Chapter 3
Chapter Three
Merritt
M y stomach churned as I pressed harder on the accelerator, urging my car to go faster. My fingers clenched the steering wheel so tight the leather creaked beneath my grip. My eyes darted to my ring finger as I turned the wheel, caught off guard once again by how light my left hand felt without the piece of jewelry that had been more of an albatross than a symbol of love. It had been two months since I took that ring off, and as much as I loved being free of the shackles it represented, I was still getting used to it.
I pushed away thoughts of the obnoxiously large diamond I’d never really liked and focused on the here and now. I’d been in a state of panic since getting the call that my brother was in the hospital due to a drug overdose.
It broke my heart that Ozzy had slipped... again, but it would have been a lie to say I wasn’t surprised. Because of his drug abuse, my brother and I hadn’t been very close in quite some time. The only reason I hadn’t cut him out of my life for good was because of his son, Levi. As much as I might have wanted to write Ozzy off completely, it would have meant losing the connection with my little guy, and that wasn’t possible.
Levi was only seven years old, and he deserved so much better than what he’d been born into. That little boy had become the most important person in my whole world the moment he was born, and leaving him behind when Rhodes and his team at Alpha Omega helped me get away from Warren was the hardest thing I’d ever done. Most days it felt like someone had reached inside my chest and ripped my heart right out. There wasn’t a second that passed where I didn’t miss Levi like I would a limb, but I had to get out. That had been my only shot, and as badly as I’d wanted to take Levi with me, there was no way Ozzy would have let that happen. His own son was nothing more to him than a pawn he could use against me whenever he needed money.
And I’d been the sucker who enabled him every single time. All to keep that contact with Levi.
As much as it pained me to admit, I wouldn’t have gone back to Hope Valley for Ozzy—but for Levi... well, I’d walk right back into the lion’s den for him.
And that was exactly what I was doing. As soon as the voice on the other end of the phone told me that my nephew would be placed in foster care if I didn’t come to take temporary guardianship as his only other living relative, I walked out of the coffee shop in Baltimore, where I’d been working as a barista, packed up what little I had in the small studio apartment I’d been living in since Rhodes helped me relocate, and made the three and a half hour drive back to the town I had hoped never to return to. But there wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do for Levi.
Between bouts of panic, I’d used the long drive to call Blythe Fanning, the first person to ever offer to help me and the only real friend I’d had in far too long. She must have heard the panic in my voice, because she didn’t hesitate to jump in and help as soon as I finished telling her what was going on.
A tremor worked its way down my spine as I passed the sign welcoming me to Hope Valley, but I pushed the fear down and kept going. Levi needed me.
By the time I pulled up in front of Hope House, the local children’s home where they were keeping Levi until I could get to him, Blythe was already there. As soon as I parked, she was at my door, pulling it open and wrapping me in a tight embrace the moment my feet hit the ground.
The action took me by surprise, and it took a few seconds for my limbs to unfreeze. As sad as it was to admit, even to myself, I wasn’t used to being hugged. At least in a way that wasn’t followed by violence or manipulation. The last person to hug me with any real kindness was Levi. I could still feel the steel grip his arms had formed around my neck as I cradled him to me, tears leaking from both our eyes. As much as it hurt at the time, I hadn’t been able to leave town without telling him goodbye.
That had been the worst moment of my life. Far beyond any of the pain or sadness Warren ever inflicted. I’d done my best to explain why I was leaving without going into all the ugly details he was too young to hear, and once I finished, my little guy lifted his chin and told me he hated the thought of me being sad, and if going away made me happy, that was what he wanted. That was a memory I’d held tight to over the past couple of months, one that hurt as much as it healed every time I recalled it.
I finally got myself together enough to return Blythe’s embrace.
“Are you okay?” she asked once she pulled back, taking hold of my arms. Her eyes sparked with concern, and seeing that someone actually cared about me made mine begin to sting with tears I was trying desperately to keep a hold on.
I sniffled, shaking off the wave of emotion. I couldn’t imagine what Levi had gone through, being the only one there when his father overdosed on heroin. Having to be the one to call the police... at seven . It broke my heart and made me so angry I wanted to track Ozzy down and beat him senseless for doing that to his son.
I couldn’t understand, and I sure as hell wasn’t okay. I wouldn’t be until my nephew was in my arms. “I just want to see Levi. I need to get to him.”
She nodded, understanding written all over her face. She had two kids of her own, after all. If there was anyone who understood, it was her. “Then let’s go get him.”
I turned toward the building and froze after only two steps, tipping my head back to stare up at the sign. My throat suddenly felt too tight as the reality of everything that had happened over the past several hours finally sank in fully.
“It’s okay,” Blythe assured me, giving my back a sympathetic pat. “I know there are all kinds of horror stories about group homes, but this place isn’t like that, I swear. Levi’s safe in there. I know the people in charge of this place. The director and the couple who founded it are close family friends. This is a nice, clean, safe place. Levi’s okay.”
“I never should have left him,” I said, my quiet statement breaking in the middle of the sentence as guilt crashed into me. The hold I had on my emotions snapped and tears started to trail silently down my face.
Blythe stepped in front of me. “Hey, don’t think like that. You can’t blame yourself. You did what you had to do.”
