23. Max
CHAPTER 23
Max
When I walk into the kitchen the next morning, I find that the coffee pot is warm with a little bit of brewed coffee left in it.
Charlie’s already been up. I glance at the front entryway and see that she’s already left. Her boots are missing, and Jim is staring at the door like someone broke his heart.
“Jim,” I call to him as I pour a cup of coffee. “She’s not ours. We can’t keep her.”
Jim whines loudly and claws at the door.
“I know. I feel the same way.”
The things I said last night? I had to. Charlie was still riding the high of our kiss. She couldn’t have been thinking straight about us trying to work something out.
And it hurt to say those words. But I know it’s not right for us to pursue something right now. She’s not here to stay. She lives in Bend. She doesn’t want any part of small-town life. She might think she wants it, but then reality will set in. I experienced the results of that with Jessica and Logan.
I finish drinking my coffee and then slip on my thick jacket and cowboy boots.
It’s still early, so I take a detour toward the main house before I go feed the cattle. Just to make sure she’s okay. That’s all. I won’t even talk to her. I’ll make sure she’s upright and breathing before I head to the barn.
I walk over to the main house with the dogs. Jim is leading the way, and even Larry looks excited. They’ve gotten used to our daily check-ins at the lodge.
When I reach the lodge, I open the door as quietly as possible and whisper at the dogs to stay. If they walk into the house, they’ll go find her right away, and this won’t be a stealthy check-in.
I close the door as softly as possible.
She won’t even know I’m here.
I slip my boots off and set them on the rug so they don’t thump loudly.
Walking slowly down the hall I listen for the sounds of working. Maybe some thumps. A muttering. Anything to tell me where she’s at.
“What are you doing?”
I freeze and turn around to find Charlie coming from the hallway that leads to the bathroom. She’s holding a faucet in her hand; she’s in socks and yoga pants with a big sweater that has a hole in the side—a result of work and not a fashion choice.
“Hmm, I was just checking on you.”
She raises her eyebrows at that. “Really? Because it looked like you were sneaking around.”
I grimace at that because I can see the hurt in her eyes. How did we go from fighting over a house to worrying about each other’s feelings?
“I was making sure you were okay before I head out to the barn.”
She nods slowly.
“Okay. You’re fine. Have a good day.” I spin around and start back to the door.
“Listen. About last night,” she calls out to me.
I stop in my tracks. What I’d really like to do is run out of here, but I can’t. Something holds me in place.
“I’m not—” Charlie clears her throat. “I’m sorry I said all that stuff.”
Turning slowly, I take in the sight in front of me. Charlie is shifting her weight from foot to foot, twisting that faucet around in her hands.
“You’ve been…” She trails off again.
I shove my hands in my pockets while I wait for her to continue.
“You’ve treated me like somebody.”
I frown at that. I don’t know what she’s saying.
“What I mean is, you’ve acted like I’m normal and not a novelty.”
“You are normal. What the heck are you talking about?”
She smiles a little at my response. “I’m outspoken, loud, and work in a male-dominated career. Men either treat me like a novelty or the competition.”
“What does that have to do with me?”
“You’ve never been out to hurt me or build yourself higher. You’ve never made me feel bad about who I am.”
“That’s not true. I’ve been tempted to toss you in the snow a time or two.”
Charlie plants her free hand on her hip. “What I’m saying is you’ve shown more acceptance of me than my last three boyfriends. I think that’s why I said what I said last night. I think maybe I was misinterpreting things, and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make things uncomfortable for you.”
My heart is making a strange beating pattern as I try to swallow the lump in my throat. You didn’t misread things. I do want you. But I don’t say that. Instead, I tell her, “If you ever have to change who you are for someone to like you, then they don’t really like you. You deserve better than that, Charlie.”
She nods once. “Thanks, Max.” She swallows audibly. “Gosh, this was embarrassing.”
“Don’t even worry about it.” I wave a hand at her as if that will shoo the problem away. I turn to leave, then stop once more. “The electricians coming today?”
“Yup.”
“I’ll leave Jim with you.”
The smile she gives me is going to be the image stuck in my head all day.It’s the smile that makes me think it’s worth throwing caution out the window.