Chapter 5 #2
She sighed. “No. But I don’t believe that Tarot tells you things to scare you. I don’t think it tells you about things that are beyond your ability to affect them. I think sometimes it can be giving you a warning, but I don’t think it tells you that you’re going to die, for example.”
“Oh?”
“Yes. Because that would be useless. Unless you can stop it. And it’s not going to be specific enough to let you stop it.
I think that messages like that are meant to make you more engaged and more active in your life.
If it told you something that you couldn’t affect at all, then what would the point be? ”
“I don’t know. But, I can’t say that I am overly connected to signs and portents in the universe.”
“Well, I tend to interpret things we can know as positive. Helpful. Because again, I don’t believe that the forces in the universe are spiteful or cruel or pointless.”
“Why do you think that you're cursed?”
“To be fair, I’m not sure that I would think that if I didn’t have a mountain of empirical evidence. Because it does sort of go against my general feeling on the powers that be.”
“You know what I think?”
“No. But I have a feeling you’re going to tell me.”
“I am. I think that life is random. And often times, desperately cruel. Hank was just pointing out that next year he’s going to be the same age our dad was when he died.
He was thirty-five. And there’s no point in purpose to that.
That’s not a falling away of something no one needed.
We needed him. And he deserved his life. ”
“I’m not arguing with you about that. My dad…
He was a good man. He was a good man who loved his wife and loved his kids, and who deserved to have more of a life than he did have.
I’m not saying that everything in the universe works out for good all the time.
But I think we always have hope. We have to.
Otherwise, what’s the point of getting out of bed? ”
“No point. Why did you come by again?”
He’d gotten so derailed by the conversation that he’d forgotten. “Oh. I found your necklace today.”
She frowned. “I didn’t realize I was missing a necklace.”
He held it up, and out toward her, a strange sensation making his spine tingle. It had been days since she’d been out to the ranch, and he hadn’t seen the necklace until today. She hadn’t realized it was missing.
It was almost as if…
No. He wasn’t going to give any credibility to that level of hocus pocus.
She reached out and grabbed the necklace, her fingers brushing his. His stomach went tight.
There was a great, clattering sound, and the two of them startled, then rushed out of the back room.
“Edgar!”
There was a seagull, dangling in front of the window, bound up in orange lights.
“He was trying to eat my Halloween lights!”
“Oh dear God,” Cooper said.
“Would you get him?”
“I should let him die,” Cooper said.
“Edgar can’t die! He’s a staple of the community.”
“He’s a pain in the ass,” Cooper said.
“Well, he’s going to break my lights. So we’ve got to do something, even if it’s not strictly to save his life.”
“I don’t want to wrestle a seagull,” he said.
“Cooper,” she said, putting her hands up, clasping them. “Please.”
He couldn’t say no to her. He just couldn’t.
Her freckled face, sparkling green eyes, coppery hair, she was just beautiful.
And he wanted to… He wanted her, but he didn’t just want her, he wanted to do something good for her.
Wanted to make her smile at him. He wanted her to tell him more about what she believed about the universe, even if he didn’t agree with her, because he liked the way that she said it.
He wanted to believe that she was right, honestly.
That there were things that worked together for good, that there were things you could know that would guide you, give you hope, give you the tools that you needed to take control of things, even if the situation was sticky.
He wanted to believe that.
And so he was going to rescue the goddamn seagull, because somehow it felt like those things connected. He charged out the front door, and Eliana went behind him. The seagull was dangling there, slapping against the window, calling piteously.
“It’s not even Edgar,” she said.
“There can’t be two of them.”
“It’s False Edgar,” she said.
The rumor was that Edgar had a son who was about half as much trouble as he was, and they had taken to calling him False Edgar around town, though this was not half the trouble of Edgar. He also had no idea how Eliana could tell the difference.
“Edgar has very particular markings,” she said. “Plus,” she continued. “He’s old. So at this point, he’s an extremely raggedy looking bird. False Edgar is quite a bit smaller, too.”
“I didn’t say anything,” he said, goosebumps prickling on his arms.
“Oh, I know, but I just felt like you didn’t understand that.”
She felt like it. More of that deep knowing, maybe.
“Well, glad I’m clear on which seagull I’m untangling.”
He squinted up at the bird.
“Do you need a ladder?”
“No,” he said. He moved toward the window and took hold of the bird’s body.
He didn’t really know another way to approach this.
The bird wiggled and squawked, and Cooper tried to hold them steady.
“Sit still, or I’m going to end up wringing your neck, and neither of us wants that.
” The seagull did not respond to being chided.
But he began to untangle him from the lights, which had a couple that had been neatly smashed. Clearly, the bird had taken it upon himself to try to devour some of the lights.
“Good Lord,” he muttered.
“Don’t do that again,” Eliana said, scolding, getting right up underneath the angry and terrified seagull.
“I fear that you might have to not put lights out, if you don’t want a chance of Edgar or False Edgar getting tangled up in them.”
“Why do they hate holiday cheer?”
“Maybe they love holiday cheer. Maybe this is their way of claiming some for themselves.”
“Well. Maybe, but it’s actually spoiling it.”
“No one ever said the seagulls were smart, Eliana.”
He set the bird down gently as soon as he was done untangling him. And False Edgar immediately flew away, flapping indignantly and broadly as he made a hasty retreat back to the skies.
“I mean, we can only hope he’s gone and scared himself away from your place permanently.”
“That would be nice. But what are the chances?”
“Probably not good, given that if there’s one thing a seagull’s going to do, it’s make itself the biggest nuisance possible.”
“Great. I’m so glad that I have a feathered nemesis.”
“I thought you liked all animals?”
“In a general sense, on principle, but I feel like maybe I don’t like this specific animal very much.” She walked up to her decimated decorations. “That little turd.”
“Well, maybe I can help figure out a way to make them a little bit more seagull-proof. So that even if he snaps at them now and again, he doesn’t go doing anything quite that extreme.”
“You think you could?”
“We probably need about twice as many hooks. Or maybe… I have an idea. I can try to fix this if you want. I think all I need is a little bit of clear plastic to strip in front of the lights, and then he won’t be able to pull them off or get tangled in them.”
She looked up at him then, like he was some kind of savior. Even if it was just a bird savior, and he couldn’t deny that it felt good.
“Yeah. Of course.”
“Thank you,” she said.
“Yeah. Of course.”
And this is where Hank was just plain wrong. Because doing things for Eliana because it was the right thing to do, that felt good. It meant something, too. And one thing he was never going to do, was take advantage of her in any way.
He would never, ever make her feel used.
That was it.