Chapter Forty-One
MILES
PRESENT
Marina giggles, fumbling with her keys outside the door to her apartment as I kiss her neck. I could barely keep my hands off her on the way here, my thumb stroking her hand where it sat on my thigh while I drove us from Hotel Dolce to here.
A tiny part of me feels bad for the girl I abandoned at the Hotel. If she pulls her money from the fundraiser, I’ll pay Caio back, but there was no way I was doing anything other than staying in that elevator.
“Hurry up, princess,” I mutter against her throat. I can feel her heart beating at a rapid pace when I press a kiss to the base of her neck. Mine is beating in synchronicity.
The thought of being together like this after so long has my gut swirling with a mix of emotions I can barely decipher, but one is more potent than all of the others: need.
She squeaks a noise as she finds the right key, sliding it into the keyhole and pushing open the door. I kick it shut behind me just as Marina steps out of my grasp.
She throws her keys on the small kitchen island before turning around, her eyes suddenly losing their spark of certainty. “Should we talk about this?”
“We can do whatever you want,” I say. She just nods, her eyes darting around the room.
“We don’t have to do anything, Marina. If you want to just sit on the couch and watch a movie, we can do that too, just let me know so I can communicate that to the rest of my body,” I breathe.
Her ears lift as the corners of her mouth turn up. But barely a moment later, her brows pull together and the look in her eye softens. “I think I want to,” she breathes, a tear slipping down her cheek.
I just rub my thumb along her cheekbone, looking into my favorite set of glassy eyes as I watch her deliberate this. I can’t blame her. The elevator was hot, but it was the first time she’s been impulsive with me, and I don't want to rush this if she’s not ready.
“This is real, isn’t it?” she whispers.
“This was always real, princess.”
She brings her lips to mine in a soft kiss, one that screams vulnerability and tastes of salt. I cradle her head in my hands, slowly tangling my fingers in her hair as she opens her mouth to me.
This is something different from what happened earlier tonight.
That was desire and impulse. This is years worth of hurt and yearning, a throbbing ache to tear down the last of the walls standing between us so that we can finally stand together.
It’s begging for forgiveness not with words, but with the soft touch of each other's skin.
Marina’s hands find my shirt, slowly tugging at the buttons, opening it at a pace that has me wanting to rip it off and do it back up at the same time. Stuck between wanting to savor this moment and wanting to get to the next one.
She pulls her puffy lips from mine, looking down at my chest as she finishes with the buttons.
She slowly runs her palms up my torso, her fingers finding every dip and ridge in my body and exploring them.
Her touch feels like a spark, lighting up every part of my body that she touches, leaving heat in her path.
She reaches my birthmark, the one I was always conscious of until she taught me to love it. She runs her finger around the shape, tracing it like a country on a map, or something she is remembering with a fondness.
Her hands find my shoulders, pushing the shirt down my arms. She helps me slide my left arm out first, before my right, being extra careful of the angle of my arm. “How does it feel?” she asks into my chest.
“I can’t even feel it right now.”
She just nods, looking back up at me, emotion clouding her hazel eyes before she pulls on the back of my neck, dragging my lips down to meet hers.
Her lips are so soft, so warm and inviting as she meets my tongue in my mouth. She kisses me with intent, our tongues performing a slow dance, tangling and tasting at an agonising pace.
Despite saying I couldn’t feel it, the angle of my neck pulls at the muscles connecting it with my shoulder. I grab Marina by the waist, sitting her on the island so she meets my height. Her eyes flare with desire as she looks at me. “Did I tell you how much I love the mustache?”
“It’s working for you?” I ask.
She pulls her lip between her teeth and nods. “It’s working.”
My fingers find the hem of her top, my knuckle grazing the warm skin of her belly. “Can I?”
“Yes,” she breathes.
I roll up the fabric, pulling it over her head and placing it on the counter beside her. My hand finds her waist. “Does this feel okay?”
She nods. “It feels new yet so familiar at the same time.”
“I know,” I say, brushing my knuckles across her cheek, my touch as light as a feather.
Marina closes her eyes, as if she’s taking a second to ground herself in this moment. I try to do the same, to convince myself this is more than just a dream I’ve wished to come true for too long.
It feels like a leap. Like when the hero of a movie has to jump across the ravine because the bridge broke when the last guy ran across it.
