CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
He knelt beside Harper, reaching for her neck and pressing two fingers to the side of her throat. She was breathing, he could see that, and a moment later he felt the too-quick flutter of her heart.
In the background, he heard Luke saying in a low, urgent tone. “I’m going to need an ambulance to—” His voice rose. “Shit, what’s the address, Sebastian?”
“It’s on the whiteboard by the door,” he shouted back.
Sebastian turned his attention to Harper again. She was coming too, her gaze a little unfocused, but her eyes were open.
“Hey,” he said, shaking her gently. “Harper. Can you hear me?”
“Uncle Sebby?” she asked woozily.
“Yeah, yeah I’m right here, baby,” he said, smoothing a hand over her tangled hair. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
He relayed what he could to Luke, who passed it along to the dispatcher.
While they waited for the ambulance to arrive, Sebastian carried Harper downstairs.
She was still groggy and out of it and she kept saying that she felt funny, but didn’t seem to be able to explain where or what exactly was wrong.
It felt like it took forever for the ambulance to get there and Sebastian almost wept with relief when he heard the wail of the sirens.
Luke held the door open for the paramedics in the entryway, and Sebastian gently deposited her on the gurney, nodding as the medics introduced themselves.
He relayed her medical history as they strapped Harper to the gurney, interrupting occasionally to explain to her what they were doing.
The female medic—whose name Sebastian had already forgotten—frowned at what Sebastian told her. “Harper,” she said. “I need to take a look at your chest here. Is that okay?” She pointed at a spot over Harper’s heart.
“Okay,” Harper said in a small voice and the medic carefully peeled back the top of Harper’s pajamas, just enough that Sebastian could see a blotchy pinkish red spot on her chest around her pacemaker incision.
Shit.
The medic nodded like it was what she’d expected. “Looks like it could be rejection,” she said under her breath. “Let’s get her hooked up to the monitor.”
“Fuck,” Sebastian muttered.
Luke’s arm closed tightly around him and he sagged against him, grateful for the support.
“Hey, she’s in good hands,” Luke said quietly.
“I know. I just …” Sebastian’s voice trailed off as they watched the medics attach electrodes to Harper’s chest, still explaining to her what they were doing the whole time.
When they were done hooking up the monitor, the female medic looked at Sebastian. “You’re her uncle?”
“Yeah.”
“You can ride with us. Sorry, there’s only room for one.” She gave Luke an apologetic look. “I’m afraid your partner will have to drive separately.”
“That’s fine.” Luke squeezed Sebastian tightly. “What hospital?”
After Sebastian made sure Luke knew where to go, he followed the paramedics as they loaded Harper into the ambulance. She looked so fucking small on the gurney.
“Uncle Sebby?” she asked, clearly afraid.
“Yeah, I’m right here,” he said thickly, reaching out to take her hand and stay out of the medic’s way as she put an oxygen mask on and started an IV.
“I want Mommy,” Harper whimpered, her voice muffled through the mask.
“I know, sweetie,” he said, his fingers trembling as he dug his phone out of his pocket. “I’m calling her right now.”
Sebastian’s stomach knotted as he waited for Brie to pick up.
She was laughing as she answered. “What is it, Seb? Did you forget where I store the extra toilet paper again?”
“I’m in an ambulance on the way to the hospital with Harper,” he said tightly. “She passed out and they think it’s possible she’s rejecting her pacemaker.”
“Fuck!” Brie swore. “Fuck, is she—is she okay?”
“She’s a little woozy but conscious.”
The medic looked up. “That’s her mom?”
“Yeah,” Sebastian said.
“Tell her that Harper is stable with an irregular heartbeat. She’s conscious and responding to questions. Right now, we’re just giving her oxygen, fluids, and monitoring her heart.”
Sebastian repeated that.
Brie let out a muffled little sob. “I should be there with her.”
In the background, Sebastian heard a woman say something, too quiet for him to hear.
“I’m here until you can be,” Sebastian assured his sister. “We’re on our way to the children’s hospital ER. You can meet us there. Are you good to drive?”
Brie sniffled. “I—I took a rideshare to the bar because I planned to have a drink or two. Krista is—is calling another ride and coming with me now.”
“Good,” Sebastian said. “One sec, Brie.”
He looked at the medic. “Can Brie talk to Harper?”
“Yeah, of course,” she said. “You can hold the phone to her ear.”
“Brie, I’m going to hold the phone to Harper’s ear,” Sebastian explained.
