Chapter 6 - shifting hues
We're departed the shore, and everyone's having a good time. Island hopping is the plan, but we heard we can't hit all the islands since it's already kinda late. So, we're just gonna check out two and make the most of it.
Understandable since 3pm na, and late na talaga.
I am eating a bag of chips, sabi ko I won't eat muna since I haven't taken a picture of me in this outfit, and baka bloated ako tignan kapag nag two piece mamaya. But boredom keeps hitting me.
Nakaupo ako ngayon sa sofa, and the couple is sitting in front of me. Wala naman akong choice since all of them are here, baka mapaghalataan ako.
Ganon pa rin ang pwesto nila, nakaakbay si Ryan, while Iris is... I don't know if she's asleep or awake. Naka sunglasses kasi ito, kaya hindi makita.
I'm constantly taking a glance of them, and it's weird kasi hindi ko naman ginugustong tignan sila. But it seems like my eyes knows what they wanted.
"Ay ang cute n'yo d'yan!, picture ko kayo dali!" It was Kiro, he's offering them a photoshoot.
I immediately looked away, pretending I hadn't seen or heard anything.
"Oh thank you so much." Iris handed her phone to Kiro.
I'm not quite sure if I really did saw Ryan staring at me, or my mind is messing with with me again.
Kiro is about to take a pictures, he's ready. May pa luhod luhod pa, and the two did their poses.
"Hoy Kiro, tulungan mo muna ako dito ang bigat!" Si ralph na may nakakagat atang malaking isda sa fishing rod n'ya.
Tumayo naman agad si Kiro, at ang akala ko na ibabalik n'ya ang phone kay Iris....
"Doc, ikaw na lang muna mag picture sa kanila." Damn it.
Wala na akong magawa, so I composed myself and tumayo na agad.
I clicked it as fast as I can, wala na akong pake kahit blurred pa lahat 'to. Sana kumuha na lang sila ng photographer no??.
I handed the phone back to Iris, and hindi na ako bumalik sa inuupuan ko. Bumaba ako para tumambay sa jacuzzi.
Hindi ko alam if inis o selos ba ang nararamdaman ko. Sana pala nag premium na lang kami. First regret for this trip.
I decided na hindi ako sasama sa kanila sa pagbaba mamaya, hindi naman ako mag e enjoy in the first place. So I just went to the bathroom para magpalit ng swimwear, dahil balak kong tumambay sa jacuzzi.
With earpods on, cocktail beside me, and lychee flavored vape. I'm comfortably soaking my body in this warm jacuzzi, with this calming view.
This is peace. Kahit kasama namin ang peace-ti.
"May I join you?" I heard someone as I removed my earpods. I turned around, it was Xylla.
"Sure, get change. Sayang outfit mo." I suggested, naka beach dress pa kasi s'ya.
"No need, I'm just gonna sit here. I won't soak my body."
Inangat n'ya ang dress n'ya, revealing her flawless legs. And sat at the corner.
"malapit na daw tayo sa first stop, bakit nag jacuzzi ka pa?" She asked.
"I won't come. I'll stay here na lang."
She wasn't surprised with my answer, and it surprised me.
"I'll stay with you then." She simply said.
She did not even bother to ask why, which is very odd.
"No, okay lang ako. I'm having a good time here."
"It's okay Zar, Island hopping is the least thing I wanted when it comes to beach activities."
I went silent, and move closer to her. I don't know but whenever I'm with Xy, I'm so comfortable. Maybe that's because she's been real to me since always.
"come" She pulled me even closer, I'm now between her thighs. Her hands wrapped around my shoulder.
"I didn't know nag gaganyan ka pala." She said.
"What?" I looked at her, confused.
"Vape."
Oh... she saw the vape lying on the floor. I quickly grab to hide it, as it is prohibited.
"what? it's not a bad thing." she calmly said when she saw me hiding it.
"I know, pero baka makita nila. It is strictly prohibited." I explained.
"driven by life?" There she goes again, asking logical questions.
"While some people doing it for fun, most of them are doing it for something else. So what's yours?"
Now I see. She was talking about the vape, and probably my love for drinks.
"Nothing. Nag e enjoy lang ako sa ganito."
"Really?"
"Yes."
For a moment, there was an awkward silence between the two of us.
Then, she started kicking the water, splashing it all over me.
I starred at her, giving her a look of revenge.
I started splashing the water, at bumawi naman s'ya. We keep teasing each other for a moment, pure fun.
