Chapter 2 #3
Bernie had just washed her hands in the Walmart bathroom in Duncan when her phone rang. She saw that the call was coming from her sister, Vernie Sue, so she hit the accept icon and took the call out into the store where her cart waited.
“Hey, how was church this morning? Did you get dehorned, saved, and sanctified for the whole week, or do you need a revival to get your soul in order for the judgment day?” she asked as she sat down on a nearby bench.
“Bernadette, you are going to hell for talking that way,” Vernie Sue scolded in her best self-righteous voice. “It’s past time for you to be thinking about where your soul will spend eternity.”
“I figure you’ve prayed enough for me through the years that I’ve got a good fightin’ chance of gettin’ my foot in the door.
Once that happens, I can talk my way inside.
” Bernie chuckled. “I haven’t heard from you since you told me to leave the last family reunion I came to.
Why are you calling today?” She heard a long, loud sigh and then nothing for several seconds, and pulled the phone away from her ear to see if her sister had ended the call.
I miss the old landlines where you got a loud click in the ear when someone hung up on you, Bernie thought.
“Is Clara there?” Vernie Sue asked bluntly. “She told me and her mother that if she was going to get the name of being like you, then she would have the game. So, did she come to that horrible bar or not?”
“Why do you want to know?” Bernie shot back.
“Just answer the question…please,” Vernie Sue said.
“Since you said ‘please,’ I would guess that the preacher’s sermon this morning was on loving your neighbor, which can translate to loving your sister unconditionally.”
“Is she or not?” Vernie Sue raised her voice a notch.
“Again, why do you want to know? Is she lost or has she been kidnapped? Have you filed a police report? You tell me what is going on.”
“She threw a hissy fit, a lot like you used to do when you were mad. Anyway, she showed up here yesterday morning, and when her mother and I tried to talk sense to her, she stormed out. We haven’t heard a word since then, and whether we agree with her decisions or not, we would like to know where she is,” Vernie Sue said.
Sucking on a lemon couldn’t have taken the smile off Bernie’s face. “What did you say or do to make her that angry? Did you get out the soapbox and preach at her? Or did you open up your arms and tell her that you loved her?”
“Okay, okay!” Vernie Sue shouted. “She could show up at your place in the next couple of days. Would you call me if she does?”
Bernie hesitated so long that she could imagine her twin sister tapping her foot on her perfectly polished hardwood floors—in the house that she inherited from their parents.
“Well?” Vernie Sue finally said.
“No, I won’t. Not until you tell me the whole story as to what you did to upset her.” Bernie waved at Clara who passed by on her way to the ladies’ room.
“She’s been working in a bar, and got fired, and packed all her stuff in that old rattletrap of a car of hers and came back up here to Fritch looking for a place to live until she could get on her feet,” Vernie Sue answered and then there was a long pause.
Bernie thought of Vernie Sue’s daughter Mary Jane, living in an old brothel in an almost-ghost town. She had brought her two youngest daughters back home when one of them needed a change, let them live in the Paradise rent free, and even got them jobs teaching at a nearby school.
Vernie Sue finally went on. “Her mother and I had a talk with her, and it didn’t set well. She said that she would come to Oklahoma and see if you would give her a job. Don’t you dare take her in!” she warned in the bossy tone that Bernie remembered all too well.
Bernie laughed out loud. “That ship already sailed. One twin sister’s trash is another sister’s treasure. She will be working in my bar and living with me.”
“You can’t do that,” Vernie Sue screamed.
“A bad time to tell someone that they cannot do something is when they already did it,” Bernie said. “Y’all come on over to Ratliff City and see me some time, but only for the next six weeks. After that, I will be living in Spanish Fort in Mary Jane’s backyard with my new attack dog, Pepper.”
Vernie Sue gasped so loudly that Bernie thought she might have stroked plumb out. “Don’t you dare die over this,” she said, “or I will wear a red sequin dress to your funeral that’s cut down to my belly button in the front, and up to my hip on the right leg.”
“I cannot believe that we came from the same parents. Mama would be so ashamed of you,” Vernie Sue scolded.
“I recognize a guilt trip when I hear one, and I’m not interested in going on one at my age.
You have a wonderful day, Sister Vernie Sue.
I see Clara coming out of the bathroom, and we have a lot of shopping to do today to get ready for our big July Fourth bar bash tomorrow.
You and Marsha should come over and join us.
I’ll give you the friends and family discount on all your drinks. ”
“I’d rather eat dirt,” Vernie Sue snapped.
“Then, darlin’…” Bernie dragged out the last word in such a sarcastic tone that it even gave her chills.
“I pray that whatever you scoop up in the backyard for Sunday dinner hasn’t been used for a litter pan by one of your cats.
” Bernie knew she was irritating the hell out of her sister, but it felt so good that she didn’t care.
“Bye now, and remember you are always welcome at my place, even if you wear a religious T-shirt.”