Chapter 71
Rosie is lying on a huge bed, surrounded by flowers and stuffed toys. On one side of the bed are an interviewer and film crew. On the other side of the bed are Steve and Amy.
‘Well, it’s a dangerous business,’ says Rosie. ‘But that’s why I do what I do. That’s why I chase bad guys.’
The interviewer nods. Rosie turns to Steve.
‘Steve, be an absolute dear and plump up my pillows, I’m sliding down, and I don’t want to look chinny on camera.’
Steve reaches behind Rosie and plumps her pillows. ‘M’lady.’
‘They say you lost nearly six pints of blood?’ says the interviewer.
‘I know,’ says Rosie. ‘I’m furious about it. It’s taken me years to get to the stage where my blood was ninety per cent brandy, and now I have to start all over again.’
‘Although you are very grateful to the blood donors,’ says Amy without looking up. She’s endured four days of these interviews now. News crews from all over the world. The famous novelist gunned down in her pursuit of a murderer. It’s irresistible. The current interviewer is Estonian.
‘Although I am so grateful to the blood donors who saved my life,’ says Rosie. ‘I promise I will take care of your blood. In fact, I intend to show it a good time.’
‘You write about murder, of course …’
‘I do,’ says Rosie. ‘My new novel And the Devil Blinked First is a very good example of that.’
‘But to have come this close to being murdered,’ continues the interviewer. ‘It must bring you new perspective?’
Rosie had very nearly died, even Amy has to admit that.
She doesn’t want to believe it, but she saw Rosie at her very worst. Days later, they can now joke about it.
Rosie had been sedated, and the joke was that her many visitors had stayed by her bedside for hours because they could finally get a word in.
But they weren’t joking at the time. Watching Rosie disappear in front of their eyes.
After she had regained consciousness, the first consultant had said to Rosie, ‘To suffer this amount of trauma and blood loss should really have been fatal at your age.’
That was the last time Amy had seen that particular consultant, and the next consultant, while being very professional, had never mentioned Rosie’s age.
At one point, while Rosie was still out of it, Amy had sneaked a peek at her medical records, only to find that under ‘Date of Birth’ it read ‘To Be Confirmed’.
You shouldn’t really take advantage of your friends when they are unconscious, but Amy hadn’t wanted to waste a golden opportunity. Rosie keeps her passport, for example, under lock and key.
‘I stared down the barrel of that gun,’ says Rosie, ‘and I said, “If the 1970s didn’t kill me, nothing will.’”
This story has become embellished over the last few days.
The truth of the thing, the struggle with Felicity, the accidental gunshot, the unmasking of Ernesto, and the strange case of Jakob Eriksson, formerly Eric Jacobs of EJ Gardening Services (Haywards Heath) Ltd, is being kept between them for now.
As far as official sources went, a man was in custody for the murders of Vern Blackwood and Mark Drury, and three further murders remained under investigation.
Vern’s older crimes will surely rise to the surface at some point too.
Interpol had no real stomach for announcing that the arrest was one of their own officers, and that suited Rosie just fine.
By the time the real story was made public, her version of the story – gunned down in cold blood by a ruthless murder suspect – will have made itself the truth.
‘Were you frightened?’ asks the interviewer. ‘Did you see Death?’
‘Oh yes,’ says Rosie. ‘I saw Death.’
‘Was he a figure as if from folklore?’ asks the interviewer. ‘A simulacrum of man’s fear, if you will. Or was he all too human? Or a little of each?’
Amy has noticed that European journalists are a great deal more comfortable with deep questions than their British counterparts. For example, BBC Breakfast had interviewed Rosie live from the hospital room this morning and had not mentioned folkloric representations of death once.
‘I’m sure I’ll write about that in my next book,’ says Rosie. ‘But, yes, I saw him. And, more importantly, he saw me. And guess who blinked first?’
That’s a new line. Always selling. You had to sit back and admire it.
The book has rocketed up to number one on the back of the news.
Rosie on the front cover of every newspaper on the planet.
Almost single-handedly reminding people that the front pages of newspapers still exist. She’s number one in the UK, she’s number one in America, she’s number one, as Rosie has just discovered on a call with her manager, ‘in forty-seven territories’.
Netflix have bought the rights to the book and are negotiating the rights to the real-life documentary that one enterprising production company has titled Murder She Wrote – When Murder Writes Back.
Amy suspects the real-life documentary may never see the light of day. Too many things they can’t speak about. Ernesto, Lee, Georgie Glazier.
‘Finally,’ says the interviewer, ‘can you think of any Estonian angle this story might have?’
