Chapter 31
Felicity Woollaston feels useless. And feels vulnerable. She doesn’t like either feeling.
The gang will fly to Stockholm tomorrow, then on to Palm Springs, so perhaps they’ll need her for something or other, but, for now, Felicity is wondering what the point of working for a detective agency is when all you do is answer the phone. And when it is so easy to get caught in the crossfire.
She squeezes Tony’s hand, and he squeezes hers. He was back at work today, bandages removed, scars red raw.
And Felicity knows there are plenty of scars she can’t see. Tony was the victim of a serious assault. Sudden and unprovoked. What must that do to a man?
After the attack, Felicity is fully invested in the case at least. She had asked Steve yesterday, ‘I don’t suppose you’ve found and killed Jakob Eriksson yet?
’ and was disappointed when he said they hadn’t.
She hopes she gets to meet him face-to-face one day.
Then we’ll see whose head is bouncing off a brick wall.
Tony is not the type to talk about feelings.
Which, honestly, is sort of a relief in this day and age.
Felicity had tried the dating apps a few years ago, and men were far more comfortable talking about their feelings than they used to be.
Good for them, Felicity supposes, but sometimes it’s nice for a man to be a man.
Quiet and brooding. Felicity is quite certain that there is a crisis in modern masculinity, though she feels it’s not really up to her to solve it for them.
But this is different. She loves Tony – goodness, yes, ‘love’ feels very easy to say – and when he is ready to talk about what happened to him, Felicity will be there to listen.
She feels like perhaps tonight’s the night.
They are watching TV, a drama on ITV about a young couple who move in next door to Martin Clunes, but Tony is quieter than usual.
For example, the wife of the young couple has just got into her car, and Tony has not said, ‘Ford Puma, looks like a one point five litre.’ So something is clearly troubling him.
Felicity scooches a little closer and, without looking at him, says, ‘What’s up? ’
‘Nothing,’ Tony says.
‘You looked like you were thinking,’ she says.
‘I was,’ admits Tony.
Tony very rarely admits to thinking.
‘You want to share?’ Felicity asks.
‘You’ll think I’m silly,’ says Tony.
‘I won’t,’ says Felicity. ‘I promise. Nothing you could say would make me think that.’
Tony gives a non-committal shrug.
‘You can tell me anything,’ says Felicity. ‘I mean, wait for the adverts, but then, anything.’
Tony says nothing, but Felicity sees a battle going on behind his eyes. What demons await?
‘It’s just …’ Tony begins, then stops.
Felicity puts her head on his shoulder. On the screen Martin Clunes has opened a drawer with a gun in it.
‘I was thinking …’ starts Tony again. ‘You probably won’t be interested.’
There are groups you can go to, Felicity has googled them. Victim support. She can go with him. ‘We’ll see.’
‘It’s just,’ Tony begins again, ‘do you think if you were invisible, people could see your clothes?’
Felicity sits up a touch. ‘If you were invisible …?’
‘If people could see your clothes,’ says Tony. ‘Because if they could, then what would be the point of being invisible? People would see a coat and trousers moving around.’
‘This is what you’ve been thinking about?’
‘I don’t see how your clothes could be invisible,’ says Tony. ‘So if you wanted to use your invisibility power, then you’d have to wear no clothes?’
‘I’m not sure what …’
Tony looks away. ‘I told you you’d think it was stupid. You said you wouldn’t.’
He’s got her there. Felicity has absolutely brought this one on herself. She needs to own it. ‘I’d say you’re right, I don’t see how your clothes could be invisible.’
‘Thank you,’ says Tony.
‘Because how would that work exactly?’ says Felicity. ‘Anything touching you is invisible?’
‘This was what I was thinking,’ says Tony.
‘And that would mean that as soon as you touched a door, or picked up a pen, that would be invisible too,’ says Felicity.
‘And you’d give yourself away that way,’ says Tony.
Felicity’s eyes are drawn to the TV screen. Martin Clunes is staring at his neighbours through a pair of binoculars. It really is not looking good for those neighbours.
‘So, I was thinking,’ says Tony, ‘if that’s the case, then you’d have to be naked if you really wanted to be invisible.’
‘I suppose so,’ says Felicity. She begins to realize that one of the big advantages of being Tony Taylor is that your mind doesn’t work the same as everyone else’s.
‘But I don’t know if I’d be comfortable with that,’ says Tony. ‘Because what if it wore off?’
‘The invisibility?’ says Felicity. The key thing about being Tony is that you can suffer the sort of shock that would floor most people, and you can pack it away someplace where it does you no harm.
‘Exactly,’ says Tony. ‘You’re in the middle of a bank vault. Or you’ve got into the cinema for free.’
‘That’s how you’d use invisibility?’ Felicity asks. Perhaps it is healthier to be Tony. To not let these things trample over you.
‘I mean, you wouldn’t be able to have popcorn,’ says Tony. ‘But yeah. So you’re sitting there, the invisibility wears off and there you are. Naked. In Cineworld.’
‘How long have you been thinking about this?’ Felicity asks.
‘Just today,’ says Tony. ‘And a bit of yesterday.’
Felicity puts Tony’s head in her lap and starts stroking his hair.
She should be more like Tony. Just let things go.
Should she forget her anger at the man in the alley?
Forget thoughts of revenge on Jakob Eriksson?
Just feel lucky to be on a sofa with the man you love, worrying about invisibility and Martin Clunes.
If Tony is over it, then it is not Felicity’s place to argue.
Then she feels Tony begin to shake.
‘Tony?’
He buries his head in her lap.
‘Look at me, Tony!’
Tony shakes his head. Felicity hears him begin to sob.
‘Tony!’
Tony turns his head and opens his eyes.
‘Every time I close my eyes I see him,’ says Tony.
‘The man?’ Felicity asks.
‘The man,’ says Tony. ‘What if he comes back?’
‘He won’t come back,’ says Felicity.
‘He might,’ says Tony.
Tony is right. He might.
But, if he does, Felicity, cradling her lover’s face, his tears on her fingers, swears she will be waiting for him.
‘Don’t tell Steve I cried,’ says Tony.
‘What would he say?’ says Felicity. ‘He’d understand.’
‘I know he’d understand,’ says Tony. ‘I just don’t want him to worry.’
Felicity holds Tony and lets him weep. ‘So this is what you were thinking about? Not invisibility?’
Tony sniffs. ‘Honestly, I’ve been thinking about both. Can I ask you a question?’
‘Of course,’ says Felicity. ‘Anything.’
‘While I was crying, did I see Martin Clunes with a gun?’
‘You did,’ says Felicity.
‘What’s he up to, then?’ asks Tony. ‘Something.’
‘Yes, something,’ agrees Felicity.
Felicity strokes his hair again and decides that answering phones is no longer enough. Nobody hurts Tony Taylor and gets away with it.