Chapter 22
Chapter Twenty-Two
Merritt
“ S omething’s going on. You look all glow-y and happy,” Blythe stated, her narrowed gaze studying me from across the table in Evergreen Diner like she could find out all my secrets if she focused hard enough. When she called earlier and asked me to meet with her and a few of her friends for lunch, Tristan insisted he’d watch Levi while I went out, declaring they were going to have “guy time”. I had no idea what that entailed, but Levi had been thrilled about the idea, so I said yes.
I was pleasantly surprised when I got to the diner and saw the friends she was having lunch with included Ivy, Rae, and another one of Rhodes’s sisters, Holly. She made introductions, and within minutes, it felt like I’d been a part of this crew for years.
I’d met some really incredible women recently, and I looked forward to getting to know each of them better. Warren had been so successful at isolating me from most everyone I cared about that I’d forgotten what it felt like to have a group of people you could talk to, share all the ups and downs of your life with, and who could lend a shoulder when you needed someone to lean on. I’d been alone for so long, and it had taken some getting used to, but each new friendship I made took one of those jagged pieces of me that had been ripped away and slid it back into place.
“Well, I am happy,” I told her, a smile stretching across my face at the truth of that. Despite the nasty visit with my brother, a lot had happened recently that ensured my happiness. Warren had been served with divorce papers. Just like with Ozzy, I held out very little hope he would simply sign the papers and go about his life. But I’d prepared for him to do what he could to make it a pain. And that was exactly what he’d done. He hired an attorney of his own who immediately hit back, but Rochelle was a certified badass. She was handling the back and forth, and I trusted her to do right by me so I didn’t have to think too much about it. She’d also informed me she was taking on my custody case, and she was going to bury my brother right alongside my soon-to-be ex-husband.
She might have intimidated the hell out of me, but she was officially my favorite person. Well, aside from Levi and Tristan.
“Things are going really good for me right now. I have a good job. Ivy reached out to squeeze my hand at that. “I’m making friends, my attorney has freaking ninja skills, and Levi seems to be doing really well. All of that makes me happy.”
Blythe hummed and tapped her chin. “I get all that, and I’m super excited for you, but none of that would explain why you’ve got that glow.”
My brows pinched together. “What glow?”
Rae leaned in and lowered her voice to answer. “The sex glow.”
I choked on my iced tea and Blythe pointed in Rae’s direction. “Yes, exactly. That’s what it is. You have the sex glow.”
My cheeks went up in flames, the blush giving me away.
Blythe smacked the table, her jaw hinging open. “Oh my God, you’ve had sex.”
“Shh!” I hissed, looking around to make sure no one was eavesdropping. Yes, I had sex. A lot of sex. And it had been incredible. But I didn’t want it broadcasted to the whole diner. Hope Valley’s grapevine was not to be taken lightly. All it took was for one person to overhear, and the entire town would know by morning.
I’d learned that after the scene on the sidewalk with Warren and Blythe. That spread through town like wildfire. The restraining order certainly hadn’t helped. Word had gotten out that there were pictures of the bruises he’d inflicted, and people were starting to question whether or not he really was the charming, generous man they all thought him to be. That shiny reputation of his was being tarnished, and I would have been lying if I said I didn’t get a tiny thrill out of witnessing his fall from grace.
Blythe clasped her hands beneath her chin and shot me a pleading look. “Please tell me you and Tristan are together. That would make me so happy.”
“We...” We hadn’t exactly put a label on what we were doing, but it was the most real thing I’d ever felt. Sure, I had a couple boyfriends in high school, but those had been about childhood infatuation and puppy love. My longest relationship was with Warren, but I never once felt for him what I felt for Tristan. Even when I thought we were good. “I guess you could say we’re... dating? Seeing each other? I’m not sure of the right term for it.”
“It’s hard to put a label on it this day and age with how the whole scene has changed,” Holly said with understanding. “My niece actually explained it to me not too long ago. Apparently when you’re first starting out, it’s considered chatting. From there, you move onto talking .”
Rae sipped her lemonade through her straw, her gaze full of curiosity as she asked, “And then you’re dating?”
Holly shook her head. “Nope. There’s one more level before dating, which is seeing . Like you’re seeing each other. It’s all very specific and completely ridiculous.”
I reached up to rub at my temples, trying to absorb everything Holly just said. “Well now I’m more confused than ever.”
“What all does it entail?” Ivy asked me, popping a grape into her mouth and caressing her belly.
“Obviously sex,” Rae specified.
I shot her a look. “Yes, okay. It includes that. It’s only been two days, so we haven’t had time to go on a date or anything, but there’s a lot of touching and kissing, even when sex isn’t involved. He cleaned out his closet and dresser and moved all my stuff from the guest room into his the other day. And he converted the garage into a space where I can work on restoring antique furniture because I off-handedly mentioned how much I missed it.”