“Thank you,” she said, letting out another muffled sob. “Thank you, Seb.”
Sebastian’s arm ached by the time they pulled into the ambulance bay at the children’s hospital but it was worth it. Harper had stayed calm and Brie sounded a lot more steady when Sebastian lifted to the phone to his ear again to tell her they’d arrived.
“We’ll be there soon,” Brie promised as Sebastian hopped out of the ambulance and followed the paramedics wheeling into the pediatric ER.
“She’s gonna be okay, Brie,” Sebastian said tightly.
He had to believe that. What other choice did he have?
“I told you, I’m here for Harper Ross,” Luke said, glaring at the older woman at the ER check in desk. “I need to know if she and her uncle have arrived.”
There was no way Luke had beat an ambulance here. He’d been speeding, but it wasn’t like he’d been on his Harley and able to weave through traffic. They must already be here.
The receptionist glanced up from her screen. “Sir, I don’t care who you are or who you’re here for. I cannot give out patient information unless you are immediate family.”
Luke scowled. “Can you at least fucking see if there’s someone named Sebastian Breckon here waiting for a patient? He’s my boyfriend and he came with his niece in an ambulance!”
He was dimly aware that his voice was much too loud and he’d maybe outed himself and he didn’t fucking care. He needed to know that Harper and Sebastian were okay and—
“Luke?”
He spun on his heel to see a worried looking Brie and … Krista Claybourn? What the fuck was Tom’s wife doing here with Brie?
“Uhh, hey,” he said, dragging a hand through his hair, deciding he’d work all that out later. “I was at the house when Harper passed out. I drove here separately. Sebastian called you and told you what’s going on?”
“Yeah,” Brie said, frowning. “I just got here. What’s wrong?”
“I’ve been trying to get through to Sebastian but he’s not answering his fucking phone, and no one will tell me anything.”
He glared at the old lady at the desk who raised an eyebrow at him, clearly not impressed or intimidated by him.
“Let me go talk to them,” Brie said.
She walked over to the desk and Luke glanced at Krista. “Uh, hey,” he said a little awkwardly. “Good to see you.”
“Hey.” She gave him a small smile. “Good to see you too.”
“So, I’m guessing you heard me shout that Sebastian is my boyfriend?”
Krista shrugged. “I think most of the pediatric emergency room waiting area did, but if you don’t want me to know, I’m happy to pretend I heard nothing.”
Luke let out a rough, tired chuckle. “At this point, I don’t give a fuck. I just want to know that Harper is okay and figure out where Sebastian is and see if he’s okay.”
She reached out and squeezed his arm. “I get that.”
“What are you doing here?” Luke asked. “I know you and Sebastian are talking about some business stuff but how do you know Brie?”
Luke tried to listen as Krista explained how they knew each other, and he nodded and must have said the right things but Krista fell silent as Brie approached.
She had her arms wrapped around herself and looked very worried.
“They’re running some tests on Harper now, but they’re going to take me back to the waiting area so I can see her as soon as they’re done.
There’s a limit on the number of visitors at the moment, but I’ll let Sebastian know you’re here, Luke. ”
“Thanks.”
“Thank you.” Brie glanced up at him. “Seb said you called 9-1-1.”
“Least I could do,” he said gruffly.
Brie glanced at Krista. “Thanks for making sure I got here safely. I was so frazzled I—”
“Hey,” Krista said softly. “That’s what friends are for, right? Text me when you know more and if you need anything, and I mean anything, you let me know, okay?”
“Okay,” Brie said quietly.
The women hugged and then Brie disappeared in the back.
Krista frowned. “I get the feeling that she’s used to handling everything alone, or with Sebastian. Will you let me know if they need anything? I want to help out.”
“I’ll do my best,” he said. “But she seems pretty stubborn about accepting help.”
“Yeah, sounds like some hockey players I know,” she said with a laugh. “I’m used to it.”
Luke gave her a half-hearted grin.
“Do you want me to stay? I could keep you company while you wait.”
“Nah,” he said. “I’m okay. Thanks though.”
“Of course. Can I give you my number in case there’s something I can do to help or something changes?”
“Sure,” he said.
After they exchanged numbers, she leaned in and gave him a hug, then said goodbye. He watched her walk away, the skirt of her green dress billowing around her and making people’s heads turn.
Tom was a lucky man.
But, as Luke took a seat in the waiting area, he felt pretty lucky that things had worked out the way they had with Sebastian. Although nothing would feel right until he knew Harper was okay.
