Church #2
I didn’t let her finish, because she was clearly confused if she thought she could talk about me like I wasn’t present, in my face.
“I’ma stop you right there,” I admonished.
“Let me explain something to you. My name is Church. I’m not the damn church.
I promise you, you don’t want these problems. Watch who the hell you’re low-key threatening because I don’t take threats lightly. ”
Jones spoke up in a harsh but quiet tone.
“First of all, stop running your fucking mouth. Why the hell do the people in this town know anything about us?” He shook his head.
“I don’t like big-mouthed women unless they’re sucking my dick.
Otherwise, you need to keep your shit closed about what me and you do.
Getting your face fucked on a dirt road behind a barn ain’t the flex you must think it is.
Why would you go around bragging about some dumb shit like that? ”
The booth fell into an uncomfortable silence that was only broken by the appearance of our waitress at the table.
Once we’d placed our orders and handed the menus to the waitress, Jones picked up the conversation. “Church, how’d you get into making beard oil?”
“Mari.” I laughed.
“Mari?” Both Jones and Lex repeated.
“Yeah. When I bought my house, there were all these apple trees on the property. At first, I was gonna make apple pies or apple cakes and try to sell them at one of the restaurants in the lodge. I went to Mari to get a good recipe.”
“My degree is in Chemistry with a concentration in Food Science. I worked for the Maple Acorn Food Company in research and development. And I hated it. The stuff they produce is full of sodium, hidden sugars, dyes, and chemicals. The pay was good, but I felt bad about helping them walk consumers right into diabetes and hypertension. I wanted to do something different. So when Church came to me about apple cakes and pies, it felt like my way out.”
“Mari nixed the cake and pie idea real quick,” I said with a laugh.
“Ugh, I was trying to get away from food. My first thought was skin care.”
“But I thought if we could make skin care with apples, we could make black hair care. I mean, two of my sisters are hair stylists. So I did the research and found out that I could.”
“And my uncle’s wife is from a hair care dynasty,” Mari added.
“Damn, I know y’all make good business partners because y’all finish each other’s sentences and shit.” Jones shook his head.
“They damn sure make good business partners,” Lex said. “That beard oil is the motherfuckin’ truth. When I tell you that I can’t keep it in stock, I’m not playing.”
“Um. One of my guy friends tried your beard oil.” Jenna pretended to concentrate on something on her phone. “He said it broke him out.”
“Who?” Mari asked, immediately defensive.
I chuckled. “I think you were trying to shade me, but Mari caught that stray. The formulas are all her. She’s the chemist. I’m front of the house.”
“Right, so what exactly broke him out? The apple puree? The combination of rose hip and grapeseed oils? The jojoba oil? The vitamin E oil? Our products are one hundred percent all-natural, with no additives or chemicals. So what broke him out, Jenna?”
“Aww, shit, ya girl done pissed Mari clean the fuck off,” Lex instigated.
“She ain’t my girl.” Jones shrugged. “She’s on her own. She came to the table, talking shit. She gotta take what they give her.”
“I don’t know. I’ll have to ask him.” Jenna rolled her eyes.
“Do that, and let me know. We want to make sure we’re creating a superior product. If somebody is suffering an adverse effect, we wanna know.”
“You know I fuck with the beard oil, the serum, and the pre-shave.” Lex changed the subject. “What else you got in your line that I might like?”
“That’s Church’s department. She comes up with the product ideas. I come up with the formulas to make the products happen.”
I grinned at Mari. “Yin and yang.” We slapped each other a high-five across the table.
Lex laughed. “Lame asses.”
“So fucking corny.” Jones chimed in.
We waved both men off. “Okay, for men,” I said, getting back to the question that Lex asked me.
“Y’all aren’t washing hair at the barbershop, so you don’t need any of our shampoos or conditioners.
If a guy has a ’fro and kinky hair, you could always introduce the leave-in for extra moisture. Our formula is everything.”
Mari patted herself on the back. “Yes. I definitely broke the mold on our apple leave-in conditioner. There is no competition.”
“That’s right, boo,” I co-signed. “Talk your shit. We have Apple Locs. It’s our moisturizing loc mist with rose hip, argan oil, and coconut water. Ooh, and—”
“Damn, is the whole conversation gonna be about hair care? There has to be something more interesting we can talk about.”
Mari eyed her friend. “Friend, as many times as I’ve sat patiently and listened to you give me blow by literal blow details about your rendezvous with random cowboys, I know you can let Church and me shop talk for five minutes.”
Jenna stuck out her tongue and pretended to twerk in her chair. “My rendezvous be interesting. This shit about shampoo and serum is the boringest.”
“Uh, after listening to you tell me about the ten thousandth time you let a dude bust in your mouth, then spit it back on his dick, only to lap it up—that shit ain’t interesting.
Your sexual escapades be very damn predictable and routine, Jenna,” Mari deadpanned.
“Sometimes I wonder if that’s why you’re always with somebody new.
Do the old ones get bored with you throwing it in a circle exactly five times? ”
“Damn, all this before breakfast?” Lex asked. “Back to your fucking corners. Mari, you hittin’ below the fuckin’ belt.”
“Hittin’ below the belt? Mari’s ass gotta TKO.”
“Fuck you, Mari.” Jenna gave her the middle finger.
“Nah, I’m too adventurous in bed for you, doll.”