Chapter 6 #2
My heart bangs harder against my chest. I insist, "You don't know what you're saying right now. And I'm not going to do something that doesn't keep you safe."
She steps back then, like the words pushed her. "So that's it? You decided I'm safer without you?"
"I decided I won't throw you to the wolves."
She shakes her head. "You're doing it again. You're acting like I'm fragile."
"No. I'm acting like you matter," I assert.
Her lips shake. "You're lying to me. You just want out."
I blurt out, "No. I love you, and I will do anything to protect you."
She gasps and holds her breath.
Shit. Why did I say that?
"You finally said it," she softly declares.
My pulse thuds between my ears. I should deny it, but I can't.
The words hang between us, heavy and unmovable.
Her eyes shine brighter. "I knew you loved me."
I close my eyes, breathing through the pain I know I'm about to inflict upon both of us.
"Red—"
"There isn't an us that looks like last night. I'm sorry, Blue, but this has to end," I interject, pinning my gaze on hers.
"You love me—"
"It doesn't mean we can be together."
"It does."
"No. It doesn't. The risks are too great, and I won't take them on. And I need you to accept this," I demand.
Her mouth trembles before she clamps it shut. "So that's it? You're tossing me to the curb?"
"Please don't take it as rejection. This is just our reality," I reply, hating myself and our situation.
Tension builds.
She quietly begs, "Don't disappear on me."
The request hits harder than anger ever could. The air between us hums, tight and dangerous.
I claim, "I'm not disappearing. I'm standing where I can see what's coming."
"And leaving me here."
"I'm giving you room to choose a future for yourself."
Her laugh is brittle. "My future is with you."
"Unfortunately, it's not. There are too many obstacles."
She looks at me for a long moment, then warns, "If you push me away, don't expect me to wait for you to change your mind."
The image of her with another man pops into my mind and slices through me. Still, I respond, "I won't. And I wouldn't ask you to wait."
A wounded expression flashes over her, and it breaks my heart. She sputters, "H-how can you say that so easily?"
My throat tightens, and my stomach churns.
Don't leave any room for her to think we have a chance.
We don't.
It's for the best that we have a clean break.
"I love you, and that's why I have to end this now." My throat burns as I force the words down.
Blue's eyes lock onto mine, wide and shattered, her chest rising and falling in quick bursts. The silence stretches, thick and unforgiving, until I can't stand it anymore.
I turn away and put on my clothes. Then I go into the living room, my legs heavy, to the chair where my jacket hangs.
The leather creaks under my fingers as I snatch it up, the zipper clinking softly against my buckle.
I shrug it on, the fabric settling over my shoulders like a barrier I desperately need.
Each movement pulls me further from her, and I turn and get to the front door.
"Red," she calls out, her voice cracking on the edge of desperation.
I pause, my hand on the doorknob, but I don't turn.
"I need a final kiss. Please," she says in a desperate tone.
The plea hangs in the air, pulling at something deep inside me. My pulse hammers in my ears, and I clench my jaw, fighting the urge to walk out without looking back.
But I'm weak and can't. So I release the knob and pivot slowly, my gaze darting over her naked body and hating how she's wrapping her arms around her torso as if holding herself together.
Tears glisten on her cheeks, but her chin lifts in that defiant way that always undoes me. She takes a step forward, then another, closing the distance until she's inches away, her breath warm against my chest.
I shouldn't touch her. Every rational thought screams at me to leave, but my cock betrays me, turning so hard it hurts.
"Just one final kiss," she whispers.
My blood heats. I reach for her face, my thumbs brushing away the damp trails on her skin. She tilts her head up, lips parting, and I lean in, capturing her mouth in a kiss that's meant to be goodbye.
It's slow at first, her lips soft and trembling under mine, which only makes the problem in my pants worsen. Then she presses closer, her hands fisting in my jacket, pulling me farther into her.
The taste of her floods me, salty from tears and sweet from the remnants of last night. Heat builds fast, racing through my veins as her tongue slips against mine, demanding more.
She breaks the kiss, gasping, her eyes dark and wild. She whispers, "Dr. Mercer," the title slipping from her lips like a secret weapon.
A jolt shoots through me, straight to my core, making my erection throb.
She knows what it does to me, and I should have known she'd engage in it, crossing the forbidden edge, and shifting the power that ignites everything.
Her hands slide under my jacket, nails raking down my chest through my shirt, and she repeats it, louder this time. "Dr. Mercer, can I have another kiss?"
I groan, the sound low and guttural, as I shove her back against the wall. The impact rattles a picture frame nearby, but I don't care. My mouth devours hers again, hungry and unrelenting. My teeth nip at her lower lip until she whimpers.
She arches into me, her bare skin hot, tits hard. A whimper flies against my mouth.
I pin her wrists above her head with one hand and slide my other over the curve of her hip, dipping between her thighs.
"Take what's yours," she taunts between kisses.
"Fuck, Bluebird. You're always so goddamn wet for me," I mutter, teasing her entrance.
A shudder runs through her. In a breathy and broken voice, she moans, "Only for you, Dr. Mercer."
Another rush of adrenaline surges through me, making my head spin. I part her with two fingers, curl them just right, and she bucks against my hand, her head falling back against the wall with a thud.
I slide my knee against her thigh, parting her legs wider. Then I release her wrists to yank open my jeans, freeing myself, and she reaches down, wrapping her fingers around me, stroking firmly.
My vision blurs from the friction, and I bury my face in her neck, inhaling her scent, biting down on her shoulder to muffle my own sounds.
"Oh, Dr. Mercer," she chokes out.
I suck harder, wanting to mark her as mine once again.
"Yes," she barely gets out.
I lift her legs, and she wraps them around me. I push in deep in one swift motion. We both cry out, the sound echoing in the room.
Tingles surge down my spine. I start moving, hard and fast, the wall shaking with each thrust.
Her nails dig into my back, scraping through the fabric, and she chants my title like a mantra. "Dr. Mercer...harder... Dr. Mercer…oh God, Dr. Mercer!"
Each utterance heightens the high, a twisted thrill that makes my blood pound hotter. Sweat slicks our skin, her breasts press against my chest as I grip her thigh, lifting her higher for better leverage.
She clenches around me, tight and pulsing, drawing me deeper until the tension coils tighter. Suspense builds in every gasp and grind.
I angle my hips, hitting that spot inside her that makes her sob, and her body tremble on the edge. I rasp in her ear, my voice rough with need, "Come for me, Bluebird."
She shatters on demand, her walls contracting around me in waves, her cry muffled by my shoulder as she bites down.
The sensation pushes me over my own limits, and pleasure explodes through me with force. I spill inside her, thrusting through the aftershocks until we're both spent, panting and clinging.
Reality crashes back as our breathing slows. She's still wrapped around me, her face buried in my neck, the red, swollen mark from my mouth bright on her collarbone with what we just did.
The high quickly fades, leaving a cold clarity. Mikhail's warning echoes in my mind, his voice a shadow that promises death. If I stay, if I let this pull me back in, it'll end with me bleeding out somewhere, her family erasing me without a second thought.
I can't risk it.
So I take the coward's way out, easing out of her, setting her feet on the floor.
She looks up, eyes searching mine, but I step back, zipping up my jeans.
"Red..." she starts, reaching for me.
I shake my head, hating myself, and coldly insisting, "This changes nothing. We can't be together. I'm sorry." My voice comes out steadier than I expect, but inside, everything twists.
I grab my jacket, turn the handle, and walk outside. The morning air hits my face, sharp and unforgiving, but I keep moving, unsure where I'm going, but knowing I have to get away from her. It's the only chance we both have for survival.