56. Matteo
Matteo
My head won’t stop spinning.
My heart won’t stop hurting.
My hands won’t stop clenching.
Because all I can think about is what he did to her.
All I can picture is me asleep down the hall while she was tortured.
All I can imagine is the love of my life screaming and crying, begging someone to help her…and no one ever hearing her call for help.
Now all I want to do is murder the man who brutally tortured her.
Because no justice will ever be enough. I want him buried six feet under for harming her. I want Marcus dead.
My mind is still trying to wrap around it, still trying to merge the image that I’ve had of him for over twenty years with…this.
How could the man who was so kind, patient, and gentle toward everyone have done something so vile?
How could the man who practically raised me, the one who showed me how to respect women, turn around and do what he did?
How could Marcus simultaneously save me and ruin Evie?
It’s been an hour since the big altercation, yet it feels like an eternity. Evie is sitting beside me on the couch, staring off into space, completely detached from what’s occurring around her. All the while, Caleb is pacing in front of us, Kieran sitting to my right, for once silent.
The atmosphere is…I’ve never felt anything like it. It’s as if someone died.
And I suppose, in a way, something did.
Resting my elbows on my knees, I turn my head, eyeing Evie.
I want nothing more than to hug her, to soothe her, stroke her hair, but I can tell by the vacant glassy look in her eyes the last thing anyone should do right now is touch her.
I blow out a breath at how helpless I feel, peering back down at my shoes as the heaviness of the room slowly suffocates me.
Her own father, I think again.
The man who was meant to protect her, the man who was meant to cherish and love her, the one tasked to keep her safe was the very one who terrorized her, who took her innocence and violated her in a way that is so goddamn repulsive I understand Evie’s fear of me murdering him.
Off the ice, I’m not a violent man. It’s different on the ice in a controlled environment. Any slight feeling of violence I’ve ever experienced is purged there, but tonight…tonight I wanted to wring my hands around his neck and squeeze until he stopped breathing.
And Serena…fucking Serena.
She said she didn’t believe her.
She looked her daughter dead in the eye and chose a monster.
The passing months barrel into my chest like I’ve been struck by a train. The sadness weighing Evie down, why it’s been so fucking hard for her to function, why she was avoiding the family for over a year.
The camera.
Oh my fucking god, the camera. That day I went to hand it to her, horror flooded her features. Marcus must’ve given it to her. No wonder she was so hellbent on purchasing a new one herself.
Every little piece of the puzzle is clicking into place.
A gag rings out through the room.
Caleb’s face darkens to a sickly green shade before he spins on his heel and rushes for the bathroom. The sound of his puking follows a second later.
Kieran and I exchange a look, a bone-deep tired look, and for some reason, I feel like he understands how everyone is feeling. As if he has a story of his own, as if he knows exactly what Evie is feeling in this moment.
Just one look and I can see the ghosts that have been haunting him.
After all, I’ve been watching similar ghosts haunt Evie for months.
Standing, Kieran grabs the thick blanket off the edge of the couch and hands it to Evie.
She doesn’t move, doesn’t so much as budge, but Kieran shows her kindness and understanding.
He doesn’t say anything, just gently places the blanket around her, cocooning her body, and I note he’s careful not to touch her.
He knows.
Somehow, he knows exactly what she needs.
I want to pull my hair out that I didn’t think to wrap her in a blanket to make her feel safe, a part of myself hating that I didn’t do it, but it’s nowhere near the magnitude of gratefulness I feel that Kieran is here helping.
He dips his chin at me before going off down the hall, grabbing a glass of water from the kitchen before stepping into the bathroom and closing the door.
It muffles the sound of his soothing words that accompany Caleb’s whimpers as he continues to retch.
“She chose him…again.”
Evie’s broken, cracked words snap my eyes to hers. She’s no longer vacant but she’s weighed down by such sadness that the tears pooling in her eyes make my own sting.
Moving to kneel in front of her, I lift my hand but pause midair. She’s still looking through me, not at me, so I lower my hand, not touching her.
“I know, Dove,” I whisper. “I’m so sorry. We’ll make him pay, I promise. I’ll do everything in my power to get you justice.”
“Why?”
My head rears back. “Because he needs to be punished for what he did.”
Her eyes slide to mine so slowly I’m scared for her next words. A lone tear falls as she says, “My own mother doesn’t believe me. Why would a group of strangers?”
