CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
DREW
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Sneaking out before a three-year-old wakes up takes skill. I set my alarm for five in the morning and now Gemma is watching me, naked under the sheets, as I pull my socks on and slip my feet into my shoes.
I’m just about to cross the room to kiss her goodbye when we hear the click.
We both freeze, our eyes flying open wider.
“Mommy.”
I can’t move. I don’t know what to do.
Zoe glances between Gemma and me as she rubs her eye with her wee fist, looking so tiny in the doorway. “Why is Dwoo here?”
I clear my throat and start pulling on my jacket. “I was fixing Mommy’s toilet.”
Shit.
What a dumb thing to say.
Gemma pulls the sheet up higher and reaches out her arms. “Come here, darling.”
Zoe runs across the room and climbs up onto the bed.
Sorry, I mouth, and Gemma shakes her head, but I can tell she’s stressed.
Zoe asks, “Where are your pajamas?”
Oh my God, is she thirty? A budding investigator? How bright are kids when they’re this tiny?
I have employees less aware of their surroundings.
Gemma opens her mouth, then shuts it, while I have the brilliant idea of furthering my toilet story.
“They got stuck in the toilet. Her pajamas. They got stuck in the toilet.”
Gemma cringes over Zoe’s head.
“Why did you put your pajamas in the toilet?” Zoe frowns as if her mother is completely stupid.
“They fell in there,” she mumbles and shoots me a leave now look. “By accident. Drew helped me and now he’s going home. Say thank you to Mr. Carrington.”
It’s best I stop talking.
“Have a nice day, girls. I’m going to,” I thumb over my shoulder, “take my plumbing gear and go do my day job.”
Gemma chuckles silently.
“Can you fix my bathroom, Dwoo?” Zoe asks.
I go still at the door. “Ahh, sure. What’s wrong with it?”
“There’s a robot in my toilet.” Zoe tilts her head, and her expression is so serious, like she’s exhausted having to deal with all these robots.
I almost laugh.
“Ah,” I rub my jaw. “I need a special tool for the robot jobs. Can I come back next week?”
“Sure. Mommy can Dwoo come back?”
“That should be fine, but Zoe, we can’t tell Grandma, okay?”
“Yes,” Zoe whispers loudly. “Gramma doesn’t like the robots.”
I cover my mouth and wink at the woman I’ve spent hours making love to. Then slip out the door.
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MY MORNING WORKOUT was slow. All I could think about was being curled up in bed with Zoe and Gemma, talking mumbo jumbo, giggling with Zoe about her robot obsession.
It’s the strangest and most wonderful feeling happening inside my chest.
And terrifying.
The two of them are a family and don’t belong to me. I can’t push myself into their world and then disappear. I know how this works.
That doesn’t mean I don’t want them, because apparently I fucking do.
Just not...permanently.
I can’t.
I’ve had enough loss in my life.
Watching Mason, Seb and Colt fall in love, I hope like hell it works out for them. Privately, I worry. Things can change on a dime.
Death can visit.
Jack and my mom were both taken from me within a few years. Loss is a hard thing to heal from. It makes you protect your heart, not want to be hurt again, and then when you learn one of them was murdered by the woman he thought loved him, well, that fucks you up.
Like Zander, I’ve decided romantic love is not for me.
Lying to Gemma isn’t on the cards. I’ve spent most of the day wondering how I can sell the idea of us staying involved without...being involved.
Fuck.
Am I the one in denial?
I want to ask Gemma if I can take them to the zoo. I want to walk around holding her hand, buy Zoe plush toys, pretend we see robots and tease her mom.
I want to curl up on her sofa and watch a movie, bring them to mine and watch Zoe splash about in the hot tub.
Because what else would I be doing? Watching the stock market, as I usually did, over a lazy brunch on my balcony overlooking Central Park.
I have no right to want these things, and yet here I am sipping my coffee, ignoring my employees yack about business crap, and all I’m doing is thinking about them.
Goddamn it.
