37. Jenna
JENNA
I race down Miles’s steps, my vision clouded with tears and the pile of clothes in my hands.
I unlock the backseat of my car and throw the clothes on the seat and slide in next to them, taking a moment to collect myself.
I need to control my breathing and calm down, but my pulse is racing.
I can get through this. I’m used to being on my own.
In fact, I might prefer it. Sure, I got swept up by Miles for a bit, but that was just fun.
Maybe there was even a part of me that expected this to happen.
I was naive to think I could rely on anyone but myself to be my safe space.
I can’t trust that Miles loves me for me—or if he loves me out of obligation for his life.
Still, I let myself feel it all. I cry harder than I’ve cried in weeks as reality sets in.
I thought maybe I found a place here with Miles, but I was wrong.
I am alone. I will probably be alone forever.
I know I can be alone—but I was hoping not to be.
Self-pity settles over me like a thick fog.
I have no home to go back to, no job, and I owe way too much money on this house to ever be able to afford to stay here.
And how could I? Memories of life with my parents here are reflected in everything.
I love my dad so much.
Why did he have to go back that day?
I lost my dad because he saved the boy who would grow into the man I love.
“I cannot believe this is happening,” I cry to no one but myself. My feelings are all over the place. And still, there’s a part of me that wishes Miles would come running down the steps. I really believed there was something real between us. Now, I don’t know what to believe—I feel so deceived.
As soon as my breathing is under control, I text Morgan.
Me:
It’s over with Miles.
She FaceTimes me immediately, holding one of her babies in a rocking chair.
“Geez, Jenna,” she gasps when she sees my puffy red face. “Are you okay? What the hell happened?”
So, I fill her in. I tell her how he told me he loves me, and dare I say I saw her swoon. Then I tell her how Erin showed up this morning, breaking up our lovefest.
“That bitch,” Morgan growls. “I can’t even believe that. And he just let you walk out the door?”
“Yes.” I wipe at the fresh tears streaming down my face. I fill her in on the photos in the attic, the article, and what happened when I confronted Miles. “Now I’m sitting in my car and dinner at Aunt Leona’s is in twenty minutes. I’m a complete disaster.”
“Oh, Jenna.” Morgan’s face crumbles. “I’m so sorry,” she whispers.
“What am I going to do, Morg? I can’t stay here.” I tremble. “I thought I could, but I need to get out of here as soon as possible.”
“Well, take some time to sleep on it. You can come here, I told you. We’ll help you get back on your feet.” Morgan’s reassurance immediately sets me at ease. I’m not alone.
I’m startled by a knock on the window, but it’s not Miles, it’s Jake.
“I've got to go, I’ll call you tomorrow, Morgan.” I sniffle and hang up.
I push open the car door.
“I thought that was you. Mom’s condo is on the other side,” Jake says cheerfully, but concern clouds his features when he sees me. “Jenna, what the hell? Are you okay? Move over.”
I push the clothes I’m lying on to the floor and scoot over, letting Jake slide into the backseat. “What did that asshole do to you?” Jake snarls.
“Do I need to go knock down his door? I know where he lives,” Jake growls, gripping the door handle.
I grab his arm. “No, Jake. Don’t.” I sit up and wipe my eyes. “I have to ask you something.” I chew on my lower lip, raw and chapped from tears and the cold air.
“Anything,” Jake says, shifting his body to face mine.
“Did you know that my dad died rescuing a kid—and that it was Miles?” I hold my breath waiting for his answer.
Jake sighs, defeated. “I did, yeah. I wasn’t sure you knew but that’s why I told you I didn’t want you to get hurt.” Jake looks down at his hands instead of at my face.
“I thought you were worried he was a serial dater,” I mumble, wiping my nose again. “It feels like everyone knew but me.”
Jake reaches into the pocket of his hoodie and pulls out a tissue.
I smirk, blowing my nose into a tissue. “You just carry these around with you? You really are the son of an Italian lady.”
