Chapter 12
Chapter
Twelve
Serena
I’m up early, before Joey and West, and I leave them in bed as I try to clean up as best I can in the bathroom. Being cold sucks, and the next big-ticket item I’m going to save up for is a damn generator. West told me he has one at his house and his roommates have been warm and toasty.
It’s not too bad during the day here, but last night Joey’s room got downright frigid.
Mom guilt set in immediately, and though it was frustrating having to bring him into bed with us, it was the only option.
There was no way I was going to leave my baby in that cold room, even though he was wearing flannel pajamas and had two blankets on his bed.
My face gets a little warm as I think about what West and I were doing just before Joey interrupted us.
Did I really go down on him like that?
I’m not embarrassed but part of me is worried that he’ll somehow think less of me.
I know it’s ridiculous. It takes two to tango and we’re consenting adults, but the past comes back to haunt me sometimes.
I slept with Joey’s father the night I met him, and the night after that.
It seemed like we had a connection and he was interested in seeing me again.
Until I told him I was pregnant.
Then he said something along the lines of ‘women like you aren’t the kind of women you settle down with—you’re the kind we just have fun with.’ I know he’s a jerk. I understand that it’s a failing on his part, not mine, but it still hurts when I think about it.
And obviously it’s made me a little insecure.
Does West think the same thing? That I’m just someone he wants to have fun with? And if so, what are we doing?
It’s just a kiss, angel…
That’s what he said but there have been a lot of kisses. Touching. A blow job. Some orgasms. Is that all it is? A little sexual distraction while we’re stuck here together?
Maybe I’m na?ve.
A stupid girl from the south who has more looks than brains.
Ugh.
I really need to stop this self-deprecation.
I’m better than that.
If West thinks less of me for putting out, so to speak, that’s on him. Because he participated too. Anything he thinks of me, well, it applies to him as well. That’s all there is to it. And I’ll keep telling myself that until I believe it. Which may take the rest of my life, but I’m trying.
Steeling my resolve, I finish getting ready for the day, changing into clean sweats and underclothes, and brushing my hair back into a ponytail.
I don’t mind the lack of electricity other than how cold it gets where Joey sleeps, but the one thing that’s beyond inconvenient is not being able to shower.
Or wash my hair. Or give Joey a bath. That’s part of his routine and I know that’s partly why he woke up last night.
When I walk into the kitchen, the sky is dark and ugly, which is a little foreboding.
“Morning.” West comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my middle.
“Morning.” I lean back against him.
“I have an idea,” he says after a moment.
“What kind of idea?”
“Rudy said the main roads look okay. He walked up there early this morning. It’s supposed to be forty today, which means the ice will start melting.”
“So, we can go see what happened to my car?”
“Either that or…” He turns me around so we’re facing each other and he looks down into my face. “We go to my house. Where we not only have a generator, but the electricity is back on and it might still be a few days before it comes on here.”
I turn to gape at him. “Well, that’s not fair.”
“I know but going to my place means…showers. Hot food. Clean clothes. You could bring your laundry so we can take care of that before I have to leave on my trip.”
There is no chance I’m going to say no. To hell with my pride—I want a shower more than almost anything.
“You realize offering me a hot shower is the sexiest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
He throws back his head and laughs. “I definitely need to up my game then but seriously—I’m right there with you. I shower two or three times a day sometimes, so this has been rough.”
“You smell okay,” I tell him, gently elbowing him in the ribs. “Or you’d be sleeping in your car.”
“And you smell like strawberries,” he murmurs, leaning over and pressing a kiss on the side of my neck.
I sigh happily. “It’s a body spray I use sometimes. I figured between that and deodorant, I wouldn’t gross you out.”
“You could never gross me out.” He pulls me close but instead of kissing me, he just wraps his arms around me.
“What’s going on with hockey? Don’t you have a road trip?”
“Looks like we’re leaving tomorrow, because there may be another arctic blast coming over the weekend.”
I can’t help rolling my eyes. “Who pissed off Mother Nature?”
He chuckles, blue eyes crinkling. “I wish I knew. Listen, I’m going to go give Rudy a hand, see if we can get that tree out of the road and get out of here.”
“Do you want a bagel before you go?”
“I’ll eat when I come back but you should pack up whatever you want to bring with you, including dirty laundry!”
I watch him pull on his shoes and windbreaker wishing I had warmer clothes for him, but my stuff would undoubtedly be too small. He’s never complained, though. Not about anything. Sleeping on the couch. Instant oatmeal. Leftover stew. Not even when Joey interrupted our sexy times.
He’s a nice guy.
Probably not the guy for me, but someone I hope I can stay friends with. I don’t know how I would have survived the last couple of days without him. Well, I would have been okay once I got home, but I truly don’t know how I would have gotten here. In the end, I would have called Rudy, I suppose.
Even so, I’m worried about my car sitting on the highway the last two days. I can’t imagine it’s been towed since half the city is shut down, but even if it hasn’t, it’s going to be expensive to get it to a mechanic.
I should have bought something newer, but I was pregnant and had just been written off of Dusty Peaks, losing my income.
I had to give back the Lexus I was leasing so I wouldn’t have a car payment.
I thought I was being responsible by buying something outright.
The trouble, of course, was that I got nothing for my Lexus once I ended the lease, so I had to buy something old.
With no warranty. Short-term, it helped me get on my feet. Long-term, it’s biting me in the ass.
If I have to buy a new car, it’s going to force me to tighten my belt even more than I already do.
Daycare is expensive and I was hoping to keep my current car until Joey starts kindergarten.
That will free up a ton of money but that’s eighteen months from now, so I’m going to have to come up with a whole new budget if the Honda isn’t fixable.
“Mommy.” Joey pads into the kitchen. “Hun-gwy.”
“Okay, baby. How about oatmeal?”
“’kay.” He climbs up into his highchair and plays with a toy car as I try to get the water boiling in the wood stove. West is better at this, but I’m determined not to admit defeat.
“Mommy!” Joey calls out impatiently.
“Sorry, just a few more minutes.”
I’m flustered today and I don’t know if it’s because of what West and I did last night, the stress of the situation is getting to me, or something else.
I clean up from breakfast and get Joey dressed for the day.
I pull out a suitcase and throw in clothes for the two of us.
I grab my toiletries along with Joey’s toothbrush and toothpaste.
Then I fill a garbage bag with our laundry.
It seems like a lot but it’s been over a week since I did laundry, so it makes sense.
And I have a feeling West isn’t going to care how much laundry I have.
I’m trying to decide whether I should bring anything from the pantry when West comes in, looking delightfully disheveled and sexy as hell.
“You ready to go?” he asks.
I nod. “Did you get the tree out of the road?”
“We did so let me put everything in the SUV and let’s blow this popsicle stand!”
“Joey, put your shoes on, buddy.”
Joey looks up from where he’s coloring. “Are we going to West’s house?”
“We are.”
“Yay!”
“Kid’s ready for an adventure,” West says with a chuckle.
“I’m ready for a shower.”
We laugh together as we start bringing everything out to his SUV. I’m a little nervous about meeting West’s friends but also excited about going somewhere with power. And a hot shower.
Not to mention getting to spend a little more time with West.
I’m not ready to say goodbye yet.