43. Liv
43
LIV
Dean teases me by running the tip of him against me a few times. I moan, my back arching from how good it feels.
Dean stills and lets out an irritable growl. “Fuck, I have to find a condom.”
“Please don’t,” I beg, lifting my hips to get contact between us again. My eyes find his. “I’m on the pill and just got checked.”
He teases us both by inching himself inside me, just barely. “You sure, sunshine? I’ve been checked and cleared, too, but I’m fine using protection if that’s what you’re more comfortable with.”
I shake my head. “I want to feel all of you,” I explain, my voice a bit desperate. “It’s been so long, and I’ve never been with someone I cared about. Please, I don’t want anything between us.”
It seems like my words are all he needs. He quickly presses our bodies together and brings his mouth close to mine. His eyes search mine for a moment. “Just tell me if it’s too much.”
I roll my hips a little, trying to force him a little deeper inside me. Now that I’m so close to finally feeling him in me, I don’t want to waste another second. He doesn’t want to either because at the same moment, his lips press to mine in a kiss that can only be described as passionate and slow. The way he kisses me makes it seem like he plans on doing it for the rest of his life. Like he knows he has all the time in the world to run his tongue along mine and memorize the feel of our mouths together.
I focus on the feel of his lips against mine as he inches himself inside me. He goes slow, giving me time to adjust to how thick he is. It hurts, but I don’t care. I want it to hurt, to feel him even after this stops as a reminder this finally happened between us. I melt underneath his touch and the way he wraps his fingers behind my neck and keeps my lips pressed to his in a kiss. The other times we’ve kissed have been intense but rushed. We were throwing weeks of pent-up tension between us into them.
It might be my mind playing tricks on me, but I hope it’s true that we have all the time in the world to do just this for the rest of our lives. He seats himself all the way inside me, our moans mingling together. He stills, his lips moving from my mouth and down my neck as he gives me a moment to adjust to all of him.
“You feel so fucking good,” he tells me, his lips moving against the sensitive skin of my neck. “Your pussy is hugging me so tight, like it’s greedy for more.”
I throw my head back on the pillow and arch my back, allowing him even deeper.
“More,” I pant, my fingernails digging into his back as he bites right below my ear.
Dean listens and begins to rock his hips back and forth in a delicious rhythm.
His lips find mine again, and I get lost in the kiss. I already knew I was falling for him. It was something completely out of my control, but now, feeling him move inside me, having him kiss me like this, I know I’m not falling.
I’ve fallen.
All I can hope for is that I continue to break down his walls enough for him to really let me in, and maybe after that, with enough time, he could fall for me, too.
I’m about to ask Dean to go faster, to give me more, but as if he can read my mind, he does it without me saying anything. He picks up pace, his hips thrusting in and out of me in a rhythm so perfect another orgasm begins to build.
“Dean.” I moan his name, feeling too many things at once as the building pressure gets even more intense.
“I know,” he responds before taking my nipple in his mouth. “I’m close, too, baby. Let me feel you come around me.”
His demand is all I need. The feeling of his fingers in my hair, his mouth around my nipple, and his dick moving in and out of me at a punishing pace sends me over the edge.
My eyes squeeze shut as my entire body feels like it combusts. I can’t open my eyes as the most intense orgasm ricochets through my body, making my toes curl and my back lift from the mattress.
“Fuck,” Dean growls before pushing himself as deep as he can and emptying himself. His entire body shakes as his body rocks against mine. Our lips meet again as we both ride the waves of the orgasm.
He makes sure that I feel every last bit of the orgasm. Only after my body stills does he pull himself out.
Before our bodies ever joined, I knew I was falling for him without him knowing. It happened slowly instead of all at once. It’s because of the way he let his guard down for me or gave me that smile of his that is so hard to earn. The times I get to see how incredible of a father he is and how he gives Clara the world. Little by little, I was falling for him. It was impossible not to. Now, the way he leans down and kisses me chastely and slowly, even after what we just did, just solidifies my heart is his.
We’re both quiet for a moment as we try to collect our breaths. I’ve never felt something so intense. Everything about what just happened was utterly perfect, and I can only hope we can do it again…and again…and again. I don’t think I could ever get enough of him.
“Sunshine.” He says it so quietly that the only reason I hear it is because the only sound in the room is that of our heavy breathing.
“Yes?” I whisper, my heart racing.
The look in his eyes gives me hope. He looks at me the way I imagine I’m looking at him in this very moment. I stare at him the way you do when you’re in love with someone. When every part of you is theirs to do with as they choose. To cherish, to break, anything.
I’ve never been in love before, but I’d bet everything I am that he looks at me like he’s falling right along with me.
He swallows, the silence between us as I wait for him to answer sending my heart into overdrive. “I want you to be happy. It’s all I fucking want. But please tell me happiness is right here in Sutten. Right here with me and Clara.”
I smile, letting myself release a slow, labored breath. It isn’t a love confession, but I know Dean enough to know how hard it has to be for him to ask me to stay. He doesn’t ask anything of anyone and hates being vulnerable, so his insistence on me staying is all I need to know that I’m not the only one with feelings involved here.
All I’ve ever wanted is to have a family. To feel like I belong. I’ve found that here. I’ve found even more. I never expected Dean and Clara to become my family, but they have. Family doesn’t have to be blood. It can be the people you choose…the people who choose you. I choose them, and I know Dean’s desperate plea for me to stay in Sutten is him choosing me. That’s all I’ve ever wanted or needed. I couldn’t be happier to know he wants me here with him and Clara as much as I want to be with them.
I grab either side of his face, making sure to meet his eyes so he knows how much I mean my next words. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be, Dean Livingston. You and Clara make me the happiest I’ve ever been. I’m here as long as you want me.”
He playfully bites at my lip. “How’s forever sound?”
I laugh, letting him pick me up and carry me to the shower. I don’t know if he actually means forever, but I hope he does.
I can’t imagine a better forever than one with Dean and Clara.