18. Fuck Sweet
Chapter 18
Fuck Sweet
Ash
H oly hell, what a morning—and it’s barely nine o’clock.
Doesn’t help that my head’s pounding or that I’m running on about fifteen minutes of sleep. Top it off with a thirty-minute car ride with a woman I want nothing to do with, and you’ve got a banner start to the day.
“Do you need me to stop for coffee?” Lucille asks, concern lacing her voice.
I glance at her briefly, biting back my irritation. Look, I’m not mad at her for yesterday—not exactly—though she ruined what could’ve been a perfect reunion between Ori and me.
She feels terrible. Or so she claims. A part of me wonders if she got some twisted satisfaction from barging in and breaking up my private moment with Ori.
But my anger isn’t directed at her. I’m mad at the mess I’m in—how I’ve landed the starring role in what can only be described as a drug-fueled melodrama featuring my cheating ex, her jilted husband, and a psycho ex-boyfriend who’s now gunning for Ori and me.
Universe, if there are karma points, I’d better be racking up some serious ones for this.
“Have you spoken to Trace?” I ask, leaning my head against my hand to avoid the sun’s glare off the snow.
“I did. He said things are moving along, and Kevin wants him to drop by the club this evening.”
“So, it’s happening tonight?”
Lucille shrugs. “Honestly, I’m not sure how it works. Kevin used to have a monthly ‘hiring’ the third week of the month. Now I realize what he really meant by that term. If that schedule hasn’t changed, it won’t be for another couple of weeks.”
I groan and punch the visor. “Fuck. It’s never-ending.”
Lucille leans over, placing a hand on my arm. “I know it feels that way?—”
“Trust me, Lucille, you don’t know how I feel.”
She parks the truck in the lot but leaves the engine idling. “No, but I know what it feels like to be carrying the baby of a man who treated me like garbage. Who punched me for fun and got away with it because he’s rich and powerful. So, no, I don’t know your feelings, but I know hopelessness.”
Damn.
I glance at her, and for the first time in a long while, I feel something new for Lucille—sympathy. I’ve been so twisted up in my nightmare that I never considered hers.
Still wish I were a million miles away from all this bullshit, though.
Leaning over, I wrap an arm around her shoulders and press a quick kiss to the top of her head. “We’ll be okay. Somehow.”
When I climb out of the truck, the arctic chill bites my face, and the crunch of frozen snow echoes underfoot. Feels mighty nice, if we’re being honest.
At the far end of the parking lot, a floral delivery truck pulls onto Main Street, and I smile, knowing Ori’s daily flower delivery has arrived.
Hey, I paid top dollar to make sure it reaches her first thing in the morning. Anything to make her smile, even though she hasn’t said a word about the other dozen I’ve sent.
Won’t stop me from trying. It’s not going to fix things, but it’s a start. Let the world know she’s loved.
Getting Ori to acknowledge it will be far more difficult.
Especially after last night.
“Whoa,” Lucille gasps, grabbing the hood of the truck as her feet threaten to slide out from under her.
“Hey, hang on.” I walk around the truck and grab her arm, steadying her as she catches her breath. “Are you okay?”
“I’m glad you were here.”
Lucille grips my arm tightly as we traverse the icy path.
It’s then I see Ori. She’s spreading deicer on her front stoop, her breath visible in the frigid air. Her movements are sharp and deliberate, her gaze cutting through me like the winter wind.
The worst part? I know how it looks to her. Lucille clinging to me, her protruding belly on full display as we walk together into Black Lotus after a ride in from our shared home.
Trust me, I know how crappy it looks. And how shitty it’s making Ori feel.
But if we can just get through another couple of weeks, I’ll give her everything she’s ever wanted.
I raise a hand in a feeble wave, but Ori turns on her heel and stalks inside without a word.
The sharp slam of her door echoes through the cold morning air.
So much for a good morning.
“I can talk to her,” Lucille offers, her pace cautious as she navigates the walkway.
“Somehow, I don’t think that’s going to help.”
And I know I’m right.
Ori’s face burns in my mind—the way her eyes flicked to Lucille’s belly, the way she bolted from me last night like I was poison.
I know, in the long run, I’m doing the stand-up thing. But I’m not sure my heart—or my brain—can take much more.