Without missing a beat, Rosie picks up a small bunch of flowers.
‘These flowers were from a young Estonian girl. Isn’t that adorable?
She’s only twelve years old, but she read And the Devil Blinked First, which is available in hardback and trade paperback in Estonia, and she wishes me good health and a speedy recovery. ’
‘Does she write that in English or Estonian?’ asks the interviewer.
‘In English,’ says Rosie. ‘Which is a testament to the Estonian education system, and to the little girl herself.’
‘And her name?’ the interviewer asks.
‘Maria,’ says Rosie.
The little girl ‘Maria’ has been, variously over the last few days, Estonian, Lithuanian, Brazilian, Egyptian, Spanish, German and Chinese. Everything but Italian.
‘And the question everyone wants to know,’ says the interviewer. ‘Even after all of this, will the three of you keep solving murders?’
Rosie looks at Amy and Steve, then back at the interviewer.
‘It’s what we do,’ says Rosie. ‘We solve murders.’
Amy squeezes her friend’s hand, and the crew begins to pack up.
‘Congratulations on the number one,’ says Steve. ‘Never in doubt, eh?’
‘Number one with a bullet,’ says Rosie. ‘I knew something would come along. Something always does. I hear Adam is in town?’
‘He is,’ says Amy. ‘He’s taking me to Lanzarote.’
‘Lanzarote?’ says Rosie. ‘Why Lanzarote?’
‘No reason,’ says Amy, tracing that little blue flower again in her mind. ‘Just always wanted to go.’
The Estonian crew bid their farewells.
‘Your manager must be very happy,’ says Amy. ‘Elspeth?’
‘Oh, I’ve fired her,’ says Rosie. ‘I’ve got a new manager.’
‘That was quick work,’ says Amy. ‘Who’s your new manager?’
‘Felicity,’ says Rosie.
‘Felicity’s your new manager?’ says Steve.
‘I’ve had to up her pay a bit,’ says Rosie. ‘But yes.’
‘Do you remember …’ says Amy, then pauses. ‘Do you remember that time Felicity shot you?’
‘Oh, she didn’t mean it,’ says Rosie.
‘She bought a gun,’ says Steve.
‘You know, I’d forgotten the first rule of showbusiness,’ says Rosie. ‘Always make sure your manager has a gun. She’s already got me a new three-book deal.’
A nurse pokes her head around the door. ‘Your four o’clock is here.’
Rosie thanks her, then nods at Amy’s notebook. ‘So how many murders did we solve? I’ve lost count.’
Amy opens the book. ‘Esteban, killed by a young Italian woman. The police in Lucca were very grateful for the tip. Raided the house and arrested her brother too.’
‘A spurned lover,’ says Rosie. ‘What a way to start. And that was terrific work from you, Amy. You’re quite a protégée.’
‘I’m not your protégée,’ says Amy.
‘Korbin killed by Mark Drury,’ says Steve. ‘That was Vern’s idea of a little trial run. Getting rid of someone who knew the truth and testing out his replacement.’
‘Killing your predecessor is a hell of a job interview,’ says Rosie.
‘Drury then kills Tommy Griffin in Palm Springs,’ says Amy. ‘Because Tommy had been encroaching on Vern’s territory.’
‘Also in case Tommy had been behind the note,’ says Steve. ‘Rather than poor old Lee.’
‘That’s three,’ says Rosie.
‘Then Ernesto comes on the scene,’ says Steve. ‘Aims to take over the whole racket, so kills Vern and Mark Drury.’
‘Five murders solved,’ says Rosie. ‘Imagine how much we could invoice Vern for if he was still alive.’
‘And we solved the murder of Connor Brooks too,’ says Amy. ‘From way back in 2001, when I was seven years old and, Rosie, you were …?’
Rosie dismisses her. ‘Stevie, how was your lunch with his delightful ex-wife, Georgie? I didn’t get the chance to ask you before my manager shot me.’
‘It was nice,’ says Steve. ‘I was surprised.’
‘Will you see her again?’ Rosie asks.
‘No,’ says Steve. ‘Not Georgie. But … you know.’
Rosie reaches out her hand and puts it on his. No smart remarks, no innuendo. It seems she does know.
The door opens again and Felicity Woollaston comes in.
‘Don’t shoot,’ says Rosie, throwing her arms in front of her face.
‘At some point we’ll have to stop doing that joke,’ says Felicity.
‘It might take a little while,’ says Amy.
‘The chicken wings people are here, Rosie,’ says Felicity. ‘They’re very excited to meet you. They say they’ve never filmed an episode in a hospital room before.’