Chapter 24
Chapter
Twenty-Four
Serena
“There’s just no way,” I say after we’ve crunched the numbers every which way. “I can’t swing it without living off my credit cards, no matter how badly I want a new car.”
“But what’s the alternative?” West asks.
“You have to work. Your current car will cost at least six thousand dollars to get it running, and then what? It’s going to break down again.
It won’t be the transmission, but it could be the alternator or the fuel line or a dozen other things on a car that old. ”
“You don’t understand,” I say quietly, hating the tears welling up in my eyes.
“Hey, come on—don’t cry.” He reaches for me and tugs me against his chest.
We’re sitting on his bed with my laptop and a pad of paper, and all I see is money I don’t have.
“I hate that my life has come to this,” I whisper angrily. “I hate that I have to be in a position where Joey can’t play T-ball or soccer or whatever because I can’t afford the fees. Or that I have to choose between food and a reliable car.”
“You don’t,” he says, stroking my hair. “Because I have an idea.”
“You can’t save me, West! We’re too new for that. I don’t want to rely on you because what happens when we break up? Then—”
“Okay, wait. Stop.” He pulls away slightly and lifts my chin. “You haven’t even heard my idea.”
I swipe at my eyes and nod. “Okay. I’m listening.”
“Now hear me out before you say no.”
“Uh oh.”
“Bodi and Jayne are moving out soon. Not right away, but their house should be done by early summer. What if you moved in and we made that Joey’s room?
I charge Bodi a thousand dollars a month.
That includes all utilities, cable, and internet.
Plus a parking spot in the garage. Joey could have their room and you’d be with me. ”
I’m not sure if the roaring in my ears is because I’m shocked, grateful, or think he’s fucking with me.
He can’t be serious.
I stare at him blankly because I truly don’t know what to say.
“How long until your lease is up?” he continues.
“I, um, I don’t have a lease. We’ve been month-to-month for a long time.”
“So, let’s give it a try. Give Rudy a month’s notice and move in here. You’ll have a few months of not paying anything until Bodi and Jayne move out, so you can buy that SUV you want. And then—”
“And if things don’t work out with us?” I ask incredulously. “Rudy could rent out my apartment and then I’ll never find a place I can afford. I’ll be even worse off than I am now!”
He shakes his head. “I won’t let that happen. We’ll come up with a back-up plan.”
“West, you can’t possibly want me to move in. It’s been…two weeks!”
“I know.” One shoulder lifts in a half-shrug. “Believe me, I keep going over it in my head and while one part of me thinks I’m a dumbass, a bigger part feels like this is the right thing to do. I can’t explain it. The connection has been there from the moment we met.”
“When I accused you of being a serial killer?” I ask wryly.
He smiles. “Yeah, even then.”
“West, I can’t just move in. I mean, short-term, Joey would have to sleep with us because he can’t disrupt Lindy’s sleep regularly.”
“We’ll put him on an air mattress on the floor,” he says.
“And what would I do with all my stuff?”
“I don’t know the logistics yet,” he admits. “I just know this is one thing I can offer you that isn’t money.”
“I don’t want to move in because you feel sorry for me,” I whisper. “That isn’t romantic at all.”
He’s quiet for what feels like a long time, eyes focused on mine. “Is romance important to you, angel?”
“Very.”
“Believe it or not, it is to me too. I guess I don’t show it very well but—”
“What are you talking about?” I demand, shaking my head. “You’ve been wonderful.”
“Maybe.” He shrugs. “But wonderful and romantic aren’t the same thing. You do realize I’ve fucked you every way to Sunday but have yet to take you out on a date.”
I flush a little at his blunt words, but he has a point. “Okay, but there have been extenuating circumstances. An ice storm that kept us locked away at home and then you had a road trip. Those were both out of our control.”
“Yeah, but still. I’d like to take you out on a date,” he says. “Something distinctly romantic—without Joey.”