Another two weeks feels like an eternity without the woman I love.
The word flashes in my mind, as it always does when I think of Ori. A word I swore I’d never use again for an emotion I didn’t dare feel.
But love doesn’t seem like a strong enough word for Oriana Thorne. She’s my entire universe.
And though she’s angry and hurt—rightfully so—she kissed me back last night.
There’s still hope. And that’s all I’m clinging to.
I shuffle into Black Lotus , muttering a grunted greeting at Zane and Braden.
Hey, it’s the best I can manage right now—not that Braden has been overly talkative since my ex took up residence at the farm.
I get it. He hates Lucille for what she did to me, and just like Ori, he’s in the damn dark about why this woman is suddenly back in my life.
I wouldn’t speak to me, either.
Unlocking my office, I step inside, barely making it to my desk before the door flies open, slamming against the wall with a thud.
I tear my gaze upward, startled to see Ori standing there, a bouquet clenched in her hands and fire in her eyes.
Not quite the reaction I hoped for.
“Hey, beautiful. You got the flowers.”
Nothing like stating the obvious, Ash.
Her glare could level a building as she stomps forward, slamming the vase onto my desk so hard that water sloshes over the rim.
“Cease and desist,” she hisses.
“I was just about to head over there and grab a coffee?—”
“Find somewhere else to buy your brew because I can’t handle it anymore. I can’t do this insanity.”
“Hang on. Please.” I step forward and close the office door, motioning toward the chair. “Come on, sit down. Let’s talk.”
But Ori has no intention of following orders. She plants her hands on her hips, her foot tapping an angry rhythm against the floor. “I don’t want to talk. What is there to talk about?”
“Last night, for starters.”
Ori rolls her eyes, a mirthless laugh escaping her lips. “I already know. You were drunk. You said a bunch of things you didn’t mean. Yada yada.”
Wait, what?
“That isn’t?—”
Her body trembles, every inch of her vibrating with restrained rage. “I can’t do this anymore. Can’t you see that? Can’t you see what your situation is doing to me? If you care about me at all, please leave me alone.”
“I get it, but I promise there’s nothing between Lucille and me.”
“That’s not what the entire town of Sparkwood thinks.”
“Who the fuck cares what they think?”
Ori points to herself, tears streaming down her cheeks. “I do! Imagine how I feel in this scenario—this reality television, fucked-up, beyond-all-recognition scenario. I thought dating you would be exciting, but it’s literally hazardous to my health.”
“Will you please sit down for a few minutes?” I fumble through my desk drawer, desperate to find an aspirin. “And can we take the volume down a notch? My head is blasting.”
“That’s what happens when you down a bottle of whiskey and spout a bunch of lies and half-truths. Life catches up with you, Ash. Eventually, everyone has to pay the piper.”
My hand finally closes around the aspirin bottle, but my nerves are so shot I can’t get the damn top off. Next up? A hammer to smash the thing open.
Ori grabs the bottle and pops it open with ease, dumping two pills onto the desk.
I can’t help it. That slight gesture, even at the height of her anger, makes me smile.
Unfortunately, smiling is the wrong move.
“I’m glad you find this amusing.”
“I don’t, but I appreciate that even though you think I’m a total asshole, you still give me the aspirin. You’re sweet, Ori.”
“Fuck sweet, Ash. I’m tired of this … whatever this is. I’m tired of people whispering when they pass me, knowing full well what they’re saying. Do you know I overheard the florist discussing us last night? She felt sorry for me, clinging to hope while you string me along. And this morning, I had to smile at her and pretend it didn’t gut me.”
“I’ll call the florist.”
“Are you going to yell at everyone in town? Because everyone is talking. This is the biggest damn story around for this stinking storybook village.”
“Ori—”
“I’m not done.” She tears the card from the flowers and throws it onto the desk. “What the hell does that mean?”
I pick up the card, running my finger over the words. “Exactly what it says. I meant every word. Everything I told you last night—I meant it.”
I hope my admission will soften her, but no dice. If anything, it fuels her fury.
“You meant every word? Which part? The part where you aren’t capable of loving? Or the part where I shouldn’t get my hopes up? Which one did you mean?”
