14. Miles
MILES
J enna’s at my office door when I return from my new client meeting, and immediately I sense something is wrong.
Her brown eyes flash with something like frustration, and she exhales out of her nose like she’s trying to keep her cool.
She looks mad? I clear my throat, drape my sport coat over the chair, and set my bag down, bracing myself.
“Jenna,” I say cautiously. “I wasn’t expecting you. I called the extermin?—”
“Miles. What the hell?” Definitely mad. At me.
From his desk, Nate coughs and pushes back in his chair. “I’m just going to get a late lunch,” he says to no one in particular. We ignore him.
“What’s wrong?” I step closer to her, concern tightening my chest.
“What’s wrong?” she bellows. “You paid for my car, Miles. What. The. Fuck?” Jenna pulls out the chair in front of my desk and drops into it. She’s hot when she’s angry.
“I was being nice,” I offer. “I thought it would be a relief. You don’t have to pay me back.”
“Don’t have to pay you back? Miles, of course I have to pay you back.” Jenna gives me a stern look, folding her arms across her chest.
“Fine. Pay me back, then. Venmo me right now.” I sit down on the other side of my desk.
“I will,” she mumbles.
“Okay, great.” I put my hands behind my head and lean back in my chair, smiling at her smugly.
She straightens and looks at me, her expression softer now.
After a deep breath, she says, “Just… Why did you do that, Miles? I told you I can take care of myself . I don’t need a white knight.
” She huffs, folding her arms across her chest. Her frustration with me is real.
I can’t help wondering if anyone has ever done anything nice for her or taken care of her for that matter.
I’m fighting every instinct I have to walk around the desk, unfold her arms and wrap her in a hug, among other things.
“I did it to be nice,” I repeat, meaning it.
But after these past few days with Jenna, it’s more than that.
I’ve come to care about her—more than I expected to.
I don’t want to see her struggle even though she’s clearly capable of handling things on her own.
The day I showed up to help her clean, she was already elbow-deep in it.
She’s the one who called the utility companies, talked to Danny about the work, and made a plan for how to move forward.
Clearly, she doesn’t want my help, but I want to give it anyway.
It’s a foreign feeling. With Erin, doing things out of love slowly turned to obligation.
But with Jenna, it’s different. I don’t feel obligated—I want to carry some of the load for her.
“Don’t be nice to me, Miles,” she says firmly. “I’m not staying here.” There it is again. The tone of voice she uses when she’s trying to convince herself of something.
“I know you’re not staying,” I say, stifling a smile. “You never let me forget it.”
Jenna sighs. Then, quieter, “It’s just…if you keep being so nice to me then…” she trails off.
“Then what?” I press, holding her gaze.
“Then I’m going to want to. Stay, I mean.” She chews on her lip.
I bite back the grin threatening to betray me. I like the idea of her staying, but I won’t say that out loud. Not yet anyway, not until I’m sure I can be what she needs. “So, stay, Jenna. It’s a great place to live.” I hold out my hands as if to say, take a look around.
Jenna narrows her eyes. “No. I’m not staying. I don’t even know what I’d do here.”
I chuckle. So, she’s stubborn. “Okay, fine.” I raise my hands in surrender.
Jenna sits there quietly for a few moments. I boot up my computer while I wait for her to talk again. I busy myself, clicking through my inbox, taking a sip of water, rummaging through my drawer.
“It’s just—I don’t know how to handle you doing these things for me, Miles.
For so long, I am the one who took care of another person.
My world revolved around my job and caring for my ailing mother.
So, when you sweep in here and do these things, it makes me really uncomfortable.
” Jenna eyes me cautiously, gnawing at that lower lip that drives me crazy.
I let out a long, slow breath before I speak. “Wow. I’m sorry, Jenna. I didn’t think of it like that. I just thought I was being nice.” Embarrassment warms the back of my neck. Here I thought I was sweeping her off her feet and I did the exact opposite.
“It’s okay,” Jenna says quietly. “I do appreciate your help. I just…need some time to adjust to my new normal. I’m trying to figure out what to do next and where I belong.” Her voice cracks but she doesn’t falter.
“Okay. I’m sorry.” I look at her and our gazes lock, neither of us speaking.
Finally, I can’t take it anymore. I swallow the knot in my throat. “Is there anything else you want to talk about?”
A slow smile creeps across Jenna’s face. “I got a job,” she offers.
“A job,” I repeat, returning her smile. “Even though you aren’t staying here?”
She ignores me. This girl is too much. I try to ignore the hope that blooms in my chest at the idea of her staying. Until she tells me otherwise, I should take her at her word.
“Where?”I ask when it’s apparent she is only going to tell me if I do.
“The hardware store. It’s just holiday help,” she assures me. “Did you know Joy owns that place?” She quirks her eyebrows in surprise.
