Chapter Twenty-One #2
“No, Mom. You’re taking this just how I figured you would, which is why I never shared it with you.
I was hoping you would meet someone like Mr. Caulder and not worry so much about me.
I wanted you to have a life of your own, so you wouldn’t have time to want to control mine.
I know how my Dad died. I know. But I have to live my life the way I want. Hopefully, one day you’ll do the same.”
He then turned and walked out of the house.
* * *
“I’ve lost him, Pam,” Iris said in a sob.
“Iris. Iris, listen to me. You haven’t lost Garlan. You were upset, and now he is, too. Give him time. He probably just went for a walk on the beach to think about things.”
“I can’t believe he wants to become a stuntman,” Iris said, unable to stop her tears from falling. “I refuse to believe it.”
“At least it’s after college, and he’s not thinking about dropping out.”
Iris paused in wiping tears from her eyes.
“Does it matter when he plans to do it, Pam? There’s no way I can support him being a stuntman.
You of all people know how hard Garlan’s death was on me.
I had to go to therapy for a full year afterward to deal with my loss.
There’s no way I could lose my son to the very thing that took his father away from me. ”
“I hate to say it, but it’s not your choice.”
“Pam!”
“Just keeping it real. For a while, you’ve suspected something was bothering Garlan, and now you know what it is. From what you said, he told you it’s been a passion of his for a while. His dream. In that case, maybe it’s time for you to do something, Iris.”
“What?”
“Fully understand the depth of your grief when you lost Garlan.”
“It’s been more than twenty years, Pam. I do understand the depth of my grief.”
“I know how long it’s been, Iris, and I beg to differ on the understanding part.”
Iris frowned. “Is it so wrong for me to worry that my son, my one and only child, wants to pursue the very occupation that killed his father?”
“No. Your concerns are warranted, considering what happened to Garlan. And it’s okay for you to feel angry, to a point, and somewhat scared of what could possibly happen. But…”
“I just knew you would throw in a but,” Iris said in a snappy tone.
“Yes, I do have a ‘but,’ Iris Michaels. At some point, you’re going to have to accept something.”
“Accept what?”
“That even after twenty years, you haven’t let go of losing Garlan.”
“That’s not true. I have gotten over losing him.
It was hard. There were days I wasn’t sure how I would go on.
That’s why I got grief counseling. I’ll always appreciate you for being my main support.
Dad was just as torn up about Garlan’s death as I was.
He was the son Dad never had. From the first, they gelled so well and enjoyed doing things together. ”
“I remember.”
“Besides, I would not have begun dating again had I not been over Garlan.”
“Yes, you began dating, but look at the restrictions you placed on those affairs. You won’t let a man get past your living room.
You have the ‘talk’ with them, letting them know upfront that the fling will be exclusive with no chance of becoming permanent.
If a man were to present such a proposition to a woman, she would immediately know he only wanted a bed partner not a relationship. ”
“And what’s wrong with that, if that’s what we both want?”
“But is it? You’ve admitted that Matt might want more. We both know Karlton did.”
Iris rolled her eyes. “Karlton might have wanted more, but he wasn’t anyone I knew I could fall in love with.”
“And Matt?”
Iris was glad they weren’t on FaceTime. Otherwise, Pam would see the way her features changed with that question. Just the mention of his name did things to her. It made her recall the nights spent in his arms and the countless hours of pleasure they shared. “Matt’s becoming addictive, Pam.”
“Is he?”
“Yes, and that’s the last thing I want to happen.”
Pam didn’t say anything for a minute. “Matt is a good guy, so in my opinion, he’s the one thing you need, Iris.
I want you to think about that. However, for now, you need to come to terms with the possibility of losing your son.
Not because he wants to be a stuntman, but because you don’t want him to live the life he wants.
Only you can fix this, and you need to do so before it’s too late. ”
* * *
Iris had taken the turkey out of the oven, cooked the mac and cheese, prepared the potatoes for the potato salad and placed everything on the counter to bake the apple pie when she heard the front door open.
Garlan had been gone a couple of hours, and with night setting in, she’d begun getting worried.
She drew in a deep breath; her talk with Pam had helped. It was great having a best friend who genuinely cared about you, and wanted what was best for you. Pam had been that before she married Dillon, and since then, Dillon had become the brother Iris never had.
By the time Garlan strode into the kitchen, he’d been in the house a good twenty minutes.
Had it taken that long to compose himself enough to confront her?
There had never been a strain in their relationship before.
He used to talk to her about everything.
Granted, Dillon had been the one to talk to him about sex when he’d covered the topic with his own sons, and she’d appreciated that.
For that reason, she hadn’t been too shocked when she’d come across a pack of condoms on the floor of Garlan’s bedroom that she figured had dropped out of his wallet.
“The food smells good, Mom.”
She glanced up and stared into the face that looked so much like his father’s it made her feel both happy and sad. Happy because he’d indeed been a gift left to her by her husband, and sad because seeing Garlan often reminded her of the man she had lost prematurely. A man she had loved so much.
“And everything I’m cooking is your favorite,” she said, glad he was no longer showing any anger. However, she knew they couldn’t skirt around what had happened to make them angry in the first place.
“Can I help you make the apple pie?”
She smiled. One of his favorite chores in the kitchen had always been using the rolling pin on the dough. She had taught him how to cook and was glad he knew his way around the kitchen. “You most certainly can. I finished cooking the apples earlier.”
She leaned against the counter. “But before we get started, let’s talk.”
“I’d rather we didn’t, Mom. I’m leaving for Atlanta on Friday, and I want to spend this Thanksgiving with you, without you being mad and disappointed in me.”
Her heart nearly broke that he thought she was mad and disappointed in him, and knowing she’d given him a good reason to think that. “I’m not mad with you, Garlan. You were right.”
He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “Right about what?”
“You have to live your life the way you want,” she said. Then she tacked on, “And as long as what you’re doing is legal, it’s your choice to make.”
“But?” he asked, as if he’d known there was one coming.
There was. “But, as a mother who lost the man she loved doing the very thing you want to do, all I can ask is that you train well and be careful.”
Iris knew her husband had trained well. He’d been known in the industry as the best there was. She’d also known how careful he’d been with his stunts. He’d told her numerous times he couldn’t help but be careful because he didn’t intend to leave her a widow anytime soon. Yet, in the end, he had.
She knew from the investigation ordered by the regulatory safety agencies that the fault was not caused by Garlan, but by a defect in the car. Even with all the money she’d been awarded from the settlement, nothing had brought her husband back.
“What are you saying, Mom?”
“I’m saying, or rather asking, that you bear with me, and consider me a work in progress. I will worry, but like everything else you’ve ever decided to do, you will have my support.”
He crossed the floor and pulled her into his arms for a hug. “Thanks, Mom. You don’t know how much that means to me,” he said.
When he released her, she gave him a wry smile. “At least I have two years to prepare myself.”
“I will finish at Harvard. Even Dad got a college degree before deciding to become a stuntman.”
“Yes, he did.” Taking a deep breath, she said, “Now roll up those sleeves and let’s bake that pie.”