Chapter 15
Alisa stood in the athletes’ area, watching the internal qualifiers for the men’s singles skaters, while all the girls had been gathered here today specifically to look at possible candidates for the qualifying tournament in Beijing, and at the same time simply to watch the guys’ programs and choreographies for an inspiration, to create at least some kind of crowd, some noise, some support from the stands.
The girls shouted, applauded and actively supported the guys from the VIP box, although everyone understood perfectly well that Beijing was essentially the last chance, unless, of course, we were talking about the qualification for the team event, but Alisa knew too well that if she did not get selected here and was not sent to Beijing, then she was unlikely to be sent to Japan either, to the ISU Grand Prix of Figure Skating Final in Nagoya, the last competition where athletes could still score points for qualification to the team event.
Alisa sat in her seat and breathed slowly, looking at everything from the VIP lodge where eleven athletes were already sitting, and she was the twelfth.
The Russian internal championships were held almost like real international competitions. Today there were six well-known singles skaters here, Alisa herself, still almost new to singles, four very young juniors, and Anfisa, the main favorite from Alyona Turmeric’s group.
Everyone sat silently, immersed in their own thoughts, staring at the ice with such concentration as if their entire lives depended on it.
They still did not know how the groups would be distributed. The men had only just finished skating, and only one of them had been selected for the qualifiers in Beijing… and apparently only one girl would be selected too.
The competition was terrifying. Especially when Alisa looked at the juniors.
They were so young and so reckless in the way they jumped, as if from the first second of their lives they had not cried, but immediately gone into a quadruple toe loop, and not spent years learning to skate from the age of three like everyone else.
Alisa watched the boys’ performances below, watched the their mistakes and those smiles after the music ended, because today was the last day, the free program, the final day of scoring.
And they had chosen him – Slava. He was from Arkadiy’s team, and Arkadiy looked happy and proud, with that rare expression on his face that appeared only when one of his students proved that he had not wasted years on them.
However, Alisa was hardly looking at the ice anymore, she was staring at Lev with gnawing regret.
He was sitting a little lower in the stands among the athletes who had not competed today, among those who had simply come to support their friends, because these championships were open to everyone, even skaters from Moscow had come here.
Lev sat with a serious face, leaning his elbows on his knees, not even pretending to be interested in anything except what was happening on the ice, although sometimes he would raise his eyes and look at her.
And every time their gazes met, Alisa felt something inside her chest painfully clench. But Lev immediately looked away. They had not spoken since their fight.
“What are you so worried about?” Anfisa whispered suddenly beside her, and Alisa flinched in her chair as if someone had yanked her violently out of those thoughts about how terrible everything had become between her and Lev.
“Well… maybe a little…” Alisa answered quietly, looking only at Anfisa.
Anfisa’s brown eyes sparkled with excitement, apparently even she had been carried away by the guys’ programs, and honestly, Alisa understood her perfectly, because every time one of them flew into a jump or suddenly did some beautiful, difficult element that fit perfectly into the choreography, her own heart began to beat faster too.
She had always loved the free skate more.
“Oh, come on, baby, everything will work out, you restored your triples in just two months, and now you’re already jumping them almost perfectly! And there’s still a whole month before Beijing… there’s every chance to win.”
“Maybe to win,” Alisa muttered, lowering her eyes to her hands, “but there are so many strong skaters here now, so many people who want this quota just as much as I do… and you know, even if they send me there, which is already unlikely enough… they still might not take me to the Olympics after that.”
“Baby, now you’re upsetting me,” Anfisa said immediately, frowning as if Alisa had said something completely absurd.
“Of course they’ll take you! How could they not take someone like you?
You work harder than all of us put together, probably…
at least these last few months, I swear I have not seen anyone train like that in a very long time, through so much pain and tears!
And that terrifying look on your face every time something doesn’t work, and still you come back the next day and do it all over again…
and now look at you, you’re here, you’re about to fight for a place at the Olympics. ”
Anfisa smiled and wrapped one arm around her shoulders, awkwardly because they were both still sitting in their chairs, and Alisa leaned into her side for a second and hugged her back.
At that exact moment, one of the organizers came into the VIP box with a sheet of paper in his hands and pinned it to the door.
Everyone instantly jumped up from their seats and rushed toward it, almost pushing each other aside, because finally, finally, they would know the order for tomorrow’s short program.
Alisa came over one of the last and immediately found her name.
She would skate last, of course.
Then she quietly turned around and went to the locker room to change for one more training session, even though today she was completely on her own.
She wanted to skate slowly through her choreography, literally practicing every movement except, of course, the jumps.
For those, she only skated into them and completed a single rotation to practice the blade itself and the landing.
She did not want to push herself too hard, and today was simply about gliding across the ice to the music of her favorite composers…
Today, she repeated two choreographies in a row, and her soul literally soared with love for music, figure skating, and the choreography itself that had been created for her by coach and choreographer Dana.
* * *
Alisa slowly inhaled for four counts and exhaled for six, trying to calm her nervous, trembling fingers, but it helped poorly, because she was terribly nervous…
The last championship had been a disaster for her, and now she had to go out onto the ice again, alone.
Her hands were shaking so much that she could hardly hold them still, and for one absurd second she even thought that maybe only a shot of vodka would help now…
but of course she couldn’t take it, so she only clenched her teeth harder.
She was waiting for her name to be announced.
She did not watch the other girls’ choreographies before her performance, because she was afraid of losing her own mood, although she was not even sure she had any mood at all today.
From somewhere beyond the door, she could hear the other skaters leaving the locker room and stepping onto the ice.
Then the applause rose, along with that familiar tension that always seemed to fill the entire arena before a performance, even though there were not that many people there today — mostly athletes, their families, coaches, and a couple of devoted fans who simply loved figure skating and often came to watch even local competitions.
Because even if they only watched skating on TV or skated themselves once or twice a week, they still loved it, and it was still comforting to know that there would be an audience.
But today was only the short program, so there were fewer people than usual, or at least that was how it felt from inside the locker room, because Alisa herself had not entered the arena yet today.
She had only arrived a couple of hours before her performance, managed to warm up, speak briefly with her coach and with Dana, who had hurriedly wished her luck and immediately run off to support the others.
Alisa pressed her lips together and lowered her head, still trying to breathe evenly, nervously twisting the cloth she used to wipe her blades between her fingers and staring at it so intently as if the whole world had suddenly narrowed down to that stupid little piece of fabric, to its threads and tiny fibers, which she began to count one by one.
When suddenly the door opened and Anfisa came in together with Anastasia and the blonde.
All three of them were smiling, laughing about something, but as soon as they noticed Alisa sitting there alone, they immediately hurried over to her.
Anfisa crouched down in front of her almost at once, and her cheerful smile instantly turned into concern.
“What’s wrong, baby?”
“I’m just worried…” Alisa muttered quietly. “I haven’t skated alone for a long time… and it’s all a little terrifying.”
“It’s okay! Listen, there’s… there’s Lev and Hermann in the audience, they’re holding a poster with your face on it,” Anfisa answered immediately and giggled, while Anastasia snorted so loudly that she nearly started laughing too. “They stretched your face out so weirdly!”
“Those assholes…” Alisa muttered, already imagining what kind of terrible photo they must have chosen.
“They came to support you, baby!”
And suddenly Alisa noticed that her hands were not trembling so much anymore, and somewhere against her will a smile appeared on her face.
“Well,” Anastasia nodded toward the door, “isn’t it your turn?”
“Come on, ni puha ni pera, malyshka!9” Anfisa said and hugged her tightly.
“Good luck!” the blonde added with a grin.
“To hell with it!”