Chapter Thirty-Three
Lady Lillian, Duchess of Alton
I pulled the cape closer to my body and lifted my chin to the weak sun.
The train pulled into the station, and our compartment's occupants lined up to exit onto the platform. After a month of pure bliss in Scotland, Kendrick and I were escorting Colt to his new home before we made the last leg of our journey to London. The empty place in my chest expanded, and I tucked my hand through Colt’s arm.
Kendrick walked behind us, his hand guiding my back, the other holding Colt’s portmanteau.
Our luggage was being delivered by the Alton servants to London from Scotland.
If it weren’t for the men, I would break down in tears.
I loved Colt with all my heart, and I hated that I would no longer see him every day.
“I was told the shipping company was a ten-minute walk from the station. Shall we stretch our legs? Or would you prefer a carriage?” Colt asked, his hand warm on my arm.
“I think we can walk.” I had too much pent-up energy. The train had been a novelty. By the second day, the reality of what would transpire in Liverpool cut me to the core.
Colt shifted the carpet bag in his hand and cut across the street.
The tails of his wool greatcoat flapped in the wind.
He was impeccably dressed, his jaw clean-shaven.
A small red bruise showed on his neck behind his ear, courtesy of my husband.
Our time at the ducal estate had been full of unadulterated exploration, a slice of heaven free of restrictions.
I would never forget the passion we shared, nor could I deny how deep in love I had fallen for Kendrick and Colt.
The station was near the water, and the briny stench of the ocean, coupled with coal smoke, had me digging into my reticle for a perfumed handkerchief.
Liverpool was known for its shipbuilding prowess. The city was a bustle of activity with countless ships’ spires in the distance. “We’ve talked about the shipping business you inherited, but do you know anything about shipping?” I asked.
“I’m sure I’ll learn.” Brow furrowed, he steered me around a pile of horse dung.
“He is a natural-born manager. He needn’t know the business but how to make sure others can do it in his stead.” Kendrick pointed to a sign with the street name Colt had been provided with. Storefronts lined the thoroughfare, and several patrons greeted us with a friendly nod.
Colt asked a woman sweeping the cobbled walk for directions. “Excuse me, can you tell me where the Lawrence Shipping Company is located?”
“That’s it, across the street.” She craned her neck and inspected him with a critical eye. In gold lettering over a tattered awning, a sign said Lawrence Shipping Company. “Place ain’t open, mind ya.”
“I’m the new owner. Sir Colt Lawrence at your service.” Although he smiled at her, strain lined his mouth. He’d been led to believe that the company was lucrative, yet its outside appearance reflected nothing but a struggling company.
“A pleasure to meet ya. Good luck to you, Sir.” With a nod, she returned to her shop.
“Perhaps it isn’t as bad as it seems.” Kendrick laid a hand on his shoulder in comfort. Since leaving Scotland, he’d been morose. I echoed my husband’s frame of mind and fought tears at the most inopportune times. Soon, we would travel on the last leg of our journey to London and leave Colt behind.
Raindrops peppered us from the sky, adding to the dismal mood surrounding us.
I linked my fingers with Colt’s and tugged him forward.
As my friend, he needed support, not sorrow.
It was challenging to keep a positive attitude when I wanted to break down sobbing.
“Kendrick is right. Let’s not judge anything until you have all the facts. ”
A horse and rider bounded down the street, forcing us to wait until the man passed before we could continue. A drop of rain ran down my nose, a cold wind following in its wake. My feet were heavy, and I felt like the joy had been stripped out of my heart.
“Did they send you a key?” Kendrick asked, staring up at the holes in the awning. The windows were covered with soot, and the place looked somewhat impoverished.
“I have one, yes.” Colt dropped my hand to rummage through his greatcoat pocket. I crossed my arms over my chest and forced myself to keep a smile in play.
While he tried the lock, I caught Kendrick’s grimace.
He was worried about our friend and lover.
There wasn’t much we could do but give him our blessing.
Colt could always return to London and live with us if things were bad.
I prayed he would reconsider staying in Liverpool indefinitely, but I couldn’t ask him to change his mind.
He needed to come to that conclusion on his own.
A click of the deadbolt and the door swung open.
The nutty aroma of coffee greeted us. It smelled freshly brewed.
Voices spilled out from somewhere in the back of the elongated space.
Colt held the door open to let me pass, amber eyes skimming my face.
