thrust a breakfast burrito at her with one hand while I patted her on the head like a child with the other, then abandoned the entire townhouse completely when I heard her turn on my shower a few minutes later.
I’d done a quick grocery run, dropped everything off at the marina, and then raced back to the house to get Charlie. Maybe if I didn’t stop moving, this strange sensation of being a husband couldn’t catch up to me.
Even now, Charlie was stretched out behind me on the boat, her head tilted toward the sky, as I navigated us to the island. Her knee skimmed my back. I should have taken my sailboat instead. Tons of room to spread out.
But Bennett of old wouldn’t care about a little knee skim here and there.
We arrived at the island, and I cut the engine, leaving us with the sound of the waves lapping against the metal.
“I’m so glad we’re doing this before going on the show,” Charlie said, a wide smile crossing her face. Her swollen eyes were hidden behind huge sunglasses, but I was glad to see some genuine happiness from her.
“Me too.” Lies. I hopped out to tie us to the dock. I took her hand to help her out of the dinghy, exactly like Bennett of old would do.
“No one is supposed to know that I’m completely heartbroken right now.” Her voice cracked, and this time, I didn’t let myself question it.
I pulled her into an awkward hug around our life vests. She could hardly get her arms around me.
She giggled and dropped her forehead onto my padded chest. “What would I do without you, Bennett?”
“Be married to a loser?” Could I say that now that they’d broken up?
She pinched my waist, but when she pulled back, she was still smiling. “Tell me how you really feel.”
The sun backlit her with a golden, nearly irresistible glow. Nope. Don’t think I’ll be doing that.
She helped me gather our duffels and the grocery bags, and we walked over the sandy trail to the cabin.
My brothers and I had built most of the cabin ourselves over several years.
I had touched every part of the redwood planks, the steeply pitched roof, the wraparound porch with a white swing out front.
If I could live here, I would, but it was too far from work to be feasible.
After Lily broke up with me, I seriously considered it.
Quitting work. Living on the land. Becoming a recluse.
In the end, I didn’t want to abandon Rosie. She’d had enough people leave her; I wasn’t going to add myself to the list. But I’d spent plenty days off out here. No internet. No cell service. Just blissful quiet.
“You love it here,” Charlie said.
I opened my eyes and realized that I’d stopped just short of the porch of the cabin to breathe in the woodsy scent of home. “It’s one of my favorite places.”
“I can see that.” She followed me inside, where I turned on the lights and opened the windows to air it out.
“Take whichever room you want,” I told her as I started to unload the groceries. I was making us grilled salmon with parmesan risotto for dinner, and a flourless chocolate cake for dessert.
She wandered down the hall and then came back a few minutes later and sat on a stool in the kitchen. “I took the middle room. Is that okay?”
I busied myself so she wouldn’t see me swallow extra hard. The middle room was mine, but I would not picture her sleeping in my bed. Nope. “Yep. Perfect.”
“Can I help?” She leaned her elbows on the counter as I set out all the ingredients.
“I’ve got this if you need to rest.”
“Resting will give me way too much time to think.”
“And we don’t want that,” I teased. There. That sounded normal. “Do you know about our hot chocolate tradition?”
“No,” Charlie said. “I’ve never actually been here before.”
“Seriously?” At one point, Rosie had been renting the cabin out behind our backs to earn some money. I’d assumed she’d bring her friends down here as well.
“Rosie invited me a few times, but it never worked out with my schedule.” She watched me as I rinsed the rice. “This is kind of mesmerizing, watching you cook.”
I had to will the goose bumps not to pop up on my arms as she followed my every move. “The hot chocolate tradition is simple, but essential.”
“I’m intrigued.”
“Every day that we’re here on the island … we drink hot chocolate. Copious amounts.”
“Wow.” She nodded slowly. “That’s quite a tradition.”
I laughed. “We have every flavor the grocery store carries, plus some we’ve special-ordered, in that cabinet above the fridge. Why don’t you pick one out and get the kettle going?”
“What kind do you want?” She riffled through the stash. “Oh! White chocolate raspberry! Yum.” She looked up at me expectantly, and I forced a casual smile.
This was such a simple moment, but one I’d longed to share with someone for a long time.
For years, I’d thought it would be me and Lily, but I couldn’t actually picture her here, puttering around the kitchen, content to hang out while I cooked.
She never liked to stop moving and had a habit of always taking over for me.
Being with Charlie was so effortless, which I’d known for years.
But I hadn’t ever really thought about it. “I’ll do dark chocolate.”
She busied herself figuring out the electric kettle while I got the rice going on the stovetop.
I was aware of her every move in the kitchenette around me.
When she reached up high to get the mugs from the cupboard.
When she slipped past me to grab the kettle and her shoulder rubbed against my back.
Even the way she blew on the steam rising from her mug was fascinating.
To the point where I almost burned the risotto. I never burn my risotto. I cursed and pulled the pan away from the heat, turning it down quickly. I thought I’d saved it in time.
Charlie watched me as she sipped her cocoa. “Have you always loved cooking?” she asked after I’d gotten the heat to the right temperature and continued stirring the rice.
“No.” My shoulders relaxed as the risotto returned from the brink of death.
This was one of the things I loved about cooking, especially familiar recipes.
If you did all the right steps, everything worked out exactly as you expected.
“In fact, I hated it at first. When my mom got sick, we all took on different jobs around the house, and mine was cooking. I was so bad at it. Mom would try to teach me from the couch, but I still struggled.”
Those were some of my favorite memories.
How Mom would assure me it was okay that my noodles were all stuck together in one huge clump.
Or that my ground beef tasted like coal.
“The more I cooked, the more I grew to love it. Especially when I realized how much I loved eating good food.” I patted my stomach, which was not quite as firm as it had once been.
“Would you ever do it as a job?” she asked. “Like open a restaurant.”
“Nah.” I’d considered it at one point, but I wouldn’t want to give up being on the ocean for the large part of my day. “I like it as a hobby. Takes all the pressure off when I want to try new things.”
“Hobbies. What are those?” she asked, only sounding half-joking.
“You have hobbies,” I said. “Like marrying your friend’s older brother.”
She laughingly threw her empty hot chocolate packet at me. It flitted downward, inches from where she tossed it. She let out an amused huff, picked it up, and attempted a second throw. This time it landed on the marinating salmon fillets, and a small amount of white chocolate power dusted the tops.
We both looked at it for a second.
“I’m sorry,” Charlie said with a stricken expression. “I shouldn’t be silly when you’re trying to work. And now I’ve ruined the salmon.”
“Chocolate has never made anything worse.” I leaned close enough to gently touch her chin, where she had a speckle of chocolate foam.
“In fact, I insist that you continue to be playful while I work.” Was this what they meant by the phrase in for a penny, in for a pound?
Her playfulness was like sweet torture. But her worry, her quick apology?
That was something else. Something that made me wish I’d punched Greg a second time.
I tried to tease her into being silly again, but her seriousness had returned for the rest of the evening.
Greg had trained her to believe that a mistake was catastrophic.
That everything wrong was her fault. I’d seen him do it to her, subtly, over the years, and it always triggered that red light in the back of my head that said something isn’t right here.
I should have stepped in a long time ago. We all should have.
It was too late to do anything about the past, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t start helping her see how amazing she was now.
In a friendly, totally platonic, older brother kind of way, of course.