Chapter 30
Chapter Thirty
Delaney
“So, where are you two ladies going today?” Mom’s being extra cheery after I told her and my dad last night that Leia is actually Bennett’s.
They took it well, and my mom admitted she’d never wondered until after she ran into Wren and Bennett at the library.
She couldn’t help but notice how much Wren resembled Leia.
I half wonder if this whole town has been whispering behind my back.
Of course, my dad said it was a good thing because now she’s no longer tied to that no-good son of a bitch, Sean.
“The museum.” Leia grins. “But Mom said no to Wren or Kayla going. It’s a mommy and daughter day.”
Mom ruffles her hair. “Sounds like a fun day. Maybe you can have Wren and Kayla over another time. Summer is almost here. One more week to go.”
“Wren said I can go to the ranch, and we can ride bikes, feed the ducks, and horseback ride.”
My mom glances at me with raised eyebrows over Leia’s head. I ignore the look and grab the brush from the table to get Leia’s hair out of her face.
Leia finishes her breakfast while I do her hair, then we say goodbye to my mom and get in the car to make the drive to Lincoln.
She’s quiet most of the ride, and I finally push my nerves aside to begin our conversation to gauge where she is with everything.
“What do you think of Willowbrook?” I ask. “Do you like it?”
She turns to look at me in the rearview mirror. “Yeah.”
“Do you miss California?”
“Will we ever see Daddy again?”
My heart cracks. “I… don’t know.” I’ve always tried to be as honest as I could be with Leia, other than the whole “her daddy isn’t who she thinks he is” thing.
“He hasn’t even called or wrote me a letter.”
I look at her reflection. What am I doing? Thinking I’m going to tell her that her daddy isn’t who she thinks between the pretend shopping area and the rope bridge at the museum?
I get off the highway at the next exit.
“Where are we going?” she asks.
“We’re turning around, and I’m going to take you somewhere else. If you want to go to the museum later, we can.” I stop us at a gas station, get out of the car, and make the necessary call to pull this off.
“Who were you talking to?” she asks when I slide into the driver’s seat again.
“Just Poppy.”
Returning us to Willowbrook, I follow the roads that lead me to Plain Daisy Ranch, hoping like hell Bennett doesn’t see me. But I don’t want to tell my daughter the truth surrounded by hundreds of strangers. I have no idea how she’ll react.
I park outside the stables and Leia screams, “Mommy, Sparkles!”
“I know.”
Poppy walks out of the stables with Nash at her side, holding the reins of Junebug, all saddled and ready for us.
“Thanks, you guys.”
“Of course. Nash and I can guide you, then he wants to go workout a horse to give you some space.”
“I can’t thank you enough for this. I tried the museum but just couldn’t do it.”
She smiles. “Yeah, this is better. The advantages of living on a ranch.” She claps her hands. “Ready, Leia?”
Leia looks back from watching the other worker with Sparkles in the corral. She climbs down from the fence and runs over.
A worker comes out of the stable with helmets in hand. Nash hands the reins of Junebug to Poppy and returns with another horse, and a worker brings out another one. I get up on Junebug first.
“Look at who has become a pro all these years later.” Poppy laughs.
I roll my eyes. “Couldn’t have my daughter learn if I couldn’t ride with her.”
“Eh, I think it’s that you just couldn’t stay away from ranch life.” A teasing smile lands on her lips.
Nash helps Leia up onto Junebug so she can ride in front of me. “All good? Poppy will lead, and I’ll follow in case anything…”
“Thanks, Nash.” I give him a smile.
He nods, and I can’t gauge if he knows or not. I’m sure Poppy wouldn’t have told him, although they seem awfully close. No, she wouldn’t, but eventually everyone in this town will know anyway, so what’s the difference?
“Let’s go, cowgirls.” He smiles at Leia, and she squeals, running her hands down Junebug’s neck.
We head up the trail I rode with Bennett so many times, and with every step, my heart grows heavy. I’m not sure he’ll ever forgive me, and I’m not sure I can blame him, so I need to shut off that part of myself. Get rid of the hope that we could somehow be anything but coparents from now on.
I’m so lost in my thoughts, and keeping Leia balanced, that the ride passes quickly. Before I know it, we’ve reached our destination. Again, Nash helps Leia, and I climb down myself. He takes charge of securing Junebug to a tree.
“We’ll be back in a little bit,” Poppy says, hugging me.
Nash flawlessly gets up on the horse and offers a hand to Poppy to help her, making it all look so easy. Just like Bennett used to.
