Chapter 14
brOOKE
Ididn’t think I had any tears left inside me.
Everything had changed.
Most nights I held a pillow to my chest and cried myself to sleep. I was a zombie at work, barely going through the motions. After many concerned glances from Loretta, my charge nurse pulled me aside and told me I had two weeks’ leave, and she better not see me back here until after then.
A knock sounded at my bedroom door.
“I don’t feel like watching anything, Whit. I’m just going to hang out in here again,” I said through the door. I knew I was being a shit friend, especially since Whit was in her second trimester now and finally feeling well enough to hang out regularly.
Slowly, the door eased open. I scrunched my face up. Had I fallen asleep? Was this some sort of sleep-deprived hallucination? I blinked through my tear-encrusted eyes, staring at the large shape in my doorway.
“Cade?” I said, in bewilderment.
“You really know how to leave a guy hanging.” He smiled warmly.
I stared back blankly.
“You stopped responding to my letters. I got worried, B. Whit’s worried about you too. I’m here. What can I do?”
I’m not even sure what made me say it. “Take me home.”
He looked puzzled. “To Vermont?”
I nodded, tears welling again. My request didn’t even make sense—I didn’t even have a home in Vermont anymore. He wasn’t fazed long, though. Typical Cade, he sprang into action.
“Okay,” he replied. “I need to make a quick call. Let’s get Whit’s help to pack you a bag.”
Within an hour we were driving along in Cade’s rental car.
I stared out the window, watching the scenery pass by.
After Maple’s initial time with her nose pressed eagerly against the back window, she had circled up contentedly in the back seat, releasing a big dog sigh as she settled into her position.
Gray skies faded into darkness, and eventually, we pulled into our old neighborhood.
Finally, I met Cade’s eyes.
“Your parents won’t mind?” I asked, watching him pull into their driveway.
I loved the Adlers, but I wasn’t really up for imitating the expected enthusiasm and etiquette required for being a guest in someone’s home.
He shook his head. “They’re in Florida. They’ve had a cleaning service come by while they’re gone, and their room is freshly made up. I called them and they said to tell you to take their room.”
My eyes filled with tears. Somehow, with only a few words, he’d known exactly what I needed. “Thank you,” I whispered.
Cade unloaded our bags from the car. “Are you hungry?” he asked. “Mom said there would be a few things in the freezer.”
I shook my head, taking a seat on the worn leather sofa while Maple sniffed around curiously, exploring the new environment. After a short sniff-test of the living space, she nudged my hand with her wet nose (I’m here, she seemed to tell me), then curled up at my feet.
Cade walked down the hall towards his childhood bedroom, and I heard his duffel hit the bed.
“What about work? And Echo?” I asked when he reentered the living room and set a glass of water on the table beside me. I attempted a small smile. My throat felt scratchy from disuse.
“The guys will cover my shifts while I’m gone. Val’s watching Echo. It’s all covered.”
Again, I nodded. I couldn’t seem to make myself form enough words for a full conversation.
I had a moment’s anxiety over disrupting Cade’s life.
I couldn’t believe he’d dropped everything and rearranged his life like this .
. . for me. Cheryl’s voice rang in my head.
You have to accept that you are worth other people’s time.
When people want to be there for you, let them.
Cade flipped on the TV, seemingly undeterred by my lack of chatter. He pulled my feet into his lap, slipped my shoes and socks off, and began to knead my arches. It was a habit of his that went back to my volleyball days.
I leaned my head back against the back of the couch and closed my eyes.
“Mm.” I made an appreciative noise as he worked the knots out of my feet. He paused for the briefest moment, then continued.
Sometime later, I realized I had fallen asleep, because I could tell I was moving through the air—being carried, I realized.
“Cade,” I mumbled, trying to get out something about being too heavy for him.
“Shhhhhh . . .” was his only response as he gently situated me on the bed. He tucked me under the covers, and I felt the weight of Maple as she jumped on the bed and settled next to me. I turned on my side, and she curled up in the crook of my legs.
And I slept.
I awoke to bright sunlight streaming in the windows, startling when I realized I wasn’t in my room or in my bed. Maple stirred at my feet, her presence comforting and anchoring me. After a minute, I allowed my heart rate to slow as I realized where I was. I was in Vermont, in Cade’s childhood home.
