Chapter 13 #2
His words take me by surprise. I stare at him, the shock rendering me speechless. Stay with him? This dangerous, complicated man who called me pathetic and annoying? Who made me believe I was nothing more than a burden?
“What?” I breathe.
“Stay with me,” he repeats, his voice firm with conviction. “I will never betray you.”
I try to snatch my hand back, but his fingers tighten around my wrist. His grip is firm but not painful. Unbreakable.
“Let go of me.”
“No.”
“Lucian—”
“There’s nothing I want from you,” he says, cutting me off. “I just want you.”
He’s making no sense. Nothing about this makes sense. “Why?” My voice cracks on the single word. “Why would you want someone like me?”
I see a glimmer in his eyes—it’s raw and desperate, and it makes his expression grow resolute, determined.
“I want a companion,” he says finally. “And I like you.”
The casual words feel like another slap. “There’s nothing likeable about me.” I manage to wrench my hand free, and I hug Luna closer. “I’m a burden. I was a burden to my pack, and I’ll be a burden to you, too.”
He leans closer, his voice dropping to a murmur. “You are not a burden to me.”
I stare at him, trying to understand what game he’s playing. Why he’s doing this. And then, it hits me.
Pity.
He feels sorry for me.
Broken laughter bubbles up from my chest—a miserable, hollow sound that makes Luna shift nervously in my arms.
“Oh,” I gasp between breaths. “So, that’s what this is.”
“Astra—”
“You feel sorry for me.” The laughter gets worse, more unhinged. “The pathetic little wolf girl who can’t even shift. Who was so desperate for love that she fell for the first human who said nice things to her.”
“That’s not—”
“When you called me pathetic,” I continue, the laughter finally dying down into something rawer, “that was the first true thing you said to me.”
His lips press together before he says, “You’re not pathetic.”
“I am.” The words sound final. “I fell for a human who wanted to sell me so I could be bred like a farm animal. So my children could be sold as exotic pets to powerful humans who wanted shifters as slaves.”
Lucian goes completely still.
“I’m stupid and pathetic, and you were right all along. I was annoying. I kept trying to find the good in life when the truth is that there is none.”
Silence stretches between us. Luna purrs against my chest, the only sound in our little clearing.
Finally, Lucian speaks. “You trusted Andrew because he said he cared about you.”
“Yes.”
“Would you trust me if I show you that I care about you?”
Anger flares in my chest, and my voice turns sharp, cutting. “I don’t need you feeling sorry for me.” I start to stand up, and Luna hops off my lap. “If you want a charity case, go find someone else to save.”
His expression darkens instantly. “That’s not what this is.”
“What is it, then?” We’re both on our feet now, and I back away from him. “Why else would you—”
He moves fast. In the blink of an eye, his hand is cupping my jaw, and then, out of the blue, his mouth is crashing down on mine.
The kiss is fierce, desperate, nothing like the gentle touches I remember from Andrew. This is all heat and hunger and barely controlled desperation. His lips move against mine with bruising intensity, both his hands now tangling in my hair to hold me in place.
Fire explodes through my veins. Every nerve ending lights up like I’ve been electrified. My body responds instantly, traitorously, melting against him despite everything. Heat pools low in my belly, and I can’t breathe, can’t think, can’t do anything but feel.
When he finally pulls back, we’re both breathing hard. My lips feel swollen, tingling from the pressure of his mouth.
Shock courses through me—not just at what he did, but at my reaction. At the way my body is still humming with energy, still wanting more.
I hit him in the chest with both hands. “Let me go!”
He releases my head immediately, stepping back with his arms falling to his sides.
The loss of his warmth makes me feel hollow again. But the anger—the anger is real and bright and better than the emptiness.
I slap him.
The sound reverberates through the clearing, sharp as a gunshot. My palm stings from the impact, but he doesn’t even flinch. Doesn’t get angry. Just stands there, watching me with that intense gaze.
“Did that kiss feel like pity to you?” he asks quietly.
My head is spinning. My lips are still tingling, my body still buzzing with a desire I don’t understand. “What do you want from me?”