I open my mouth to respond, but she throws up a hand, silencing me. She isn’t finished—not by a long shot.
“I really believed I could change your mind. That loving you enough would make you realize what we had. Turns out, there’s a fool born every minute.” She shakes her head, her voice cracking as fresh tears spring to her eyes. “I was right there the whole time, and you didn’t believe in it. Didn’t play that way. Then you knock up your ex-girlfriend, and suddenly you’re all about giving me what I want. What you don’t want is to lose.”
That’s it. I close the distance between us, sliding my hands along her jaw and forcing her to meet my gaze.
“You’re right. I don’t want to lose you, little one. Do you know why? Because you made me believe in love again. You did. I didn’t want to, but I didn’t stand a chance. I want to give you everything you want—a family, a home. Whatever it is, it’s yours.”
Her voice breaks as she pulls away. “What is it you think I want? A sympathy fuck and a pity baby?”
“That’s not what it would be?—”
“Well, that’s how it would feel. And that’s what everyone would think.” She swipes at her tears. “What does it matter anyway, Ash? You don’t believe in love, marriage, or any of those stupid novelties, do you? Funny thing is, you made me stop believing in them, too.”
“Ori, there’s nothing funny about that.”
She stares at the floor, her voice trembling. “I know.”
A soft knock sounds at the door, and Lucille pokes her head in. “Hi, sorry to disturb?—”
Seems Ori has had enough of us both. She whirls around, her voice rising in a strangled cry. “You’re not sorry. Not one bit. You’re loving every second of this, aren’t you? Well, guess what, Lucille? You win. I’m done.”
Her words slice through me, leaving nothing but a hollow ache in their wake. I can’t move. I can’t breathe.
Ori’s given up. On me. On us. And that terrifies me more than any of Kevin’s threats or Lucille’s secrets ever could.
“Ori, don’t do this. Please.”
Am I begging? Damn right. I’ve seen Ori’s temper before, but never like this. Never at a point where I couldn’t talk her down.
She throws her hands up, her gaze bouncing between Lucille and me. “Looking at you two, I get it. You’re a perfect fit. I was the one who didn’t make sense. I see that now.”
I slump into my chair as my world shatters around me. “You’re different. I always said that.”
She pauses, a bitter smile tugging at her lips. “You break hearts every day, Ash. What’s one more?”
Her words hang in the air like a final nail in my coffin as she storms out of the office.
This time, I know she won’t come back.
I open my mouth, but the words choke me. She can’t hear them, anyway.
I’ve broken hearts, yeah. But yours? Yours is the only one that would break me.
“Ash, I’m so sorry,” Lucille whispers, her hand gripping the doorknob as she closes the door. “Let me go talk to her.”
“Just stop,” I groan, my head thumping like a goddamn marching band.
“What can I do?”
I lift my head and scoff. Is she serious? “You’ve done enough.” I jab a finger toward the door. “Ori loved me. I didn’t deserve that love. I didn’t deserve her . And thanks to you, she’s gone. I hope you’re happy—you’ve cost me more than I can even fathom.”
Lucille’s lower lip quivers, but I’m done playing nice. Twice, this woman has stomped on my dreams. The first time, it was just my heart that broke, but this time, she destroyed Ori too—and I won’t abide anyone hurting my woman.
I can’t blame Ori for walking away. This situation is beyond fucked, and if the roles were reversed, I’d be insane with jealousy. Hell, I’ve damn near punched Eddie out just for standing closer to Ori than I deem acceptable.
It’s the strangest thing—I was never a jealous guy. How could I be? I had fun with the women I hung out with, and most of them were having fun with other guys, too.
It made sense because I always swore I’d never settle down.
Now, those words taste like acid.
“I really messed things up, didn’t I?” Lucille asks, her gaze drifting to some far-off point. “Seems that’s what I’m best at—screwing shit up. But I’ll fix this. I promise.”
“How? The woman I love hates me. Wants nothing to do with me. I told her I’d give her everything—marriage, babies, the whole damn fairytale. She doesn’t want it. She doesn’t want me anymore, and I can’t fucking blame her.”
I pitch my water bottle across the room, the cap flying off as water sprays everywhere.
“Answer me this,” I snarl, my temper barely leashed. “Do you love destroying things? Because you are a goddamn train wreck, Lucille. Have you ever loved anyone, or was it all just a game to you?”
