Chapter 12
Chapter Twelve
Romy
My boots crunch up the gravel path toward The Knotted Barn. Lottie runs up beside me, breathless like she sprinted the whole way from her house.
“You’re a hard woman to find,” she says, panting.
“You haven’t been looking very hard. I haven’t left the ranch in, like, two weeks.”
She’s dressed in her Harvest Depot long-sleeve shirt and jeans, probably on her way into work. “Well, you know how busy the store is during the fall season. It’s the one part of the ranch that’s open, and everyone and their sister wants to visit to try to get a glimpse of Zander.”
I stop in my tracks, stomach tightening. “People in town have figured it out?”
She nods, her face pinched. “Yep, word is out. Brooks said people keep asking him questions about it. He’s kind of annoyed, but I think he’s just a little hurt Zander’s crew doesn’t need him.
You know how he feels about his role in this community.
” She looks genuinely upset for him, and of course she does.
He’s her husband. “Anyway, how are you?” Her gaze flicks down to my stomach as though it’s glowing neon.
“Fine.” My throat is tight, and the word sounds like a lie even to me.
“Did you tell mystery man?” she whispers.
“No.”
“Because you don’t want to do it over the phone?” She falls in step beside me as we climb the hill toward the barn.
“No, I just haven’t yet.” The words scrape out of me.
“What about seeing a doctor?” she presses.
The crack in my patience isn’t her fault.
It’s the weight of spending these past few days with Zander.
The way I’ve almost blurted out the news several times.
Then I play out the conversation in my head.
You’re going to be a father… how do you feel about that?
Gotta go? Yeah, I get it, you’re not ready for me or a kid. See ya.
“Nope.”
“Romy.” She tugs on my arm, halting us at the back door.
“What?”
“You can’t just ignore it.” Her matching brown eyes dig into mine.
“I’m not… I’m just trying to survive, you know?” My voice cracks, and I hate the weakness there. Why can’t I just tell him and be done with it?
She nods, and that sympathetic look nearly undoes me. “I know, but you need to take the necessary steps. Do you want me to call? I’ll do it. I might be able to pass as you.”
I blow out a breath and shake my head.
“I can call, really. Let’s call Briar and get a number for her OBGYN.” Her eyes are pleading.
I take her hands, grounding both of us. “I’m fine. I’m good. I appreciate the help. I do. And after I can get this Zander… Shaw’s thing up and running, I’ll make the plans. It’s still really early.”
She exhales a frustrated sigh, and I feel the weight of her worry. I’m sure it’s hard since she’s the only one in our family who knows. It’s never fun bearing a secret alone.
“Hey.” Zander’s voice cuts in, pulling my spine up taut.
He clocks us, looking over with a confused sort of expression, and suddenly I’m hyperaware of the flush on my face and the way my sister’s hands are clasped in mine.
“Where’s your big bad bodyguard?” Lottie asks.
“He’s on his rounds of the security detail.” He looks inquisitive, and I hope he doesn’t suspect anything.
“Leaving you all alone on the ranch, huh?” Lottie says.
Zander slides his thumbs into his jean pockets, rocking back as if he’s posing without even trying. “It appears so. Is there a mean side of Romy I should be worried about?”
Lottie looks at me, then at him. “Um… no. We all have our roles in this family. I’m the mean one, Bennett is the straightlaced one, and Romy is the romantic and eternal optimist.”
Zander’s gaze snaps to mine with curiosity. “Is that so?”
Lottie follows his look, smirks, then adds, “She used to be, but there’s this guy—”
I cut her off before she detonates my dignity completely to the least romantic man I’ve ever met. “We gotta go, and you better get to the store.”
“Saylor’s there holding down the fort. What are you two up to today?” She lingers, nosy as ever, and Zander’s eyelids lift.
“Actually, I was hoping Romy would play hooky today,” he says.
“Hooky?” Lottie’s smile deepens as she swings her gaze between us. “That’s fun. What are your plans? A plane ride to Paris for dinner at the Eiffel Tower? Or I bet you’re going to take her to an opera in San Francisco.”
“This isn’t a romcom,” I whisper, mortified. “And it’s not like that.” How could she think it would be, knowing my situation?
“Do you like big things like that?” Zander asks softly.
I shake my head quickly.
“It’s called wooing. I get that you probably don’t have to do too much.
I’m sure a whole slew of women beg and plead for you to take them on your tour bus.
