Chapter 55
It is not a date. Yes, Steve is wearing a jacket he has borrowed from Tony, but it is not a date.
Sometimes a guy likes to wear a jacket. If you’d like to show Steve where in the laws of Great Britain and Northern Ireland it says that wearing a jacket is suddenly a crime, then feel free to lock him up.
‘You look very smart,’ says Georgie Glazier. ‘What’s the T-shirt?’
Now, his next choice of word is going to be very important.
Something complimentary, but not flirtatious.
Something that says he admires the way she looks, without being aroused by it.
He can’t say she looks ‘beautiful’, obviously, although she does.
She’s wearing a sort of blue top, and sort of cream trousers, and a necklace, and the blue top has some white piping on it.
Her blonde hair looks like that woman from the film Debbie once made him see.
‘Beautiful’ is out, for sure, ‘pretty’ also, that’s too sexual.
‘Handsome’ doesn’t sound right at all. ‘Lovely’?
Is that sexual? Or is it twee? ‘Wonderful’?
Come on, brain, I need you right now, she’s beginning to stare.
‘You look,’ says Steve, ‘resplendent.’
‘Goodness,’ says Georgie.
Resplendent, thinks Steve. Thanks for nothing, brain.
‘Train okay?’ he asks. Back on safe ground.
‘I refuse to talk about trains,’ says Georgie. ‘You are far more interesting than that, Steve Wheeler.’
Steve recognizes that it’s not the time or place, but the rail infrastructure in the New Forest is actually very interesting. For instance, the reason you can’t get a direct train from Portsmouth to Brockenhurst is because, if you can believe this, a nineteenth-century by-law –
‘Sir?’ says a voice.
Steve realizes that a waiter has appeared and asked him a question.
‘Still or sparkling?’
‘Umm, still, please,’ says Steve. He wanted sparkling really, but was that too racy? Did it send out the wrong signals?
‘Sparkling for me,’ says Georgie. ‘To match this gentleman’s eyes.’
Through the window of the restaurant Steve could swear he sees Rosie. He thought she’d got a dentist appointment suspiciously easily.
‘What shall we talk about, Steve?’ Georgie asks.
‘Let’s talk about murder,’ says Steve, and sees a waiter with a basket of bread overhear him and make a last-minute diversion away from their table.
‘That’s more like it,’ says Georgie. ‘That beats trains, doesn’t it?’
Again, not the time, but Steve is interested in both.
If this isn’t a date, and it isn’t, then it should be an interview.
Talking to a suspect. Now, Georgie mustn’t think it’s some sort of criminal interrogation, but, equally, she mustn’t think it’s a date.
What a tightrope. It is still entirely possible he is sitting opposite the woman who had Esteban and Korbin killed, and pinned it on Eriksson.
‘I think you recognized the name Jakob Eriksson,’ says Steve. ‘When we came to see you?’
‘First I’m resplendent, and now I’m a liar,’ says Georgie. ‘What mixed messages.’
‘Did you recognize the name?’ says Steve.
‘No,’ says Georgie.
‘Okay,’ says Steve. He knows she’s lying.
‘But I did recognize the man in the picture,’ says Georgie.
There we go. ‘You recognized the man calling himself Jakob Eriksson?’
‘They never do this on the dates on Love Island, Steve,’ says Georgie. ‘So he’s not called Jakob Eriksson?’
Steve shakes his head. ‘He’s not even Swedish.’
Georgie shrugs. ‘I mean, not all that many people are Swedish. What is he?’
‘English,’ says Steve.
‘I see,’ says Georgie. ‘And do you know his name?’
A new bread basket is finally making its way over to the table. Steve had been too nervous to eat this morning.
‘Have you heard of a man called Connor Brooks?’ Steve asks.
Georgie looks up to the left. ‘Possibly. Jog my memory.’
‘He committed suicide,’ says Steve, and sees the waiter with the bread basket swerve around them again. ‘In Málaga in 2001.’
‘So he’s not the man in the photograph?’
‘He is,’ says Steve. ‘We think Vern helped him to fake his own death.’
Steve catches the waiter’s eye now. ‘Could you just bring us some bread, whatever we’re talking about?’