I forced a smile for his benefit and stepped into the room.
Kendrick, followed by Colt, entered behind me.
The windows on the back wall were free of grime.
Diffuse light spilled into a room with desks lined up in a row.
An office door was partially open, and two figures could be seen in deep discussion.
It was a dismal place that lacked joy. It pained me to think of Colt in such a setting when he should be writing. With me.
“It is much nicer inside,” I said, reaching out and clasping Kendrick’s hand. Since we were in public, I dared not touch Colt. I was glad I could lean on my husband. His sturdy frame and quiet confidence bolstered my own.
He didn’t hesitate but looped my hand into the crook of his arm. The three of us fell into step together. Colt was apprehensive, and by the lift of his chin, he was trying not to show it. It wouldn’t be obvious to most. I could read him like a book.
“Excuse me,” Colt said, interrupting the two men. “I’m Sir Colt Lawrence. Do you work here?”
The elder of the men glanced up, a cigar stuck in the corner of his mouth. In his shirtsleeves, he wore a bowler hat. He started at the sight of me and grabbed his jacket to put on. “Beg pardon, Mrs. Sir Colt, we expected you a few weeks back. I’m Jones. This is Terrance.”
“I was unavoidably detained. Might I introduce my friends, Lord Kendrick, the Duke of Alton, and his duchess, Lady Lillian?” Colt took the portmanteau from Kendrick and placed it next to his carpet bag, an old remnant that had seen better days.
Jones’s mouth fell open at the introductions, and the air's tension increased. It was still hard for me to reconcile my elevated status, and I was unsure if I could ever get used to the staring. “Your Graces,” Jones said.
“A pleasure to meet you, Mr. Jones. May I ask where everyone is? It was my understanding that the business was running at capacity.” Colt angled his head and waited for them to answer.
After years of running Kendrick’s life, he was adept at wrangling people.
He presented a formidable figure with his hair carefully combed and the fine quality of his attire.
If possible, my appreciation for him grew.
Jones stared at him for a long moment, his brown eyes calculating. “It is Saturday. The workers work until noon on Saturdays.”
Hysterical laughter burst forth, and I slapped my hand to my mouth.
Colt turned to glance at me and rolled his eyes. It was such a typical reaction from him; it cut through my mania.
The entire situation was bordering on the ridiculous. I wanted to drag Colt back to London with me. I couldn’t do that. He was his own man.
He squinted at the clock and checked the time on his watch. “I never considered which day of the week it is.”
“We have thirty minutes until our train leaves,” Kendrick said with a grim nod, his mouth pinched. We all knew this day would come, but it didn’t make it any easier to say goodbye.
“You can go about your business,” Colt said to Jones. “I have to see my friends off, and then we can talk.”
Colt turned on his heels, his footfalls echoing on the planked floors.
With a reluctant stride, I followed, tears blurring my vision. I was glad for Kendrick now more than ever as we went to stand in the doorway.
“I guess this is goodbye,” I said.
“For now, Lillian, yes.” Colt looked over his shoulder before turning his head to gaze at me. The gentleness in his eyes tightened my throat. Warm lips settled on my cheek, and I fought the urge to turn my head and kiss him properly.
“Let me know what you learn from Mr. Moran. I’m most eager to read it,” he said, his voice husky and raw.
“I will.” I lifted shaking fingers to my tear-stained cheeks and wiped away the dampness.
“Lord Kendrick.” Colt held out his hand, and the men exchanged a handshake. Last night, he had been buggering my husband in erotic bliss. Today, he was leaving with an impersonal show of comradery befitting an acquaintance more than a lover.
“Don’t be a stranger. My house is always open to you. Always.” Kendrick wrapped his arm around my waist, his head down as he guided me outside. Coward that I was, I couldn’t look back at Colt. If I did, I would break down in agony. Life had taken yet another turn.
I had gained a husband but lost a friend, which tore me up inside.
The earlier rain had turned into a mist that mingled with my tears.
Biting back a sob, I tore my arm from Kendrick’s, lifted my skirts, and ran in the train’s direction.
Heavy footsteps followed, keeping pace with me until the air left my lungs in gulping pants.
I threw myself into his arms and buried my face in his jacket.
“We are not saying goodbye forever, Lillian. We will see him again.” He tried to sound confident, but it fell flat. Kendrick couldn’t guess the future any more than I did.
“Then why does it feel as if it is.”