Chapter 3 #2
I put my hand on my hip. "You don't get to decide who I see. Ivanovs make decisions. You follow their orders. And I'm demanding you tell me where he is."
He chuckles. "Is that how you see it?"
"Yes."
"You're wrong. I get to decide what survives scrutiny," he asserts.
Pain shoots through my heart. I wince and swallow hard. "If you hurt him…"
His eyes sharpen. "I saved his career and freedom. Red's biggest vulnerability isn't evidence or the arrest. It's you. So I removed the leverage."
The truth settles in my chest with brutal clarity. My breath shortens, and I press my palms flat against the table to steady myself. "You think I'll disappear?"
"I think you'll comply. That's different."
Silence stretches between us. The hum of the refrigerator fills the space, too loud, too present.
"Demi went to you?" I ask.
He nods. "She did."
Anger flares again, but something else slides underneath it, colder and steadier. "You didn't tell my father?"
"No."
"You didn't tell any of my uncles?"
"No. Like I said, not yet."
I straighten. "Then this stays contained."
He peers closer, studying me until I want to burn into ashes. Then he states, "That depends on you."
I step back, creating distance because standing close feels dangerous. I lie, "You don't scare me."
He stands, and the room shifts the moment he's on his feet. He comes close enough to register heat and quietly asserts, "I'm not here to scare you. I'm here to set terms."
My pulse spikes. "You don't get to set terms for my life."
"I already have," he replies.
Of course he has.
I lift my chin. "Say them."
"No contact. No explanation. No attempts to repair what was removed."
"And if I don't comply?"
He watches my face closely, cataloging every micro-expression. "Then everything becomes louder."
My throat tightens. "You're threatening me."
"I'm informing you."
I laugh once, sharp and brittle. "You men all use the same language."
His gaze darkens, something flickering beneath the control. "You're not wrong."
The admission throws me off-balance. I study his face, the sharp lines, the calm authority, the confidence that doesn't require volume.
I warn, "You think this ends quietly?"
"I know it does. Unless you foolishly don't let it."
"And Red?"
"He walks free with his career intact, a clean record, and no further scrutiny. Everything that happened today becomes a mistaken identity by the authorities."
My hands shake. I grasp them together to try to hide it. "And what about me?"
He pauses with the smallest hesitation. "You remain protected."
The words lands wrong. "At what cost?"
He steps back, giving me space again. "If you love him like you think you do, then you'll do what's best for him."
My hands curl into fists at my sides. "Don't speak to me about love!"
He shrugs. "Fine. But you're inside our perimeter now. If you think your family will stand for this, you're mistaken. If they find out, things get very ugly for your lover. So I suggest you keep his best interest at heart at all times, now and in the future."
My knees wobble, so I grab the back of a chair to steady myself.
He walks to the exit, then spins. "Think carefully, Blue. Some things survive because they get buried, and only because they don't come to light. This is one of them. And this conversation won't happen again. Have a good day." He opens the door and shuts it behind him.
I stand alone in my apartment, heart racing, lungs working too hard to keep up. I sink onto the chair nearest the table, toss my bag on it, and press my hands flat against my thighs, trying to ground myself.
My phone dings. I pull it out of my purse and glance at the screen.
Demi: We need to talk.
My phone buzzes again.
Demi: I'm downstairs and coming up.
I jump up, go to the door, and open it. Three minutes pass until the elevator dings.
Demi steps off it, hurries down the hallway, her sympathy exploding. She tugs me into her arms. "Are you okay?"
I hug her back and let tears fall, sniffling, "Yeah. Come in." I step back inside.
She follows and shuts the door, announcing, "Don't worry. I got you."
My throat tightens. "Everything is so messed up."
She steps closer. "Mikhail was here?"
"Yes."
"Did he threaten you?"
"He set terms."
Her jaw tightens. "Of course he did."
"Why did you get him involved?"
She scoffs, "Who else was going to make everything disappear and get him out of the slammer?"
I bite on my lip, scrunching my face.
She hugs me again. "It's okay. We'll figure this out. Promise."
"How?" I ask, feeling hopeless.
She squeezes me tight, then retreats. "Let's sit down."
"Okay." I lead her to the couch, and we sit. I blurt out, "Mikhail called me leverage."
Her mouth curves, humorless. "You are."
Tears well in my eyes again.
She puts her hand on mine. "I've had time to think."
Tears fall, and I choke out, "About Red."
"Yes."
"What about Nikolai?"
She tilts her head, her eyes brightening, "What about him?"
"Isn't he going to talk to your dad?"
She smirks, "No. I told him not to."
I inhale sharply.
"What?" she innocently asks.
"Did you sleep with him?"
"Not yet. But he's close to caving." She wiggles her eyebrows.
A small laugh escapes me. "You sound confident."
Surety floods her. She affirms, "I am. He doesn't resist because he doesn't want me. He resists because he's loyal. Men like that crack slowly."
