Chapter 26
Chapter Twenty-Six
Zander
Beau walks into The Knotted Barn, raises his arms in the air, and says, “Who’s your daddy?”
I turn around. We’ve gotten almost everything done for the video.
Zara is arriving tomorrow to start filming.
The crew is already pretty much gone for the night, so it’s just me and Beau.
Romy went to lie down at her house, saying she wasn’t feeling good.
I told her I’d check on her on my way back, but ever since last night, I feel as if there’s something off with us.
“That’s creepy and weird. Try rephrasing it,” I say.
“What’s creepy? I made a huge deal today. I’m getting you what you want, and I want some kudos.”
“Tell me what I’m thanking you for before I actually fall to my knees in gratitude.”
“You’re thanking me for renting out some bar called The Hidden Cave.
Don’t worry—you paid a pretty penny for it, but the crew and anyone else you want can go.
There are only going to be two employees there, so we’ll have to have some designated bartenders.
But you’ll be off the ranch. Happy?” His smug smile says he’s pleased with himself.
“But we cannot talk about the fucking pregnancy while we’re there. ”
“I’m not gonna talk about the pregnancy. But I mean… she’s going, right? Romy’s coming? Did you tell her?”
He scoffs. “You sound like an adolescent boy asking me if I told the girl you like that you like her and want to know what she said.”
I lean against the wall. I do sound pathetic, but I’m not ready to show my cards yet. “I just want to make sure she’s going. It would be nice for her to get off the ranch too.”
“Yeah, okay. Just keep telling yourself that.” Beau picks up a donut from this morning from the box on the table. “I told Jensen this morning that he needs to go on one of those chef shows. He’s wasting his talent here.”
“Fuck, Beau, why would you say that? He’s with his family.”
He finishes the donut and licks the sugar from his fingers. “It’s the truth. It was a compliment. What’s up your ass?”
“Nothing,” I grumble and turn back to what I was doing.
“Uh-huh. Sure. Lines are blurring, and you’re gonna have to address it pretty soon. Is that why you’re acting like a shithead?”
Beau is my best friend, and he’s seen me through a lot of crap, but neither one of us is good with relationship talks.
“I don’t need advice—least of all from you.”
He puts his hand over his heart and pretends to stumble back. “I’m wounded. I give great advice.”
I glance around the empty room. “Funny, you don’t ever have a woman by your side.”
“I have them in my bed, and that’s good enough for me. That’s the difference.”
“Difference? Who said I wanted a woman?”
“Jesus Christ, Zander, look at yourself in the mirror. You’re with her nonstop.
I haven’t really seen you in like a week.
Don’t get me wrong, I understand it. I know you’ve got to get to know each other, you’re going to be parents.
But we’re still sitting on the fucking paperwork that hasn’t been discussed, let alone signed. What exactly are we doing here?”
He has his points, but the thought of involving lawyers makes my skin crawl. It just isn’t something I want to do. I don’t want it to be like that with us.
“You’re living in a fairytale. One day she’s going to be just like the rest of the women who get pregnant by someone famous.
She’s going to see you on the red carpet with some pretty blonde on your arm while she’s got a crying kid in her arms, and she’s gonna be pissed and want to make problems for you. ”
Beau’s cynical. I am too—that’s the reason I pushed her away in the first place. No woman can be that perfect, that kind and sweet. Especially one who was such a big fan of mine.
“All I asked was if she was going to be there.”
He quirks an eyebrow. “We’re ignoring this, okay, got the memo. I don’t know if she got the invite. That’s up to you, buddy. Man up and ask her if you want her there.”
When we stand in silence, I’m thankful to be alone with him. I walk out to the balcony, hoping the last of the sunshine will help me see the light in this situation. Beau follows me onto the balcony.
“I don’t want to put her on the spot. I feel like she already thinks it’s weird, me showing interest. I mean, I cut her off, Beau. Without explanation. There’s no coming back from that.”
He rests his forearms on the balcony. “Yeah, but things have changed since then. She wasn’t pregnant with your baby when you blew her off.”
“Still… I mean, I don’t know. Shit. I don’t have my life together.
I’m not made for this. Romy’s having my baby.
She’s turned from the woman I fucked into the one who’s gonna raise my kid.
I can’t screw this up. If I fuck with her and things go bad, I could be screwed.
I don’t want my kid to be raised in complete chaos like we were. ”
“I give you shit because you pay me to. She does seem different though.” He shrugs. “She seems… I don’t know. But you definitely don’t want to make this situation more complicated than it is. As legal advice—although I’m not a lawyer—I would say keep your dick in your pants.”
“But my dick wants out.”
“Well, yeah, of course the dick wants out.”
“I really liked her back then.”
“I know,” Beau admits, his voice softer.
“You did?”
He holds a cocky smirk, staring at me from the corner of his eye.
“The whole time. When you told DeSoto not to let her in, I knew you were a fool. You kept her hidden from almost everybody. You didn’t flaunt her.
You didn’t make a big deal about it. You actually tried to hide out and spend time alone with her.
That’s not you. You used to entertain girls then take them in the back.
They were never allowed to go from city to city.
You broke the rule that we didn’t leave a city with a woman in the back. ”
“I know.” I knew I was breaking my one rule, but damn, Romy was different. Which was exactly what made me panic and push her away.
“But you flew her here and there—something you’ve never done for anyone before. Even though it was only three times, it seemed like your longest relationship ever—which is fucking sad, I might add.”
“Let’s see your long list of relationships.”
He chuckles and nods. “So, I always knew she was somebody important to you. That’s why I feel this whole pregnancy thing is interesting. It shakes up the playbook a little bit.”
“Oh my god, you’re not helping.” I throw my head in my hands.
“You can’t predict the future, Zan. You have to put yourself out there. I’m gonna shift from manager mode into best friend mode now. You ready?”
“Just say whatever you want to.” I blow out an annoyed breath.
“Make your move,” he says, as if it’s so simple.
“As my best friend, you’re saying I should see what we could be? I don’t even think she’d entertain the idea.”
“You don’t know that. And I’m saying this as your best friend, I can see you want to.
I have to play so many roles in your life, so let me get this right.
As your manager, I’d say no fucking way, stay away from her.
As your best friend, I’m saying fuck her.
But as your brother, I’m saying take it slow.
Feel it out. See where it goes. See if this thing has any legs or substance for the long haul. ”
I sigh. “How the hell do I know if a relationship has legs?”
Beau looks at me hard. “You’re an idiot. If it does, you’ll know. Look for the signs.”
“What are the signs?”
“Oh my god, do I have to hold your hand? You’ll know when you know.”
“What if I don’t?”
“Zander, you know when a girl likes you. You know the feeling it provokes. And when you feel something different from what you’ve always felt—that’s your sign.”
I nod and stand straight. I can do this. “All right. Okay. So, what do I do tonight? I mean, she can’t drink, and we’re going to a bar.”
“You don’t even know if she’s fucking coming. That’s your first step, buddy. Ask her to go to the bar first.”
I grip the back of my neck with both hands. “My god, I feel like a thirteen-year-old boy.”
“Well, yeah, you’re acting like one. Time to man up, buddy. You’ve got big balls and a big dick now. Act like it.” He pats me on the back and heads out of the barn. “Seven o’clock, the SUVs roll out!”
I’ve never even dated a woman, and somehow the first one I’m trying to win over is the mother of my child. If that’s not messed up, I don’t know what is.