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AT SEVEN, I swing past Gemma’s and pick her up. She lets me pick her up at the door, which is a small miracle.
As Jeeves drives us a few blocks to Zander’s, I slide my hand over her silky thigh, wishing we had more time alone.
Gemma has a sexy black dress on, which is hot as hell short, and I’m glad she’s not out on her own. The cowl neckline teases her perfect cleavage and would look perfect with her diamond necklace.
Her.
“Was Zoe okay? No issues after I left?”
“She’s grounded.” Gemma shoots me with an unimpressed look.
“Why?”
And how does one ground a three-year-old when they can’t go anywhere on their own?
I keep my questions to myself.
“She put a bunch of toys into her toilet and said we need to call Dwoo the Plumber. While I feel guilty, I couldn’t let her get away with it.”
I bite my lip, trying not to smile.
“It’s not funny.”
“It’s a little funny.” I laugh. “Why didn’t you call me?”
She gasps. “Because you’re not a real plumber!”
“Fair call.” I’m still smiling. “Did it cause damage?
“Hard to know. There are three toys still missing, so I suppose in a few days we’ll find out.” Gemma sighs.
I squeeze her thigh. “That was a close call. We need to be more careful.”
“I agree.”
We stop outside Zander’s building, and I tell Patrick and Jeeves to give us a couple of minutes of privacy.
“What’s wrong?” Gemma turns, a worried look on her face.
“Nothing.” I study her face. “What I said, about being more careful...you didn’t say no.”
“Of course I didn’t. We do...oh.”
I watch the lightbulb go off and take this moment to push forward.
“You haven’t dated since Anthony died. You said I’m the first man you’ve slept with.”
“Yes.”
“Are you eager to marry again?”
“Where are you going with this?” Gemma asks, her expression wary.
“I like this. I like us. Sexually. Having dinner. Taking you to events. Afternoon tea with Zoe.”
Gemma swallows.
“I realize you’ll have boundaries around your daughter, and I respect that. I expect it.” I adjust my collar. “You’ve said you want the buyout, and I will take care of that, including the ten percent which I’ve averaged out on the previous year’s turnover of Open Leaf.”
If she opens her bank balance, she’ll see it’s already been deposited.
“Drew, no. That’s not necessary.”
I cup her face. “There’s no obligation. But officially, we are no longer business partners.”
Her lips press closed.
“Gemma, I want to keep seeing you.”
“Oh.” She nods, glances away, frowns, then looks me right in the eye. “Like as a couple?”
Fuck.
“No. Yes. I don’t... no.” I glance away, triggered by the word and seeking one that fits what I’m asking. “Like...Gemma, I want you to be my lover.”
Her face drops.
“Exclusively. I won’t sleep with any other women,” I rush out.
It doesn’t help.
“I see,” Gemma states and seems to move away.
“Neither of us want anything more serious.” Did I misread this entire thing completely?
Gemma glances away as my phone vibrates in my pocket. I ignore it.
“Take it.”
“No.” I shake my head and reach for her hand. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“I’m shocked, honestly.”
“Shocked that I want you?”
“Shocked that a man has asked me to be his lover. I was a married woman a year ago.” She lets out a harsh laugh. “Drew, I don’t know. None of this is how I saw my life going.”
Is she not over Anthony?
I grind my back teeth, thinking about what he’s done to her. What Gemma doesn’t know.
“Then think on it. You don’t need to answer me tonight.”
Fuck the five million and Zander’s bet. I don’t care about it.
Gemma nods, looking lost.
Tapping the window, Patrick opens the door and I climb out. Taking Gemma’s hand, I lead her inside the building and upstairs in the elevator.
I tug her against me. “I wasn’t expecting to upset you.”
“No.” Gemma places her hand on my pec. “You surprised me. I...he’s only been gone a year.”
I nod, then turn the doors open, and we’re blasted with music and laughter.
Anthony Ford doesn’t deserve Gemma’s loyalty.
Then again, perhaps I don’t, either.