“Oh wow.” Holly let out a breath. Rae and Ivy were looking at me with huge grins, and Blythe’s hands were clasped over her mouth as her eyes glistened.
Panic clutched at my throat, and for a brief moment, I was worried that she might have changed her mind and didn’t want me dating her brother. Or seeing him, or whatever the word for it was. “Are you crying?”
She began to wave her hands in front of her face frantically. “No! Maybe. Okay, yes, but they’re good tears. I thought maybe you and Tristan were enjoying time together and maybe hooking up. But what you described, it’s...”
“It’s what?” I asked when she trailed off.
“It sounds an awful lot like love,” Ivy answered, and the fork I’d been holding clattered onto my plate.
“What?” I squeaked. “No. No way! He doesn’t—it isn’t—it’s not that . We just really like each other.”
Rae cocked her head to the side as she watched me. “Are you denying it because you don’t think it’s true, or because you don’t want it to be true?”
“I—” My mouth suddenly felt dry as the desert. “It’s too soon,” I said softly, my voice going small as that stupid voice in the back of my head piped up. She always had the worst timing, and I was really starting to hate her. “What if... what if this goes bad too?” My deepest, most shameful feelings bubbled up from the surface, threatening to choke me if I didn’t get them out. “What if it’s me that’s the problem?”
Blythe’s hands came across the table and grabbed hold of mine. “Stop that. You can’t think like that. There is nothing wrong with you.”
That voice was relentless. “That can’t be true. The two most important men in my life turned out to be the worst kinds of human beings.”
“That is not on you,” Rae said fiercely, her beautiful face pulling into a scowl.
“I’m not saying I made them into what they are, but what does it say about me that I stuck by my brother for so long? Year after year, making excuses for him when, deep down, I knew what he really was. What does it say about me that I believed Warren when he said he was sorry and swore he would never hurt me again?”
Blythe’s fingers tightened around mine. “You see those as flaws, but what I see is a woman with an amazing capacity to love and forgive.”
“To my own detriment. Some people would consider that na?ve and gullible.”
“You were, what? Twenty-one when you met Warren?” Ivy asked. “You were barely an adult. You’d just lost your mother, who you loved dearly, and were alone in the world for the first time. Give yourself a little grace, honey.”
Rae picked up where Ivy left off. “Ozzy was the only family you had left. It’s not out of the realm of possibility that you’d want to hold on to that relationship. You spent your whole life loving him, and he wasn’t always what he is now, right?”
I nodded, a knot forming in my throat. “Right.”
“Then you need to forgive yourself for being human,” Blythe asserted. “Forgive yourself for not doing the best thing right out of the gate, because there isn’t a person on this planet who gets everything correct the first time around. We learn and we grow. That’s what you’re doing right now. You learned from those experiences, and you used them to make you stronger. You know what you want now, what you deserve, and you’re learning to demand exactly that.”
Her words penetrated, sinking deep beneath my skin and burying themselves into my soul. They took root and shot out, spreading through me and filling every small, dark corner that Warren’s and Ozzy’s cruelty had left behind. Those words filled me up and snuffed out that voice inside my head that kept trying to pull me back down and fill me with doubt at every turn.
This was what friends did. They held you up when you needed a little help staying on your feet. They were there to strangle out that self-doubt and insecurity. They were the ones who built you back up when you’d been torn down to nothing.
That was why Warren didn’t want me to have anyone around but him. Because if I’d had friends like these when we’d been together, they would have kept me strong and been right there to repair the damage he inflicted, mentally and physically.
What I realized in that very moment was I hadn’t lost that inner strength. It hadn’t disappeared or been ripped away from me like I thought. Warren didn’t succeed in stealing it. It had been there all along. I’d needed a little time to find it again. And now that I had, I wasn’t going to let anyone try to take it from me.
I lifted my gaze to Blythe’s and said the words I’d been thinking for months. “I know you might not believe it, but you saved me that day.”
Her chin jerked back in surprise, and I knew she knew exactly what day I was referring to. The day she finally helped me find the courage to get out.
“I didn’t?—”
I shook my head to silence her. “You might not think you did anything, but you’d be wrong. I know I would have found a way to save myself one day, but you made me feel brave enough that day to take the first step, because I knew you’d be right there with me. I guess what I’m trying to say is, thank you. Thank you for being my friend then, and thank you for being my friend now.”
Blythe sniffled, her eyes growing glassy before she cleared her throat and shook her head. “So help me God, Merritt, if you make me cry right now, I’m going to be seriously pissed.”
Everyone at the table burst into laughter. Including me.