“Hey, I have a cold.” He gives me half a smile.
“Listen, I only knew because when your mom took you back home all those years ago, my mom was pissed about it. She knows Miles’s family and she wanted her to meet them.
My mom thought she might feel better if she saw that Uncle Nick saved a kid, helped a family. But your mom refused.”
“She was depressed for so long. That’s all I can remember about that time in my life.
My mom never got out of bed. She called out of work all the time.
I got myself ready for school, made my own lunches.
I would come home from school and crawl into bed with her and all we would do is cry.
” I let out a breath and close my eyes. The memories are too painful to endure.
“I know. For a while, my mom and dad would call your mom, asking her to move you guys down here. I think my mom really hoped she would at least talk to the Corbins, but one day, your mom flipped out. She told my mom to leave her alone and never call her again…so she didn’t.
” Jake reaches for my hand. “I was so happy to see you at Drexel. To know you were doing okay.”
I shrug helplessly. “I mean, I don’t know when things started to get better, but they did, eventually. My mom found a therapist. We both went. We healed. But she never wanted to come back here.” I sniffle. “So much so, she didn’t clean out the house at all . I guess that’s my job now.”
Jake is quiet for a moment before asking, “So, what happened with Miles?”
My eyes fill again, and I use the tissue to catch the falling tears, sniffling. “He knew. I just found out that he’s suspected for weeks who I am. He never told me.”
Jake lets out a puff of air. “Wow. I mean, I knew too. But you aren’t dating me, so I get how you might feel betrayed.”
“I don’t have anywhere to go now. I have no roof on that stupid house. It caved in. I was staying here, but I can’t anymore. I’m not sure if I can be with him knowing what I know now.” I worry at my chapped bottom lip.
Jake’s lips form a tight line, deep in thought. He pulls out his phone. “Let me tell my mom we’re a bit late. We’ll figure this out.” He hammers out a text.
“I think I’m just going to tell Nate to handle the sale and move down south with Morgan. There’s nothing here for me.” I wipe my eyes and begin to gather myself. “Do you have another tissue?”
Jake pauses mid-text to hand me a mini pack of tissues. Then he looks at me. “Jenna, you have me. My mom. We’re here for you.” His tone is serious but comforting. “ We’re your family. Don’t you remember the fun we used to have?”
I shift in my seat. “I do. But you don’t even know me anymore.”
Jake laughs, eyeing me sideways. “It doesn’t matter. Blood is blood, Jenna. You can’t leave. You can stay with me or my mom—God, she would probably love that—at least through the holidays. We will help you figure this out if you let us.”
I nod slowly. Jake and Aunt Leona want to be my family. I’m not alone. “Okay, maybe.”
“Good. I’m starving. Can we get out of here now?” Jake jokes, half-heartedly.
“Yes,” I say, shaking my head and wiping at my tear-streaked cheeks. I feel a little better. “Let’s get out of here.”
“Sorry, Mom!” Jake calls, pushing open Aunt Leona’s front door.
“It’s okay, dear.” Aunt Leona walks into the entryway, drying her hands on a dish rag.
I thought I did a pretty good job pulling myself together, but Aunt Leona notices immediately. She rushes forward, wrapping me in a maternal embrace that makes me miss my own mom. “Jenna, sweetheart, what happened?” She pulls back, examining me.
“Why don’t we talk about it over dinner?
” Jake suggests, making for the kitchen.
Aunt Leona has set the table and poured three glasses of red wine.
Heavenly-smelling covered dishes sit in the center.
It’s the portrait of a family meal and something I haven’t experienced myself in ages—aside from dinner at the Corbin’s last night.
The memory makes my throat burn. “Come on, I’m starving. ”
My lips turn upward, despite my mood. No wonder Jake is still single .
Aunt Leona links her arm through mine and leads me into the small dining room.
Her condo view isn’t as good, and the condo itself isn’t as modern as Miles’s but it’s cozy and warm.
