Chapter Twenty-Six
Sir Colt Lawrence
The hallway was narrow, with a set of stairs leading to the luxurious staterooms. My cabin was connected to the duke and duchess’s because of my position as his secretary, which would make it simple to slip into his suite at any time.
“Would you like to grab a brandy in my dressing room while Lillian finishes her toilet?” Lord Kendrick asked. The sultry turn of his voice cut right into my core.
Deep in my imagination, I had pictured everything I could do to him and what he would do with me.
The night in the library had barely touched the surface.
Everything inside me screamed yes. I inhaled and chose the safer path of evasion.
I retrieved my pocket watch and looked at the time.
“I daresay she is finished with her toilet by now. You mustn’t keep her waiting. ”
“No, you’re right. However, she has tasked me with reminding you that you owe her a scene.
” He jutted out his hip and settled his hand on his side.
The fitted jacket was pulled back to expose the silver waistcoat tailored to his lean waist. Lord Kendrick, the artist, was hidden behind the formal facade, a sensual man with a flair for seduction.
The invitation pricked my imagination and sent my mind back to the endless loop of indecision. Better to avoid the suggestion altogether and focus on the task he’d given me earlier. “I have to arrange for a room for the vicar. Or had you forgotten?”
“Yes, I had. I can’t function without you.
” Lord Kendrick’s fingers that still rested on my shoulder pulled me tight to his side.
Affection resonated in the gesture. I knew he cared for me because he was a caring person.
The heat of his body and tempting scent of clean soap chipped at my resolve to remain neutral to his touch.
“I daresay you will survive. Henry is competent and very discreet. Karen has been working with your mother’s secretary to learn what she must about the duchess’s duties.
The twins know the household, and they know you.
You needn’t fear on that score.” I straightened and turned, forcing his hand from my person.
It tore me up inside. I had to cut myself off from him.
The twins had begged me for the open positions.
I had promoted them with Lady Lillian’s blessing.
Hurt flashed across his expressive face, and he dropped his hand, fingers curling into a fist. “I’m not talking about work. I’m talking about our friendship.”
The emotions I tried to suppress bubbled up to the surface.
It might be foolish to speak, but I was at my wits’ end dealing with my adverse feelings.
“I was never your friend, Lord Kendrick,” I snapped.
“You paid me to anticipate your needs, and I did what you asked. Until Lady Lillian outed me to you, you didn’t know how much I desired you or where my genuine passions lay. ”
Stillness hung between us after my biting retort, the silence deafening. The ship rocked beneath my feet, further un-grounding me. It was an odd sensation and kept me off balance, rather like the man in front of me.
His expression fell, and I felt the worse sort of heel for being so harsh. He wasn’t responsible for my desires, and as his servant, I had no right to demand he take an interest in my life.
“I promised you a week, Your Grace, and I will abide by that promise. Excuse me, I must see to the good vicar’s accommodations, I said.
“Colt, please wait. Until recently, yes, everything you said is true.” Lips pressed in a grim line, he shook his head, a touch of panic in his regard. “I’m sorry I didn’t notice sooner. Let me make it up to you.”
“I don’t want your pity.” I couldn’t stand for him to think of me as a charity case or someone to be consoled.
It was almost better when he didn’t notice me as anything but his private secretary.
I was no longer a servant, or secretary, or in anyone’s service.
To be a baronet was a privilege, and while I was a mere Sir and my position wasn’t nearly as grand as that of a duke, I was a fortunate man to have it.
“I’m not offering it.” He lifted my chin with his knuckle despite the danger we could face if we were discovered by anyone. Troubled eyes locked with mine.
The hallway was empty, but someone could come at any time. If I could simply turn off the doubts, I would take him up on his offer for a drink and whatever followed. I stood stock-still, torn.
He stepped back with a resigned sigh, his hand falling to his side.
“Seek out the captain and ask for Reverend Lowe’s cabin to be readied.
Then I’ll release you from your promise.
You can leave the ship if you wish or stay of your own free will.
As my friend, not as my employee, and if you still desire, as my lover—our lover. ”
I eyed him for a long moment and tried to wrap my mind around what he was saying.
To leave his employ in a week was difficult enough.
Severing ties immediately sent alarm bells ringing inside my head.