“I want you.”
I study his face, looking for the lie, the catch, the angle. Then, I feel a bitter smile spread across my lips. “You want my body.”
For the first time since I’ve known him, I see genuine shock on his face.
“Do you want to sleep with me?” I continue, my voice turning clinical. “Is that what this is about?”
“Astra—”
“Will you leave me alone if I give you my body?” I reach for the hem of my shirt, but his hand shoots out, stopping me forcefully.
“Don’t.” The word comes out as a growl.
“Why not?” I ask with false sweetness. “Isn’t that what you want?”
He grabs me by the back of my neck, pulling me forward until our lips are inches apart. His breath is warm against my face, his gaze so fiery that it makes my knees weak.
“I do want your body,” he says, his voice raspy with what appears to be honesty. “But I also want you. All of you.”
“I don’t understand.” Confusion and anger war in my chest, making my speech shaky. The way he’s looking at me, the possessiveness in his touch—it’s too much, too intense, and I don’t know what any of it means.
“That’s why I was angry.” His grip on my neck tightens slightly. Protectively. “I didn’t think Andrew deserved you.”
His gruffness sends heat racing through my veins.
“I will prove to you that I will never betray you,” he promises. “And the first thing I’m going to do is help you get revenge.”
“Revenge?” I breathe hoarsely.
“Don’t you want Andrew to know that he didn’t manage to break you?”
I try to move away from him, but his hand still grips the nape of my neck. “I don’t want to see him.” I hate that I sound so small, so broken.
“You have a soft heart,” Lucian says, his voice gentling slightly. “That’s fine. I’m cruel enough for both of us.”
“I can’t—”
“Andrew tried to kill Luna.” His voice turns sharp again, cutting. “He’s the reason you almost died. He abused your trust, made you believe you were loved.”
Tears burn behind my eyes. “I was a fool—”
“No.” The word rings out like the crack of a whip. “Just because Andrew betrayed you doesn’t make you a fool. He’s a master manipulator. He’d been grooming you for years.”
His hand moves to seize my jaw, forcing me to meet his gaze. His blue eyes are burning with an uncompromising intensity that steals my breath.
“You’re not weak,” he says, each word deliberate and fierce.
“And you’re not someone to be pitied. You are both brave and reckless.
You saved my life without hesitation. You venture into woods that terrify grown warriors.
You survived years of abuse and still managed to keep your kindness intact.
” He releases me, but I don’t move. “I don’t care whether you have a wolf or not.
I want to be with you. And I’m going to make sure nobody hurts you ever again. ”
I stare at him, a warmth unfurling in my chest at his words. But I don’t trust this feeling. I don’t trust my own judgment anymore.
I step away from him now, putting distance between us even though every movement sends aches through my healing body.
“I won’t be foolish a second time,” I say, wrapping my arms around myself. “I won’t trust anyone again.”
“I’m not going anywhere.” His tone is no-nonsense, unshakeable. “Unless you plan to outrun me, you’re stuck with me.”
He’s right. I’m barely healed, weak, and alone in the middle of nowhere. Even if I wanted to leave, where would I go? Back to my pack? They’d kill me on sight. To another human settlement? After what happened with Andrew, the thought nauseates me.
“Then, I’ll wait for you to get bored of me,” I say quietly.
“You’ll have to wait a lifetime.”
The certainty in his voice makes my heart twist in confusion. I don’t understand why he’s doing this. What could he possibly want with someone like me?
Luna chooses this moment to spring elegantly onto Lucian’s shoulder and nuzzle his neck as if she has known him forever. He reaches into his pack and pulls out some dried meat, offering it to her with gentle fingers.
I watch this interaction with growing bewilderment.
Why would this dangerous mercenary be interested in me?
I have nothing to offer. No money beyond those few silver coins I already gave him.
No skills that could benefit someone like him.
No beauty or charm that might attract a man.
He says he wants me, but I find that impossible to believe.
But then I remember his words: “I had the healers treat her before me. I know how important she is to you.”
