39. Matteo #2
Wiping the tears from her eyes, her lips part as she gives me a dubious expression. “Why?”
“I’ll have to show you to explain.”
Evie’s head cocks right as I grab the board and tip it.
As if I’m watching in slow motion, her eyes widen, her legs give out, and she lets out a shrill scream right before she plunges into the water. Pushing the board behind me, I swim for her as she comes up, sputtering for air.
Her incredulous gaze lands on me as I wrap my hands around her waist and whisper in her ear, “I always pushed you in so I could touch you like this.”
Before Evie can respond, I lean forward and capture her lips, devouring the lake’s cold droplets from her mouth. I tilt my head and caress her lips further, asking for entry.
Evie moans into my mouth, her legs wrapping around my waist, making my own groan rumble from my chest as she allows me entrance. Holding an arm around her waist, loving the way her body flushes against mine, the kiss deepens as her breasts push flush against my chest.
She locks her arms around my neck, a hand running through my hair. Her nails scrape my scalp in such a delicious way I shudder, groaning again.
The elevator was a fiery explosion. This is exploratory.
Every moment is us learning each other, our tongues intertwining and making up for years of desire and need. It’s slow and languid, building with intensity, moans being exchanged, and as Evie’s hips begin to writhe against mine, I fear I won’t be able to hold back.
“Fuck, Evie.” I pull back, breathing hard as I drop my forehead to hers. “Wait, we need to slow down.” Otherwise, I’m going to act like a teenager and cum in my goddamn shorts.
Her chest is rising and falling as fast as mine as she nods, her eyes locked on my lips. “Okay.”
Despite my own words, I can’t help myself. I go back in for another kiss.
Evie whimpers into my mouth, and again, I have to physically rip myself away. Letting go of her shouldn’t be this fucking hard and yet here I am, submerging myself into the water so I don’t get carried away.
After giving myself a few seconds to calm my racing heart, I come up for air. She’s gotten a hold of the paddleboard, holding herself atop it.
The flush along her cheeks makes my lips twitch and lets my heart know it’s not alone in how much it enjoyed kissing her. Even the look she’s giving me… We could go further, but I want to take my time, savor it with her.
I hold the board as she slides on, taking a seat on the edge and dangling her legs in the water. I place my arms over the board, drawing patterns along her thigh.
We’re silent as we catch our breaths, the only sound the lake water lapping on the shore as I gently and slowly guide us back.
Evie’s voice is hesitant, unsure, as she stutters, “Do…do you want me in that way?”
I’m stunned speechless for a moment. Her eyes are downcast, hands in her lap as she plays with her cuticles.
She’s serious.
Laying an arm across her leg, I try to catch her gaze but she just slides hers to the side.
“Evie, there is nothing more that I want than to touch you in every way possible. If we kept going I was one second away from embarrassing myself and getting too excited. Believe me when I say I want to experience everything with you.”
Her cheeks tint, flushing such a crimson color it contrasts starkly with her blonde hair. Yet despite my words, she swallows thickly, continuing to fidget with her fingers.
“I just want to take my time,” I add softly. “There’s no need for us to rush.”
She nods along as if it makes sense, but I can sense there’s still a whirlwind of thoughts happening in my favorite mind.
“Dove?” I probe. “Is there something else you’re not saying?”
Shocked blue eyes snap to mine. “Why, can you tell?”
“Tell what?”
Shrugging, Evie resumes fiddling with the skin around her nails. “Can you tell that I’m…different?”
“Different?” Now I’m beyond confused. “What do you mean different?”
Evie bites her bottom lip with such force I watch as her teeth pierce the top layer of skin, blood blooming immediately.
My feet finally touch the sandy bottom. Standing quickly, water cascading down my chest, I lift my hand to her lip, wiping the blood off. “Dove, what’s going on?”
Why is she so nervous? What is she hiding?
“There’s absolutely no pressure to ever do anything. I promise we can go as slow as you want. I just care about you.” My words are meant to soothe her, to lessen the pain I see coursing through her eyes, but instead, tears fill them.
“Hey,” I murmur gently, placing a finger beneath her chin. I force her gaze to mine as I search for answers. “What’s going through that beautiful mind of yours?”
“Ugly thoughts,” she confesses.
“Why don’t you share them?”
Her swallow is audible. “I don’t know…it’s different with you.”
“Good different or bad different?”
Her lips twitch, the smallest smile blooming, allowing a little relief to fill my lungs. “Good,” she whispers.
“Then your thoughts can’t be that ugly, can they?”
“I suppose not.” Wringing her hands in her lap, she seems to force the words out of her mouth, like the task is impossible. “Just be gentle with me, okay?”
“I’ll treat you like the most precious thing in the world, because you are to me.”
Again, despite the reassurance, I can see something eating away at her. I don’t know if I should push or not. I want to, desperately, but what if that is the final thing to make her run?
Push or leave it?
Push or leave it?
Push or leave it?
The million-dollar question when it comes to Evie.
After a moment, I say, “You know you can trust me, right?”
“This isn’t about trust. Believe me, it’s hard enough as it is to try and keep the words in. I’ve wanted to tell you. I really have.” She lifts her eyes, so full of sadness and heartache. “But I don’t think I can.”
“Why can’t you?”
Her bottom lip wobbles. “Because I’m afraid of what you’ll do.”
Before I can stop the reaction, my body flinches as if she struck me. “I’d never hurt you.”
The betrayal that she thinks I would is thick in my voice, the evidence no doubt on display across my face. Evie’s hands snap out, clasping my waist to keep me in place. I didn’t even realize I was pulling away.
“Not to me, Matteo. I know you would never harm me, ever. But I also know you’d do anything for me.”
“You’re being very cryptic,” I can’t help but say.
“I know, and I’m sorry for that. It’s just…hard.” Her forehead lowers to my chest as she murmurs under her breath, “So goddamn hard.”
I run a hand through my hair, not knowing how to help her in this moment. But she ends up pushing off me, trying to smile. “It’s just been a rough twenty-four hours. Let’s keep it happy.”
“Life isn’t happy all the time, Evie. If something’s happening, I want to know. I don’t think you can keep shoving your feelings aside.”
“I’m tired of not being happy, though. Yesterday should have been magical and yet it ended with me bawling my eyes out. That’s not normal, Matteo.”
I can’t help but smile. “Perhaps I’m jaded but you were incredibly lucky to grow up in the household you did, Evie.
Beyond blessed.” At those words, something dark enters her gaze.
“But life usually isn’t happy every day.
Mine wasn’t, and maybe I’m used to the daily heartache, but it would be abnormal if you never experienced hurdles. ”
“Hurdles,” she murmurs, that faraway look in her eyes again. “It’s more than hurdles.”
“What is it then?” I gently probe.
“Hell,” she states flatly.
“Then let me burn in there with you.”
Her eyes flick back and forth, searching. “You really want to know?” she whispers.
“Desperately,” I say with bated breath.
Evie slides off the board, moving out of the water toward our towels. She peers around, finding that we truly are alone before facing me. There’s strength in her gaze, a quiet determination that frightens me.
As she straightens her spine, dread fills my stomach.
Because I have a feeling that her next words are going to be my undoing.
Pulling the paddleboard to shore, I make to approach her but she holds up her hand. “I-I need space to say this.”
My feet stop abruptly. “Okay.” Her complexion then turns a shade of green, her hand moving to her stomach as she avoids my eye. Evie licks her lips a few times, swallowing thickly as if she’s trying not to vomit.
Now true fear encases my body.