Chapter 12
CHAPTER 12
Amber
I’m so stunned by everything that just happened that I can’t move. I’m pretty sure Isaac left my room, but he did not close the door. He said he wouldn’t, so I’m not surprised.
I’m not ready to stick my head out from under the covers. Having the door open makes me feel exposed. He could look in on me at any time. He could also come in. And that’s the point.
The thought of him putting a camera in the corner of my room makes me shiver. I glanced at the camera in Cassandra’s room several times earlier. It was so weird knowing that Spence and Ben were keeping tabs on us. It also made me feel oddly safe.
No one can get into my apartment. There is only one door, and Isaac has multiple locks on it. He also installed a camera outside the door so he can see whoever approaches. I know he monitors that camera even when we’re not at home.
The infuriating man just came in here and forbade me from masturbating. That’s madness. It would have shocked me even more if Cassandra hadn’t told me just this afternoon that her Daddies do not let her masturbate.
I clench my legs together. The thought of Isaac controlling my orgasms makes me irrationally horny. That’s probably the point. The fact that he heard me masturbating earlier makes my face heat. I’m mortified.
He didn’t make a big deal out of it. He didn’t laugh or tease me. He simply told me he knew. Part of me wishes he had taken that to the grave, but on the other hand, I now know with certainty he won’t keep things from me.
I’m too warm, and I need oxygen, so I slowly pull the covers away from my face. I glance at the door. It’s open several inches, but the apartment is dark. I assume Isaac has gone to bed.
It takes me forever to get my brain to slow down enough to fall asleep, but eventually, my heart stops racing, and I manage to relax.
“What the fuck are you doing, Jacob? I told you not to talk to the prisoner.”
I’m yanked out of a light sleep to the shouting. I open my eyes to find I’m alone in my prison. The door is ajar. I can see Jacob shifting his weight. His back is to me.
“All I did was give her water and a protein bar. Back off,” Jacob shouts at the man I believe is his brother.
There are four of them in total. I think Jacob is the only one who is too young to have come up with this scheme on his own. I don’t believe he’s even eighteen. The other three men are in their mid-twenties. They’re friends. I don’t know how or why they discovered me and targeted me, but they plotted this kidnapping for a while, followed me around, and took their opportunity on the night I made the poor decision to walk home from a frat party on my own.
Jacob was cocky with me for the first several hours, but he’s the one they put in charge of guarding me, and he has softened. I think he feels bad and has had a change of heart. I’m hoping I can talk him into setting me free. All he would have to do is place an anonymous call to the police and let them find me. His brother would never have to know he was the one to turn them in.
“She’s no one, Jacob,” his brother yells. “She’s nothing but an entitled rich bitch who has more money than God. Do you think that’s fair? Huh? While that bitch goes to an expensive university and wears designer clothes, the rest of us have to scrape by on pennies.”
I cringe. While it’s true that I was born to wealthy parents, that does not mean these assholes can just steal from me. It won’t make society balanced. It only makes them criminals.
“She has to eat and drink,” Jacob argues.
“She doesn’t need fresh fucking water every hour and gourmet food, Jacob. She’s our prisoner. Until her brother pays the ransom, she will stay in that room, shit and pee in that bucket, and wait. You don’t need to pamper her or wash out the bucket every time she fucking pisses.” His voice rises.
“She doesn’t deserve this,” Jacob argues. “She didn’t do anything. You don’t have to be a dick.”
Jacob’s brother backhands him so hard that Jacob slams into the door. It flies open, and Jacob lands on his ass inside my prison.
I scream.
Someone touches me, and I scream harder. My eyes are closed. I squeezed them closed when Jacob fell into the room. I don’t want any of these assholes to touch me. They disgust me. I’ve already vomited enough. I don’t need their putrid scents close to me, making me gag.
I put up my hands and fight off whoever is touching me, screaming louder. Maybe someone will hear and rescue me.
“Amber, it’s me. Isaac. You’re safe, baby. I’m here.”
Isaac? How is Isaac in my prison? I open my eyes. Sure enough, Isaac is sitting next to me. His hands are on my biceps.
“I’m here, baby. You’re safe.”
