Chapter Forty-Four - Mirabelle
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
Mirabelle
THE WETSUIT CLINGING to my skin is the only thing keeping me warm at this time of morning as the ocean laps at my legs straddling my surfboard. I got an early start today.
I spend nearly all my time out here now, entire days lost on the water as I stare into the distance, hoping if I stay out here long enough, I might find the answers to fix everything.
The rising sun reflects off the water as the salt air soothes the anxiety wreaking havoc in my mind.
Despite it being the middle of January, my cheeks and nose are sunburned from all the hours on my board.
I haven’t left the beach house since returning from Charlotte. I’ve never been more thankful to have a private beach. It’s my sanctuary from all the noise. Tom asked if I’d like him to stay on, but his family lives in Charlotte. I can’t ask him to stay in Wilmington when I’m not leaving the house, so I told him I’d let him know if I needed his services in the future.
The ocean is glass today, leaving little possibility for any surfing, but I like sitting out here regardless.
My mother paddles up next to me, sitting up on her board.
“Good morning,” she greets, and I offer her a faint smile in response. I trail my fingers through the water as she floats a few feet away.
My mind is plagued by memories of Henry. It’s hard to find a memory he isn’t a part of because I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t hopelessly in love with him.
“I told Dad last night I think one of these days you might turn into a mermaid with how much time you’ve been spending out here.”
A short chuckle escapes me, and I shake my head at her. “I think it’d be fun to grow a tail.”
“If it happens, make sure you let me know how, so I can join you.” Mom winks, her green eyes taking on a sea-green color from the water around us.
“I wouldn’t want to be a mermaid without you,” I say, splashing her.
“C’est bon de te voir sourire.” 52
“I’ve been smiling.”
Her smile is sad. “Non tu ne faisais pas.” 53
I look back out at the horizon, noting the seagulls crying out as they soar. “Henry asked me to take him back.”
I’ve told her everything except for the conversation that took place before I asked Henry to leave that day. Honestly, I haven’t said much of anything since the photos and that recording were released.
“And you said no,” Mom infers, my silence only confirming it. “I know you’re like your dad in most ways, but you’re more like me than you know. The first time Dad proposed to me, I didn’t have an answer for him, and he left me.”
I startle, nearly falling off my board in the process. “What do you mean he left you?”
“I mean, he left. He disappeared for a week, and I waited for him to come home. Bash . . . he didn’t want to talk to me, so he told me to go, and I did. I went to Africa for six months, and his football career took off. He met another woman, fell in love with her, and then Mimi died. She told me to tell him I still loved him, and it was at her funeral I learned they were engaged.”
“Dad was engaged to someone else?” I can’t believe I’ve never heard any of this.
“Yeah, he was. I regretted not saying yes, every single day for almost four years,” Mom confirms, and I blink, staring at her. Oh my god, this is what Chris was talking about in New York.
“I thought you have been together since college?”
She chuckles, shaking her head. “That’s when we originally fell in love, but our story is a bit more complicated than that. To put it frankly, your sperm donor is a fucking idiot sometimes.”
“Gross, don’t call Dad that.” I wrinkle my nose in disgust, but my curiosity is dying to know the truth. “So what happened?”
Mom smiles, wistfully staring at the horizon. “It’s a long story.”
“I seriously have nothing but time, Mom.”
She wasn’t lying, it is a long story. Parts of it make me laugh, whereas other parts cause my jaw to literally drop in shock, and I shed more than a few tears as Mom explains just how much more there is to their story than I ever thought possible.
“I can’t believe you never said anything . . . that’s just . . . wow.”
“It all turned out the way it was meant to, but it took us a lot of heartbreak to get here, so your father and I decided we would tell you all if there were ever a reason to. Maybe we’re wrong for that, but this felt like a pretty good reason so you know it’s okay to not have everything figured out instantly.”
“But if I wait too long to figure it out, then I risk losing him forever. I don’t want Henry to be an almost in my life,” I say, understanding what Mom’s getting at.
“You’re my daughter, and I love you no matter what. Please don’t forget who you’re named after,” she says, reaching across the space between us to squeeze my hand, tears shining in her eyes.
“I haven’t.”
“I wish you could have met Mimi. She always seemed to know the right thing to say,” Mom says, and I smile at her.
“You do a pretty good job, Mom.”
~
Bailey is sitting on his phone while Hunter’s eyes are glued to the television along with our parents, watching Duke compete in the College Football Championship game. I’m reading my book, but I keep looking over at my parents sitting together on the couch. Dad has his arm wrapped around Mom’s shoulders, and normally I’d think it’s embarrassing, but now I don’t feel anything but happy for them. I never in a million years would have guessed that Dad was engaged to someone else. It’s just so weird to think of him with someone other than Mom.
There’s a fresh bouquet of flowers that was waiting for Mom when we came in from surfing. Dad’s drilled it into us our entire lives that flowers are special and shouldn’t be used only as an apology. Flowers are meant for the most ordinary of days and for doing small things for the person you care about to make them happy.
My name coming through the speakers draws my attention to the television.
“—andal with Mirabelle Walker. It seems to have made him more popular with the ladies, if you can believe it. I’ve even heard rumors Calvin Klein has reached out to him about a sponsorship. I’m fairly certain the kids are calling that big dick energy,” one of the male sports announcers says to the circle of others sitting around the table.
All of the men laugh as the one woman at the table looks disgusted.
“Have you seen the videos of women waiting outside the stadium with signs for him? I’ve never seen anything like it. It makes me think about hiring someone to leak naked pictures of me,” another says, and Hunter moves to mute the speakers, but I shake my head.
“Leave it, Hunter. It’s fine.”
He looks uneasy, but sets the remote down.
“This is a classic case where the man is praised and the woman is shamed, despite both of them having their privacy violated,” the female announcer interrupts.
She’s not wrong. I’ve been called every derogatory name in the book, and new ones are even being created to describe me.
“I’m not shaming her, but I am wondering why she never pursued a modeling career—” one of the men starts to say, but Hunter mutes the sound before he can finish his sentence.
I turn to look at him, and he stares right back at me. “I’m not listening to them talk about you that way.”
“The same way everyone else is talking about me? This isn’t going away, so we might as well stop avoiding it.” I fight the urge to go back out to the water. I need to return to the land of the living at some point. The longer I hide out, the harder it’s going to be.
“Mirabelle, he’s not avoiding it. Hunter did the right thing. You don’t need to listen to that shit,” Dad says firmly, leaving no room for argument.
“Dad—”
“No, Mira. I don’t want to listen to it either, unless you want me to end up in jail.”
Hunter offers me a reassuring smile. “I would like to point out how wrong he was, though. If any of us is going to pursue a modeling career, everyone knows it’ll be JJ.”
It’s the exact wrong thing to say, which is why it does such a perfect job of diffusing the tension.
The room erupts into laughter and Dad shakes his head at us. “How the hell did I get stuck with kids that are so much like Owen?”