The knot in my throat grew bigger. “I knew I shouldn’t leave him behind. I knew it. I should have tried harder to get him away from my brother. I should have taken him and run.”
“Don’t think like that. You can’t do that to yourself.”
“But if I had been here?—”
She shook her head and held up her hand, cutting me off. “If you had been here, there’s no telling the state you would be in. Those bruises...” She trailed off, momentarily squeezing her eyes closed and swallowing thickly. “Merritt, you were in such bad shape,” she started again, her voice much quieter. “There’s no telling what he would have done to you if you had stayed—how much worse it would have gotten. If you would have even...” Her voice broke. “If you would have survived the next time, or the time after that.”
Her eyes went glassy, the sight of her fighting back her own tears making my chin quiver that much worse. My throat ached as I tried to swallow, emotion clogging it. “You had to save yourself in order to make sure you were strong enough for something just like this,” she continued. “You had to heal so you could be what that little boy needs at this very moment.”
I pulled in a deep breath, searching for the calm I would need before I saw Levi. The painful truth was, I hadn’t been in a place to take care of Levi before. I couldn’t have taken him from one monster only to trap him with another.
And speaking of that particular monster, I hadn’t let myself think about what it meant to be back in the same town he was in. I would have been lying if I said I wasn’t scared, but there was a voice in the back of my head—one that hadn’t been there before—telling me I could do this. I was ready. I could be what Levi needed, and when it came to a potential confrontation with Warren, well, that was a bridge I would cross when I got there.
I pulled in a stuttered breath before steeling my spine and starting forward once more. The moment we crossed the threshold we were greeted by an older woman with kind eyes and a soft smile that instantly worked to ease some of my anxiety.
“Ms. Bell?”
“Yeah, hi.” I reached out and took her hand, giving it a shake. “Call me Merritt.”
Her gaze caught on Blythe, coming in right behind me, and I registered the surprise on her face a moment before her smile grew even wider.
“This is a nice surprise, sweetheart,” she said to Blythe as she came to a stop beside me. Her eyes bounced between the two of us. “Do you guys know each other?”
Blythe leaned in and gave the woman a quick peck on the cheek before looping her arm through mine in a show of solidarity. “Yeah. We’re friends.” She said it with such casual ease that something warm bloomed in my chest and spread out through my limbs.
“I’m glad you’re here then.” The woman turned her kind eyes back to me. “Merritt, I’m Tessa Dixon. I’m the director here at Hope House. If you’ll follow me, I’ll take you to Levi. He’s playing board games with some of the other kids in the common room.”
My heart began to race as I followed Tessa through the large entry and down a long hallway to the left. My hands clenched into fists, my nails digging into the heels of my palms as anxiety squeezed at my chest.
As if reading my mood, Blythe grabbed my hand and forced my fingers straight so she could hold on. “Hey, it’s going to be all right.”
I nodded, inhaling deeply through my nose as I struggled to find my calm. The sound of laughter and voices grew louder the closer we got to the common room, the noise reaching a crescendo as we turned into the large open room. Kids of different ages circled a table off to our left, some with their hands thrown up in victory while others groaned in defeat. And right there in the fray was my little guy.
My heart stuttered and the air expelled from my lungs at the sight of him. I wasn’t sure what I’d been expecting, but the fist that had been clenching my chest since getting that phone call instantly released as I watched Levi beam up at the older boy standing beside him and lift his hand to give the kid a high five.
“He totally sunk your battleship, bruh!” the other kid cheered on behalf of my nephew as he pointed across the table.
A smile of relief turned the corners of my mouth up just as Levi turned his head and spotted me.
“Aunt Merri!” he shouted, breaking away from the group and running full speed in my direction.
I crouched as he closed in, catching him in my arms as he launched himself. I let out an oof at the impact, surprised at how much bigger he’d gotten in the two months since I’d last seen him. I wrapped my arms around him and lifted him off his feet, a pang hitting me square in the heart at how much heavier he’d gotten. It wouldn’t be much longer before I wasn’t strong enough to pick him up. But for the time being, I was determined to ignore the strain in my arms and hold on tight.
He pulled back, his eyes glittering with excitement despite everything he’d gone through over the past several hours. “Did you see? I beat Carson in Battleship!”
“I saw,” I said with a small laugh, shooting up a thank you to whatever higher power was looking down for giving my boy such resilience. Holding Levi in, I finally felt like I could take a full breath, and I filled my lungs with the scent of Levi’s familiar shampoo. “That’s ’cause you’re the Battleship king, little dude.”
Someone cleared their throat off to the side, drawing my attention. I twisted my head, my eyes going wide as soon as they locked onto the intense sky-blue gaze of the man who had been taking up way too much of my headspace over the past several weeks.
Tristan Fanning stood a few feet away, dressed in a pair of slacks and a light blue button-down shirt, his badge gleaming from its place on his belt.
I told myself countless times I’d built him up in my head to be something bigger than he really was, that he wasn’t as handsome as my mind was trying to convince me. I’d blamed it on the adrenaline and chaos swirling around that very first encounter, but as I stared at him, I knew I was in big trouble.
Because I realized what I remembered didn’t come close to doing him justice.