‘Certainly, sir, right away,’ says the waiter. He is super-polite, but Steve notes that he does back away from him very slowly.
‘So Connor Brooks becomes Jakob Eriksson?’ says Georgie. ‘That’s the working hypothesis?’
‘It’s the confirmed hypothesis,’ says Steve. ‘You disagree?’
Georgie looks around her.
‘I can tell you anything, Steve?’
‘You can,’ Steve confirms.
‘It is Brooks,’ says Georgie. ‘I recognized him as soon as you showed me the photo. Remember him from years back, had no idea about the fake death, anything like that. He’s had some work done, but it’s him. You think Brooks is the one threatening Vern?’
‘Best guess,’ says Steve. ‘All we know for sure is that three men have been murdered in the last ten days. One shot in the head –’
‘Your bread, sir,’ says the waiter.
‘One knifed in the chest –’ says Steve.
‘There’s wholemeal,’ says the waiter. ‘There’s a sourdough.’
‘And the last one assassinated in broad daylight.’
‘And a rosemary focaccia,’ says the waiter. ‘I will bring you butter.’
‘Thank you,’ says Steve, then turns back to Georgie. ‘And I don’t want Vern to be the fourth corpse.’
‘I don’t either,’ says Georgie. ‘In case you were in any doubt.’
‘I’m always in doubt,’ says Steve. ‘That’s my job. If you had to guess what was going on here, what would that guess be?’
‘Hostile takeover,’ says Georgie. ‘Brooks is picking off his rivals one by one. And he’s leaving Vern till last?’
‘Which all makes sense,’ says Steve. ‘But what about the note? The warning?’
‘Go on,’ says Georgie. She looks genuinely interested. If this was a date, then that would be a good sign. But it is not a date, so it is moot.
‘Connor Brooks, back from the dead, is killing his rivals,’ says Steve. ‘But doesn’t kill Vern. He just warns Vern. Which makes no sense … unless –’
‘Unless the two of them are working together in some way,’ says Georgie. ‘Vern writes the note himself, to make it look as if he and Brooks are enemies?’
‘Whereas if they really were enemies,’ says Steve, ‘then Vern’s brains would be spattered over his bathroom wall.’
The waiter puts the butter on the table. ‘We salt it in-house, sir. Enjoy.’
Steve nods his thanks.
‘So they’re not enemies,’ says Georgie. ‘They’re in this together?’
‘But if they’re not enemies,’ says Steve, ‘then why hire We Solve Murders? And why kill Esteban in the first place?’
Georgie tries some bread. ‘This rosemary focaccia is terrific.’
‘I can see a route through everything except the first murder,’ says Steve. ‘Why kill Esteban? And why leave a note in his pocket? It doesn’t make any sense to me.’
‘Well, that I genuinely don’t know,’ says Georgie.
There’s something unusual about her phrasing there. As if there were other things Georgie genuinely does know. Meg Ryan! That’s the name of the actress in the film. Her name is an anagram of ‘Germany’. Steve remembers that coming in handy at the quiz once.
‘We should order,’ says Georgie. ‘Then we can really get on with our date.’
‘It’s not …’ says Steve. ‘Not … really … a date.’
Georgie leans across the table and whispers in his ear.
‘Oh, it’s a date.’
Steve’s phone rings, and he glances down. Amy.
‘I should …’ he says. ‘I’m sorry, I should get this.’
‘Of course,’ says Georgie.
‘And, listen,’ says Steve, ‘I’m going to talk as if I’ve just been to the dentist.’
Georgie shrugs this off as if it’s the most natural thing in the world.
‘A-a-m-my,’ says Steve, thickly.
‘They’ve found a body at the castle,’ says Amy. ‘Hitman, I think. Young guy. It’s a mess. Brains everywhere. Get over here.’
Steve looks at Georgie. ‘I’m so sorry to do this to you. But they’ve just found a body.’
Georgie looks panicked. ‘Not Vern?’
‘Not Vern,’ says Steve, putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder. ‘Some kid with his head blown off.’
‘And if I could just take you through our specials today,’ says the waiter.