19. Chloe
He’s crazy. For some reason, he’s decided to play this little game. He keeps saying he’s not going to hurt me, but he’s dug so deep into me, seems to know so much about my life… too much about my life. And to threaten to tell Adam?
What did Adam write about his family? Was it that bad? Is that what all this is about? Targeting me to get revenge on him?
It wouldn’t be wise to just believe he won’t hurt me. At all.
If he’s as crazy and diabolical as I suspect, he could snap and hurt me at any moment. He could do so much more than just devastate Adam by blowing the lid off my fantasies, by playing the recording of me venting to Alannah about how Adam’s been treating me. Alannah’s words about our sex life from before the accident. But of course the last thing I want beyond being harmed physically is for him to do what he’s threatening to do.
Adam has turned a corner in his healing progress in the past few days. I can’t imagine what hearing all that could do to him. He’s been having dark thoughts about offing himself… I can’t let it happen. I won’t let Derek set Adam’s healing back.
Derek has obviously bugged my phone. Bugged the house. He’s got someone following me. He’s done some deep diving on my computer and he’s even pulling strings at my job! My boss told me that Cavalier Commerce is my baby, that my hard work has paid off.
Derek Steele has dug into multiple layers of my life to get leverage.
Sex? He’s done this for more sex? I don’t get this at all. He’s rich. He looks like a fitness model in regular clothes and a movie star when he’s in a suit. He’s charming. He knows how to make a woman feel desired. So, why me? Why be this methodical and devious? Why, when there’s no way he has any trouble finding women willing to have sex with him? Even kinky sex, I’m sure.
I need to think. I need to assess my options. But right now, he’s undressing me, and he’s determined to have sex with me.
I close my eyes and a tear rolls down my cheek as I tell myself I’ll have to just let it happen. He could overpower me easily, he’s made threats. This feels like the safest option: do what he wants and get out of here.
The man he phoned will make sure I get home safely at eleven o’clock, so obviously I get to go home in time to greet Adam. Just a couple hours and then I can go home and think about how to deal with this. Maybe after this, he’ll be done. I’ll just lie here and he’ll get what he wants and maybe he’ll move on.
He dusts kisses down my body as he takes my underwear off.
“Legs wide, please.”
I’m frozen in place, thinking no. No, no, no.
I can’t. I can’t just let this happen. No. This isn’t right.
“Now, little bunny,” he urges.
Our gazes connect and he gives me one of his beautifully dazzling smiles. The smile he used on me so many times to disarm me and lure me in.
“Please don’t do this,” I plead, entire body quaking.
“Now,” he says simply.
And his eyes look cold. He looks cold, sinister, and just as handsome as he always looks. If I don’t do this, it could be catastrophic.
If I do allow this, how can I even look in the mirror at myself?
He takes my non-answer, my non-movement as a cue to do what he wants. He parts my legs and I don’t struggle. I shakily close my eyes tight.
And I feel his tongue swipe through my folds before he zeroes in on my clit, sucking hard.
I jolt and this makes Derek laugh. Deviously.
“Sopping wet for me, just like I knew you would be. You’re perfect, Chloe.”
I squeeze my eyes shut tighter, as if it’ll shield me further, fisting the bedding as he settles in between my thighs. His fingers spread me apart and then, nothing.
Nothing happens for a long moment, so I open my eyes. And I immediately wish I’d kept them shut, because he’s staring at me down there. Staring at my exposed private parts with a look on his face that would make me blush if this were last Friday. Our eyes meet and he flashes me a grin then moves back in, immediately sucking hard.
I tell myself it’s just mechanics, biology, as I’m quickly shuttled into sensation. Both of his hands snake up and grip my breasts.
“Let me hear you. Don’t you dare hold back,” Derek demands, then drives fingers inside me, crooking them against my g-spot. “Hold back and it’ll force me to pull out some moves before you’re ready for them, Chloe…”
My hands cover my face and I lose it. Lose complete control and begin shuddering as he takes me over the brink.
He’s slurping, plunging with fingers of one hand, and twisting a nipple with his other while I convulse. It’s lewd. It’s wrong. And the sensations just go on and on and on.
