12. Miles
MILES
I ’m already awake when Jenna inches her ass closer to my morning wood.
At the risk of seeming like a perv, I pretend to sleep, so I can enjoy the feeling of Jenna pressing up against me for a few minutes.
Her body is warm against mine, and she smells like coconut shampoo and clean laundry.
Her hair tickles my face, but I don’t dare move.
My heart is pounding in my chest. I shift forward, and Jenna lets out the faintest sigh.
She wants this . It would be so easy for me to let my fingers graze over her stomach or down her thigh—to turn this from an accidental cuddle to something with purpose.
The alarm bells ringing in my head keep me from doing that though.
The safest option is pretending to sleep.
Then I don’t have to apologize for the very obvious situation poking her either.
The minutes slip by too quickly before Jenna peeks back at me, gently lifting my arm off her waist and tiptoeing out of the room.
I wait until I hear the soft click of the bathroom door before I drag myself out of bed.
I adjust myself, careful not to remind Jenna that my dick woke her up, then throw on some deodorant and a clean T-shirt.
I run my fingers through my hair and pad into the kitchen to start the coffee.
I’m sipping a hot mug of coffee and looking out the sliding glass door when Jenna finally appears at my side. “Good morning.” She smiles at me.
“That it is,” I reply, smiling back.
We hold each other’s gaze for a moment before I clear my throat. “There’s coffee in the pot.” I cock my head toward the kitchen.
“I’ll get some in a minute,” Jenna says.
She grabs the door handle and slides it open, walking out into the crisp autumn air.
Because I’m a lovesick puppy, I follow her.
Jenna leans against the railing, looking out at the waves.
The morning glow of the sun kisses her cheekbones, and I’m struck by how beautiful she looks in the morning without even trying.
But it’s more than that. It’s the way she seems to fit here without effort.
I’ve lived alone so long now, my condo has felt like my quiet place, my escape from long, busy days.
But with Jenna standing barefoot on my balcony, her scent carrying in the sea breeze, I realize, I don’t want her to go.
Before Jenna, my days felt like background noise.
Now, even the quiet hums with something new.
She has turned my ordinary into something to look forward to, I can’t deny that.
I step beside her and take a sip from my mug, with a satisfied “ah” sound. “There is nothing like a hot cup of coffee on a cool morning,” I say, because it’s true, but I also need something to say to fill the silence.
Jenna hums in agreement, then turns to me. “Frank called. My car is ready.”
“I know,” I reply. “He called me too.” I don’t let on that really I called Frank first. I lean sideways against the rail, watching her.
She looks nervous and it’s the first time I’ve ever seen her this way.
It’s adorable and a major turn on. Focus, buddy.
“I can drop you on my way to work. Danny is going to stop by your house sometime today to give you an official price for the foundation work. Then you can decide if you want to use his crew or shop it out.”
Jenna nods. “Okay. Thank you. Really. I couldn’t have gotten through this without you.
” She looks like she wants to reach for me but holds herself back—God, I wish she wouldn’t.
It’s taking everything I have not to give in first. The memory of her body against mine this morning is still seared into my skin like a cruel reminder of everything that I’m missing.
I already miss her warmth. I know what the right thing to do is, but every part of me wants to be wrong.
“Do you think it’s safe to go back to the house now after fumigating?”Jenna asks, tilting her head.
I take another sip of coffee and swallow hard. I don’t want you to go back to your house. The thought alarms me. I am usually ready for girls to leave the next morning, but I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready for Jenna to leave. “Maybe. I can call for you and see what they say,” I offer
“That would be nice, thank you.” Jenna smiles, pushing off the railing. “I’m going to get that coffee now.” She turns to go, and I can’t help myself anymore. I have to know if she realizes how cold my bed was after she left it.
“Jenna?” Her name catches on my breath, thick with everything I’m holding back.
She turns and looks at me but doesn’t say anything.
“Were we…cuddling?” I ask, a stifled smile playing on my lips.
“We were absolutely cuddling.” Jenna grins before disappearing inside.
This fucking girl.
I take my time getting my day started. The longer I can prolong my time with Jenna, the better.