"And you want him anyway?"
"I want him because of it."
I shake my head. "You're relentless."
She smiles. "You love me."
"I do."
She leans forward, lowering her voice. "You know if you pursue Red, eventually this will come out and the family will know, correct?"
I swallow a lump in my throat. "Yes. But if it comes out on my terms, it'll be okay."
"You sure?"
"Yes. I'll make sure of it," I insist.
She smiles. "I thought you'd say that."
"What about you and Nikolai? If you plan on being with him forever, it'll be worse than Red and me," I point out.
"Who said anything about it being forever?"
I hold her gaze, unwilling to let it pass without explanation.
Her lips twist. "When Nikolai finally allows himself to be with me, I'm going to ruin him for all other women. I'll be his last, but he won't be mine."
"What do you mean?"
She shrugs. "Not sure I believe in forever or even one man one woman."
"I do," I firmly declare.
Her expression softens. "I know."
"Maybe you should experiment with my friend Cloud," I say before I can think about it.
She wrinkles her nose. "Not into women."
"Oh. Then what did you mean?"
She leans back in her chair, studying the ceiling for a moment like she's arranging the thoughts before handing them to me. When her eyes return to mine, they're clear, unembarrassed. She evenly explains, "I see myself with a handful of men. Different strengths. Different roles."
I stay quiet, letting her continue.
Her lips twitch. "They protect me. Not because they're told to but because they can't think about anything but me. The thought of not making me happy or indulging me drives them to the brink of wanting to kill someone."
My heart races faster. I ask, "Won't they want to kill each other?"
Amusement lights up her expression. She leans closer. "Maybe at first. But they'll worship me in their own ways, giving me their loyalty, undivided attention, and willingness to show up when I need something handled."
I hold my breath, processing what she's detailing out.
She continues, "They'll be at my beck and call, always ready to serve and satisfy me, always trying to prove they belong in my lovers' circle."
I release a heavy breath. "That sounds exhausting."
Her mouth curves. "It's efficient."
"And you think a group of men would be okay sharing you? Or don't they know about the others?" I ask.
"Oh, they know about all of them. At first, it drives them nuts, but then they realize it's what I need. So they don't learn how to cope. They learn how to lean into it. Otherwise, they wouldn't stay. And I don't trap men. I attract them."
I blurt out, "You don't want one person to build a life with you?"
"No. I want a life built around me."
I absorb her statement, turning it over slowly. "And Nikolai fits into this vision?"
Her smile turns knowing. "Perfectly."
"Because he resists?"
"Because he holds the line. Until he doesn't."
"So love isn't in the cards?" I question, unable to fathom no love. It's all I've ever wanted.
She shrugs. "Maybe. If love really exists."
"It does," I maintain.
"Mmm, I don't know. Obsession definitely exists. I often wonder if people confuse it for love."
I exhale. "You're terrifying."
She reaches over and squeezes my hand. "Only to people who think love is everything."
I meet her gaze, agreeing, "For me, it is."
She nods, sincere. "And that's why I'll always protect what you love."
"Thanks."
The room settles into quiet after that, heavy but steady, the kind that doesn't demand resolution. We're on different paths, but we both understand loyalty, protection, and obsession.
She declares, "Mikhail is wrong."
"About?"
She leans back into the sofa. "Mikhail thinks isolation fixes everything. He's wrong."
My pulse quickens.
She warns, "But you have to stay discreet until it's safe for you to go public with Dr. Mercer."
"Agree."
She reaches into her coat pocket and sets it on the cushion. "I know how you can see Red."
My breath catches. "How?"
"Promise me you'll put nothing in writing and not go out together in public. You need a controlled environment, on neutral ground with no records and no witnesses."
"For now, I agree. Mikhail said no contact, and he wasn't suggesting," I fret.
She grunts, "Mikhail sets terms for people who don't know how to bend them. I do." She beams.
My fingers curl around my wrist. I shake my head, overwhelmed. "You're dangerous."
She grins. "Only to people who underestimate me."
I lean back into my seat. Exhaustion crashes inside me now that the fight-or-flight edge has dulled. I deadpan, "So we have to disappear."
She moves closer on the sofa cushion. "You don't disappear. You adapt. You keep him safe by staying smart. You keep yourself intact by letting me help."
My voice drops. "You swear this won't come back on Red?"
Her gaze locks on mine. "I swear." She picks up her phone. "I'll message you when it's arranged."
"Thanks."
She tilts her head. "Blue, you didn't do anything wrong. Loving someone doesn't make you weak."
"Says the girl who doesn't believe in it," I remind her.
She grins. "Yeah, but you do. So for you, it exists."
My smile falls, and tears well. "I do love him, Demi."
She nods. "I know you do."
"I want to see him. Today," I add.
Confidence flares on her face. She rises. "Then let me get to work."