Chapter Nine
Sir Colt Lawrence
The closed curtains in his suite shadowed the room.
Lord Kendrick had worked all night on the marble sculpture.
I half expected to see him in bed with someone, but it was just his form in the enormous bed.
It was a relief. “Good evening, Your Grace. I’m sorry to disturb you, but it is near six p.m. You have to get ready for the theater. ”
I had a hard time forgetting the kiss he shared with Lady Lillian.
Jealousy often colored my opinion of his lovers.
She was different. I wasn’t sure if it was the innocent way she viewed the world or that she showed a genuine interest in me and my writing.
I almost felt sorry for her. It was difficult being in love with the duke.
“Must I?” he asked, lifting the pillow and placing it over his head. Unorthodox man that he was, he slept with no clothing, which meant his magnificent chest was bare, a trail of dark hair running down his belly and under the sheet, hiding his cock from my view.
“You must. Your future bride awaits.” I was glad he was covered. It was difficult enough to keep myself disciplined around him.
He threw the pillow at me, hitting me in the stomach. I clutched it and rolled my eyes, the consummate actor. If I had my druthers, I would climb into bed with him and beg him to take me. My cock swelled at the notion, and I was glad for the pillow. “Your valet is readying your bath.”
“What shall I wear tonight? Black or black?” Lord Kendrick asked on an enormous yawn, making no move to get up. He lifted his left arm and brought it behind his head. Sleepy blue eyes stared at me, the light of ever-present mischief in their depths.
I ached to look away, but I couldn’t. He was magnificent in his raw state; his beard's shadowed scruff and his long hair gave him a rakish air. Dark hair covered the muscled flesh of his shin poking out from the bedding. “I believe black is appropriate.”
“So, you would choose black. Good enough. I shall take your advice.” He rolled to the side of the bed. The linen caught around his hips. I willed it to fall at the same instant I begged it not to. What a contradiction I was.
A burgundy robe was draped over the chair nearest the bed, and I handed it to him. He clasped it in his hand, stood, and allowed the linen to fall. Throwing the robe over his shoulder, he walked to the back of the suite. “Come talk to me while I bathe. I have a few things I’d like to discuss.”
His arse was taut, legs long and sinewy from years of rowing. I joined him often on the lake, learning to row myself just to be close to him. It was a shameful secret I would never tell another living soul.
I followed him like a lamb to slaughter. If I was smart, I would make up an excuse to leave. The internal torture was never-ending. It was also my fault. I could quit. My income wasn’t dependent on this job. Still, I couldn’t bring myself to leave.
It wasn’t unusual for me to follow Lord Kendrick from room to room. I was his personal secretary. He was restless and rarely stayed still unless working on an art project.
The valet was in the bathroom beside the tub he’d drawn full of steamy water.
He glanced up when we entered and stood staring at his employer, hunger and appreciation in his regard.
I cleared my throat at his insolence. He was hired to do a job, not lust after his employer. He lowered his eyes in acknowledgment.
The hypocrisy wasn’t lost on me because I was guilty of the same crime. However, it was my job to keep the duke safe and free of everyday decisions. I knew my place and tried to lead by example.
“I would like to wear my black suit with the satin lapels. Please leave us for a bit. I’ll call you when I’m ready for a shave.
” Lord Kendrick shoved the robe into the valet’s hand and lifted his foot into the tub.
The gaslights cast warm light, and a mirror on the vanity was fogged from the heat.
He gripped the side of the claw-foot tub, giving me a clear view of his cock before he submerged himself in the water.
“Very good, Your Grace.” The valet disappeared into the bedroom, shutting the water closet door behind him.
The room was hot and stuffy. I pulled at the stiff collar of my shirt.
I was in my employer's company often, rarely with him naked.
It was unnerving. There was a small stool by the tub, and I sat on it.
His neck and chest were visible. He leaned back and sighed. “This feels good.”
“I’m sure it does. You worked late again last night.” It was a simple observation meant to fill the awkward silence. I stared down at my feet. My left shoe had a scuff on the toe. I would have to have Henry polish it out for me.
“I have been thinking.” He closed his eyes and licked his lips. Those kissable lips I longed to taste.