"Aw... Wait" I complained, covering my eyes. She immediately understood, and pulled me closer.
Nasa tubig parin ako, while she's still sitting on the corner, ang paa n'ya nakababad parin sa tubig.
She quickly grab my face, checking everywhere.
her face was filled with guilt and concern. "Sorry, does it hurt?"
"no it's fine, it's just water."
She constantly rubbing my face, checking my eyes. Is she for real? She is having a teary eye, omg. I didn't know she's such a softy.
I let her do what she wants, baka gumaan ang nararamdaman n'ya. I think she feels bad.
Her eyes were locked with mine, we both didn't make a move. Titig lang sa isat isa, while she keeps softly rubbing my face.
Ilang inches na lang ang pagitan ng mukha namin, I can already feel and hear her breath.
It's getting closer and closer, in just a blink of an eye, she kissed my eyelids.
I immediately pushed her away, and I didn't even know why I pushed her. But I can feel someone's presence. That's when I realized someone was looking.
She stood silently in the corner of the stairs, her expression a complete void as she stared at us, her eyes reflecting nothing but an unnerving emptiness that made my heart skip a beat.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to intrude on what you were doing. Mag c-cr lang ako, but they told me to pass by to inform you guys na mag ready na daw." she explained, and left us hanging.
"Chiara is her name, right?" Xylla asked.
"Yes." I replied instantly, that's when I realized. "I mean, I heard from Kiro." I quickly made an explanation.
"Ang cold n'ya, no? She's like a woman statue carved from ice."
"We don't know. Maybe that's just her walls."
"What do you mean?"
"Maybe she's like...like a rose. She wears thorns as armor-only those who seek her fragrance may find the bloom beneath the barbs. Just like how the the locked chest can only be open with right keys." I defended her. I didn't realize I was already splitting to much words.
"or maybe, that's just how she is. Cold, and emotionless. Just like an abandoned rose, hmm?" Xylla's response was filled with something I can't even explain.
"We'll never know, Xy."
"Oh, still having a good time?" Iris interrupted. Paakyat na s'ya sa taas, we didn't even notice na nakalabas na s'ya ng cr.
"hindi kami sasama." Xylla responded.
Our eyes met for a split second, and I saw something in her gaze that told me how deadly that look is.
"Okay then." two words, simple, empty. Just like that, she turned her back and went upstairs, without looking back.
"Sumama ka na sa kanila, Xy."
"no, I'm fine here."
"Sige na, please." I insisted.
She immediately got up, fixed her dress. She smiled at me before she left, so did I.
A deep sign came out as I went back for some relaxation. Trying to convince my thoughts not to think about her.
I feel like I'm in a loop. Paulit ulit na lang lahat ng nangyayari. I feel like there's no progress at all, it's stays the same. Everything stays the same.
But earlier, when she gave me that gaze. It left me thinking. She did saw us, but I'm not sure if that look consist with jealousy, or nothing at all.
Hindi ko na alam. She keeps driving me crazy, everytime.
I felt something when Xylla was kissed my eyelids. Casual lang naman 'yon, no big deal. But why does it feel like.... Like I'm cheating on her?.
"Sis, are you sure you're not going with us?"
Ate Yana broke my silence.
They are all staring at me, waiting for my response. But my eyes kept on looking for that one certain person.
"Y-yeah. I'm fine here Ate. Don't worry about me." I assured her.
"Ma'am, nandon po sa taas si ma'am Chiara. Nagpa iwan narin si Ma'am Ria para may kasama pa rin kayo dito, para ma monitor na rin si Miss Chiara." Kuya Jason informed me.
Monitor kay Iris? what does that even mean? may nangyari kaya?
"Sige, mauna na kami. Please stay on board, if aalis man po kayo much better na ipaalam n'yo kay ma'am Ria." He added, and was about to leave together with others.
"Wait! What happened bakit nagpaiwan si I.... Si Chiara?" I asked.
Ryan stepped up to answer. "Sprained. While going upstairs kanina, ang kulit kasi ayaw magpasama."
Was it right after she left here? If so, then bakit wala kaming narinig or nakita na napano s'ya?
"Tara na po. Ingat kayo dito ma'am." Kuya Jason handed me a key. "Lock the rooms po kapag magpapahinga kayo."
I accepted the keys, and smiled at then as they left. They were all waving me a goodbye, and wearing the most genuine smile.
