Chapter 59
fifty-nine
LIAM
Half an hour later, I stood in the corridor outside Amy’s classroom. “Do you think she’ll be all right?”
Paul peeked around the edge of the doorframe. “I hope so. She looks happy.”
I took a step forward and quickly scanned the front of the room. Amy and her teacher were smiling, so everything must be okay.
I was so proud of the way Amy had walked into the classroom. No one looking at her would have known she was nervous.
Her buddy for the day was a girl called Annabelle. She’d shown Amy her desk and raced out of the classroom to show her the bathrooms. When Amy came back, she’d given Paul and me a quick hug before telling us we could go home.
I moved out of the doorway. “I think we should go now. Otherwise, someone will arrest us for being emotional stalkers.”
Paul wiped his eyes. “I’m not crying. I’ve got an allergy.”
“Of course you have. Would a cup of coffee help? ”
“I hope so.”
“Come on. I know somewhere that serves the best coffee in Sunrise Bay.”
As we walked toward my truck, I kept a careful eye on Paul. On the way here, he’d worn his happy face, chatting with Amy as if nothing momentous was about to happen. He’d shaken Amy’s teacher’s hand confidently, introducing me and making sure Amy was comfortable with her buddy.
It wasn’t until we’d left the classroom that Paul began to fall apart.
“Drawing a picture of Dolly was a great idea.”
I opened the passenger door and waved him inside. “Amy was worried someone would make fun of her. This way, she can carry Dolly’s picture with her all day and no one will know.”
“I wish I’d thought of it,” Paul said sadly.
“You had a lot of other things on your mind.”
Paul took a tissue out of his pocket and blew his nose.
I turned on the ignition. “Do you want to tell me about your allergy?”
“It’s not an allergy. I was thinking about Mom and Dad and Christine for most of the night.” He took a deep, shuddering breath before wiping his eyes again. “I wish they could have been here to see Amy start school.”
I glanced across the cab. “What makes you think they aren’t here?”
“What do you mean?”
I slowly drove out of the parking lot. “There’s more to life than what we know. I’d like to think there’s more to death, too. Perhaps, when we take our last breath, we’re at the beginning of a new adventure. From what you’ve said, your sister and parents would have moved heaven and earth to see Amy today. Maybe they did. ”
Paul sighed. “You have an interesting way of looking at the world considering the career you chose.”
“It wasn’t my career that’s shaped me. I’ve seen things that are so bad I could easily crawl into a hole and never come out. But there’s a lot of good in the world, too. You just have to look for it.”
“Sometimes it isn’t easy.”
I turned right and continued driving. “When Lacey died, I questioned everything I’d ever done. But that only made things worse. I was looking for answers. I needed to know there was more to life than what I’d seen.”
“Did you find your answers?”
“I did, but it took a long time. Finding what I was searching for meant letting go of everything I believed, and that wasn’t easy.”
Paul turned toward me. “What did you find?”
“Hope.” I slowed and pulled into another parking space. “We’re here.”
Paul looked through the windshield and frowned. “It’s a church.”
“The coffee’s pretty good, too.”
“I can’t go inside. I haven’t been to church in years.”
I smiled. “It’s not like joining a gym. You don’t have to worry about your membership expiring.”
“What kind of church is it?”
“Christian.” I glanced at Paul. “God is God. I don’t think he’ll get too hung up on the details of what you believe.”
Paul undid his seatbelt and frowned. “This isn’t where most people would go for coffee. How did you find it?”
“I stayed with Jacob for a few months after Lacey died. One day, I was walking along the street and a man asked if I wanted a cup of coffee.”
Paul looked as though he didn’t believe me .
“It’s true. The man turned out to be the pastor. And the rest, as they say, is history.”
“Do they really make the best coffee in Sunrise Bay?”
I smiled. “Would I lie to you?”
“No,” he grumbled. “But you might stretch the truth.”
I leaned across the cab and wiped a tear off Paul’s cheek. “I guess you’ll have to come inside and see for yourself.”
His blue eyes connected with mine. A pulse of raw energy surged between us.
My eyes dropped to his mouth before I pulled away. I didn’t know why we couldn’t work out a way to be together. Nothing about our relationship made sense—and perhaps it never would.