Leona’s kitchen opens to a dining area, divided by a half wall.
The walls are painted a deep beige. She has a brown sectional couch with big, fluffy cushions in front of a gas fireplace that I imagine myself sinking into.
Her balcony is smaller than Miles’s, but you can still see the ocean.
“You can sit there, dear.” Aunt Leona gestures to a seat in the middle of the round table, herself and Jake on either side of me.
She makes herself busy, taking lids off the dishes and filling our plates with roasted chicken, vegetables, and mashed potatoes.
Jake and I are quiet, watching. When she finally sits down and pulls her chair in, she reaches for my hand.
“Please, tell me why you look so upset.”
Jake clears his throat. “Maybe she’d like to eat first, Ma?” He raises his eyebrows at his mother.
I shake my head, taking a bite of mashed potatoes. “No, it’s okay. There’s a lot going on right now.”
“She was dating Miles,” Jake interjects. “You know, Miles Corbin. She just found out…” His voice trails off.
“Oh, Jenna,” Aunt Leona sighs as a look of realization crosses her face. “I’m sorry. That must be very painful for you.”
I close my eyes as tears start to well up and then open them again.
I swallow the knot in my throat. “It’s only painful because he kept it from me.
If he had told me right away, I probably would have thought it was some kind of fate.
” I snort through my tears and blot them away with my dinner napkin.
“Maybe it is.” Aunt Leona shrugs. “The Corbins are great people.” A wistful look crosses her face.
“In fact, the reason they have managed your house all these years is because of our friendship. We used to be much closer but… When everything happened and your mom took you away, Susan was upset. She really wanted to meet her. It became a point of contention between us.” Aunt Leona takes a sip of her wine.
“I know they’re great people. They’re lovely.
It’s just, I’ve had a lot of hurt in my life.
I really can’t take being lied to,” I mumble.
“It’s more than that though. I have nowhere to go.
My house is missing a roof. It’s a money pit.
I lost my job right before I came here. I’m just feeling very lost.”
Aunt Leona’s face softens, and she scoots her chair closer to mine, putting an arm around me. “I’m sure Jake already told you this, but you aren’t alone. You have us.”
I nod, forcing myself to take a bite of food so I don’t start crying again. My head pounds like a jackhammer, like my brain might explode from overthinking and crying all afternoon.
Aunt Leona scoots her chair back to her side. “You can stay here if you’d like. I have a nice guest room.”
“Thank you.” I sigh with relief. “Maybe just tonight, until I figure out what to do with myself.”
“I think you should stay through the new year,” Jake suggests. “What’s the sense in uprooting your life now? You can avoid Miles. I’ll handle the sale if you want me to. Just don’t go running away yet. Let us help you.” He offers me a reassuring smile.
“I would love your company,” Aunt Leona adds. “I’m practically begging Jake to visit his old mama every week.”
Jake scowls. “Not true. I take good care of you,” he grumbles.
I glance between the two of them, fighting the swell of emotion that’s blossoming in my chest. Miles might have broken my trust, but here is my family, whom I haven’t seen in twenty-five years, ready to take me back in.
“I am so grateful,” I say, putting my fork down.
“But, it’s been so long. I just… I worry you won’t like me. ”
Jake laughs. “What?”
Aunt Leona ignores him. “Jenna, you’re our family. Your mother and I didn’t see eye to eye at the end, but your dad was my brother. I loved him very much. I will not just throw you out on the streets to fend for yourself.”
I meet her warm gaze and nod. “It does feel really good to be near family.”
Aunt Leona squeals. “Good! Then it’s settled. You belong with us.”
I smile at her, feeling better for the first time today.
This morning, I woke up feeling sure that Miles was the one for me.
I’m not ending my day with him, and I don’t know if I ever will again, but at least I have people to lean on.
I may be picking up the pieces of my life, but at least I don’t have to do it alone.