39. Jenna
JENNA
W hen I open my eyes in Aunt Leona’s guest room, I’m confused. I’ve forgotten everything that happened yesterday, and I’m grappling at the space next to me for Miles’s warm body. I don’t find it. Then the memory comes crashing into me like a freight train.
Miles lied. He betrayed me.
The panic of never seeing him again rises in my chest, and I have a sudden, desperate urge to talk to him. I grab my phone. He’s called twice and texted. I’m just about to hit call when I hear Jake’s voice.
“Jenna, are you up?” he calls down the short hallway.
I toss my phone aside and meet him at the bedroom door. “Hey,” I say, suddenly conscious of wearing my satin pajamas in front of my cousin.
“I just saw Miles in front of his condo,” Jake blurts, pushing his way into the room.
“What were you doing all the way over there?” I frown. “It’s the other side of the complex.” The color drains from my face as I make the connection. “Were you waiting for him?”
Jake shrugs, looking embarrassed. “Maybe. I just wanted to talk to him.”
I put my hands on my hips. “Listen, I know you think you’re making it better, but you’re not.” I exhale my frustration and close my eyes for a moment. “Please, stay out of it, okay? Don’t talk to Miles.”
Jake looks ready to argue but he closes his mouth. “Fine. But you shouldn’t either.”
I turn away from him and back to my phone. “I’ll figure it out,” I mutter, picking up my phone.
“I’m just trying to help, Jenna.” Jake’s voice sounds wounded and defensive all at the same time.
I shoot him an apologetic look. “I know. I get that. I just have a lot going on in my mind and…I have to figure it out.” I look down at Miles’s text and start to type back, but then something stops me.
No matter how much I love him, he kept something huge from me.
He might love me, but he wouldn’t have done that if he respected me.
I set the phone on my nightstand and start making the bed. Jake is still standing in the doorway.
“What are you going to do?” he asks me, his voice tight with uncertainty.
“I’m going to have brunch with Joy. And then, I don’t know.” I shrug. “Maybe go get the rest of my stuff from the house.”
“Let me know if you need any help,” Jake offers halfheartedly.
“Thanks, but I think this is something I have to do on my own. I’ll see you later.” I offer Jake a small, weary smile, a polite cue to go.
When he finally does, I get dressed and try to bring myself back to life in the bathroom.
My eyes are puffy and bloodshot from all of the crying I did yesterday.
Dark circles have settled under my eyes, showing my exhaustion.
My face is blotchy, my expression weary, and remnants of yesterday’s sorrow linger on my features.
I do my best to cover it up and put on a happy face for Joy, my only friend here.
Half an hour later, I’m walking up to the coffee shop to meet Joy, feeling moderately better. That is until I see the melancholy on her face as she leans against the brick building, waiting for me.
“Joy, what’s the matter?” I rush to her side. “You look awful.”
Joy takes my hand in hers and leads me to a bench. A shiver runs through me—I’m suddenly afraid of what she’s about to say. “Let’s sit down,” she says cautiously. “How are you? Have you talked to Miles?” She chews on her lip.
I frown. “Actually, there’s so much more to the Miles story than Erin coming back to town.” I exhale deeply. “I was going to fill you in over brunch but…”
Joy looks at me expectantly. “Don’t hold back on me now, Jenna,” she retorts.
“Well, okay. I don’t have a huge appetite anyway,” I mumble. I suck in a sharp breath and let it out forcefully. “Last night I learned that my dad died performing a rescue—Miles was the boy. Back in 1997. He collapsed on the beach right after.”
Joy’s jaw hangs open. “No shit,” she murmurs. “Did Miles tell you that?”
The question triggers me, and my eyes well up with tears. I shake my head and Joy puts her arm around me. “When I left the store, he still hadn’t called me back. I decided to go to my house and take a shower to get ready for my dinner with my aunt.” I sniffle and reach in my pocket for a tissue.
Joy nods. “Okay, go on,” she urges.
Everything spills out at once. I tell her how I kept peeking out of the shower to see if my phone was lighting up, and how I worried while I dried my hair, and chose an outfit. Finally, I tell her about finding the photos and the article.
“I hope you confronted his lying ass,” Joy cuts in sharply.
I wipe my eyes and nod. “Well, I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt at first, so I drove over and asked him about it. But he hesitated when he answered, and that’s when I knew he had been keeping it from me.” A new round of tears starts to fall.
“Oh, sweetie,” Joy squeezes me, and I rest my head on her shoulder, grateful for the physical contact.
“Then it occurred to me that he was at his condo all alone, so why hadn’t he called me? He said he was sleeping ,” I say incredulously. “Can you even believe that?”
Joy pushes her lips together in a tight line and the expression reminds me that when I walked up, she looked upset. “Actually, I think I can,” she mumbles.
When I look at her expectantly, she caves.
“I saw Miles this morning,” she says carefully. “He wasn’t alone.”
My heart hammers in my chest and I suck in a breath, meeting her eyes. “Okay. Was he with Erin?”
Joy nods sadly, pushing her lips together. “I only saw them as they were saying goodbye.” She pauses. “But they hugged for a long time and held hands.” Joy’s face crumbles. “I’m so sorry. I wanted so badly to believe he changed.”
I shrug and suck in a cleansing breath. “You know what? It’s okay.
Knowing that makes me feel a little better.
” I look down at my tightly clenched fists and slowly open my hands, nodding to myself.
I glance up at Joy. “At least, if he gets back together with his ex-wife, it makes his lying to me okay, in some twisted way. Like we weren’t meant to be anyway. Does that make sense?”
Joy gives me a grim smile and solemnly nods. “It does, I think.” She stands up and offers me her hand. “Come on, let’s get some brunch. Carbs make everything better.”
“You can say that again,” I agree, following her inside.
For the first time in twenty-four hours, I feel like I might be okay.