“You love to hit people when they’re down, don’t you?” Lucille whimpers, her body trembling.
“This isn’t some long-lost reunion. You dragged me into your mess, and now my entire world is upside down. Forgive me if I’m not rolling out the red carpet for you.”
“I know.”
Her blasé response snaps something inside me. “That’s all you have to say? I know I fucked up your life, but here’s my half-assed apology? You have got to be kidding me.”
“I didn’t mean to mess up your life.”
I laugh bitterly. “Sure you didn’t. But I’m the asshole for agreeing to help you. I should’ve left you to your own devices. No doubt you could have handled Kevin Duncan just fine.”
“Yeah,” she spits out, her voice cracking. “Those bruises proved how well I handled Kevin Duncan. You think I’m enjoying this? My life has been uprooted too. But Trace thought this was the only way out, and I trust him.”
I cut her off, my chest heaving. “Enough. I don’t care to hear any more of your sob story. The woman I love walked away this morning. I’ve lost her, Lucille. And you helped make that happen.”
Her hand trembles as it drifts to her belly. “Everyone, you and Trace included, thinks I’m a horrible person. A screw-up. And I’ve earned that title. I don’t deny it. But this little life …” She rubs her stomach gently, her voice breaking. “He doesn’t know that. He only knows that I love him. And I just want a chance to show the world I’m more than the home wrecker people see. I can be a good mom, Ash. But not if I’m running for my life.”
I’ve never seen Lucille this raw. She hides her emotions behind a tough-as-nails exterior, never willing to admit when she’s scared. What she doesn’t realize is that vulnerability makes her human.
“You don’t owe me anything, Asher Hammond,” she continues, running a hand through her hair. “You have every right to call Trace and tell him it’s done. Kick me out of the farmhouse. I deserve it. But I think I finally realize how fucking scared I am. How goddamn alone.”
Part of me wants to keep raging at her, to let her feel every ounce of anger I’ve been bottling up for a decade. But you don’t kick someone when they’re down. At least, I don’t.
Doesn’t mean I forgive her for what she’s done. Not even close.
Scrubbing my hands over my face, I let out a noisy sigh. “I might live to regret saying this, but you’re not alone.”
Lucille’s features crumple as fresh tears spill down her cheeks. “Yes, I am.”
I could feed her a few lines about hope and friendship, but the truth is, she’s right. She is alone. Without Trace and me, she’d be pushing up daisies.
This stress isn’t healthy for her or the baby. It’s hell on all of us.
Lucille wipes her eyes and straightens, her shoulders squaring like she’s readying for battle. “I’m going to fix this, Ash. I don’t know how yet, but I’ll figure it out. Let me help you win Ori back. She’s a good woman, and I’d like to have her on my side.”
She leaves my office on that note, but her words linger in the air, pressing down on me.
Lucille’s wrong about Ori. She’s not just a good woman. She’s the greatest woman I’ve ever known.
The worst part? Ori was all in from the moment we met—100% present, no hesitation. If she was ever afraid of love, she sure as hell never showed it.
Until now.
After Lucille leaves, I slam back another bottle of water and rest my head on the desk, willing the pain away.
Although nothing in the world will make the ache in my heart stop.
Not that I’m giving up on Ori—not by a long shot.
As soon as this god-awful situation is wrapped up and that piece of shit Kevin Duncan is behind bars, I’m going to pursue Ori until I wear her down and she says yes—to all of it.
I just have to survive until then.
My office door opens, and I grumble, “What now?”
“He’s here.”
Lucille doesn’t have to elaborate—I know who he is.
I tug a hand through my hair and push to my feet, gesturing toward the chair. “Sit down. Drink some water.”
“What are you going to do?”
“Did he see you?”
Lucille nods, tears slipping down her cheeks. “What if he hurts me again?”
“Not fucking happening. Not on my watch.” I glance toward the front of Black Lotus and sigh. “Close this door and call Trace. Let him know—if he doesn’t already.”
“Be careful. He’s dangerous, Ash.”
“So am I, Lucille.”
I pass by Braden’s office and lean in. “Do me a favor?”
“What?” Braden asks, not bothering to look up from his computer.