“Stop, too mu-much,” I finally cry out.
“No. Never too much,” he denies, then barks, “Eyes on me. Now!”
I move my hands and he looks like a man possessed as he fingers me harder, sucks harder, and suddenly, with our eyes locked, my body bucks even harder as his fingers move fast in and out of me. I see white spots as everything becomes drenched between my legs, including Derek’s face before the edges of my vision blurs.
I try to catch my breath, but now he’s driving that thick erection forward, slamming it deep while moaning before one of his hands wraps tight around my throat with his eyes holding mine hostage.
“Fuck, baby, fuck, fuck, fuck, Chloe!” He pounds and pounds and finally comes with a roar before he collapses on top of me, giving me all his weight.
I’m bawling.
He’s lifting me, carrying me into the bathroom, setting me down on the vanity between the sinks.
I stare at him through blurry eyes as he wipes his face with a towel and then leans over and turns on the taps for the big, soaker tub.
He made me squirt. I’ve never done that before. His face was absolutely drenched, and he wasn’t disgusted by it.
And now he’s trying to take care of me. He dries my tears with a clean towel and I’m trembling all over as I watch him pour from a bottle of foaming bath. I know it’s no coincidence that it’s the exact same blue bottle I have at home with Epsom salt and coconut oil in it. I bought one on the weekend on the way home from his place. It seems I was followed even then.
I’m still trembling when he lifts me up and steps into the tub with me, sitting down and arranging me in front of him, between his legs.
He leans back and cradles my head against his chest as I continue crying while he lifts a folded washcloth from the niche in the wall, wets it, and squeezes the water out before he dabs my cheeks with it, murmuring something I don’t make out over the roaring water as he presses kisses to my forehead while tipping my face up to look at him.
He’s searching my face as he continues to dab my cheeks with the cloth, staring into my eyes the way he did before, no iciness, only warmth. Warmth with a smitten expression on his face.
I say nothing. I just keep crying.
He doesn’t look unhinged. He doesn’t look dangerous. But he is. Sitting here smiling at me with that tender expression while I cry in the bathtub with him.
Why is he doing this to me?
When the water is just about to the rim, he moves us upright so he can reach the taps and turn them off.
And he lounges in the hot, bubbly water with me like we don’t have a care in the world, nowhere else to be, and nothing to talk about. He runs the wet washcloth over various parts of my body, snuggling me, dotting my hairline with little kisses.
My tears have dried. I’m staring off into space when he says, “Hungry? You skipped dinner, didn’t you?”
“Not hungry,” I manage to rasp.
“Come on, I got something you’ll like.” He nudges me so I’ll stand and takes my hand, helping me out of the tub before wrapping a thick towel around me.
He grabs another towel for himself, dries off quickly and wraps it around his waist, tucking the end in while casually saying, “I’ll leave your bathrobe on the end of the bed for you. Got it for you today. Got you some slippers, too. See that you always have a pair on when you’re there.” He kisses me softly, holding my jaw with one hand.
“Mm,” he adds and then runs the backs of his fingers down my cheekbone. “You’re beautiful, Chloe. Fucking you is my new favorite thing.”
I do nothing until he leaves. When he does, I close the door and shakily sit on the toilet.
I blow my nose and do my business, then while washing my hands I examine my red, puffy face before I sigh and move out to his bedroom, where he’s already made the bed and folded my clothes, putting them on the end of the bench beside a very soft pink robe. On the floor beside my sneakers are slippers that match the robe.
I put them on, hang the towel up, and dreading what might happen next, I leave his room and find him setting the table.
It’s dark now but instead of turning lights on, he’s lit the dining space with multiple candles. There’s wine. And there’s a platter of taco shells along with taco fixings in the middle of the table.
Derek looks at me, smiles, and pulls a chair out for me.
“Taco Tuesday,” he announces.
Adam isn’t a fan of tacos, so I usually go out for them with Alannah or Coraline. Or I used to go. I haven’t had tacos in months. I can only guess he’s surmised I love tacos because I’ve probably gushed about them online.
I sit and he pours me a glass of my favorite sweet frizzante wine. I haven’t bought a bottle since I finished that one that led to pulling out my vibrator. I certainly don’t want to drink any right now.