I take Pete for a walk on the beach, then take a shower, since I didn’t after surfing last night.
I’m used to falling asleep with saltwater on my skin.
I get out, throw a little gel in my hair, and brush my teeth.
I give myself a little mirror pep talk, reminding myself that an important client is off limits until I can decide if I’m capable of being with someone for more than a week.
I slip out of the bathroom in my towel, avoiding Jenna but also hoping she sees me.
It would give her a little taste of her own medicine.
I put on dress pants and a button-down today as I have a couple of new client meetings this afternoon.
I make sure to spray enough cologne to catch Jenna’s attention.
She’s waiting on the couch with Pete snuggling up to her, engrossed in Good Morning America , when I come out. She quickly clicks the TV off and turns to face me, a small smile playing on her lips. “It’s been a while since I’ve watched actual TV.”
“Anything good?” I ask, gesturing to the now black screen.
Jenna shakes her head and stands. “Nah,” she says, picking up her packed duffel bag. She probably can’t wait to get away from me now.
“All right then, let’s hit the road.” I cock my head toward the front door and start walking, she trails behind. I can’t resist. I turn, gesturing to her overnight bag. “You packed already? Had enough of me?” I murmur, stepping closer to her.
Jenna blinks, caught off guard. “Oh…no. I just thought…just in case,” she stammers, shrugging.
I nod. “Okay. Just so you know…I am not in a hurry for you to go,” I add in a low voice.
I reach to take her bag from her, and she doesn’t object.
Our hands graze, and it takes everything in me not to pull her close.
I can’t force the girl to stay, especially after I turned down her advances last night, but I’d be lying if I said I’m not disappointed.
“It’s probably for the best…if the house is safe,” Jenna says awkwardly.
“I mean…I’m not staying in Cape May when this is all over.
Better if we’re just friends.” Her eyes flick past me to the door and back to mine.
She shrugs, forcing a smile. I get the sense that she is trying to convince herself, not me.
“Okay,” I say again. I always knew she was leaving. But after these past few days with her, I really wish she wasn’t.
Jenna is quiet on the ride to Frank’s, so I don’t hesitate to answer the phone when Nate calls. I’m already on thin ice with my ever-forgiving and ever-responsible younger brother.
“You’re on speaker,” I say instead of hello. The least I can do is warn him.
“Good morning, Miles.” Nate’s curt voice comes through the car speakers. Then more cheerfully, “Hi, Jenna.”
“Hi,” she says back in a singsong voice, then goes back to being quiet.
“I just wanted to see if you were actually going to show up to work today,” Nate says, antagonizing me.
I keep my voice level. “I am.” I exhale to steady my brewing frustration. “I am taking Jenna to pick up her car and then I’ll be in.”
“Okay…then we need to talk,” Nate says, and I don’t like the forewarning in his voice.
I snag a glance in Jenna’s direction, but her expression remains stoic as she stares straight out the windshield.
“I’ll call you back, Nate,” I say, ending the call before he can reply. Then, I’m pulling into Frank’s Auto.
When I park, I glance over at Jenna again. She slowly turns and looks at me.
“Do you want me to come in with you?” I offer.
Jenna shakes her head. “It’s okay. I think I’ve got it from here.” Then she pulls me into a hug that gives me a strange sense of goodbye. I don’t like it at all. “Thank you for everything, Miles.” Her breath skims my neck, sending a chill up my spine.
I pull back and search her face for answers. “I’ll call you later about the fumigation,” I say uncertainly.
Jenna shakes her head. “It’s okay. Maybe it’s just better if I call.” She gives me a grim smile.
“Okay.” I nervously drum my thumbs on the steering wheel and meet her gaze. “Why do I feel like this is you saying goodbye to me?” I furrow my brows.
Jenna blushes. “It’s not. It’s not goodbye. Just…see you later.” Jenna gathers her bag at her feet and opens the car door. “We’ll talk soon, Miles, okay?”
“Yeah. Sure,” I mutter. And then she’s gone, leaving me feeling bereft.
This is not goodbye. It can’t be.