Chapter 39 Jasper
Chapter thirty-nine
Jasper
Jas,” Lincoln says from the other side of his desk, “are you sure you want to do this?”
The office loft is quiet for the middle of the work week except for the muted hum of the heater and the faint clicking of his pen. Late morning light slants through the windows, catching dust in the air. “I am,” I finally say. “Yeah. I’m sure.”
Lincoln leans back in his chair, studying me the way he always does when he’s worried but trying not to show it. His lawyer brain running a mile a minute.
Contracts.
Numbers.
Consequences.
“Pullin’ out of the bulk of the Pbr circuit isn’t nothin’, Jas,” he says. “You’re talkin’ about forfeiting points. Sponsors’ll follow your lead, sure, but—”
“I know how it works,” I cut in gently. “I’m not retirin’. I’m just… slowing down. Select events. Invitational stuff. I’ll still do all of my sponsorship requirements, I just don’t need to chase a buckle anymore.”
That part is true. Has been for the last couple of years.
But what I don’t say—what I’d never say out loud—is that every time I leave, there’s a piece of me that’s convinced I won’t make it back in time.
I wasn’t there when Mom died.
I wasn’t there when Joe almost died.
That kind of fear doesn’t just go away. It just learns how to wait.
“At least for this year,” I add. “With everything that’s happenin’ with the Coates brothers, with Keller and Hearthland Development…
and now Abbie’s here…” I stop myself, jaw tightening.
“It just… it doesn’t feel right bein’ gone all the time.
Plus, it’s not like I need the money. I’m more than set.
Being as good as I was right out of the gate had its perks. ”
Lincoln watches me for a long moment. “You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your choices. Least of all me.”
I snort. “Yeah, I kinda do. You’re the one who’s gotta make the paperwork disappear.”
That gets a small smile out of him. “I just want you to be sure, Jas.”
I meet his eyes. “I’m sure,” I reply. “This is just… I dunno. Me choosin’ more, I guess. For once.”
That must do it, because he nods once and sets his pen down. “Alright. I’ll make it happen. We’ll restructure, shift commitments. For this year at least.”
Relief hits me harder than I expect. “Thanks, Linc.”
Leaning forward, he taps my hand where it rests on his desk. “You’re gonna owe me for all of these phone calls I’m about to make.”
“Isn’t that what I pay you for?”
“You don’t pay me shit,” he laughs.
I chuckle, but before I can respond, my phone buzzes in my pocket.
Joe Joe.
I glance at the screen, then back at Lincoln. “That’s my cue.”
He smiles softly. “Tell her I said hi, and to call me one of these days, and not you. She likes me better anyway.”
I pick up a stray paperclip and chuck it at his head before heading downstairs, the sound of his laugh following me. Destiny lifts her head the second I step inside the horse barn, ears flicking forward. I run a hand down her neck and kiss her between the ears before answering the call. “Hey, Joe.”
“Well, well, well,” my sister says. “So you do remember who I am? Could have fooled me.”
I chuckle. “Sorry. It’s been a little crazy around here.”
“Crazy schedule this year?”
“Actually… I’m gonna be slowin’ down this year. Want to be around more.”
There’s a pause on the other end before she asks carefully, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothin’ we can’t handle. Just some assholes trying to take a place that’s not theirs.”
She’s quiet for another moment. “You need us to manage anything?”
I picture Luca’s calm precision. Enzo’s grin when things get messy.
Sebastian’s silence. Dante’s terrifying patience.
While I’ve never officially met them in person, I have spoken to them several times over FaceTime at this point, and of three things, I am absolutely certain.
One: while I wasn’t originally thrilled about the idea of my big sister having four men in her life, I can already tell that those four are some of the best there are.
Two: that being said, it’s clear that there’s more to them than meets the eye.
And while Joe has never explicitly told me exactly what it is they do outside of Vittori Enterprises, I do know that if I needed their help, they wouldn’t hesitate to work around the law to do so.
And three: they make my sister happier and safer than she’s ever been. And for that, I’m eternally grateful.
“We’ve got it handled, Joe. You know the four of us aren’t afraid to get our hands dirty. Especially now that Abbie’s here.”
“Mhm,” she replies. “How’s she doing by the way?”