After they left, umahon na ako and quickly wore my cover-ups. I immediately went upstairs to check on her.
Though I have promised myself not to get involve with her again....for the mean time. But fuck that promise. I can't bare to just knowing that she's not well. The urge of taking care of her is still there-perhaps it never even vanished.
As reached the skybridge in a rush. I saw Ria massaging her ankle. I wanted to push her away from Iris, and take care of her myself. But I know I can't do that. Wala akong kaparatan na gawin 'yon.
"Ma'am, nagpaiwan ka rin pala." Ria noticed me.
Tapos na siguro s'ya sa pag ayos kay Iris, dahil tumayo na ito. She's already packing her things.
Since alam ko na nasa mabuting lagay na s'ya, I decided to go back sa Jacuzzi. I can't be in the same room with just her. I mean, yes nandito si Ria. But as long as she's here. It doesn't matter how crowded the place is, dahil s'ya parin naman ang hahanapin ko.
"Ahm, ma'am samahan n'yo po muna si Ma'am Chiara. Kailangan ko pong ayusin ang mga gamit sa baba, just in case may gantong emergency ulit." Ria requested.
Agad naman akong nagulat, I was too hesitant to say yes. But too afraid to say No.
Without even waiting for my response, she left. Leaving this woman with me. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko, ang awkward.
Pumunta ako sa railings ng yate, nakatayo ako dito ngayon. Hindi ko na s'ya pinansin pa, alam ko rin naman ang mangyayari.
"are you not cold?" She asked, and I must admit. I was surprised.
I turned around, and noticed how she unwrapped her ankle, na parang walang nangyari.
"hey, mas better if hayaan mo na muna 'yan."
"It's fine, sprain lang 'to."
I didn't mind her that much, tumalikod lang ako ulit.
"Wow, talagang hindi mo pinansin tanong ko." She mumbled.
"What is it again?"
"Are you not cold? mag bihis ka."
that's when I noticed, naka swimsuit parin pala ako. I forgot I just went here to check on her, hindi para tumambay.
I quickly turned around, and was about to leave when...
"Join me in jacuzzi."
When she said those words, nagulat ako. Bakit naman s'ya mag aaya? what does she want from me now?
"sorry, magbibihis na ako." without hesitation, I said those words.
She shrugged "Okay, no problem." nag walk out s'ya, iniwan ako dito sa taas.
Despite rejecting her invitation, hindi mawala sa isip ko ang pag-aalala. Earlier na sprain s'ya, now gusto n'ya mag jacuzzi. Baka mapano 'yon doon.
Hayaan ko na lang, malaki na s'ya. Kaya n'ya naman sarili n'ya.
I went to the bar counter to make myself a drink.
I made another cocktail, 2 ang ginawa ko. Para sa kanya sana 'yong isa, pero 'wag na lang.
It's been almost one hour, and hindi pa rin sila nakabalik. Kahit si Iris, hindi pa nakabalik dito sa taas.
I decided to check on her, kaya plano kong bumaba na lang. I grabbed my drink, and was about to leave.
"Holy...." I whispered, as I saw her wearing a swimsuit that perfectly fits her. It's seems like it was perfectly made for her.
Damn... She's gorgeous.
"Close your mouth."
I quickly came back to reality, I just realized my mouth is nearly open. She can't blame me though, she's hot.
I turned around, tried to act fool. Kahit nakakahiya sobra.
"oh you're shy now?" She came to me closer... and closer.
What is this? why is she acting like she didn't broke me into pieces last night? Is she teasing me?
I took a 3 steps back, pero hindi s'ya natinag. She keeps walking closer, and closer. As if she wants to close the distance between our faces.
She's not holding my chin. Hindi ko alam paano gumalaw kapag hawak n'ya ako. My brain told me not to get distracted, but my body is in statue.
"Last night... you begged" she's saying those words, slowly, and soft. "now, you're like a cockroach hiding from me."
My heart beats rapidly. Parang nag x3 ang pag pump ng puso ko. I couldn't do anything.
"I... I hate you. You're torturing me right now. Don't you know that?". With a cracked voice, I managed to say these words.
"torture? by doing nothing?" She whispered in my earlobe, giving me butterflies.
Oh god....
"Doc! we're back!!!" I heard Kiro's voice. They're here.
Kumalas ako sa hawak n'ya, dahil baka may makakita pa samin. But it did not even bothered her. She held me tightly than earlier.