I gasp for breath, trying to make sense of my surroundings. I’m not in that basement. I’m in my bedroom in my apartment. I’m shaking. Isaac is here. He won’t let anything bad happen to me. He keeps me safe. He can’t stop the dreams, but he protects me even when I’m asleep.
He’s my bodyguard. He’s so much more than that. Why have I gone so long without admitting how I feel for him?
The covers must have slid down my torso from my flailing, and I shove them the rest of the way down my body, climb out, and crawl onto Isaac’s lap. I need him to touch me, remind me I’m safe, remind me I’m his…
I straddle him and wrap my arms around his neck, holding on tightly, gripping him as though my life depends on it.
His arms come around me. His hands are so huge that they span my entire back as he tugs me even closer. “Shhh, baby, I’ve got you.” He rubs my back and cups my bottom over and over. The touch is a constant reminder that I’m safe. Isaac has me.
I start crying. I can’t stop. My chin is pressed against his shoulder, and it hurts, but I don’t care. I want to crawl inside him. I want him to cocoon me. The only thing that can drive away the fear is my Daddy.
Isaac holds me for a long time, rocking me gently, whispering in my ear. “You’re safe.” “I’ve got you.” “No one is going to hurt you, baby.”
I whimper and burrow into him deeper as if that’s possible. My sobs reduce to sniffles eventually, and then the occasional hiccup. As I calm, reality seeps in. I’m wrapped around my bodyguard. I’m only wearing panties and a tank top. My pussy is pressed against his erection, and he’s definitely hard. He’s only wearing shorts. His chest is bare.
I finally ease back. This is so awkward, and I’m so embarrassed. I can’t look at him. I keep my head down. “I’m sorry,” I whisper.
“What are you sorry for, baby?” He’s still rubbing my back.
There is no delicate way to extricate myself from him, but I try to scoot my butt back so I’m not pressing against his erection.
One of his hands slides to my face to cup my cheek. “Look at me, baby.”
I shake my head like a toddler.
“Amber, baby, look at Daddy.”
My breath hitches. I can’t disobey him. I slowly tip my head up.
He smiles. “Good girl. Don’t retreat from me, baby.”
“I was… I shouldn’t have… The dream…”
He covers my lips with two fingers. “Always so many excuses,” he teases. “Can’t you just wrap yourself around me because you want to and it feels good without needing to explain yourself?”
My face heats. “I don’t know how,” I whisper. I don’t know how to let my guard down and change things with Isaac. “What if I mess things up? What if I ruin what we have by trying to take more?”
“What if you don’t mess things up, and nothing gets ruined, and instead, you end up with a man who’s everything to you—Daddy, lover, protector, and friend?”
I gulp. A tear runs down my cheek. “What if you change your mind?”
“What if I don’t?” He lifts a brow. I can see his expression clearly. He must have turned on the lights in the hallway before he rushed into my room to save me from my demons.
“Love has risks, baby, but they say it’s worth it.”
“Have you ever been in love before?”
“Nope.”
I give him a slight smile. At least he’s honest, and we’re equal.
His hands come to my back and my bottom. “Hold on, baby.”
I grip him with my arms around his neck.
He stands and carries me into the bathroom, where he sets me on the vanity and reaches for a washcloth. He keeps one hand on my waist as if I might fall without his support. It’s not necessary, but nothing about the things Daddies do is usually necessary. It still feels good.
I feel cherished while I watch him wet the cloth, wring it out, and bring it to my cheeks. I stare at him while he gently wipes my face, carefully avoiding the bandage still covering my chin.
I wince when he gets close to it.
“Sorry, baby.” He leans over and gently kisses my booboo over the bandage. His eyes are dancing when he tips my chin back. “You know, Cassandra is probably sleeping on her stomach tonight for spinning in circles and encouraging you to do so also.”
My breath hitches. “Really?” I squirm on the counter at the thought of Cassandra being spanked. I also feel kind of bad about it.
Isaac kisses my cheek. “I’m sure of it, and spinning in pretty dresses until you get dizzy is definitely going on your naughty list of rules tomorrow.”
“I don’t have any pretty dresses,” I murmur.
“We’ll get you some. Bright, pretty colors.”
I bite my lip. I sort of like the idea, but I’m scared. “What if I’m not good at being Little?”