I stare at Derek as he sits opposite me.
“If this were a date instead of blackmail, I’d be getting lucky tonight, wouldn’t I? Oh wait...” He flashes a devious grin then throws his head back and laughs.
My face flames as my blood boils with an onslaught of anger.
He sobers. “You’re pissed now, but just wait. I’ll win you over.” He pours himself a glass of wine and starts to put together a taco.
“I’d make one for you, too, little bunny, but I don’t know what you like in yours. Show me.”
I remain still.
Derek leans forward slightly and orders, “Show me, Chloe.”
“Fuck you,” I manage.
He stares for a moment and I’m wondering if I’ve just made a grave error.
He takes a bite of his taco.
“Mm.” He chews, swallows, and wipes his mouth. “Pretty good. We have a girl who drops food off when we need it. Me and my siblings here, I mean. One of my sisters cooks, went to culinary school, but she doesn’t use her condo here much. Lives in Phoenix with her husband. My other sister doesn’t cook at all. Paulina’s versatile, can make pretty much anything, so I use her whenever I don’t feel like going out while I’m in town. Whatever you’re in the mood for, I can have done in a few hours most days. I’ve already got plans for our next dinner. Have some.”
He takes another bite and chews, makes more sounds of enjoyment, then sips the wine before looking at the glass. “Too sweet,” he mutters and then he takes the last few bites of the taco before going to the fridge and pulling out two bottles of water. He sets one in front of me and kisses the top of my head. “I’m already sweet enough. You should eat some tacos. It’s Tuesday, baby. They’re good.”
“No thank you,” I mutter, uncapping a water and taking a long drink.
“You want, we can fuck again now. We’ve still got a few hours,” he suggests, way too casually, eyebrows up high as he jerks his thumb toward the bedroom.
I say nothing, so he asks, “What do you want, Chloe? Tell me what you want most right now. Maybe I can make it happen.”
“I wanna go,” I croak out, on the verge of tears again.
He reaches out. I stare at his outstretched hand.
He wiggles his fingers.
I frown.
“Chloe?” He wiggles them again.
I reach out and he takes my hand in his, stroking my knuckles with his thumb. “You wanna go?”
An ugly sound comes out of my mouth as I fail to hold back an ugly-cry sound.
“You don’t want tacos? Don’t wanna fuck again?”
Another sob comes out of me.
“Okay, beautiful,” he says gently. “This time. Because I can tell you’re overwhelmed.”
I get to my feet and try to pull my hand away, but he doesn’t let go. He stands and uses the grip to pull me to his body, wrapping me up in a hug.
I’m stiff. I’m flustered. I want to bawl my eyes out some more.
“I want you to stop this, too, Derek,” I say brokenly.
He leans back to look at my face, then his fingertips are moving down my temple and tucking my hair behind my ear.
His head tips to the side and he leans down and touches his lips to mine. “No, you don’t. You just don’t realize it yet. I’ll message you with instructions when I’m ready to see you again. Don’t disappoint me, Chloe.”
I swallow, staring at his face.
“You’re a sexy, smart, capable, woman. So don’t do something stupid,” he warns in a gentle tone, touching my nose with the tip of his index finger. “Don’t tell Alannah what’s happening here. You can let her think we’re going to continue to fuck, but for the moment, nothing else. No texts about me. No notes. No sign-language or hiring skywriters, using carrying pigeons, or anything like that. Be smart.” He taps my nose with his index finger a second time. “Don’t test me, baby. I’m a hundred per cent serious. Our little arrangement is between just you and me. I mean that. The only thing you can talk about regarding us with her or anyone else is how incredible the fucking is. Because it is. Isn’t it?”
I try to break out of his hold, but he tightens his grip and moves in, so his mouth is just a few inches from mine. “You don’t want to defy me. Clear?”
I nod slightly, more fear spiking.
“No attempting to remove any of the surveillance equipment, no attempts to lose the tail I’ve got on you when you’re out. I am not joking. You don’t want me to get anxious about not knowing where you are or what you’re doing. That would be very, very bad. And I’m not talking the type of bad that earns you an erotic spanking, little bunbun, because there will be times where you get those… making me worry about you is different. I’m talking about consequences. Big.” He gestures with both hands in the air. “Big, Chloe. Understand?”
