Chapter 30
Chapter
Thirty
Serena
Despite the support from West and my determination to behave as if everything is okay, nothing is okay.
Well, not nothing. Joey is safe, happy, and healthy.
I have a good job I enjoy. And now I have this amazing boyfriend, along with new friends.
Everything should be incredible. Instead, I’m in a constant state of worry.
As I drive back to my apartment after work on Monday to pick up some clothes I’ll need for the week, all the little things that have been piling up start to freak me out.
I still haven’t decided what to do about the car situation.
I’m driving West’s SUV while he uses his Ferrari or rides to the arena with one of his roommates.
I’m getting used to having a really nice vehicle but it’s not mine and I have to figure out where to go from here.
I’m due for a raise at work but not until next school year, which doesn’t start until August.
West has given me so many options, but all of them require him to carry the financial load.
He can afford it. A twenty-five-thousand-dollar car is nothing to him.
But it’s everything to me. I truly don’t want to start this new phase of my life—essentially the best relationship I’ve ever had—with money between us.
It would be different if we’d been dating a year.
Hell, six months even. Instead of just under a month.
If we break up, how do I pay him back? He says he wouldn’t ask for anything, but what if he did?
Or if he buys the car and just lets me drive it, I’m in even worse shape because I have very little in my no-touch emergency fund.
It’s a thousand dollars for the rainiest of rainy days.
Short of a life-threatening emergency, I don’t touch it.
And even if I did, what kind of junker is a thousand dollars going to buy me?
Then there’s the living together situation.
It’s tied to the car situation.
And the reasons not to are the same.
If I give up my apartment and move in with him, I can afford the car.
If we break up, I’m in deep shit because coming up with first, last, and security would be impossible. Sure, if we lived together six months or so, I’d have time to save up, but how much?
The thing is, I know West really likes me. I don’t know if he’s falling in love like I am, but the signs are pointing in that direction.
Insta-love.
It’s the kind of thing everyone laughs about when you read it in romance novels.
Until it happens to you.
Then it’s not so funny.
There’s so much swirling around in my brain I don’t notice the big black SUV parked in front of my apartment at first. It’s not until I pull up next to what’s supposed to be my parking spot that I realize it’s there.
And who’s in it.
Dammit.
Tony fucking DeMarco.
“Hey, gorgeous.” He gets out of his SUV and grins at me like we’re old friends.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, slamming the door of West’s SUV.
“We need to talk.”
“The time for talking was four years ago. Now, we have nothing to say.”
“Where’s my boy?” he asks, peering into the SUV.
“At school,” I say. “I don’t pick him up until six.”
“So, daycare.”
“Preschool in the morning, and then daycare, yes. I have to work.”
He cocks his head. “What, McGregor not giving you money?”
I sigh. “What do you want, Tony? I’m busy.”
“Why are you still living in a dump like this if you’re with McGregor?”
I grit my teeth. “It’s not a dump. And West and I are taking things slow.”
He laughs. “You know he has a bunny in every city we play in, right?”
Ugh. That’s gross to even think about.
“And?” I fold my arms across my chest, tapping my foot impatiently.
“He’s not going to marry you, Serena. You’re not even acting anymore. At least back then you had something worthwhile going on. Now you’re a single mom with…what? Some kind of teaching job?”
He’s done a background check or something. At the very least, he found out where I work and live.
This is just the beginning of whatever it is he has planned, apparently, so I need to brace myself.
“Again, what do you want? I have to go get Joey.”
“I want to spend some time with my son.” He suddenly drops the arrogant facade and runs a hand through his unruly dark hair.
“Look, I’m sorry about the way I reacted when you told me you were pregnant.
It was a couple of nights of fun—I had no plans to see you again.
I definitely had no interest in becoming a dad.
I was focused on hockey, you know? I was scared too. ”
“So, your reaction to fear was to threaten to take him away from me? Even though with your schedule you know damn well you wouldn’t have been able to take care of him.”
“I thought that would scare you enough to get rid of it!” he says quietly. “Then neither of us would be impacted. I never dreamed you’d walk away from Dusty Peaks and be this…” He motions around us. “I don’t know. The stereotypical single mom.”
“There’s nothing wrong with who I am, what I’m doing, or how I’m raising my son.”
“Our son.”
I sigh. “So, what? You want visitation? You planning to send me three years of child support?”
He looks startled for a beat but then shrugs. “I guess. If that’s what I have to do.”
“Why, Tony? You’re on the road, you don’t live in Atlanta, or—”
“I could ask for a trade.”
My heart stutters.
Like hell. If he comes here, West told me he would leave.
No no no.
This can’t be happening. I don’t know how I’m going to fix this, but I have to come up with a plan.
“Even if you managed to get traded here, you still have a crazy schedule. When would you see him? On your days off, he’s at school. And—”
“We’d work it out. Lots of guys are married with kids.”
“But we’re not married. Nor are we going to be.”
“There’s no reason we couldn’t try to… you know, see what happens? For Joey’s sake? I mean, if it doesn’t work out, at least we tried.”
“That’s not happening. I’m involved with West. It’s serious.”
“Then why do you live in this dump instead of with him?”
“Because I’m not a gold digger, like you insinuated. We’re moving toward that point but I want it to be on my terms.”
He rolls his eyes. “Jesus, Serena. If you don’t care about yourself, don’t you care about the kid?”
The kid.
Not my son or my boy, but the kid. His true feelings are bound to come out. Hopefully, sooner rather than later.
“Besides, I’ve changed,” he continues. “I can help.”
That makes me want to laugh, even though I don’t.
“I’ll be better,” he continues. “For the ki—er, for Joey’s sake. Be present in his life. Buy him things. Make sure he has what he needs. And you too, to an extent. Even if we’re not together.”
I don’t believe him for a second, but I have to be patient and rational because I know how he is when he’s pissed. Nice Tony is much easier to deal with than pissed-off Tony.
“Look, I have things to do. Tell me what you want.”
“I’m only here today and tomorrow. Wednesday I’m on a plane to New York to meet up with the team.
Can I please just spend a few hours with him?
Please, Serena? This doesn’t have to be acrimonious.
We can work something out between us. What if I transfer twenty-five grand into your bank account? Today. I can—”
“Wait. Stop.” I hold up a hand, my head spinning at the offer of what could be a life-changing offer to me.
“I don’t want money.” Yes, I do. So much.
“If you want to see him, we have to make plans. He has school and I have work.” After I’ve had time to think.
“If you want to plan another trip, we’ll figure it out but I can’t just leave my job and pull him out of school because you suddenly want to play daddy. ”
He looks like he wants to protest but nods. “Okay. Do you still have my number?”
No, I fucking blocked him almost four years ago.
I don’t say that out loud, though. I merely shake my head and pull out my phone. As I pull up adding a new contact feature, I type in “Sperm Donor” instead of his name. Which almost makes me smile. Then I put in his number and reluctantly give him mine.
This is going to be a disaster, but I don’t know what else to do.
If he doesn’t get his way, he turns into Pissed-Off Tony, and that version of him is threatening and unreasonable. At least this version is calm, and he’s listening. Short-term, this is the best I can hope for.
Long-term, I have to come up with a plan.