Chapter Thirteen
Lady Lillian Tapper
The ground was moving. My mind had been submerged in a deep pool of darkness, but now I was being dragged out of the abyss. I forced my eyes open and frowned at Lord Kendrick, who was carrying me. “What are you doing?”
“You fainted. How are you feeling?” Lord Kendrick sat down on the garden bench and stared down at me, his arm supporting my back. A soft mist had fallen. I noticed his hard body beneath my bottom and the spicy scent of his shaving soap.
Up close, I could see the thickness of his eyelashes.
His nearness was disturbing to my equilibrium.
There were nights I dreamed of this, but the reality was overwhelming.
I tried to sit upright, but I drifted back down, my stomach protesting the move.
Staying in his lap wasn’t an option either. “I feel confused. I never faint.”
“You can no longer say that. Would you like me to take you inside?” He said it in a gentle tone. The lines around his mouth were tight, betraying his upset. The duke rarely appeared anything except confident.
“No, I think we should talk.” It was all coming back to me. Every shocking detail. I wanted to utter the words he’d said to me. It felt like a dream, a very odd dream.
Strong brows furrowed over concerned blue eyes. “I’m more troubled about your health at this instant.”
“There isn’t anything wrong with my health.
You surprised me, that’s all. It isn’t every day I get a random marriage proposal.
” Never if the truth be told. Nor had I ever expected to receive one from such a dynamic and appealing man, which made me suspicious.
There was something off about his proposal.
We had spoken only a handful of times, and while we were friendly, we were still strangers. Except society marriages were often based on less. I had damaging information on him, and marriage would guarantee my silence. For that reason alone, I was mistrustful.
“I’m sorry. It was a surprise for me as well.” Lord Kendrick licked his lips and smiled sheepishly. He shifted his foot, and my bottom settled more fully into his lap.
Goosebumps shot across my arms, and I wanted to bury my nose in the crook of his neck. If I was married to him, I could do so any time. The thought brought me up short, and a rush of heat warmed my skin. He asked me to marry him. Me. “Why did you feel the need to ask for my hand?”
“You have a way of growing on a man.” He shrugged his broad shoulders and clasped my hand with his free one. His palm was slightly calloused. If I said yes, he would caress my body with those hands. He said he judged a person by their soul. He must find mine fitting well with his a plus.
I couldn’t suppress the doubt, however. “Fungus grows. Mold grows. They’re not always a good thing. Is it because of our deal?” I had to know the truth, no matter how painful.
Head tilted back, he studied me for a long moment before answering. “Yes. I must be honest. I was reconsidering my position on helping you with a more hands-on approach to your research. Our kiss cemented that impulse.”
“It was rather pleasant.” I had thought about nothing but since it happened.
Before the maid had interrupted me, I was writing the first of the scenes Moran had suggested.
To be called away had annoyed me, to be sure.
My mother didn’t take my desire to write seriously and often interrupted while I was composing a very exciting plot twist.
“More than pleasant, but I digress. Colt suggested I should marry you.” His thumb caressed my wrist bone, the touch soft and sensual.
“Colt told you it was a good idea?” It wasn’t his idea but Colt’s.
I fought the stab in my chest at the revelation.
His secretary was practical, which meant his reasons for marrying me were practical.
By its very definition, it was impractical for me to think otherwise.
There was no great love between Lord Kendrick and me.
I liked him, and I could tell that he liked me too. Marriages were built on less.
“Yes. He pointed out some key observations. The traits I’m looking for in a wife are acceptance.
You saw me in the garden, but you never judged me for my actions.
You met Henry and Frank, and you treated them with dignity and respect.
” Lord Kendrick lifted my hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it.
The heat inside my body intensified. He intertwined his fingers with mine and settled them back in my lap.
The effects of the simple gesture stirred my blood.
What he said was true. I tried to be kind and accepting because I was often judged unfairly.
I was fortunate to be born into a position of wealth, and if I said yes to his proposal, I would be a duchess.