The two of them ride off, and I walk us over to the creek and grab a handful of pebbles.
“I need to tell you something, Leia, and you’re welcome to feel however you want.
Your feelings are yours, and there’s no right or wrong.
I want you to know that, okay?” I pour some of the pebbles into her hand.
She throws one in the water, not saying anything.
“Daddy is most likely going to be in jail for a very long time.”
“I know. Marcus said his dad said he’ll be lucky to ever get out.”
Of course parents have discussed it in front of their kids who have decided to talk to my kid about it. I take a deep breath through my frustration.
“Yeah. I know that makes you sad, but he did some really bad things, broke laws, and—”
“I know.”
“I’m sure you must miss him.” I sit on a rock and watch her stand at the water’s edge, tossing in the small pebbles as if she’s trying to get them to go farther with every throw.
“It’s kind of like we’re on vacation or like Daddy is away on one of his work trips. Sometimes I forget. Then I feel bad that he’s in jail.”
“That’s understandable.”
“Do you think they’re nice to him?”
I mask my real reaction. “I’m sure he’s made friends. He was always talking to everyone, remember?”
She glances at me and smiles. “Yeah.”
“I’m sorry that he went to jail.” I rest my forearms on my thighs and clasp my hands together.
She shrugs. “Me too. I know you miss him because you’re always crying.”
So, I haven’t done a good job of hiding my tears. She doesn’t need to know the real reason I’m crying, and that it’s not from missing her dad.
I swallow my nerves and move the conversation forward. “Leia, I made a decision back when I was pregnant with you.” I push the words past the lump in my throat. “And there’s something I’ve been keeping from you.”
She turns around, a frown marking her sweet face. “Why?”
“Because I was trying to protect you.” I hold out my arms.
She allows the few pebbles left in her palm to plop into the creek and walks over. I situate her on my lap, pressing my forehead to hers, and hold her for what might be the last time for a while depending on her reaction.
“What’s wrong, Mommy?” She draws back and puts her hand on my cheek.
“Your daddy isn’t your biological dad. Do you know what that means?”
She shakes her head.
“It means that your daddy loved you, so, so much. He wanted you very much, and he wanted to be your daddy, but the reason you have your eyes and the way you look is because of another man, someone I was dating before your daddy. Does that make sense?”
Her small forehead crinkles. “Is that why Grandma Kat was always saying it’s a shame I didn’t get olive skin?”
Sean’s mom always used to say how strong their genes were and that she found it odd that Leia didn’t share her father’s coloring. I have no idea if Sean held that secret or not all this time, though I’m starting to think perhaps she did know.
After Sean was arrested, and I started divorce proceedings, she called me and told me she wanted nothing to do with Leia or me because I wasn’t standing by my man.
“Yes, that’s why.”
Leia’s quiet for a beat, trying to puzzle it out.
I run my hand down her hair. “I’m going to tell you some things, and you might not understand at first, but you can ask me as many questions as you’d like. Wren’s daddy, Bennett, and I dated in high school.”
She nods, a shy smile on her face. “Wren told me.”
“And then we met again when we were adults. He was the man I was dating before Daddy and… he’s your biological dad.”
Her little forehead wrinkles. “Wren’s daddy?”
I nod.
Her eyes widen. “We have the same daddy?”
I nod again.
She climbs off my lap and picks up some pebbles. I give her the space she needs to process what she’s able to, even if she has no idea how this will impact her life.
She’ll probably never see Sean again and now has to deal with someone new coming into the fold.
I’ve learned over the years never to rush Leia. She’ll talk when she’s ready.
Ten minutes later, she tosses a pebble. “Does that make Wren my sister?”
“Yes.”
“Her mommy died.”
“Yes.”
“Did you know she never met her?”
“I do.”
Another pebble drops in the creek.
“That’s sad. I can’t imagine not having you.”
I have to push back the tears. “I can’t imagine not having you.”
She throws the last pebble and walks back over to me, sitting on the rock next to me. I try not to read too much into the fact that she didn’t sit on my lap.
“Do I have to live with him?” she asks.
“No. Eventually you might want to spend some nights there, but that’s way down the line.”
“So Mrs. Owens is my grandma?”
I nod again.
“I haven’t met Wren’s dad.”
“He wants to meet you.”
Her face turns toward me, alarm flashing in her eyes. “He does?”
“Yeah.” I hope one day she doesn’t hate me for the decisions I made back then.
“Okay,” she whispers, not looking at me.
My heart lifts with relief that this part is over. Sure, we have a long way to go, but she knows the truth now.
God, I hate it when Levi’s right.