Besides his many eccentricities, he had a good head for business. Most people underestimated his intelligence. With his looks, title, and charm, he purposely set about pushing that narrative. “Should I be afraid?”
His hearty laughter followed my dry statement and echoed off the tiled walls. “I have been thinking about Lady Lillian and her proposal.”
“I see.” All traces of amusement left me. I was familiar with how his mind worked. He was always chasing something—or someone—new. I wasn’t sure if it was because he bored easily or ran every time someone got close to him. His father had been strict, but his mother was warm and caring.
“Our kiss was unexpected.” He lifted his hand and ran it through the length of his hair. Worry burrowed frown lines between his eyes.
“In what way?” I was often the voice of reason in our relationship, and we carried on hypothetical conversations until we arrived at a satisfactory conclusion. Usually, it was me curbing his impulses.
“I’m not sure I can explain it. It was our first kiss, yet it was like I had been kissing her forever. Odd, very odd.” He rubbed at his forehead, wetting his face. Water dripped down his nose, and he blew it away.
“Maybe you like her more than the others.”
“I like her, true. But I think it is her innocence that I like. She doesn’t have a high opinion of herself, and when I’m with her, I want to bolster her confidence.
” He held his breath and dipped under the water, his head visible beneath the surface.
The water turned brown from the clay coating his hair.
It seemed to permeate the air. He popped his head up and brushed the hair from his eyes.
If Lord Kendrick had his way, he’d take in every beggar and give them a home. He’d a large and giving heart and a soft spot for the weak and vulnerable. “She isn’t one of your charity cases. She’s quality and a virgin, as you pointed out to me multiple times.”
“I don’t need a reminder of that.” Lord Kendrick glowered at me, the hair plastered around his face. He raked it back with one hand. “Maybe it is because I can’t have her that I want her. She asked me to bed her if you recall.”
“Are you trying to justify seducing her to yourself or me?” His impulsiveness had gotten him into trouble in the past. I had promised his mother I would curb his reckless side the best that I could. He respected me, and the feeling was mutual, but I wasn’t blind to his faults or my own.
“I’m thinking out loud, and yes, you son of a whoremonger, I’m trying to justify it to myself. Gavin refuses to even step foot in the house again.”
“Had you developed a fondness for Gavin?” I knew the answer before I asked the question. He was a distraction with exceptional skill at cock-sucking.
“He was entertaining, but alas, he has cut his association with me. Even if I agreed to Lillian’s plan, we would have no third in our party.” Submerging his chin, he squeezed the water from his hair.
My throat was tight, and I inhaled gulps of air through my nose. Here was my opportunity. It was madness, yet ... “You could always marry her.” Those weren’t the words I intended to say. They were safer and much more pragmatic.
He snapped his head around. “Marry Lady Lillian? Are you mad?”
I adjusted my legs and stretched them out, my foot touching the base of the tub. Now that I said the words, my enthusiasm grew. “No, you told me what you wanted in a wife. She’s from an excellent family. She has a dowry. All the criteria you listed. She accepted you and your unusual staff.”
“My mother likes her family.”
“It is a winning proposition.”
“Marry Lady Lillian.” He scratched at his jaw and pressed his lips together, a sure sign he was taking my suggestion seriously.
“I think you might be onto something. If I marry her, she will have all the practical knowledge she needs to write the book. There is the matter of the third person. She’ll need all three scenarios if she’s serious about the research. ”
“I would recommend you focus on the two of you first. Just say the word. I’ll send over a request to her father for an audience.
Once you wed, every publisher in town will trip over themselves to publish her story.
” I was envious of her for yet another thing.
Lord Kendrick would marry her. There was no doubt in my mind it would happen.
She would be an author, another dream of mine. Yet I didn’t resent her good fortune.
I had spoken to her briefly, and I sensed goodness in her heart during those fleeting exchanges.
Lady Lillian would help ground Lord Kendrick.
She accepted him for who he was and hadn’t shied away from him.
Once he was settled into his marriage with her, I would quit my position. It was time I saw to my future.
It would be painful, but as much as I loved Lord Kendrick, I needed to respect myself more.