I swallow hard. He saved Luna first. Before even treating his own injuries, he made sure my cat was alive because he knew losing her would destroy me.
The thought both warms me and terrifies me. I hold myself tighter, reluctant and scared to place my trust in anybody anymore. Why should Lucian be different?
But even as I try to build walls around my heart, I can’t stop thinking about Luna being thrown across that room. The sickening sound she made when she hit the wall. The way she went completely limp.
My precious companion suffered because of me. Because I was too stupid to see Andrew for what he really was. Because I believed his lies and walked straight into his trap.
The guilt sits in my stomach like a stone, heavy and cold. Luna trusted me to keep her safe, and I failed her. She almost died because of my stupidity.
The rest of the day passes in a strange, uncomfortable silence. My body is healed—whatever Lucian did to get me treated has worked—but I’m still sore, still weak. Simple movements leave me breathless and shaky.
Lucian notices everything.
When I struggle to sit up, he’s there, his hands steady and gentle as he helps me. When I can’t reach the waterskin, he brings it to me without being asked. When I wince trying to adjust my position, he gathers soft moss and places it behind my back with surprising care.
I don’t remember him being this gentle with me before. During our journey, he was gruff, demanding, always seeming reluctant to help. Now he moves around me like I’m made of delicate crystal, like he’s afraid I might shatter at any moment.
His actions confuse me more than his words do. This tenderness, this careful attention—it clashes with the mercenary who called me annoying and pathetic. It doesn’t match someone who would want me gone.
When I catch him watching me with those intense eyes of his, I see something there that baffles me. It looks almost like...devotion? But that can’t be right. That makes no sense.
As evening approaches, Lucian builds up the fire and prepares our meal with the same quiet efficiency I remember from our travels.
But now, I notice things I missed before, like the way he automatically gives me the best pieces of meat, the way he checks to make sure I’m warm enough, and the way his eyes track my every movement as if he’s gauging my level of comfort.
Luna, the traitor, has taken up permanent residence on either side of his neck, purring loudly whenever he scratches behind her ears. She seems completely at ease with him, more relaxed than I’ve seen her since we arrived in Turnville.
Tonight, as we sit by the fire, Luna finally abandons Lucian’s shoulders and jumps into my lap. I stroke her soft fur, grateful beyond words to feel her warm weight on me again. The steady rhythm of her breath helps calm the chaos in my mind.
The flames dance between Lucian and me, casting flickering shadows across his face. He looks different in the firelight—less like the dangerous mercenary who kills men without breaking a sweat and more like...I don’t know what. Someone who might actually care about my well-being.
But that’s dangerous thinking. That train of thought can only lead to more heartbreak, more betrayal, more pain.
And then, of course, as I sit here with Luna in my lap and the warmth of the fire on my face, it leads me to think about Andrew.
About the way he smiled while watching me get beaten.
About the collar his buyer wanted to put around my neck.
About the children they planned to steal from me and sell like common products.
The emptiness in my chest begins to fill with something else. Something harder and colder than grief.
Anger.
Not the sharp, hot fury I felt in that room, but something deeper. More patient. The kind of anger that doesn’t burn out quickly, that can sustain itself for as long as it needs to.
Andrew destroyed everything I thought I knew about love, about trust, about my own worth. He took years of my life and twisted them into weapons to use against me. He made me believe I was important to him, all the while planning to sell me like an animal.
And he almost killed Luna in the process.
I look up from my cat’s fur to find Lucian watching me. There’s an expectant expression on his face, as if he’s waiting for me to come to some conclusion.
“I do want revenge,” I say finally, my voice quiet but steady.
The words taste strange in my mouth. I’ve never wanted to hurt anyone before. Even when my pack treated me terribly, even when they were going to send me to what they thought would be my death, I never wanted revenge. I just wanted to escape.
But this is different. This isn’t about shifter politics or pack hierarchy. This is personal. Andrew made it personal when he decided I was worth more as breeding stock than as a person.
Lucian’s smile in the firelight is sharp and satisfied. “Good.”