“We have to see if I can trade babysitting duties with Jayne,” I say. “But I’d like that too.”
He puts a hand on the side of my face. “This thing with us—it’s more than just sex. More than extenuating circumstances. Please tell me I’m not imagining it.”
God, I’m falling harder every day. Pretty soon, I’m going to be head over heels.
“You’re not,” I whisper gruffly. “I feel it too. But it scares the crap out of me.”
“Me too.”
We stare at each other for a long time.
I don’t know what demons lurk behind his gorgeous blue eyes but there’s no doubt they’re a reflection of my own. Something we share.
“We can’t let them win,” I say after a moment.
He nods, apparently completely in tune with what I’m thinking. “I know. That’s why I want to do this. I’ve been fighting my feelings because it seems ridiculous. Two weeks… how can we possibly be talking about living together after two weeks?”
“Probably because we started out that way,” I point out. “We were complete strangers and I invited you in. When you couldn’t leave, we spent two days living together. It felt like exactly the right place, right time, and right person. I’ve never had a man stay at my apartment.”
“Yet you didn’t hesitate to invite me.”
“No.” There’s no denying it. “There was something about you that felt safe. And then you kissed me and…I lost every ounce of good sense.”
“I’ve been told I’m a good kisser but not that good…”
“Oh, you’re better than that good. Every time you touch me is better than the last. I can’t get enough.”
“It’s the same for me.”
“The difference is that I don’t bring anything to the table. And before you say you don’t need anything, you do. Even if you don’t know it, you need me to be a partner, not a liability.”
“You’re not a liability. You bring warmth to the table.
Companionship that isn’t settling—we legit have a lot in common.
You’re sweet and beautiful and thoughtful.
Like the evening you planned last night.
That’s what I need from you. Not money. Just time and attention and…
love. And I mean that in both senses of the word.
Yes, for it to work out we’d need to fall in love, but I’m also talking about being loving.
Giving me a shoulder to lean on when I’m having a tough day.
Reaching out when I’m on the road just to say you’re thinking about me—things that make me feel loved. ”
I throw myself against him and wrap my arms around his neck. His arms close around me and I revel in his warmth. His strength. His vulnerability.
“That’s what I want too. It’s nice that you have money, I won’t lie, but I’d rather have the things you described with a poor guy than be nothing but an afterthought with a rich guy.”
“And I’d rather have what we have with someone who thinks she’s a liability than have something superficial with a successful workaholic.”
I don’t know if that’s a reference to his ex or not but I don’t care. I love how honest we’re being. I’ve never had a conversation like this with a man before. Of course, I’ve never met a man like West before.
“I don’t know what to do next,” I whisper against his hair. “I want to move in, more than anything, but it can’t be because it’s the only way I can afford this car. That just puts us at a disadvantage.”
“What if…” He pulls away just enough to look down into my face.
“What if I just buy the car and you drive it? I know you’re worried about things not working out between us, but I can’t let you be without a car.
And buying another old, used car that you can afford is just going to land you right back where you are now.
Let me help. Let me be your person. Even when you feel like a liability. ”
Tears stream down my face as I press my lips to his.
I don’t know how to respond, I just know I’m crazy about him and don’t want to lose him.
There are a lot of logistics to think about, including his relationship with Joey, but right now I need to be close to him.
To revel in everything he is and what we’re becoming together.
It’s only been two weeks but it feels like an eternity. Like we’ve always known each other and were always meant to be together. I can’t bring myself to say those words out loud but I know he’s right here with me. I can feel it in his touch, his kisses, and the beating of his heart.
“I need you,” I breathe against his mouth.
The words are barely out of my mouth before I’m flat on my back with him on top of me, his mouth pillaging mine. His steely erection is pressed against my stomach and he pauses just long enough to grab a condom out of the nightstand.
“Tell me how you want it.”
“Hard and fast and hot—show me how much you want me.”
And he does.