“I did, yes,” My lips twitch.
“She was the first person I actually felt like I could be friends with here,” Jenna says matter-of-factly.
“Hey.” I scowl at her defensively. “What about me?”
“Besides you.” Jenna smirks, pursing her lips.
“Good. I’m glad.” I smile at her and my cheeks warm.
“I took the liberty of calling the exterminator. Your house should be fine to stay in tonight.” I force myself to hide the disappointment from my voice.
I was really hoping she’d need another night with me.
Just thinking about the way we woke up today makes my dick move.
I need to think logically. I refused her advances last night.
I can’t just change my mind today. That wouldn’t be cool. But dammit, I want her.
“That’s good since I already went inside.” She laughs, and I think maybe I’m forgiven.
I’m not feeling much like laughing anymore though. “When can I see you again?” I ask, urgently. I don’t even bother to mask my desperation at this point.
“Oh, Miles…” Jenna sighs. “Maybe it’s a good idea if we take a few days of space…let whatever this is”—she motions between us—“simmer a little bit.”
“I don’t want to let it simmer, Jenna,” I admit, and it sounds harsher than I mean for it to.
“But I do,” Jenna reaffirms. “I put myself out there last night, and you turned me down. I realize now that was probably for the best.” She doesn’t let her gaze drop and neither do I, wondering which of us will break first.
Of course it’s me. I groan, running my hands down my face in exasperation. “Jenna.”
“Miles.” She bites back a smile as if she knows this is torture for me.
“I didn’t turn you down because I don’t want you,” I rasp. The emotion in my voice catches me off guard.
Jenna pushes her lips together. “Maybe. But you still turned me down. I’m taking that as a sign from the great big universe you love so much.” She is nowhere near as rattled by this as I am. In fact, I’d go as far as to say she is unbothered.
I peer at her from across the desk, but I don’t say anything right away. “I don’t think the universe is giving signs to the little people.” I sigh.
Jenna huffs out an exasperated breath. “Well, I do.” She pushes back in her chair and stands to leave. “I’ll see you around, Miles. Okay? And thanks for my car.”
“You’re welcome, I guess,” I grumble, slumping back in my chair. I let her walk out the door. What else can I do? I can’t force her to like me. The bell over the door jingles, and she’s gone.
“Finally. I thought she’d never leave.” Nate’s voice interrupts my pouting. He pulls out his chair and plops down, turning to face me.
“Did you listen to our entire conversation? I thought you went to get lunch.” I scowl, making it clear that I’m not in the mood for his shit.
“Of course I listened to it. I just said that so you could have some privacy. I believe you are supposed to thank me.” Nate laughs. When I don’t join in, he says, “Damn, you’ve got it bad for this one.”
I scoff. “I do not.”
“You so do. You’re sitting in here pouting like your prom date dumped you.” Nate chortles. Nate is doing exactly what younger brothers do, but the frustration in me is starting to build.
“Nate. Shut up. I’m not heartbroken. I just like her. But it doesn’t seem like she’s into it.” It comes out sulky. Maybe I am sulking. I’m not used to girls telling me no, even if I said it first.
“I’m no relationship expert, bro, but I think you’re going about it all wrong.” Nate leans back in his chair.
“Oh? How so?” I raise my eyebrows.
“Well, I can tell just by talking to Jenna that she’s an independent girl.
She is used to taking care of herself—she might even be proud of it.
So when you come in and pay for her car, it’s not the same thing as buying her a coffee.
Do you get what I’m saying?” Nate gives me a look that tells me I should have known this.
“I don’t get the impression that she’s looking for someone to save her. ”
“Oh yeah? Then what is she looking for? I thought girls liked to be swept off their feet.” I run my hands through my messy hair, groaning. I’m in over my head.
“Some girls do. Erin did, for sure. But I’m betting Jenna is looking for a partner. Not a savior.” Nate gives me a pointed look.
“You seem awfully sure of yourself,” I mutter. The truth is, normally, I am pretty sure of myself too, especially when it comes to the ladies. Jenna makes me feel like a clueless teenager who has no idea what he’s doing.
“It’s just a matter of listening to her, bro. Really listen to what she has to say. Even I heard her say that she can take care of herself.” Nate arches an eyebrow at me.
“I have. Or I thought I had.” I groan. “Fine. I’ll try it your way.”
“Hey, you aren’t doing me any favors. I’m just trying to help you.” Nate whirls back toward his computer.
“I know you are. I appreciate it,” I say, determined to get back to work and put Jenna out of my mind for a while.
A few hours pass and I’m mostly successful at quieting my mind. One thing is still nagging at me though. If Jenna is so determined to take care of herself, why didn’t she Venmo me? It’s not much to go on but it’s something.