The reality doused the thrill of being held with such intimacy.
If I thought myself under scrutiny now, wait until I had to command a grand household. “I understand how important it is to you to live your life free of restrictions. If I said yes, will I live with you next door or with your mother at the Alton ducal estates?”
He tilted his head and frowned. “Since you will be my wife, I expect you will live with me next door since it is my preferred residence. I often split my time between my ducal estate and here. My mother will give you some time, but I can guarantee that she will insist you live at Alton, at least for a while. She’s been after me for ages to marry so she can teach my duchess how to run such a vast household. ”
It was as I feared. He was being pressed into marrying by his mother, and I was the convenient choice. The wound in my chest widened, and tears threatened to fall. I could always refuse his offer. My parents would disown me. They would put me out on the street, but I would have my dignity.
“You don’t have to answer now.” He disengaged his hand and brought his fingertip to the underside of my chin. With his other arm, he lifted me until my mouth was near his. Lashes lowering, he swept my lips with a gentle kiss.
The thrill far outweighed my foreboding. I didn’t need love for a relationship to be successful. My parents had been a love match, but it was rare among my peers. Alliances were more important in my circle. I looped my arm around his neck and allowed my lips to play under his dancing ones.
His hand on my back drifted to my side, and he curled me closer into his body.
I followed his lead and tightened my arms, the need to be flush against his chest rising at an alarming clip.
The books had been instructive, but they had gaps I needed Lord Kendrick to fill in.
He dipped his tongue between my lips, and I glided my own along the silky length.
The men in the books often kissed in the French fashion, and I felt the heady effects to the tip of my toes.
A discreet cough drew us apart. Colt stood on the path, his hands behind his back.
Cheeks burning at being caught in a compromising position, I released my grip on his neck. Lord Kendrick wouldn’t have asked for my hand if not for Colt.
“Sorry for the interruption. Your parents were worried. You have been gone for a time. Shall I give them the good news?” The words were polite, but there was a hint of sadness in his gaze that wasn’t there the last time I had seen him.
“She hasn’t given me the good news yet.” Lord Kendrick lifted me and shifted his hips until I sat next to him. I wanted to protest the move. To be held by him was a fantasy come true, and I drew strength from his strength. “I think we should leave. She needs time to answer,” Lord Kendrick said.
“I don’t need more time. The answer is yes.
I’ll marry you.” If nothing else came of our union, I would have the material I needed for my book.
“However, I have conditions. I wish to be published still, but I’ll do it on my own.
I don’t wish for help from anyone. Well, I need help with the new scenes.
Please ask your model friend if he will take part. ”
He exhaled a long breath and ran a hand through his dark hair. “I’m afraid I cannot deliver on my promise.”
Colt released a disapproving snort and turned his back. Not before I saw the flash of jealousy in his gaze. He’d been Lord Kendrick’s loyal secretary for a long time and spoke of him with great affection. After witnessing Lord Kendrick with Gavin, I had a new understanding of unorthodox passion.
This was the second time I had seen Colt look at the duke with longing. It was possible that Colt had developed romantic feelings for his employer. I couldn’t blame him one bit.
The duke made no promises of fidelity and given his nature, I might have to contend with him carrying on affairs.
Misgivings crowded around in my mind, but there were more reasons to say yes than no.
He encouraged my writing, which was a plus.
Being with him was my driving reason. If I had to marry, I wanted a man who made my toes curl in my shoes.
Lord Kendrick was that man. If Gavin refused, perhaps Colt was the man to recruit.
A burst of sensation shot through my core and my nipples budded at the idea of seducing Colt.
I had become a wanton, and I wasn’t even married yet.
“Your writing is your own. I promise not to interfere in your passion as long as you afford me the same courtesy. I can’t promise fidelity..” He looked me directly in the eye and waited for my answer.
His statement gave me pause, but it wasn’t a surprise. Either I was making a huge mistake or accepting the opportunity of a lifetime. As long as I guarded my heart, I would survive. “I will.”