But one of these days, Zander Shaw, you’re going to find a woman who flips your world around, and you’ll be whisking her away to Paris.
” Lottie hugs me tightly, then shoots him a wink.
“Gotta go. You know how crabby Brooks gets when his coffee isn’t ready on time.
” She smacks Zander lightly on the arm. “See ya.”
“I don’t understand. Isn’t she married to Brooks?” Zander asks, watching her walk off.
“It’s their thing.” I fumble for my key.
“Their thing?” He holds the door open for me once I’ve unlocked it.
“You know how couples have things…” In my office doorway, I hesitate, torn between wanting space and wanting him. I feel as if an arrow is hovering over the drawer with the test in it. “Seriously?”
Something shifts across his face. Could it be embarrassment?
“Right, you’re not into those types of relationships.” My bitterness is loud and clear.
He braces his hands against the top of the doorframe, shirt tugging up, revealing skin and a line of dark hair that disappears into the waistband of his jeans.
My body reacts before my brain can scold it. Why is he so damn sexy?
“So, their thing is her making him coffee in the morning? Wouldn’t it be better to have her bring coffee to him in bed or, I don’t know, wearing lingerie or, hell, naked?”
A full-body shiver rocks me. “Okay, first, I don’t want to think of Brooks in a bed and definitely not my sister bringing him coffee naked.”
He chuckles. “That’s a tad immature, no? They obviously have sex.”
I arch an eyebrow. “Do you have siblings?”
He shakes his head.
Right. Foster kid, you idiot.
“Okay, think about Beau or better yet, DeSoto. Imagine him naked, beating off.”
His brows rise, but he nods in mock understanding.
“See what I mean?”
“Yeah.” He grimaces. “Now I have to think of how to banish that image from my head.”
His smile—his real smile—breaks out. The one that used to belong only to me. Or so I thought. Maybe a lot of women think that smile is theirs. My chest aches at the memory of the nights when that grin was mine and mine alone.
I clear my throat, desperate to redirect this line of conversation. “Anyway, you said something about playing hooky?”
Still leaning forward on the doorframe, biceps straining, he says, “I don’t want the whole video shot in the barn.
I wanted to have flashbacks to where they fell in love.
So, I thought maybe you could show me around the ranch, and we can brainstorm?
” His voice dips, sounding shy in a way that disarms my anger completely.
“You already got the tour.”
His smile falters. “Yeah, but I could barely concentrate then.”
“Why?” I cross my arms, bracing myself.
“Because I wasn’t expecting you.”
Heat floods my cheeks, betraying me and my unresolved feelings for him.
“So, what do you say? Jensen said he’d pack us a lunch basket, and we could take the horses up to this spot a lot of you guys like. Some place by a creek?”
“Do you ride?”
Please say no. Please, God, say no.
“Yeah. I assume you do?”
I nod. “I can call down to Nash and ask him if we can take the horses.”
Which he will say no to because I will not be making that call.
“Jensen mentioned it’s his best friend who manages the horses.”
I latch onto that, trying to derail the conversation about the horses. “A picnic lunch sounds a little too romantic. Not very friend-like.”
“It could be friend-like, and besides, I didn’t say picnic lunch. I just said he’s packing a basket. We have to eat, right?”
I think of my growing baby and sigh. “I suppose.”
His arms drop, and he steps into the room. “Listen, I know I don’t deserve your kindness, but you’re the one I feel the most comfortable with, and that’s not an easy thing for me to come by. I know I could ask your brother or one of your cousins. Emmett seems really helpful, but I want you.”
I want you.
Ugh. How many times have I dreamed of hearing those words from him? Just in a different context.
“I also think you have a great eye for some romantic possibilities.”
And there’s the real reason. Well, at least if he’s thinking about it that way, he just needs me there for business reasons. Which will make it all clear-cut in the end. We’re in this together until he leaves, then our future is up in the air.
“Okay.”
His eyes widen. “Really?”
I nod. “Really. I’ll grab the keys to the UTV, and I’ll pick you up at The Getaway Lodge.”
“Can I drive? We can head to the lodge together and pick up the basket and then head out.”
For a man who never has to plan anything himself, he’s got this day mapped out.
“Sure. Let’s go.”
I grab the keys, lock my office, and follow him out.
Another day with Zander Shaw sounds like a slow form of torture. Just another day of holding my heart together while it quietly breaks into pieces.