In his parents’ bed.
Ugh, what must he think of me?
I found my medicine bottle waiting on the nightstand next to me, and a glass of water next to that.
I stumbled into the bathroom and surveyed myself in the wide mirror. I was a mess. My hair and teeth both needed brushing, and the skin underneath my eyes was a deep purple. My sweats hung baggily off my frame. I really needed to start eating properly again.
I returned to the bedroom and grabbed my toiletries, attempting at least the bare minimum of presentability.
I brushed through my long hair, removing all the tangles.
I brushed my teeth, swiped on some deodorant, and changed into black yoga pants and a clean, oversized top.
I slipped some slippers on my bare feet.
That would have to be good enough for now.
As I wandered down the hall, I smelled the glorious smells of home-cooked breakfast. My stomach gave a sharp pang. When had I last truly felt hungry?
I stumbled into the Adlers’ kitchen, with Maple hot on my heels. I’m sure the smells were driving her crazy, too.
Cade stood at the stove, tending to eggs and sizzling bacon.
He wore a soft blue tee that hugged every inch of his muscled frame, and low-slung gray sweats.
Sweet baby Jesus, I thought, staring at his sculpted ass beneath the fabric before I could stop myself.
Doesn’t this man know that gray sweats are like a Playboy mag for women?
My stomach stirred again for an entirely different reason than the food—it had been a long time since I’d felt that feeling as well.
Cade continued to cook, humming to himself, oblivious to my brief hormonal turmoil.
“Smells good,” I chirped, alerting him to my presence.
He turned around, stunning me with a full, winning grin. The dimple on his cheek was on full display, and I smiled in spite of myself. I looked down to his chest to see he was wearing his mom’s frilly pink apron. I choked out a hoarse laugh at the sight.
“Figured I’d get all domestic.” He gestured to himself in the apron, waggling his eyebrows comically. “Juice? Coffee? Tea?”
“Tea would be amazing,” I said, sliding onto a barstool at the island to watch him work. Moments later, he set a steaming mug in front of me, and I cupped my hands around it, letting the warmth seep into my bones.
I looked around the familiar kitchen. “Wow, this place really does look exactly the same,” I said in wonder.
“I know,” he chuckled. “Welcome back to the Land of Cocks—” he gestured to the numerous roosters on display.
I broke into the first genuine grin I’d had in weeks. I covered my face as a blush crept up my cheeks. I never could make a dirty joke without blushing.
Cade went back to humming.
I tried not to stare at his form as he moved competently around the kitchen—really, I did.
Cade plated our food and we ate side-by-side at the island, amiably quiet. Then he fed Maple for me and leashed her up for a walk.
“Grab your shoes,” he directed.
He didn’t leave room for me to dispute, and even with breakfast in my belly, I didn’t have the energy to contradict him and claim I was too tired.
I slipped on warm boots and threw on a sweatshirt, grabbing my coat at the front door.
I knew my clothes were hodgepodge, but Cade seemed like he couldn’t care less.
Breathing the fresh Vermont air felt healing to my soul.
We took off around the block. Through my many layers, I felt a gentle hand on my lower back as Cade subtly shifted me so that I was walking on the inside, and he would be standing on the side closest to the street.
Maple trotted faithfully alongside us, stopping occasionally to sniff a curious smell.
We leisurely walked around the cul-de-sac, commenting on changes we saw to the neighbors’ houses and yards.
The brick mailbox in front of my old home had been replaced.
Toys outside Helen’s old home made me wonder about the family that lived there now.
I knew Jace and Jared’s family had moved into a larger, more expensive subdivision in high school, so their home presumably had new occupants as well.
Sammy’s family had moved away, too. In some ways the neighborhood felt the same, but I couldn’t ignore all the changes right in front of me.
It created a bittersweet nostalgia inside me.
As we made the full circle, we passed my old driveway, and Cade showed me the tiny dark spot that was still on the concrete—the stained spot where my brother, Owen, had busted his head roller-blading, which had earned him a lengthy lecture from our mom about brain injuries and the importance of helmets.
I appreciated that Cade didn’t push me to talk about anything else besides our shared childhood and former neighbors. It was like he sensed that I wasn’t ready to open up the wounds in my life that hadn’t even finished closing.
I was so grateful to him for that.