It was like someone was ripping my heart out of my chest. I willed myself to breathe. “This is rather sudden.”
“You don’t have to answer right now. I will seek out Lillian and properly consummate our union.
” Lord Kendrick offered a persuasive grin as he visibly tried to rally his spirits.
He trailed a finger down my hand. His touch sparked the need brighter.
Every touch, every lingering glance had the desired effect.
He truly was a master at seduction, and I his willing victim.
“You can join us later if that is your wish.”
It was my greatest wish. I swallowed, wavering in my resolve. What he promised was what I longed for. I huffed out a breath, nodding at my inevitable agreement. “I will consider it.”
Footsteps sounded, and he stepped back, his arms crossed over his chest.
My stomach churned, and I gulped in air to calm my growing unrest. My senses were heightened by our conversation. I fought the urge to remain calm. My consolation was Lord Kendrick’s title would cushion us from ridicule. Mine would also safeguard me.
“Excuse me, my good man,” Lord Kendrick said, addressing the elderly concierge. “Your name?”
“Detrick, Your Grace.” The man cast me a nervous glance.
I gave him a slight nod to bolster his confidence. Lord Kendrick belittled no one on his staff or anyone in service. In that regard, he was a very generous sort, unlike his father before him, who used to terrorize my own father.
“I’ll need a room prepared for the vicar. Can you see to it?” Lord Kendrick asked.
“Yes, Your Grace, yes, of course,” Detrick said, bowing in deference to the duke’s station. “I’ll see to it right away.”
He disappeared as quickly as he came, cutting short my brief reprieve.
“I guess I can check that off my list.” I raked a hand through my hair and settled my palm on my neck. Restlessness still continued to dog me, a trait very unlike me. It was maddening, to be sure.
“You’re no longer working for me, and because you’re not in my employ ...” He leaned in and caught my mouth, kissing me with bittersweet need. I growled low in my throat, angling my jaw to press my lips tighter to his before I pushed away.
“What does that have to do with anything? If I recall, we did more, and damned if I won’t agree to more.
However, it is for Lillian. I made a promise, and I’ll keep that promise for her.
” Although I said it with force, the staccato pace of my breath gave away my proper reasons.
I desired him. I always had, and I always would.
Added to my anguish was my ever-increasing passion for the duchess.
Every time she entered a room, she brightened it with her enthusiasm.
After years of doubting my ability to spin a yarn, she helped spur my creativity.
Because of her, I’d finished plotting out my first novel.
“I’ll gladly accept your concession if it means working my way back into your good graces. I have a lot to make up for. If you allow me, I’ll start tonight.” His sheepish expression added to my unrest. “As soon as you point me to my stateroom.”
“You really are helpless without me.” I turned on my heel and took the stairs to the next floor, amused despite myself.
“I know.” Lord Kendrick followed me, every step drawing us closer to our destination and our destiny.
I had agreed to his request, but it was still difficult to absorb that I no longer worked for him.
If I was smart, I would flee the ship. Except I continued to climb the stairs, each step cementing my fate.
On the landing, I turned down the wide hallway to a door at the left. I opened the door to my stateroom and stepped inside. The room was narrow with a bed tucked into the corner and a desk.
“There’s the door to your dressing room,” I said, pointing to the portal. As much as I wished him to leave me, I wanted him to stay.
He entered the room and inspected the surroundings. The space appeared smaller with his presence, the well-tailored suit fitting his broad frame to perfection. On the small desk was my typewriter. He lifted the sheet in the tumbler. “Is this your book?”
“No, it is Lady Lillian’s. She asked me to bring it so she could work on her book. I do mine by hand.” He was taking an interest in me. If I wished to have a different relationship with him, I would have to learn to be myself. Except I wasn’t sure who I was anymore.
“I see.” He tapped his finger to his temple, and his grin broadened. “I have an idea.”
“To quote Lady Lillian, oh dear.” I leaned my hip against the desk, waiting to hear what he had on his mind. Our new roles would take some getting used to. Where before I tried to steer him in a different direction, I would have to let him make his own choices.
He offered me a brief kiss with a devilish grin, and any thought of resistance left me.
It was foolish, but I guess I was a fool. His fool.