I step back.
He steps forward.
I step again and find myself against the wall.
“Tell me you understand,” Derek demands, gaze sharpening.
“I understand,” I reply.
“Okay,” he says, looking satisfied. “I’ll tell Kenny you’re getting ready to go.” He cages me in with both hands on the wall on either side of my face and then he drops his voice to barely above a whisper, mouth right by my ear. “Until next time, baby. It probably won’t be long. I don’t know how long I can stand to be without you. Good work on the Cavalier campaign. Keep up the good work. I’m replacing that ten k bonus. In fact, I’ll add a zero. Hallman didn’t deserve it. You do. I’ll drop it into your savings account tomorrow.”
He backs up, turns and goes to the table, lifting another taco shell and filling it while I stare, more than a little dumbfounded. He flashes me a smile and I manage to unglue my feet to get away from him.
After throwing my clothes on quickly, leaving the robe on the bench, kicking the slippers off, then getting my shoes on, I rush to the living area where I grab my coat and my phone.
“Don’t forget your pepper spray,” Derek calls over from the kitchen.
He’s cleared the table and looks like he’s putting food away. I don’t dilly dally. I grab my shit and rush out. I run to the elevator, press the button, and feel like my heart is on fire waiting for it to come.
When it does, I collide with a stunning blonde.
“Oh sorry,” I say, backing up.
She steps out of the elevator and looks me over, frowning.
“Who are you?” she asks.
“Nobody,” I tell her.
“Which suite were you visiting?” she demands.
I probably look like something the cat dragged in. The tips of my hair are damp from the bath and my eyes must be puffy from all the crying.
“I...” I start, then back up into the elevator. “The one before the last door over there.” I gesture and press the button. She tilts her head curiously and I’m pretty sure she considers sticking her hand in to stop the door from closing so she can ask more questions. Mercifully, she doesn’t.
I cry all the way home, followed by a navy-blue SUV that continues past me when I pull into the driveway.
I’m awake when Adam gets himself into bed beside me and although I’m pretending to be asleep, I’m physically startled when he rolls into me and spoons me from behind, kissing my shoulder before settling in. He hasn’t done this in seven months. Longer than that, even. And it feels like a knife twists in my heart as a lump of emotion clogs my throat.
I got a return message from Derek’s fake message to Alannah.
I don’t blame you. He’s hot AF. But gurrrrl… be careful. His behavior is definitely suss. I think we need to talk this out. Love you lots but you might just be the flavor of the month. Don’t fall in love, gf.
I replied with:
Don’t worry. Love is 100% NOT gonna happen. And you’re prob right about the flavor. Love you. XOXO.
Not two minutes after I sent the message to her, my phone buzzed with a message from Derek.
You’ll love me. Not soon enough though.
I saved his number as DS Cavalier even though I wanted to throw my phone. A helpless feeling enveloped me instead as I realized I was putting him in my phone under a code name. And it felt eerily similar to the feeling I got when I was told about Adam’s spinal cord injury.
But in addition to feeling helpless, I feel deceitful. Like a cheater. I slept with someone tonight out of fear, but I still did it. I might have tried to just lay there and take it like a corpse, but that’s not what happened. I came harder than I’ve come in my life. I squirted. But it doesn’t count as part of the hall pass. At all.
Five minutes after Derek’s text, something dawned on me, so I wrote back.
Are there cameras or microphones in my bathrooms?
He replied.
Of course not. But that can be remedied if you force my hand.
I angrily cleaned the faces of my kitchen cupboards, organized the coat closet, and did it feeling like I was being watched. Because I was. I wondered where the cameras were. My eyes kept scanning to see if I could spot them, but nothing. After a long, tearful shower, I dried and dressed for bed behind my shower curtain as it was the only place that felt private. I was in bed with the lights out at 10:35 in case Adam came home early.
I see four o’clock in the morning before I finally fall asleep, spending all night staring into the void, no idea what to do about any of this.