“Baby, I hate to burst your bubble, but you’ll be good at being Little. You just haven’t let yourself try it until today. We won’t really know what age range you’ll be comfortable in or how much time you want to spend in that headspace until we experiment, but we’ll figure it out. I promise.”
“How can you be sure?”
“Daddies know these things.” He scoops me off the counter, forcing me to wrap my legs around him again. He flips off the light in the bathroom and carries me to my bed.
I whimper when he leans over to settle me.
When Isaac turns to walk away, I lift onto my elbows in a panic. “Daddy…” I don’t want him to leave me here.
He spins back around, bends over to cup my face, and kisses my forehead. “I’m just going to turn off the hall lights, baby. Be right back.”
I’m panting as he walks away. “Can you leave the lights on, please, Daddy?”
He stops at the door. Instead of going through it, he pulls it partway closed, dimming the light without extinguishing it. He returns to me. “How’s that, baby?”
“Good.”
“I’ll get you a nightlight in the morning. I bet you’ll sleep better with one.”
I nod. He’s probably right. On the nights when I have bad dreams, I always bolt awake, confused. It takes me a while to get my bearings because it’s so dark in my room.
He pulls the covers up my body, sits on the edge of the bed, and strokes my hip. “Better?”
I nod. “Yeah, but…”
“But what, baby?”
“Please, will you stay?” It doesn’t seem fair to ask him, but I really need him with me.
“Of course, baby.” He rounds to the other side of the bed and climbs up to settle next to me over the covers like he did earlier.
I turn my head toward him. “Under the covers, Daddy.” I know I’m hovering in Little space, but I can’t help it. I’m not asking him to fuck me. I’m asking him to hold me.
He lifts his torso and tugs the covers out from under him before pulling them up over us. When he’s finished, he drops onto his side and reaches for me. He turns me so I’m facing away from him and drags me into his arms, spooning me.
No one has ever spooned me like this before. I feel ten times safer and more relaxed with his arms around me, holding me close. I’m also aware of his erection against my ass, but he doesn’t mention it.
It occurs to me that we’ve never kissed. Isaac is in my bed, holding me. Very little clothing exists between us, but we’ve never kissed. We’re way out of order. Then again, everything about our relationship is out of order. Or maybe it’s just on the slow track.
Two years we’ve been together and never crossed the lines we’ve stepped over a dozen times since last night. So many things have happened today that I’m exhausted. I don’t even know what time it is. Maybe it’s tomorrow, but I don’t think I was asleep very long before I slid into that dream.
“Do you want to tell me about the nightmare, baby?” he asks softly against my neck.
I lick my lips and whisper, “Sometimes, I dream about what happened that week.”
He strokes my hair. “When you were kidnapped?”
“Yeah. Lately, I’ve been having those dreams more often. I guess because Jacob was released.”
“Are you scared he’ll come after you, Amber?”
“No. My intelligent mind says no. I don’t think he’ll seek revenge. I don’t think he ever liked what his brother and his friends did to me. He went along because he didn’t have a choice. He was just a kid. I don’t know why I wake up in a cold sweat over it. It’s not logical. I have no reason to be afraid.”
I love how he drags his fingers through my hair over and over. “Nightmares are rarely logical. Your subconscious mind has every reasonable right to be nervous about the release of one of your captors, no matter how kind he might have been.”
“Yeah, Millie said the same thing.”
“Millie is smart,” he teases.
Neither of us says anything for a while, and then I murmur, “I’m not being fair to you.”
“That’s not true. What do you mean?”
“It’s not nice of me to ask you to sleep with me if I’m not intending to have sex with you.”
He cups the opposite side of my face, careful not to touch my booboo, and turns me so that he can look into my eyes. “There is no place in the world I’d rather be than nestled up to you in bed, Amber. I don’t care how long it takes for us to move our relationship into something more physical. We’ll get there when the time is right. In the meantime, if you let me, I’ll sleep with you every night for the rest of eternity.”
I purse my lips and stare at him for a long time, trying to read him. Is he bullshitting me? It doesn’t seem like it. I finally say, “Okay. I’d like that, please.” After having him next to me earlier, my bed felt empty and lonely without him.
“Sleep, baby,” he murmurs against my hair. “I’ve got you.”