I don’t answer right away, and my silence must be enough of a tell.
Josephine exhales slowly, exhaustion and disappointment at my antics lacing her tone. “Jasper…”
“I tried not to,” I rush out. “I really did.”
“And?”
“And it didn’t matter. There’s just… there’s something about her. Something we—”
“We?” she bites out.
“Yeah,” I say hesitantly. “We.”
“All four of you?” There’s no judgment in her tone—because well, stones in glass houses and all that—just curiosity.
I’m afraid to answer for a moment, then I remember she can’t kick my ass all the way from New York. “Yes.”
I can practically hear her rubbing her temples as she sighs again. I don’t speak, just waiting for the ass-reaming I’m about to get, but instead, she surprises me. “It’s not easy. Loving like this. Sharing space. Sharing fear. Especially not with four other people.”
“I know,” I answer honestly.
“But… it’s so, so worth it,” she continues.
“Every hard day. Every insecure thought. Every look from people who’d never understand.
Because when it works? It’s a love you could have never experienced in your wildest dreams.” There’s such devotion in her voice.
A gratitude for this new life she’s been blessed with.
One I’ve envied since the day she found it.
A love you could have never experienced in your wildest dreams.
I swallow harshly at the thought.
“But hear me, Jasper. This only works if every single one of you remembers she is not something to be won. She’s not a prize you compete over. She’s a person who gets to choose that life. Every. Day.”
I close my eyes, leaning my forehead against Dezzy’s neck. “We know that.”
“You think you do,” she says gently. “But knowing it and living it are two different things. You don’t take from her when you’re angry with one another.
You don’t pull her into you out of fear that she’s getting closer with someone else.
And you sure as hell don’t let jealousy turn into silence or distance because you’re afraid. ”
“You talk,” Joe continues. “Even when it’s uncomfortable. Especially when it’s uncomfortable. If one of you feels threatened or insecure or left out, you say it. Don’t punish her for feelings she didn’t ask for.”
“I’d never—”
“I know,” she interrupts. “That’s why I’m saying it now. Before the lines blur even further. Before emotions get tangled. Before one of you decides being noble and stepping back without explanation, and breaking her heart in the process, is the way to go.”
That one lands square in my chest.
“And Jas?” she asks quietly. “It’s normal to be angry. To be upset with some of the hands life decides to deal with you. Lean into that feeling. Don’t run from it. No one worth loving will ever punish you for feeling angry. Your anger isn’t the problem. But your silence would be.”
I swallow hard. “So what… we just trust that it’ll all work out?”
“No,” she says with a small laugh. “You work at it, you idiot. You protect her peace like it’s sacred.
You make sure she never has to wonder if she’s safe with you—physically or emotionally.
Because after everything that woman’s survived, the bare minimum is respect.
The rest?” I can feel her smiling into the phone. “Well, the rest is fucking magic.”
I let out a slow breath. “You really think this can work?”
“I know it can, Jas. I live a life as beautiful as that every single day,” she replies. “If all of you are willing to love her louder than your fears, you’ll be lucky enough to have her.”
There’s a small pause before she adds, “And don’t think that just because you’re my brother, I’ll take your side. You hurt her, I’ll kick your ass.”
I snort. “I’d like to see you try.”
“I’ll send Big Daddy, how’s that sound?”
I scrunch my nose in disgust. “Okay, first of all, what have I said about calling Dante that around me? And second of all, I want his Hulk fist nowhere near my precious face. Message received.”
The two of us laugh, and even though I know she’s joking, it makes me smile knowing Abigail has a friend who would stand up for her that way.
“I love you,” she says.
“Love you too, Joe.”
“Call me if you need me. Okay?”
Big sister til the very end. “I will. I promise.”
I hang up and rest my palm against Dezzy’s nose, before looking up.
Abigail’s crossing the yard toward the barn, hair loose beneath a white stocking cap, sunlight catching its strands. Beau’s laughter carries faintly from the house behind her, and Lawson’s voice follows.
She’s fucking glowing.
And as she catches sight of me and offers me one of those precious smiles, one I know is reserved just for me—because it’s different than the way she smiles at Lawson, or Beau, or Lincoln—I know I made the right call.