Luke sent a text to Sebastian to let him know where he was, then dicked around on his phone for a while, playing stupid games and trying to keep himself occupied.
He cleaned up some useless downloads and screenshots, then deleted a bunch of stupid pics of Tanner that he was constantly sending in the team group chat.
Luke realized he no longer needed either of the hookup apps he’d used previously and got rid of those too.
Luke shifted in his seat, uncomfortable, and stood up to stretch. He paced for a little bit until he realized people were glaring at him, then went out into the lobby where he could do it in peace.
He was just cursing himself out for not having a spare pair of headphones in his car, so he could listen to an audiobook or something, when he heard a familiar voice.
“Luke?”
He turned to see Sebastian staring at him from a few feet away. He looked wrecked. His hair was a mess and his face was so filled with worry that it made Luke wonder if he’d gotten terrible news.
“Harper?” Luke asked tightly. “Is she okay?”
Sebastian’s face crumpled.
“Harper will be going into surgery soon,” Sebastian rasped. “She’s rejecting the pacemaker and it’s going to have to be replaced. Fuck, she’s already been through so much. I don’t … I can’t …”
But his voice trailed off because he didn’t know what else to say.
“C’mere,” Luke rasped.
Sebastian shook his head. They were in a public place. Luke wasn’t out, he wasn’t anyone who ever wanted to come out that broadly, as far as Sebastian knew. “You don’t have to—”
“I said come here.” Luke held out his arms and Sebastian knew better, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself from walking forward.
He closed his arms around Luke’s waist and rested his head against his shoulder. Luke’s arms tightened around him, pulling him into a bone-crushing hug. Sebastian let out a small wet gasp.
While Sebastian had never thought of himself as a small person, he felt oddly safe and protected like this.
He closed his eyes and held on, his nose filled with the woodsy scent of Luke’s cologne, the leather of his jacket.
He could feel the slow, steady thump of Luke’s heart against his chest and for a few moments, he just stood there, letting the fear and worry ebb away.
With Luke’s arms around him he felt like maybe he could be strong for Brie and for Harper.
Maybe he could be enough.
Eventually, Sebastian let out a shuddering sigh and straightened, meeting Luke’s gaze.
He reached out, dragging his thumb under Sebastian’s eye and wiping away what Sebastian only now realized was tears.
“Sorry, I …” he rasped and looked away.
“Hey, you’re okay,” Luke said. “And Harper’s gonna be too. She’s a fighter, right?”
“Yeah,” Sebastian said. “Yeah, she’s always been really tough. I just hate this. She’s been through so much already.”
“I know. Tell me what they said?”
Sebastian pulled back but Luke didn’t let go. “So, you know what a pacemaker is?”
“If it’s the same as what old people have, yeah. The little device that they put in your chest to keep your heart beating. Right?”
“Yeah, it’s the same,” Sebastian said. “Her body is rejecting hers.”
“What does that mean?”
“Her body is treating it like a foreign object. So they’re going to have to remove it and replace it with a different one.”
Luke frowned. “Won’t the same thing happen again?”
“It could. Sometimes they use different materials that the body is less likely to respond badly to.”
“But she’ll be okay?”
“She should be.” Sebastian let out a long sigh. “It’s just so hard. She’s only five, Luke, and if this hadn’t been caught in time …”
“But it was. We got her to the hospital in time.”
“I know. I was just scared shitless …”
“Hey, me too,” Luke said quietly.
“You? You’re not scared of anything,” Sebastian said, glancing back at him.
Now Crawford was the one to look away. “Not sure that’s true.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Their gazes met and held and this time, neither of them looked away. “I’m scared for Harper,” Luke said quietly. “Scared of losing you. But that’s shit we should talk about another time.”
Sebastian blinked. “No, I want to know what you mean.”
Luke let out a shuddering sigh. “I’m fuckin’ scared I’m not gonna be enough for you. Scared I don’t fucking know how to be somebody’s boyfriend or partner. Scared I’ll screw this up so bad you’ll tell me to take a hike.”
“Luke …” Sebastian whispered. He closed his eyes and hung on, letting himself sink into the feeling of being cared for as Luke pressed his lips to his forehead.
Was this really the man he’d met for hate-sex on the regular, the one he’d spent so many hours arguing with, the one he couldn’t wait to chirp at every Harriers home game?
Was this the man he’d sworn he hated for so long?
Because right now, Luke Crawford felt a lot more like the kind of man Sebastian could fall in love with.