“Take care of Lucille for a minute. She’s really upset.”
Braden tosses his pencil down, glaring at me. “Seriously? Now I’m on ex-babysitting duty? Isn’t that your job?”
I smack the office wall, my patience fraying fast. “Just do it, man. Stop giving me grief.”
Braden crosses his arms, his jaw tight. “You know what? Keep screwing up your life, Ash. Just don’t expect everyone else to clean up the mess.”
Normally, I’d get into it with Braden, but not today.
Today, I have a meet-and-greet with my new nemesis.
And his name is Kevin Duncan.
Kevin stands in the reception area, his high-dollar suit clashing with the bright, offbeat designs of Black Lotus.
His cold gray eyes sweep the shop, pausing on a sketch of an intricate floral tattoo, before locking on me. A smirk tugs at his lips as he extends a gloved hand. “We haven’t been formally introduced.”
I straighten to my full height, letting him feel every inch of the fifty pounds of muscle I have over him. “I know who you are, and you know who I am. That’s good enough.”
“Is that how you greet all your clients?”
“You’re not a fucking client. What do you want?”
Kevin removes his gloves with deliberate precision, snapping them against the counter like a challenge. “Consider this a business call.”
“I don’t have any business with you.”
“But your lady friend does. Ms. Thorne—such an intriguing woman. Stunningly beautiful.”
“Stay away from her.”
Kevin’s smirk widens as he leans against the counter, his tone dripping with mockery. “Aren’t you a little busy dealing with my leftovers?”
My fists clench at my sides, my pulse hammering in my ears. “Don’t make me drag you outside and wipe the parking lot with your ass.”
His laugh is sharp, calculated, and meant to get under my skin. Trust me, it’s working, too.
“Ah, there it is—that temper. I do enjoy poking it.” He pauses, running a finger along the edge of the counter. “My representative at McGwyer Holdings mentioned your connection to the Dean Estate. Funny thing, though—your name doesn’t appear on the deed.”
My stomach twists, but I force my expression to remain impassive. So this is who’s been after Ori’s property all along. Kevin Duncan.
“What do you want with Ori?”
“To get to know her better, of course. I hope she liked the flowers I sent.”
I lean in, my face close to his, letting him smell every ounce of the fury roiling in my core. "She would never have anything to do with a lech like you. She’s out of your league."
"Or so you hope. One can never be too sure who a woman might seek out for comfort." His smirk deepens as his voice drops into a conspiratorial tone. "She’s heading to the city later this week, isn’t she?"
My chest tightens. What the hell? How does he know Ori’s plans when I don’t?
“How do you know that?”
Kevin leans in, his voice smug. “I know everything, Mr. Hammond. And I know far more about Oriana Thorne than you realize. I even dropped off tickets to the symphony for her this morning. She’s a lover of the arts, isn’t she? Perhaps I can persuade her to love other things as well.”
It takes every ounce of restraint I have not to grab him by the throat and end this right here, right now.
“Time to go,” Braden’s voice cuts in, sharp and unwavering. He steps to my side, his usual irritation replaced by something more sinister. He might not know the details, but he’s my brother, and he reads the situation—and me—well enough to understand this guy is trouble.
Moments later, Zane flanks my other side. Together, we form a solid wall of six-foot men with no patience for smug assholes like Kevin Duncan.
Kevin’s smirk falters for a second, but he recovers quickly. “Have a pleasant afternoon, gentlemen.” His tone drips with false politeness as he slips his gloves back on.
He pauses at the door, glancing over his shoulder. “Oh, and Mr. Hammond? Good luck keeping up with her.”
I don’t move until the door closes behind him, my fists trembling at my sides. He’s not just a threat—he’s a predator, and now I know for certain that Ori is in his crosshairs.
Braden crosses his arms, his brow furrowed. “Who the hell was that?”
“No one you need to worry about.” My voice is tight, clipped, but inside, my thoughts are racing. Ori doesn’t know how dangerous this guy is, but she will.
And if Kevin thinks he’s going to get anywhere near her, he’s dead wrong.
I watch Kevin back his car out of the lot and rush over to One More Page. Mina glances up from behind the counter, her expression wary, no doubt wondering if a Second World War is about to break out between Ori and me.