But I don’t want to jump. I want to tiptoe until I reach the other side, and hope Marina is tiptoeing towards me too.
“Miles,” her voice is like an angel’s whisper. “Be with me. Even if it’s just for right now.”
She reaches for my belt buckle, her fingers trailing over the metal as if she’s waiting for my confirmation. I hook my finger under the strap of her bra, letting it fall against her arm. “I will be with you for however long you let me, baby.”
Those words are her undoing. She reaches behind her back, flicking the clasp of her bra open and letting it fall into her lap.
My eyes don’t leave hers as I release the buckle on my belt and pull it free of the loops on my pants.
She pulls open the button and pushes them down my legs, watching as I step out of them.
I reach underneath her legs, pulling her into my arms and heading for her bedroom. “Miles!” she squeals. “You shouldn’t be lifting anything heavy!”
“You are far from heavy, princess.” I sit down on the edge of the bed, leaving her in my lap. “But I can’t put weight on my arms, I can’t hold myself up how I want to.”
“That’s okay.” She stands from my lap, taking a step back, and I can’t help but drink her in.
Can’t help but let my eyes wander over the swell of her perfect breasts and the curve of her hips.
I can’t tear my eyes away as she hooks her thumbs in the waistband of her panties and pulls them down her gorgeous legs. “We have options.”
I don’t know how it happened, but I’m on my knees at the side of the bed, looking up at her like she’s the goddess I should be praying to.
“Miles.” A small smile sparkles in her eyes. It’s like she sees something in my eyes, because then she’s kneeling in front of me, her small hand meeting my cheek.
“I have always been yours,” I say, not holding back anything now. “Even throughout all of the years I was away from you, I was still yours.” Marina climbs into my lap, her eyes misty as they lock on mine. “Please just tell me you’re mine, too.”
I can feel my own eyes burning as tears slide down my girl’s rosy cheeks. This moment feels existential, like it will determine everything moving forward. I can feel the weight of gravity holding me here on the floor.
She wraps her arms around my neck, pulling me towards her as she kisses me. She opens her mouth instantly and she’s moaning within seconds, grinding her bare pussy against my cock that’s still hidden beneath my underwear, but I don’t spare a second to complain.
Desire spreads like wildfire through my body, the hot friction between us stoking it.
I can feel Marina’s wet heat through the cotton of my boxers, and all I want to do is be inside of it.
As if she feels the same pulsating need that I do, Marina reaches for the drawer of her nightstand, aimlessly feeling around in there without breaking our kiss, before the distinct sound of a condom wrapper has my gaze darting to where she’s now shutting the drawer.
“Having second thoughts?” she asks.
I just shake my head incredulously. “Never.”
“Good.” She pulls the wrapper open with her teeth, making me even harder than I already was—no small feat. She shuffles backward, giving me enough space to get my boxers halfway down my thighs before she rolls the condom down my length.
Her hand is back on my neck and her forehead meets mine as she pants into the quiet room.
“Are you sure this is what you want?” I ask. “Because you can change your mind at any point, even now.”
She rolls her head against mine. “Shut up, hotshot. ”
Her lips are back on mine within an instant, her teeth tugging at my bottom lip as she raises her hips, lining us up.
It feels like everything stops for a moment, like the world stops spinning, like we are frozen in time at this moment. In this moment before.
Before the tip of my cock teases against her entrance. Before my eyes close as I grip her hips, holding her steady as she lets me in an inch. Before she sucks air between her teeth.
“Does that hurt?” I ask. My hands relax their grip in case she wants to pull away.
“A little bit, but it’s okay. I haven’t done this in a while,” she says sheepishly.
I tuck her curls behind her ear, bringing her gaze back to mine. “I haven’t done this since you.”
Her eyes widen, her pupils swallowing the ring of brown in her eyes, leaving only black and green as she stares into my eyes.
“I told you,” I chuckle lightly, “I couldn’t think about anyone else.”
Her forehead meets mine again as she sinks all the way down until I’m seated entirely inside of her. I groan at the familiar grip she hugs me with, her body holding me tightly inside of her.
“I’m yours.”
My eyes fly open, tears burning at the back of them as my heart surges in my chest. “What?”
And then she says the words I feel like I’ve been waiting an entire lifetime to hear. “I am yours, Miles Beckett, for as long as you’ll have me.”