11. Evie #3
I couldn’t even be excited. Any show or plot twist I watched or read about was met with him always there telling me to shut up, that I was an octave too high.
The one that truly cut deep was when he said I spoke just to hear the sound of my own voice.
He said he didn’t owe me apologies when he hurt my feelings, but I was a bitch if I didn’t apologize for something that he did.
He never invited me out with his friends, even when I was invited to the parties, too. He’d just hide it from me and come back saying, oh you would have loved it, you could have come.
Or I could tell the girls about the half-naked women he looked at online, the exact type he said he despised.
The man despised me. Hated me.
And yet, he wouldn’t let me go.
Still won’t let me go.
Because it’s a hit to his ego that I left him.
So instead, he made me feel small.
He made me quiet.
He stole my voice.
He stole my spark.
He made me hate myself.
And I utterly hate him for it.
But I hate myself more for accepting that type of treatment.
How did I ever think so low of myself to believe I deserved to be treated like I was nothing?
“Well, fuck them!” Cindy suddenly declares, her voice so loud the guys at the other end of the table fall silent.
My cheeks flame as I lock eyes with Matteo. The corner of his lip twitches and in response, I arch a brow at him as if to say, what? He just shakes his head, rubbing a hand over his mouth to hide his coy smile.
“Go on, back to talking about the puck.” Cindy waves them off, O’Connor laughing loudly at her antics. “Well, I for one am glad they’re out of your life because now we get you all to ourselves!”
“Ooh!” Layla pipes up. “We have a book club! You should join the group chat.”
“And girls’ nights at Totti’s!” Bella adds.
Wincing, I admit, “I don’t read that much but I’m happy to be there for the vibes and I’m always down for girls’ nights.”
Bella leans forward. “Trust me, I didn’t read before either but once you see the texts these two send, you’ll get curious.”
Smiling at their kindness and how welcoming they are, I suddenly don’t want to be left out. I need to start living again. “Okay, I’ll join the chat and see what all the fuss is about.”
Layla claps her hands. “I’m converting another. I feel it in my bones.”
Cindy smiles as she flicks her blonde hair off her shoulder, lifting her glass of wine. “Layla is the avid reader in our little group. She’s been reading since she was young. You should see the library Kieran built her.”
My jaw drops. “He built you a library?”
Layla’s cheeks flush as she tucks a lock of red hair behind her ear and peers down at her plate, suddenly finding it very interesting. “Yes, he built me bookshelves…and dedicated a room for me to read in.”
“Smitten indeed.” I crane my neck around to the group of guys. “Who else is smitten? Last I was around everyone, they were all horny bastards.”
“Well, Grayson is head over heels in love with Bella. Like, disgustingly in love.” Cindy points her finger inside her mouth and fakes a gag. “It’s hard to be around them sometimes.”
A napkin suddenly bounces off her forehead. “Hey!” Bella snaps. “We aren’t bad to be around.” She knocks her shoulder into Layla. “Tell her.”
Except Layla only winces. “It’s not that you’re hard to be around but…it’s very evident that you love each other.”
Bella gasps. “My best friend, the traitor!”
“Grayson can never keep his hands off you!”
The incredulity is replaced with a smile. “That’s true.”
“Besides those two, all the rest are very much still horny bastards.” Cindy leans into my side, her voice lowering to a mere whisper. “Matteo, on the other hand, is always on his best behavior, and I think I’m beginning to connect the dots as to why.”
Bella and Layla follow Cindy’s line of sight to Matteo, who can’t stop glancing my way. When he slides his eyes this way again, only to spot us all staring, he frowns.
Not caring how obvious she’s being, Cindy continues to study Matteo. “Is he grouchy with you?”
Pursing my lips, I turn away from him, only for my back to feel like it’s going up in flames again from his searing gaze. “Yes and no. He talks a lot more with me but he’s always got a level of gruff going on.”
“Interesting,” Cindy says slowly, raising her wine glass to her lips.
“Not really. We grew up around each other so he’s comfortable with me.”
At that, Cindy smiles. “Oh, believe me, I know all about childhood friends becoming lovers.”
I roll my eyes. “Valenti and I are not you and O’Connor. That would take him to actually see me as anything other than Caleb’s little sister.”
“He certainty isn’t looking at you like you’re just the little sister of his best friend.”
Layla grins at me across the table. “If it’s just Valenti whose emotions have to change, does that mean yours—”
“Okayyyy,” I say with a chuckle, doing everything in my power to not look at that end of the table. “So, what’s the book choice for the next meet-up?”
The girls burst into a fit of giggles at my very obvious change in conversation.
Cindy clicks her tongue. “I can’t wait to watch this unfold.”
“Nothing is unfolding.”
“Mm-hmm, sure,” Bella hums knowingly.