“Hi, Ash.”
I smack the counter, anxiety coursing through me as I spot the bouquet of red roses. Seems the bastard wasn’t lying about sending them to Ori, and I swallow the urge to sweep them onto the floor in a million pieces. "Did Kevin Duncan leave something here?"
Maybe it’s the wild look in my eyes, but Mina doesn’t press me for information. Instead, she reaches into a drawer and pulls out an envelope. “He brought Ori tickets for the symphony—really great seats, too.”
“Give them to me, and don’t mention it to Ori.”
Mina’s eyes narrow at my demand. “No way. Ori could use a pick-me-up right now.”
I really don’t want to dive over the counter to wrest them from Mina’s hands, but I’m not above it. Not at this point.
“Mina, I’m not asking. Give me the damn things.” My voice raises, drawing the attention of a few customers.
Wonderful. If I don’t rein in my temper, the cops will probably show up, and that’s the last thing I need.
I jerk a hand through my hair, trying to figure out a way to let Mina in on the situation without telling her the entire story.
Turns out I don’t have to.
“You don’t like Kevin Duncan, do you?” she asks, her voice low, as if she’s unsure who might be listening.
Dragging a hand across my face, I shake my head. “I hate him. He’s not a good man, and his intentions with Ori aren’t honorable.”
Mina arches an eyebrow. “Is this one of those have-your-cake-and-eat-it-too situations? You want both Lucille and Ori?”
“Not even close.” I grasp Mina’s hand, my eyes searching hers and imploring her to understand. “I know you love your friend and want to protect her. So do I—more than anything in the world. Please help me do that.”
Mina stares at the tickets, her teeth worrying her lower lip. Finally, she slides them across the counter. “I won’t tell her about the tickets, but don’t make me regret this.”
I race into the parking lot of The Camelot Inn , my tires screeching against the pavement, drawing a few curious looks from the resident derelicts.
Trust me, you do not want to mess with me right now.
Jumping out of my truck, I storm toward room #7, which is quickly becoming my least favorite number. I bang on the door, barging inside the moment Trace cracks it open.
“When the fuck are you taking him down?” I demand, pacing the floor in angry, unrelenting strides.
Trace raises his hands, signaling me to cool it. Fat chance. “You want a drink?”
I stop pacing long enough to glare at him. “No. I want my life back. Did you know that son of a bitch stopped by Black Lotus today? He knows all about Ori—the house she’s restoring, her love of the symphony. Hell, he knows she’s going to the city next week. I didn’t even know that!”
Trace pulls a flask from his jacket pocket and holds it out to me. I snatch it and take a swig, but the whiskey burn only fuels the fire raging inside me.
“I told you Kevin would make your life hell.”
“This isn’t about my life. He’s following Ori.”
“He’s letting you think he is. Trust me, Ash, my guys have been tailing Ori, and Kevin hasn’t been near either of her homes. He’s just trying to get under your skin.”
“Well, fuck, it’s working.”
“You’re right. It is.” Trace perches on the edge of the bed, rubbing his grizzled jaw. “Your little rendezvous with Lucille has thrown chaos into Kevin’s perfectly coiffed world. He’s so focused on pissing you off that he’s not paying attention to me or my guy in the club. This is a good thing.”
“Forgive me if I don’t see it that way.” I sink into a chair, pressing my head into my hands. “How much longer?”
“A couple of weeks. I know it’s hard, but trust me, this is going exactly how I hoped it would. Just keep doing what you’re doing.”
“Losing my mind?”
Trace chuckles. “That’s women for you. I’ve got a guy looking out for your girl, okay?”
I shake my head and push myself upright. “Not good enough. I need to ensure Ori is safe. It’s my job.”
“Lucille told me Ori wants nothing to do with you. What are you going to do—camp outside her apartment?”
Talk about a lightbulb moment.
Lucille is safe at the farm. Braden might hate her, but he’d never let anything happen to her. Plus, there’s always at least one HSI agent watching her at all times—even if I’ve yet to figure out who they are.
She’s covered.
And that leaves me free to take care of the woman I love.
Trace smirks, catching the shift in my expression. “You are going to camp outside Ori’s place, aren’t you?”
I take another swig from the flask before handing it back. “Damn straight.”