Licking my suddenly dry lips, I plead with my eyes for her to believe my words. “Because it happened, Evie. Because you’re telling the truth. Serena doesn’t want to face the truth, but a jury will.”
“It would be easier if he disappeared.”
“I want him dead.”
The cold voice coming from behind me makes me spin. My eyes land on Caleb in the bathroom doorway. His fists are clenched by his sides, yet to my surprise, his anger is gone as quickly as it arrived, the fight leaving him in the blink of an eye.
A sob breaks free from his chest as he repeats, “I want him dead.”
Kieran moves behind him, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, not turned away from Caleb’s initial flinch. “You have every right to be angry.”
I can’t help but note how careful Kieran is with his words. I’ve yet to hear him say how justice will be served, how Marcus will pay for his crimes. He’s avoided it like the plague.
Caleb swallows thickly as he slowly makes his way over to his sister. I wait to hear what he will say but all he does is sit beside her, hold out his hand, palm up, and stay there.
You could hear a pin drop in the apartment.
Evie takes one look at his offered hand before ever so slowly lifting her head to her brother.
It’s as if a dam breaks as their gazes lock.
The tears rolling down her cheeks turn into a river.
Then, a sudden sharp sob cracks from her chest before she topples forward into her brother’s awaiting arms.
My chest aches, physically pains to the point that I have to clutch it, trying to soothe the wave of hurt at seeing just how devastated they are. It doesn’t let up as Caleb drops his forehead to his sister’s head and weeps alongside her. Both of them clinging to each other.
I turn away from the sight, trying to give them privacy. And to give myself a moment to get my shit together.
I need to be stronger than this. I need to be strong for Evie.
Kieran follows me, although the open-floor plan doesn’t allow any semblance of privacy. With that being said, I don’t think I’d do well if I couldn’t see Evie. I think I’d go into cardiac arrest.
Is it wrong that I never want to leave her side?
Kieran clears his throat, pulling my attention from the two most important people in my life.
“Grayson has tried to do damage control. He called his PR team the second we left the restaurant but it’s online already.
A bunny was following Irving and recorded the whole thing.
” Kieran takes his hat off to run a hand through his shaggy black hair before continuing.
“I think you need to take Evie far away from the city. It’s going to be a bloodbath online.
” He looks past my shoulder. “Caleb, too.”
“Fuck,” I curse.
Everything has been taken out of Evie’s hands. Her choice to tell Caleb, gone. Her choice to never see Marcus again, gone. Her choice to not tell anyone…gone.
“She’s being forced again,” I whisper, my voice cracking. “She’s being forced to tell.”
Kieran’s lips thin as he dips his chin. “I know, man. I’m so sorry.”
Trying to wrap my mind around what our lives are going to look like in the coming weeks makes me sick to my stomach. “I’ll take them up the mountain. Rent a cabin for a few days.”
“I’ll tell Coach. He’ll understand. Would encourage it, actually.”
Lifting my arms only to drop them helplessly at my sides, I croak out, “How do I help? What if I say or do the wrong thing? What can I even do to help?”
Kieran looks at me for what feels like an eternity before sighing heavily. “There’s nothing you can do to fix this. We just need to be there for them. Be a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen when they’re mad.” His gaze flicks behind me and back again. “We need to keep Caleb far away from Marcus.”
“Agreed,” I whisper, shuddering. “That fucker better not try and come anywhere near us or I’ll lose it.”
“You had a lot more self-control than I would’ve.”
“Trust me, that was only for Evie’s benefit.”
Eyeing me, he lowers his voice even more. “How are you doing? They were your family too, Valenti.”
I wish he hadn’t asked that.
Because I’m barely controlling my emotions, barely holding onto my sanity, barely functioning at this point. I’m trying to process it all but it’s twenty years of memories that I need to look back on and alter completely.
Family dinners.
Camping trips.
Holidays.
Fucking hell, I need to look at everything differently.
It was one thing learning what Evie went through, but hearing who did it? That was soul destroying.
I try to take a breath but find I can’t. “All that matters is Evie.”
“You matter too, and once she comes out of her haze, you can help each other heal.”
Shaking my head, I run a hand over the stubble on my jaw. “No, it’s harder for them.”
“Evie, yes, but it’s just as devastating for you as it is Caleb. It’s his biological father but he was yours as well. Everyone knows you were a part of the Ellington family.”