"wear your clothes, your hands feels like Ice. ." She whispered, and let go of me.
She didn't lie. Nanlalamig ang kamay ko,... at dahil 'yon sa kanya.
My sister is running towards me. "Sisssy!! we had sooooo much fun!" She hugged me.
"I missed youu" She added.
"Tell me about everything.". I replied.
"I'm too tired, later na lang" She gave me a smile, at pumunta agad sa bar counter for some drinks.
"kamusta ka dito?" Xylla asked.
"I'm good, nag enjoy naman ako somehow."
"wanna make drinks with me?"
I nodded, at hinawakan n'ya ang kamay ko papunta sa counter.
"nakarami kana ba?" She asked while pouring some alcohol in her glass.
"4glass, cocktail lang naman."
"Everyone, please wear your gear na po. Malapit na tayo." The tour guide informed us.
I pause for a moment. "why? I thought 2nd stop pa?" I asked. Almost 5 minutes pa lang since nakaalis kami sa 1st island ah?
"They all agreed po na isang island na lang vivisit natin."
"It's okay sis. Besides, nakakatamad mag island hop." Ate yana added.
"Na ready na po namin ang mga gear n'yo na gagamitin. Pumili na lang po kayo doon." tinuro ni kuya Jason ang mga gear na nasa tabi ng counter.
Agad naman pumunta ang iba at pumili ng kanya kanyang gamit. Hinayaan ko muna sila mamili, bago ako kumuha.
"Hindi ka kukuha?" I asked Xylla dahil nakatitig lang ito saakin.
"No, I don't need one." She confidently said.
I almost forgot, she is a professional free diver. That's a fun fact about her. She is an adventurous woman, wala atang hindi kayang gawin 'to.
"Ang yabang." I smirked and bump her shoulder.
"Go get yourself a gear." She ordered me.
"I don't need one." I mimicked her, and she just laughed.
"I don't need one, hindi ka nga marunong lumangoy." Now she's mocking me, hmm?
"Mag aaya ng beach, she doesn't even know how to swim." She added, and ran away from me.
I chased her, nagpahabol naman ito. Paikot ikot kami naghahabulan ngayon sa yate, dahil ayaw ko rin naman syang tigilan.
"Xyllaa!" I yelled at her in annoyance dahil hindi ko man lang s'ya maabutan.
"Aww." I complained when Iris grabbed my arm nang mapadaan ako sa sofa na inuupuan n'ya.
"Will you guys stop acting like a kid?" She's not giving me a death stare.
Normally, I hate it when people interrupt my laughter. I would definitely going to rebut the most unthinkable rebuttal they could ever hear. But this woman.... para akong de-remote control. At s'ya ang may hawak.
"Doc, gusto mo ba trade na tayo?" Ralph suddenly asked, when he saw me looking at the goggles left. White, and Red.
I hate color Red. And I don't want to pick the white one.
Hindi pa kasi nakakapili si Iris, and I know how much she loves white.
"Here." He showed me his White goggles.
I smiled, and gave him the Red one, in exchange for the White.
I then saw Iris approaching, kukuha din ata s'ya ng gamit.
She picked the white one.
I knew it, she hasn't change much. I still knows what her favorite color is. She's still that Iris.
"Hon, palit tayo." Binigay n'ya kay Ryan ang goggles n'ya, Ryan's color was Red.
What!?!
She picked the color Red... over the white one? That's odd.
She used to hate that color.
"Why Red?" hindi ko na natiis, at tinanong ko na ito.
"It's my favorite color." She simply said.
"oh." only words I could say.
I thought I knew her. Really knew her. But time plays tricks.
Now, I see I was wrong. I don't know her anymore.
Not even her favorite color. She used to hate red.
It was the color of the car that killed her dog, air.
She loved white. I wore a white shirt when we met.
She said I looked good in it. Now? I don't know what colors she likes.
It hurts. It's like she's a stranger. We grew apart. And I missed it.
I did not make it a big deal. It's just a.... color.
I just chose some Fins to wear, and there's only 2 left.
I gave her the Red one. Thinking she's just in a mood to go for dark today.
"I don't wear Fins." A cold response from her.
She refused....and left.
It wasn't just colors. Even the things she loved changed.
She used to love diving with fins. She said it felt like swimming with the fishes, free and happy.
Now? She won't even touch them. Something changed her.
Something took away those things from her.
And I don't know what it is. It's like another piece of her is gone-perhaps she just hide it from me? Who know...